I dont wanna choose medication, Im getting desperate for ideas !

Jessica - posted on 05/09/2011 ( 130 moms have responded )

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I have no support system, I am a single mother to my five year old son. Whom not only has been recently diagnosed as ADHD but also has had a very rough time this past year and a half... Im trying behavioral couseling and behavior charts but sometimes his behavior is beyond my strength. I feel like Im fighting with him everyday... its a battle of wills. And by time Im home from work I dont have it in me to battle. Hes mouthy, disrespectful, nosey, impulsive, angry,loud, but behind it all hes an amazingly smart and sweet loving little boy. I just dont know what to do anymore ! I wanna give up all the time but I dont wanna medicate him just to make it easier for me. Im afraid it may change his personality... which without all the bad parts, is amazing. Hes a total people person! What should I do???

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Cindy - posted on 09/19/2011

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Its NOT a bad thing to try medication!! I fought this for 2 years with my son and I finally gave in and decided to try it. Best choice ever!! Some kids just need it and my doctor told me this....if your child needed glasses would you get them for him? Well this is the same thing. We are using adderall xr and it has not changed my boy at all. He hasn't experienced any side effects either. Its worth a try and if you don't like the way he acts or you think its not right for you and him then you can always discontinue use of it. Just an opinion from someone who fought starting medication also. Hope things get better for you and your son!!!

Roxanna - posted on 09/26/2011

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I need to put my disclaimer: I am very outspoken and have no patience for ignorance. That said, my parents fought with me for years, beatings, emotional abuse and emotionally distant. Why? Because I lashed out, I couldn't concentrate, although I was smart, borderline genius, I kept failing at school. Tried to commit suicide numerous times as a teen and I was promiscius. At 24 I had my first child and was diagnosed with PPD. Three months later I was still miserable and fought for two years before I started taking Zoloft. The reason why, I was stealing from my company for the rush. Instead of jail time, I had to be diagnosed and put on meds with twice a week counseling. Through counseling I learned I also had ADHD and that it is inherited. Things start falling into place. I see behavior issues with my oldest, but no doctor wants to diagnose her. I changed her diet, kept her busy, rewards for good behavior, etc. At 11 I HAD to put her on medication for her ADHD because I knew that I alone could not help her. Educate yourselves! Mental illneses are a legitamite disease. If your child has diabetes, you give them insulin, if they have cancer, they take meds, why would you NOT help your child and give them medicine for a mental illness? A chemical imbalance of the brain can be just as damaging to ANYONE as Cancer or Diabetes. Just recently I began to see a Psychiatrist, at 40 years old I am having mood swings, rages and bouts of depression that my regular medication could not help. I was diagnosed with Bipolarity. The side effects of Bipolarity are Depression and ADHD. I could develop Schizophrenia as I get older and do not medicate. Three months after, my oldest was diagnosed with the same because ALL mental illnesses are hereditary. This is not about you, but about helping your child become a productive menber of society, not a criminal or a junkie. Good luck.

Terri - posted on 09/24/2011

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I understand how you feel about not wanting to medicate your child. Mental health treatments are still for some reason considered almost taboo by some. Consider this, if your child had an infection would you give him the proper antibiotics? Do you always make sure your child gets all the proper immunizations that are life saving? Would you have the doctors put a cast on a broken bone? To me this is no different. Your child is suffering and needs help. We are fortunate enough to be living in a time when there are medications available to help with his condition. You should feel no guilt in trying to help your child. ADHD is treatable with medication and counciling. By doing both together the outcome is going to be twice as good.

Melissa - posted on 12/02/2011

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Deanna, It sounds as if your nephew just didn't have the right meds. My daughter is on meds and she is an honor roll student and my son brings home nothing less than a b so its not the meds that screw them up, its not paying attention to what they are taking and when one doesn't seem to be working, then they need to be adjusted. Its just may take a few times to get the dosage he needs. I do however agree that things like extra sugar in things should be maintained. My kids do not drink pop. They drink mostly water and juice...

