School says my ADHD stepson has to be on his meds to attend

Amy - posted on 09/29/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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It has only been a few weeks since school started and he's already been suspended for kicking and spitting another child. Should we have to put him back on his meds or should the school need to understand where and why we don't want him back on the meds?

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Kaye - posted on 10/01/2009

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Whether public or private school system, your child is protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act. Formally request in writing to the county school board that your child be place on a 504 Plan, with an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan). It is his right as a disabled American. I have fought the school system for 3 years now,and you have to show them you will stand up to them. Your child is guaranteed FAPE (Free and Public Education) , also he may be protected under IDEA. Google these on your internet, and self educate! Self-education is the most important tool to use against the school system. They ARE NOT going to offer this advice or help. But once they know you are aware of the federal laws that protect your child, they may fall back off their stand and assist your child. Put EVERY request in writing and you can even mail it registered with return receipt to ensure proof of their receipt of your requests. Usually it is up to the Superintnedant of Education to place your child on a 504 Plan which protects and ensures the school will do what they are supposed to do for your child. It will be a long hard road, believe me, but not only your child, but his education depends on you. You are not your child's best advocate, you are your child's ONLY advocate. NEVER give up.... sit up at the Board of Education office and tell them you are not leaving until you speak with the Superintnedant. Call them ever hour until they will return your csall or speask with you. I have had to do this, and am still going through it. My son is 7, it has been 3 long years for me fighting, and I'm still fighting, but I am slowly accomplishing things one by one. Go to the monthly board meetings and sign up to speak at the meeting to address the board members. I have found that the school keeps things quiet from the school board office and the school board office keeps things quiet from the board members. If you need me, I am at riverrock206@yahoo.com.

Rabecca - posted on 10/01/2009

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I guess my though would be why are you not wanting to medicate if its because he was having negative side effects you need to have a real heart to heart with someone at the school let them know what you are trying and why .
If your son is having issues at school and has already been suspended you may need to come to terms with te fact that he needs something to help him because even though they cant deny him a education more than likely he wont be getting the education he deserves because I know from expereince when your son is out of the classroom and getting sent home they are not in that learning environment enough to learn much of anything and can quickly fall behind .
I dont know how old your son is mine is almost 9 and the frist couple years after he was DX we also did not medicate I just couldnt see giving my son medication everyday so we tried diet and suppliments and to a point they helped just not enough for him some improvment was made for him as far as his focus and hyperness but the agression was still there and the none stop talking and personal space issues school was just a nightmare for him he got extreme anxiety about school because he just felt like everday he was the was going to mess up and be humilated in front of his classmates by loseing his cool and then being sent out in front of it started tyo be a war to get him out he door each morning and his self confidence was basically as low as I could imagine kids knew he was the "bad" kid and really made him feel that way and my funny outgoing kid really started to intravert and become a very sullen and angry little boy I just knew I needed to do something he already was going to theripist and all sorts of behavioral management programs but once he was in a situation that was tough for him be it that he got mad sad anything that caused a real influx of emtion he just couldnt make the things he learned in therapy to action because it was kind of like those emtions would override his judement and leasons on what to do in thiose situations after the fact when he had a blow up of some kind he would feel so bad about himself and say the most awful things liek hes just to stuipd to act right ect.. even when I would give him pep talk on how smart and funny he is he just felt so bad that he messed up again .
At some point I just couldnt waltch him go down that road any longer we did no tchoice medication to make parenting easier or to help him get a good grades we choice it because it was best for him for his self asteem and his right to have the education he deserves because he just wasnt .
Today he a very happy well adjusted kid that feels so good that he can go to school and kids are nice to him and his teachers not fumming mad at him sending him to the resourse room because they just dont know what to do to make him listen he always been extremly smart but he can project that to others now we did have have to try 3 meds before we found one that really worked and dint cause any side effects ( 1 caused severe anger issues and major melt downs) but we have reaally come along way and I feel like I can breathe again I don tworry all day when hes at school or cringe when the phone rings my son comes home excited to tell me abou this day instead of crying to please don tmake him go back .
I guess what I am saying is really evaulate if you son is doing ok without the meds you are the parent and you know is spitting and kicking going to happen more than not and does he have an IEP in place at school to put into play if he needs some protection for his education because you just dont want him to never be there because they cant seem to figure him out and is he really getting better with what action you are taking improvent can be made without medication for some kids and behavioral therapy and counseling can go really far not all kids need medication and really you as the parent and your doctors need to make that choice and the school need to be a partner to find ways to help him without putting his education at risk which I know I went rounds with our school trying to get them to just remove him from the classroom for a very short time if he was having a problem and it was really hard to get through to them that he was not getting an education because of the numerous times he would get sent out of class for his behavior my son is really smart and places well ahead of his classmates and for him to have not been measuring up at one point was not my son intellegance but the lack of actual school he was attending because his actions there is a huge guilt that I carry because I eventhough I thought I was doing what was best for him by not medicating my son went though a very termatic time at school and he really did have some emtional scares left from that time hes not the same in some ways hes more shy and doesnt appraoch life with the same unbound enthusaim he did at once hes shown more of that in the last 6 months and I hope he will move past that as he grows and find that part of him again it's only a slight change but it hurts me to know that I eventhough my intention like most parents was to do whats best for my child just didnt understand that in his case medication was what was best and contiunes to inhance every aspect of his life .
sorry I know I have wrote a novel but I just wanted to add that my son while crazy and wild I always could get him to do what I needed at home because he felt safe and loved there and knew if he was being disaplined it was done out of love so I guess at first I didnt get the scope of his behavior at school how bad it could get and I was angry with the school because they just could get through to him but after along talk withhis doctor and therapist I just came to realize the little boy I had at home and the scared nervious kid he was at school were not a like and I couldnt stand by him all day at school to help him feel secure (which I did a few times to really see him and his action there) but he needed to find that within himself with encougagement and support but his symptoms are really environmental as far as being one way at home and one way at school and infact contray to what I was thinking at first he really did need medication we still do some natural things and diet such as no artifical dyes and we give him omgea 3 to help with brain fuction and his focus is so much better and now he can really use the tools he learns in therapy because his medication gives him that moment to collect himself and make the right choice in tough situations and hopefully as he grows and matures and has some lenghty history of great school work good dession making and learning bounderies he wont have to deal with medication as an adult because the best part of ADHD it doent have to be a lifetime sentance they really can learn to overcome it
sorry so wordy

Martha - posted on 09/29/2009

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I do not believe the school can make it manditory for your child to be on medication to attend, sounds like a lawsuit and a teacher who can not handle the class. If you took your child off meds to try something else or because of behaviors caused by them I would get a letter from the doctor stating what is going on. The school should be more understanding about what is going on with your child with this. Also they are only hurting your child by keeping him out of class. Again get a letter from your Doctor and see if that satisifies them, from my understanding they cannot force you to medicate your child and they cannot deny him an education either.. I hope this will be helpfull, just stick to your choices and do not let them force you to do what may be harmfull to your child as I do not know the full reasons of him being taken off his meds. God Bless, Matti

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