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Kathy - posted on 05/31/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

8

76

My son is ADHD he is 6 years old and is ADHD and is medicated (concerta) we recently had a hudge trama in my house as my mother just passed away a month ago. MY son was very close to her lately I have noticed his bahaviour changing drastically for example last week he took the scissors and cut off his hair I had to get his heas shaved as he made such a mess it couldn't be fixed. ON the weekend he lost his first tooth, and the tooth fairy came of course, however the next day he pulled out another tooth. He has never done this before, right now he is so angry I can't seem to get a handle on it.
When my mother died I got 2 ballons and 2 red roses and he let them go in honour of his grandmother I explained to him about the dying process, however my family didn't feel he was old enough to be at the funeral and thought that it would be to dramatic for him to handle so I don't feel that he had the closure that he needs .
I have put a call into his counsler and my pediatrican we have an apointment for both in 2 weeks time of course.
I feel terriable like a really bad mother that is not keeping a close enough eye on him however every time I turn my back he is doing something.
Any suggestions, is this normal ?

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Phyllis - posted on 06/01/2010

580

23

It sounds like a normal reaction to a big loss to me, whether he is ADHD or not. I also have a 6 year old on Concerta. Oddly, after he lost his first tooth, he immediately yanked out another one that was not ready the next day. Perhaps they are just morbidly curious on that score...lol. It sounds to me like you are doing all the right things, and lets face it - its not possible to police him every second, so do not be so hard on yourself. My son lost a grandmother and a couple pets, plus I miscarried a baby he was very excited about, all in 2 years. A child can take a very long time to deal with grief, and as long as you are there when he needs you (often at 2am) and maybe show him some alternate outlets for his very natural anger, you are doing well. Be firm about what ways it is ok to express his emotions and which ways are not. And do not be afraid to let him see your grief. He needs to know that its ok to be sad when we lose someone. I still cry over my Mom now and then after 3 years, and if my kids ask, I always explain why I'm crying. I hope this will help them feel freer to express themselves. message me if u need to talk. You are dealing with losing your mother as well, so don't forget to take care of YOU too!

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