Sjorcha - posted on 11/26/2011

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ADHD is an inherited trait, and is been around for eons. Most of the world's greatest leaders all had ADHD, even Einstein!. In history past there was no medication just life skills with amazing strength and energy.
I have 3 ADHD children that we have raised without medication, only once did we try with one child and found the alteration to his personality far more unbearable.
We were referred to a natural parenting program that saved our sanity as parents. The first thing we were taught was to give our children a high protien diet with a large dose of nuts (pity the few children that are allergic). Peanuts, almonds, cashews, preferably given in the morning can make amazing difference to your child's demeanour for the rest of the day.
When my oldest son was little, I carried around a jar of peanut butter everywhere!!!! It worked a treat.
ADHD kids need plenty of hands on stimualtion and constructive physical exercise, as they are mostly highly intelligent and have far more energy that parents can cope with.
Diet should be plenty of 'finger' food rather than sitting down to a large meal.
ADHD kids & adults respond more greatly to tension and react accordingly. Its hard on parents at times. but keeping calm yourself will help your child calm down too. If you cant break tension with laughter (this works a great deal) another way to diffuse tensions is by taking your child outside for some playtime; kicking a ball around, some climbing and in summer ADHD kids respond very well to all water based activities, swimming and being completely immersed in water has a very refreshing & calming effect during 'sessions' of irritable behaviour.
The secret is, after they have calmed down, is to say "You feel better now?", once a child recognises that they do, it heads them towards self help & discipline to regulate their moods as they get older.
ADHD kids need a lot of 'self value', so getting them to help with daily tasks such cooking, gardening, cleaning up and praising them for their contribution helps tremendously.
Recognise that these children have energy and brain matter to burn and use, getting them to watch a dvd or tv for quiet time isn't going to work, but rather, scatter some lego, some empty boxes on the ground and let them use their own energy to create something, ride a bike to the park, or throw them in the pool (if you have one) is their way of quietening down.
Conversation is also critically important. ADHD kids need a lot of talking with, so just keep talking with them, not to them.

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Lori - posted on 07/28/2012

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Don't quit mom you are a good mom. Our son was very hyper impulsive etc.. we put him on the Feinghold diet. Wow it really helped him. We found out it was more than dyes. It was good food that made him react bad. Strawberries peanut butter, cinnamon, but. We got an education. Hecouldnt have juices because citric acid made him crazy. Most doctors don't recommend it because it isn't financially favorable for them. Our son did take medicine by 2nd grade but without his diet it didnteven work. We also found a Neuro center that has everything right there that we need. He is 21 working full time and attending walnit hill rest. School.

Adrienne - posted on 07/25/2012

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I was very against medication for a long time with my son, honestly im still not sure how i feel about it. My son was on a couple different adhd medications, that were not right for him, and now he is on zoloft for anxiety/ocd, because it seems that is the bigger issue at this point. He is in group and individual therapy as well. At this point, he does need the medication, his anxiety was just so awful and heartbreaking. Hopefully it is not a forever thing, but if so thats ok too. there are other options before going the medication route, and your son is pretty young. there are dietary changes you could try, behavoir modifications (which i see you are trying) Just hang in there, and do what you feel is right for your child. Honestly i beat myself up no matter what i do, so its just tough no matter what. also try and get some support for yourself as well, it is really tough to deal with, it seems like a lot of good moms are on this site though:)

Haven - posted on 05/06/2012

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I started my 5 year old daughter on a herbal medication from the health food store called LTO3. She's only been taking it for a week, but from what I've read about it I'm really optimistic. Good luck.

Amy - posted on 05/04/2012

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My life is MUCH more difficult when my son is not on his Concerta, but I am trying hard to get some weight on him. His medicine really affects his appetite. And he is aready so skinny!



I used to think medication was what was best for my son, but now I know it's not. I read an article recently that said stimulant meds are made to stimulate the production of certain brain chemicals that are lacking in ADHD brains, plus assists with neurotransmitters that are sluggish. Then he went on to say that if we keep giving our children drugs that do the job that our bodies are supposed to do, our bodies become dependent and slow down the production of these chemicals. The more we give them, the worse they become. Their brains actually shrink!



That scared me. Now I don't know if I want to give him those stimulant meds anymore. Even though he is super difficult when he is off them, and I am constantly getting phone calls from his school, I really worry about his health. I swear, a Mom can go crazy worrying about her children!



Amy

Beth - posted on 05/03/2012

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Jessica, look at it like this. Your son is probably miserable in his own skin to be acting this way. Maybe medication is best for HIM and not you. My son needs a mood stabilizer or he can't stand hmself or anyone else. He has autism and is 8. He has been on low doses of meds for a long time now. Many years but it has helped and he is so much more comfortalbe. He's happy and content a lot of the time. This is something you should think about for his best interest. I did't want to medicate either but its what's best for my boy.

Beth - posted on 05/03/2012

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Amy you are exactly right, about 5 yr olds.
That is the big reason I feel strongly that ADHD should not be dx until at least the age of 7.
Before that the behaviors can be just the age.

Amy - posted on 05/03/2012

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I know exactly how you feel, Jessica! Fast forward 2yrs. I have been through the same experiences and very hard choices.



Whether or not you chose to medicate your child, my only advice is to try a non-stimulant FIRST. The stimulant medication out there is dirty, nasty and has terrible side effects. He is only 5yrs old. I am sure some of that is 5yr old behavior. I have a 7yr old with ADHD, and a 5yr old that does not have ADHD. My 5yr old can be very defiant and difficult at times. I feel certain he will outgrow this. He is testing his boundaries. I also have found that if the stress in our house is elevated, he acts worse. Also, a high sugar diet makes him worse.



Please, leave no stone unturned before you consider stimulant meds. My 7yr old was on them for a little over a year and they are horrible. SHORT TERM fix for a long term problem!



