My son was still born with Downs Syndrome, can you relate?

Heather - posted on 02/18/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I just found out yesterday that my son, who was stillborn three weeks ago, had Downs Snydrome. I have so many confliting feelings (you can read about them on my blog http://mystolenlight.blogspot.com/) and I was wondering if since 75% of babies with DS die before they're born, if there is anyone else who had a stillborn child with Downs and how they handled the news. I think people just expected me to be glad that he died since he was so handicapped, but I'm not. A Logan with Downs Syndrome is better than a dead Logan.

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Dena' - posted on 07/18/2010

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Oh Honey I feel for you and wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom to make you feel better but I dont. Just dont let other people dictate how you should feel. He was your baby boy and even if he had DS that doesnt make things any easier. Get mad if you want, cry when you feel like it, just dont hold in your emotions. And if people say something stupid to you tell them its stupid and it hurts. I hope things get easier for you. Should you need to talk you can always vent on here.

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I am so sorry for your loss. I dont think that anyone could or should be "glad" their baby has died - with DS or without. I agree that a lot of people when presented with the news of a miscarriage open their mouths without knowing what to say and then stick their feet in albeit not deliberately!

All I can hope is that you are blessed with another baby if that is what you choose, not to replace Logan, but as a baby in its own right and if it has DS, please don't worry, they give SO much more love to you that you could possibly give to them. Good Luck

Julie - posted on 01/17/2010

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I'm so sorry for your loss....I cannot imagine what you must be going through. Do know though, that kids with DS are just kids like everyone else. They do take longer to learn how to do things and some of them are born with health issues, but in the end, they are kids. My little Darcy is like Cris Nesbitt's little Maddie....people are drawn to him wherever we go and no-one ever leaves him without a huge smile on their face. He is the light of our lives and we wouldn't be without him. I too was shocked at the statistic you mentioned that 75% of babies with DS pass before their born...I did not know that stat. I wish you all the very best and hope to hear that you've had a little one very soon. God bless.....xxxxxxx

Sara - posted on 01/14/2010

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OMG!!!! I didnt know 75% dies b4 they were born!!! My daughter is 2 and she has Ds... shes delayed... but not 100% handicapped! U would always want to raise a handicapped child then not have one at ALL!!

Cris - posted on 04/18/2009

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You are so right. Unfortunately, people just don't know how to react. I had a miscarriage and people were the same way. They told me that it wasn't meant to be, there must have been something wrong with the baby. But it was still MY BABY! Your blog name, mystolenlight, couldn't be more true. People with Downs are the light of the world. Our Maddie is the sunshine of everyones day. She is 18 months old has been the biggest blessing of our lives. People are drawn to her no matter where we are. It is crazy. I am so sorry for you loss. My hope for you is that you do have another child and if you are luck enough, that child will have Downs as well. We should all have a little Downs in us.

Tammy - posted on 04/02/2009

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Im so sorry for your loss. I guess God wanted to keep his angel with him. He must have been xtra xtra special.

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