how can we deal

Brittney - posted on 01/17/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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so about 10 days ago my husband didnt come home for work i got worried he wrecked so i started calling around, i then got a text stating "im ok im leaving not talking bout it im done" when i tried to call back his phone was off i was devistated the next day i tricked him into coming over all he would say is its over he doesnt want to be married he doesnt want a family he doesnt want his kids ..the next day i tried again calling his phone alot finally a girl picked up turns out he was having an affair for months and i had no clue about it i thought we were happy but i guess not, when he came to pick up his stuff which i decided to let him have all he could say to us is its not your fault or hers its mine theres something wrong with me im sick...what ever that means.. he informed me on fb that we havent been happy for awhile and hes been trying to do this for awhile but i was ignoring it which was news to me, i found out he and this girl are doing some really nasty stuff like orgies and stuff he is now living with her at his grammas house he wants a divorce thats all he can talk about its aweful the kids and i are just devistated our happy little world has been destroyed it was 7 yrs of marriage and 8 yrs together my children are 7 and 4 my youngest she cant figure out why daddy wont come home i dont know how to help her cope with this when im having a terrible time myself all i can do is cry i cant sleep i can barely eat i just keep wondering what i did wrong ... we decided to move with my mom in another state for awhile bc i just cant be here watching them be happy and i have no support here .....anyone have advice on how to get us through this and how to help my poor babies through this ???????

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I thought I was reading my story. My ex was in the military and me and my kids moved back to where I consider home becuase he ws going to be retiring soon and my oldest was starting HS so didnt want to move him his Senior year. And neither of us was thrilled where he had orders. While unpacking I found some letters that he had been cheating on me before me moved. A couple months later he served me papers. I found out he wasnt happy for a long time and had several affairs over the last few years we were married. We were together for 18 years before I moved back to Ill. So he left me for one person and a year later he married someone else. There is a lot more and his actions hurt his kids more than he will ever know. My advice to you and your children seek counseling. I know it helped to have someone to talk to. It also helped my daughter who was turning 8 when this all happened. There was other issues but they need someone else besides mom to reassure them it is not mom's or their fault that daddy left. IF you can move back with your parents then do it. You need all the support you can get. But if D is where you are heading be sure to file where you are living expecially if he is going to be in a different state. You want things where you are residing. My ex strated precidings in AL and I got them moved to IL it took alot of work and extra lawyers to get that done. If you need any other advice let me know. Good luck. Amy

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