Good luck!

Amy

Kym - posted on 05/02/2012

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Jessica,

Behind it all, he is asking for more ways to manage his time. There are several community activities in your local area along with sports or reading clubs or chess clubs, etc that are great redirectors for the manager/president in your son. Have fun with his schedule! Make it excitng! Be consistant!

Simple redirections while you throw in some manners WITHOUT a fit yourself, will change things almost instantly. Have more patients and more redirections with enforced boundaries. Again, be consistant with your desired expected behavior.

If you would like to have or need an all natural alternative to behavior medication, I suggest LeVive Red. I am an Ardyss International independent distributor of LeVive red juice which contains the power of 5 super fruits. (mangosteen, goji, noni, acai berry and pomegranite). Please cross reference to appreciate the benefits of this product at www.ardyss.com. This may be a possible solution/alternative. FDA does not regulate the use of fruits.

The company can be reached toll free at 855-5Ardyss. If your questions are answered to your satisfaction and you'd like a LeVive red set, use id #78536893.

Most of all, remember, he is looking for more opportunities to manage within set boundaries.

Beth - posted on 04/26/2012

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ADHD is not cured by diet. If diet changes effect it then it's not ADHD , it's a food allergy.

Www.SensitiveSweets.com - posted on 04/26/2012

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My oldest son is on the spectrum and he is on a GFCF diet (gluten free, casein-free, soy-free). It absolutely works, but you have to be strict. They act like a drug addict and search for it all over the house. After 2 solid weeks on the diet, they get accustomed to the new foods and they start improving. Honestly it works, but you need to be strict. Most families start and give up because they think the diet is tough, which shocks me. I think its much easier to be on the diet and deal with a happier more manageable child...than deal with the melt downs and irritation.

Patricia - posted on 04/23/2012

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Try having him evaluated for Aspbergers. My son was diagnosed at 4 for ADHD and just got diagnosed at 7 for Aspbergers as well. He is receiving counseling for Aspbergers and takes medication for ADHD. We are also trying to get him an IEP at school. It's a long hard road, but just take baby steps. Everything will come together for you and your son. Oh, and I can't get through a day without prayer. That is probably the most important thing for me to keep my sanity.

Misti - posted on 04/23/2012

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I would like to pose this to you...Do you think it would be "failing" to have to give him medication? I am in no way a medication for children advocate but after reading your post I get the sense that you feel as though you should be able to control or fix this yourself without medication. That may be possible with some medical issues but it sounds as though this may be one of the exceptions. It seems to me...and this is just one mom's opinion...that it may be beneficial to for you both to start looking at medication. Hopefully you have a great doctor for him as I do for my children. My doctor calls on his cell phone after work to check on my children or to give me results of a test they've had. If you don't have a great, supportive, understanding doctor then that would be the first thing I would do. Find one. Talk with other parents or friends to find the best doctor fit for you and your son. I wish you good luck with this and please don't ever feel like you are failing him by giving him medication. Sometimes it is the best option.

Amanda - posted on 04/22/2012

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Stephanie:



I too am bipolar... but I think there is a difference in the two here. Bipolar is not something you grow out of... it gets worse... ADHD can improve on it's own with diet or age. Also, the medications are debatable for ADHD whereas it is not for Bipolar. Just a thought. My husband hates that he was medicated... didn't think it helped for ADHD

Stephanie - posted on 04/22/2012

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well i grew up having bipolar disorder and i am afraid for my daughter. But what i can tell you is that i was not medicaided for bipolar until the age of 24. I can not live a happy full life on medication. And I believe my childhood may have been rough at times for me I was still able to enjoy and feel things like a normal child. I think its important to give them the best childhood possible. But during the teen age years they may grow out of it or it could get worse, maybe thats the time to decide on medication. I dont really know, every situation is different. But thats my two sense.

Amanda - posted on 04/21/2012

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I totally understand. I have chosen not to medicate. There is other options. Try looking up ADHD diets, they aren't an immediate fix.... but I have known several people who used them and had success. With my daughters.... I used a lot of ignoring... the more attention you bring to something... the more reinforcing it is. Also, children with ADHD can become very overwhelmed by a lot of items.... so down size in toys and such. Also, do you recieve remedial therapy??? If not, you may want to consider it.

Debbie - posted on 04/17/2012

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I have a six year old with ADHD, ODD and PDD my husband and I were also against meds., but when I suffered bruised ribs for the 3rd time as well as an eye injury and he was not doing well in school we had no choice. They only change in is personality is he is no longer the mean nasty child he was at times. Aderall and Respirdone had helped my little boy be the sweet loving boy he really is!! This didn't totally stop the acting out but it is less and less ( don't we all get angry at one time or another). Also his school work improved because he is more able to focus on task.

Penny - posted on 04/15/2012

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Hi, I too am against medication. I chose to do Floor time ,which has a wonderful affect so far.

But it is a process that requires a lot of work ....

I am a believer in the placticity of the brain and my hard work has shown many changes that took place .

You can google floortime and see if it could help you...



I know your kid is amazing and he he can develop a lot with the right help....

Maritza - posted on 04/11/2012

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It is true all that u say I did a review on the medications and said u know what I need to help him, but there are times that he gets his outburst and I have to tight with him there are time that I feel that I am loosing it but need to keep going.

Maritza - posted on 04/11/2012

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I know how u fell I am a single mother to going through the same thing but sometimes the medication my son takes it is doing k does not have any affects on him that will change him.

Michele - posted on 04/11/2012

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PLease let me know if you are interested in essential oil..... They work wonders for ADHA kids

Barb - posted on 04/09/2012

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i totally understand where you are coming from being a single mother myself. i didn't want to go the meds route either but by grade 2 my son was still not able to read at his grade level,sit in a classroom for more then 1/2 hr, perform like the other students and he had no friends because all the kids were scared of his outbursts.

you have to ask yourself this question: if my son had asthma would i give him the ventalin to breathe? if he had diabeaties would i give him the insulin to live? its a very tough battle because we as parents don't want to medicate our children but are we doing them more harm than good?

i like you tried so many different things to help him, but the reality was i wasn't helping him, it was holding him back socially and academically.

He has been on concerta since december 2011 and his life has improved dramatically. He now has friends, he got invited to his first birthday party last week, he can now sit in a classroom for the whole day - he's even allowed back out at recess - a priveldge that was denied him since september due to his behaviour. To him this was his greatest acheivment in his life he could go out and play and he has friends!!!!

You have to remember this isn't about you it's about him and how he will grow as a person.

I wish you the best of luck in your decision.

Adrianne - posted on 04/08/2012

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In the old days, this was called "hyperactivity." It runs rampant throughout my family.



No doubt these kids are harder to raise, they are highly intelligent, often start out smarter than you, (I can attest it is HARD to raise a kid born smarter than you'll ever be), often physically precocious and BUSY.



Best advice from experience, start dialogue early, they are logical even if impulsive. Appeal to their logic at their age level.



Challenge them and keep them busy. Left to their own devices they will pursue whatever interests them at the moment, with gusto. So choose the interests. Each has at least one talent, many are multi-talented, go with it.



Supervise, actively. These are not kids who you can leave to entertain themselves. They will be entertained but the results may well not entertain you.



REMEMBER that "right/wrong," "good/bad," "dangerous/not dangerous" are learned, not innate. They will get into all manner of mayhem out of curiosity, you must assess whether it is fair to judge them based on info they have not yet been taught. Instead, take each occasion as a learning experience. And do the dialogue.



Make them reach. They have the capacity to reason beyond their age level. Dialogue, again.



Be their advocate, make sure he/she knows you love them no matter what, even if you can't approve of what they just did. If you direct the activities, you will find that happens a lot less.



I am certain that far too many kids who are "busy" are put on these pschotropics. More than unnecessary, they do a lot more long term damage than any short term help.



Get yourself some mega vitamins and be prepared to run.



Properly directed these high energy little people grow up to be the high energy, hugely successful big people who run rings around the competition.



The operative words: "Properly directed."

Natalie - posted on 03/07/2012

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I am not alone then ! My 8yr old daughter has just been diagnosed with ADHD and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, although I have had suspicions about It since year 1 at school. We are just about to start behavior techniques with her as she hates going to school and it's a constant battle to get her there she also has problems going to sleep and I'm not sure if this is just the hyper part of her or the fact she hates school so much it's causing anxiety problems ? She also has a bed wetting problem :( I am hoping by joining this site I can get some info and advice x

Andrea - posted on 02/25/2012

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HI! There are alot of parents that make that choice and thats great. I choose to medicate my boys but that is what I feel is the best for them. Have you ever tried fishoil or vitamin B complex? I am trying that now with thier medications.....I am married but have no support system either. Another mom and I tried hard to form a support group but got no where. Now we run a support group on facebook to support and educate other parents. it is called - ADHD kidscare. What I love about this group is that I have all kinds of people from all over the world who belong. We all feel normal and I post different things and parents help other parents. I give you alot of credit for trying to seek out what to do....take care of yourself too! Your doing a great job!!! Andrea

Patricia - posted on 02/23/2012

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Medicating does not make it easier for you. That's a misconception of using medications. Medication gives my boys a chance to finally be able to focus long enough to start working on their behavior. Your son does not want to behave badly. No child does. Medication does not change his personality. It gives him the ability to focus on making good decisions, which raises his self esteem. Medication when given at the proper dose for the right reason is actually a very important piece to the puzzle. I think medication should always be used along with some type of family or behavior counseling. You need to find support through a counselor, mentor, or church. Just remember to keep focused on his goals and don't beat yourself up when you have a bad time of it. No one can do it perfectly. You can only do your best. One thing I learned yesterday that I am going to use all the time...when my boys get out of hand we all go in time out. They will go to their corner and stay until we are all calmed back down including me. Then we will leave time out and get on with the day. What I'm trying to say is don't forget to put yourself in timeout for your sanity :-)

Helene - posted on 02/21/2012

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Your priority is what would be best for your child. As parents, we see medication as taboo and are very hesitant to give to our children; my husband being one of those parents. It's not only what we want for our child but how he or she is able to cope in school and in social environments with or without us being present. Arguing and battling things out can create a distance between you and your child that might otherwise not be necessary. Reconsider the medication for your sake and most of all your son's. He will have a much easier time in school and at home. Don't take it that you will be making your life easier but how well you can bond and enjoy your son with a bit of help from science.

I'm not just advising this because I like to push theories but out of experience. My child was labeled a 'troublemaker' and this was also encouraged by his teacher that made its way to his classmates; it was the worst year of his life and mine because he was targeted for everything. I was crying nearly each and every night. As your son my child was a lovely, sweet loving child also behind the out of controlled front. As they get older, it becomes a bigger challenge and most of all, you want your son to gravitate to the positive influences in other children and not negative which can lead him to destroy his future as he becomes older. DON'T do yourself the favour but do it for your son.....try the medication and have your loving child come back to you to enjoy your time together. I did and we are much happier as a family. Good Luck to and you son from the bottom of my heart.

Amy - posted on 02/20/2012

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Hey Jessica.

You poor thing! I know what your going through. I have two very defiant boys. My 7 yr old is ADHD, and my 5 yr old is just mean as a snake (no diagnosis yet).



I completely understand what a hard decision it is to put your child on medicine, or not! I was very scared to medicate my 7 yr old last year when he was 6. But he was getting so depressed because he was constantly in trouble at school, and said he "had no friends." Now, almost a year later, he has lots of friends and is happier than ever! He is in karate, cub scouts and soccer. Sometimes, you may feel like it's going to hurt him, but it actually may help him. I worry all the time if I did the right thing, but deep down I know I did. I prayed about it for a long time before I did it. That really gave me peace.



I am certainly not advocating meds. But for me, it was the right decision. It is a very personal choice...and a very hard one.



Good luck.

Maritza - posted on 02/14/2012

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Join the club my son has the same thing and i give him medication and he is a very smart kid, but I was always fighting with him but the medication did not change who he is but it helps cause I took him to behavioral theraphy it did him no good I know wha t u are going through I have been through that.

Iva - posted on 02/07/2012

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I know the thought of medicating can be scary,especially when you here people talk about their kids losing their personality and being zombies or having terrible side effects, however there can be terrible side effects to not medicating.

Add/adhd is a real chemical imbalance in the brain. They can see the difference on scans between brains on and off medicine. The different parts of the brain that talk and receive don't communicate right. So you can do all of the behavior modifications and charts but when it comes down to it your child is still working with a handicap. One that sets them up for constant redirection and correction. It puts you at odds constantly. Your sweet child is in there and doesn't enjoy being out of control any more than you like having to find the energy to deal with it constantly. It wears on your relationship. They want to be able to listen and follow through,focus and make friends. Have your affection and be able to show theirs with out the add/adhd getting in the way. The hardest part is that there are a lot of drug choices out there. They effect everybody differently so what works for one child may not work for another,k even in the same family. I can attest that it is possible to find one that will let you true child shine through with minimal side effects. My daughters only real side effect for years now has been diminished appetite during the day.(which we deal with by letting her eat a big good breakfast before taking her meds) . She also take one melatonin tablet at bedtime to help in case she had a hard time sleeping . (which only occurred on occasion.)

The most important thing is to find a pediatrician who will work closely with you and really listen to you and relate well to your child. It's also important to know that behavior modification along with medication and keeping teachers and everyone consistent will give you the best results. You can really have those great moments more often!

Beth - posted on 01/13/2012

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ADHD is a medical condition. Medical conditions need MEDICINE. Do your research to what it actually is. It's not a behavior problem. It's a brain chemistry problem. The most efficant way to correct it is by using medication. When things like diet change don't work , medication does. I AM ADHD , I felt handicapped as a child and it's because my mother didn't do anything to help my ADHD. I felt like I was stupid. Having ADHD is like walking around with 2 dozen radio stations going at the same time all playing a different song. All in your head. But when you find the right medication it gets rid of the chaos. You can think, you can live to your full potential. It finally all makes since. I can finally finish my degree. My daughter is on medication , she's bright, out going , a total people person and BRILLIANT. Medication makes it easier on her not easier on me. She now can show her brilliance in school. instead of struggling , she before was making good grades but her behavior at school is distracting to other children.

Neslihan - posted on 01/13/2012

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I have a 7 year old boy who has all the symptoms but not diagnosed by both psychiatrists I brought him to. We are not on meds and do not consider it as an option in our case at least for now. Since he is doing good in school academically (in top 3 in his class all the time for now) and has no problems with his friends for now. He is quite annoying towards his 3 year old brother and can be overeacting most of the time at home too, but we are trying to overcome it by being patient. Of course it is not easy since my work hours is flexible I go home 2 hours earlier than him cook the dinner and relax myself for homework time before he comes:) I finish his homework routine and playtime before his little brother comes home so I have an hour left for the little one. It is quite tiring and stressful for me, but I feel like I am doing my best.

Deanna - posted on 12/15/2011

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My Nephew suffered from F.A.S. His so called mother is a hard core drug addict and she had know idea how to deal with him so she put my nephew in a foster home,so when he was put in care with the ministry of families they put him on ridaline. So please don't go telling me about the wrong med's bullshit idea. I really think all you parents need to take a long hard look at the damage you will cause your children by giving them medications over a long term period of time. Taking out some things in their diets does help restore the balance in their bodies so he or she will start to get better. I know first hand that fruits and uncooked veggies makes your body more PH balanced ,so your more Alkaline instead of Acid.It's true you really are what you eat.

Christina - posted on 12/15/2011

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I'm a mom with AD/HD who just started back on medication two years ago...I wish my mom would have kept me on the medication(Ritalin) but because in was back in the 70's and not much was known about ADD/HD, she didn't like the way I slowed down (Zombie) and because I was improving in school, she thought I was better...so she took me off the meds....I struggled in school after that and had to develop coping skills in not only my work but also social areas of my life. When my school suggested that my daughter was AD/HD and that she should be on medication I didn't really want to put her on the medication and neither did her father...we both by the halfway point in the year and a lot of frustration saw it was clear she needed help so we tried Concerta and when that proved the wrong choice, we switched her to ADDerall XR by the first grade which is working out for her so far...I do NOT have a Zombie if your child is one then you need to consult the Peds doctor....The meds are used to right a chemical imbalance in the brain...it is not going to fix behavior issues or other problems only your parenting and a behavior specialist will do that. The medication helps a person with AD/HD too slow down our thinking so we can put the puzzle together easier so we can organize our thoughts and actions before we do something...we think fast and we are smarter than given credit for...we are gifted and talented when given the right tools and opportunities! AD/HD runs in families it just doesn’t pop up...I’ve graduated school went to college and did fine without the use of medication but I’ll never know if it would have made it easier or helped me socially..I’m giving that opportunity to my little girl what she does with it is up to her. Read as much as you can and find a support group. Good Luck

Jodi - posted on 12/13/2011

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there is a lot of information out there on omega 3 oil helping with ADD/ADHD because kids who have this have low levels of omega 3 which helps with concentration. Our son hasn't been diagnosed with either but is always wiggling, easily distracted has a hard time staying on task etc...but he is a very smart caring person. I just started him on "Nordic Naturals Omega 3*6*9 Junior fish oil supplement" It's for kids 5+. They say it takes about three months to start helping. So I'm praying it does. Also there are certain foods that can make ADD/ADHD better or worse. You probably know that already but thought I'd share what I know. I don't blame you for not wanting to medicate.

Tracy - posted on 12/10/2011

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I was always understanding that kids shouldn't be diagnosed with ADD or ADHD untill 2nd grade, just because sometimes its lack of routine kids are used too. my nephew has ADHD, and my sister was reluctant to put him on meds too. She changed his diet (no dyed any kinda anything foods) and she noticed a little bit of change. She later gave him meds, but only gives it to him during the week, for when he is in school. My newphew was diagnosed at 6, and he is now 15. This week on and weekend off, works best for him and the family. My sister noted that he was able to pay more attention to the finer details in his school work. like details on his reindeer is what she noticed first. He used to quickly draw stick figures to get through stuff, to drawing life like animals and people kind of idea. I think its a matter of what you think is going to work best for your child. I dont think you are medicating him to catch a break. With meds come side effects too,so make sure you educate yourself on what it is you have for options to give your son as far as meds, but also educate yourself on what the disease is all about. An gosh dont let your son be labled!!

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Try changing his diet. Do not give him anything with artificial colors in it, especailly Red 40. This stuff is like a drug for kids and causes them to be hyper. I took my child off of any artifical colors at age 5 and he is like a new child. He is 10 now. When he does eat something by accident, then he becomes like a different child. It may not work for your child, but it is certainly worth a try. Do a search for Dr. Feingold's diet.

Andrea - posted on 12/07/2011

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PLEASE FIND THIS AND WATCH IT! " add loving it" I JUST FOUND OUT I AM ADHD AT AGE 41! I tried to tell my parents growing up something was wrong but they did not want to do medications! I AM FEELING SO MUCH BETTER WITH MEDS! ! I have never been able to keep a job, had a failed marriage and mine now is on the rocks! My husband refuses to see that my youngest may have ADD! and I will not let her hurt as I did growing up! Medication for ADD AND ADHD has had ALOT of myths told! Go in depth with your Dr and research it yourself before you give up on medication! I wish I had been able to be medicated throughout my school years growing up! I am creative, smart, funny and love people! But without medication it has left me with little accomplishments of my on and now I am 41 and don't really want to start going to college or start a new career! Had I been on the medication I am on NOW BACK THEN I COULD HAVE DONE ALOT DIFFERENT! And watch that program! "ADD Loving It" - may help! IT HELPED ME ALOT AFTER I CRIED FOR THREE DAYS BECAUSE I WISHED I COULD GO BACK TO MY CHILDHOOD AND KNOW THE THINGS THAT PROGRAM TOLD ME :-) God Bless

Paula - posted on 12/04/2011

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First of all, medication will NOT change his personality. My husband was very hesitant to put our son on meds for the same reason, but once we did, he was so glad we did. I have an older daughter with Aspergers, so I knew the benefits of meds, and understood the need for it. One thing our doctor and therapist said to my husband, was that by using prescription meds, is that our son would learn that prescriptions, when used correctly, will help him, and that he would be much less likely to self-medicate (street drugs) when he gets older. Meds have helped our son so much in school especially. He is able to focus, to be calm, and best of all, he has friends. He is the best reader in his entire first grade class, and I know that would not have been possible without meds. Also remember to stay calm, especially when he is not. You getting upset will just make him more so.

Stephanie - posted on 12/03/2011

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I'm one of those moms who thinks there are way too many medicated children out there. However, when my 7 year old son started getting in trouble at school everyday, I turned to his doctor for help. She diagnosed him with ADHD and prescribed a low dosage of Vyvanse. I hate the idea entirely, but who am I to stand in his way if it could help. The first day he took this pill, his teacher called me and she was so excited. He was focused on his work, he got everything done and didn't have to change his behavior color. It's been like that every day for 6 weeks. I only give him the meds for school. He doesn't take any meds on the weekends or days off school. On those days, I try to help him focus and listen other ways.

Deanna - posted on 12/01/2011

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I'm wondering what kind of food is he eating mostly? I know that a plant based diet will calm him down. I support you 100% in not giving him any medications. Eating the right foods will change him for the best. First try giving him freshly squeezed lemon in water first thing in the morning. If he needs to sweeten it just put honey in. I know first hand what happens when parents give a child med's. My brother's youngest boy was on them for years,now he's really messed up. He also lives on the street by choice.

Melissa - posted on 12/01/2011

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No one ever wants to medicate their kids, however, I have 2 Children who were diagnosed with ADHD and their medicine helped SO much. I was very skeptical about the meds, but my daughter who is 12 now was born at 26 weeks and out of all that could have gone wrong, the only thing we have had to deal with is the ADHD. I was at my wits end by the time she was 5-6. She too was mouthy, she would throw trantrums (sp). We did have her see a Behavioral therapist, which did AMAZING things for her but also put her on some meds. With both of those things, she got so much better. She is a Honor Roll student and now the only outburst she has are the "normal" teenage ones. The behavior list the therapist gave us worked great. My daughter had to find things to do when she felt mad, or upset that did not require her screaming and throwing a fit. Things like going to her room and yelling in a pillow, or just closing her door and doing something of her choice until she calmed down and was ready to behave. My 8yr old son also takes the same meds and they both still have their own personalaities and everything. It takes time to get the dosage right, and you will know if its not right. I learned that you do what is best for your kids, not what you think is right. If the meds help them to keep their attention and focus so they can do their best than so be it.

Angelique - posted on 12/01/2011

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Hi to all the moms out there, I wrote in on the 31/o5/ all so unsure and NOT wanting to medicate my son who is 6 years old . We did more tests got school report went back to the peditrition for more tests and sadly ,so I thought they all recomended We try medicate him and see how he copes and then we as parents decide what to do after the trial well today was the last day of the trial,And the school play were he had 3 lines to say, he did so well he could cope on the stage and remember everything even the other kids turns, where a week ago the head teacher was concedering taking him out of the play because he was out of hand couldent keep still stay quiet ectra. I must say eventhough we struggle to get him to sleep at night he is coping at school, can sit on the carpet with the other kids(not in the back on a chair) gets in less fights, he says he can do the things in computors better, he eats lunch at the table with the other kids not on a table allone in the corner. So mayby I was wronge in not wanting to medicate him , I still feel sad that hes like a labrat while we try to find what and how many tablets will help ,so for now Im doing this rout tried the other one, but unfortunatly all the things did not help at school only at home, but hes so smart but cant concetrate and all I want for him as a mother is for him to reach his full potential and to fit in with the other kids and for him to stop being singled out as the naughty kid, which was happening withall the other joys of ADHD. So I think I m starting to change my mind maybe we sometimes do need to medicate our children not because we struggle but because they are struggling.JUST A THOUGHT FROM A MOM WHO ALSO DIDNOT WANT TO MEDICATE, AND WHO HAS TRIED ALL THE OTHER TIPS AND IDEAS.

Siri Shakti - posted on 11/30/2011

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I understand what you are going through... I have a daughter with Aspergers, and over the year I've done lots and lots of research. With my discoveries I took our daughter out of public school, now she is home schooled and free to learn at her pace, and her style of learning. With homeschool we have a huge support system and it was THE best choice I ever made. The pressure is off of both of us, to meet up to some man made standards. I too thought of medication when she was young, but never again. I realize that this medication just covers up, and suppresses their gifts. I no longer call any of these things Disorders, instead they are higher orders. These children are coming into our world with a different energy, than us adults have. Humans are evolving and these children display attitudes and energy that is confusing to us at times. Yes my daughter needed to have boundaries, and learn that certain behavior was not cool. If I didn't demonstrate that to her, she would carry that behavior out into the world, get her ass handed to her and wonder, "Why didn't my mom tell me this behavior wasn't acceptable?" I make sure I am consistent with teaching her acceptable behavior, and make sure her school work is super creative, and goes at her pace. She is now 10, began reading at 9. In public school she would be so behind, but she has no idea that reading at 9 is late. She is confident! For you mothers worried about your children with Autism, Aspergers, ADHD, and so on... Try to see your child as being truly gifted, and you are the mother of your child for a reason and a purpose. You can help draw out their gifts, and don't be scared to set the standard in your home. When they feel that mom is ok, then they will feel ok. These children are highly intuitive and can feel your energy very strongly. Also check out a book called, "Children of the Now." This book talks about the clear evidence that humans are evolving and changing, that is a big reason that there is a huge rise in children labeled as having a disorder. That just means... this child is different than the old idea of normal. Much love, Siri Shakti

Krystyna - posted on 11/30/2011

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There has been a lot of research and evidence that diet plays a huge role in better contrilling ADHD or autism (feeding your child more natural foods rather than processed/packaged foods). I would definately look into that, as well as if you can, visit a naturopathic Dr. They test the childs tolerace to hundreds of common foods, and then give you a list of others that may help improve their condition. We did this with our son when he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at 5 yrs old. I know its very hard to change their habits/diets, but I firmly believe that our children are being "poisoned" by the overprocessed, packaged, fast foods that exist today. It is so evident because so many of these conditions rarely existed before, and now its as if there is an uncontrollable outbreak.
Good luck to you and your son. I truely hope that everything works out for the best for everyone's sake.

Carrie - posted on 11/29/2011

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Hey Jessica, I'm responding pretty late on this, but I wanted to give you my story. I had a kid that sounds a lot like yours, he was diagnosed late in the game and he suffered a lot throughout school. I also have a 9 year old who was diagnosed last year and I chose to medicate him right away. It has made a huge difference for him. If your kid had another sort of disorder you would give them the medication they needed right? I was not diagnosed with ADHD until I was an adult, I did horribly in school and suffered a lot academically, socially and emotionally. I can tell you that if I had taken the medication back then, it would have made a world of difference. It's not as bad as some people would make it seem. Unless you have been through it already, there is no way of knowing how difficult it can be for a parent of a child with ADHD and how difficult it can be FOR THE CHILD with ADHD. The medication actually made my child more outgoing because he was able to organize his thoughts and respond appropriately. It did not change his personality in a negative way at all. Good Luck.

Patrizia - posted on 11/23/2011

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I removed my 9-year old from private school last year because he was struggling & his teacher wanted me to medicate. Now, 14 months later I have a new child. Turns out he just didn't fit into the "system" and needed to move to learn. After changing teaching methods to THE WAY HE LEARNS, he is now making huge progress and has caught up most of his backlog. He's much more relaxed & no longer whining all the time. The "ADHD symptoms" were merely stress & frustration caused by an environment in which he couldn't adapt because his physical need to move wasn't met. This bookwas an absolute eye opener and in my opinion an absolute MUST read to all parents & educators, especially those with "labelled" kids The Fine Line between ADHD and Kinesthetic Learners: 197 Kinesthetic Activities to Quickly Improve Reading, Memory, and Learning in Just 10 Weeks: The ... for ADHD, ADD, and Kinesthetic Learners It's amazing to see what difference the environment can make. These books have helped me understand my child & enabled me to help him excel without medication.

Erin - posted on 11/18/2011

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L-Theanine is a homeopathic "medicine" found naturally in green tea. it is an amino acid. the link is for the one we use, tastes like tropical fruit. I give my son a quarter of a tablet every morning. (it is also great to take for yourself) Since I started giving this to him, it's like a light switch was flipped!

http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Factors-St...

Candice - posted on 11/15/2011

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Hi i had the same problem and i decided to give my son METHYLPHENIDATE HCI-DOUGLAS the dr has to prescribe it. but he is doing so much beta on these meds that when i do not give it he askes me that he wants to feel beta than yesterday. It just shows that he can feel that it does help him.
I hope this helps u!

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