My Daughter Is Begging Me To Homeschool! What to do?

Jackie - posted on 03/27/2009

Hi Melissa,



I know you will find the right answer - God always provides!! I've read some of your posts and wanted to suggest the Maxwell's resources to you. I've borrowed a couple from a friend of mine and am looking to buy them for myself. They are a homeschooling family and have put together some advice and practical books for homeschoolers. They have Managers of Their Chores (establishing a chore system for kids) Managers of Their Homes (getting a good schedule to have at home), and Managers of Their Homeschool (having a good homeschooling system) as well as other books, dvd's and cd's.



I have found their information to be very helpful. As homeschooling moms, "school" is just part of the day and I am learning to teach my kids life skills - I never figured a 5 year old could fold laundry or that my 2 year old could fold the baby cloths, but now I know! :0) We do it together so we spend time together talking and the job gets done faster! I am learning that while I am responsible to teach them math, reading, science, etc..., I am also responsible to train them for life. Like someone else posted, I am learning with them too - in many areas!



Blessings to you!!

Melissa - posted on 03/22/2009

Hey Tammy!  It is so good to hear some of your advice as well!  It is so great to have a site like this!  I admire you for what you have done for your children!  It is such a scary step to take, but I know the Lord will help us all through everything!  I thank him so much for helping me everyday!  I know it might take some time for my daughter to just get it, but I go over the responsibilites that she must do in everyday life and that I too have resposibilites and we always will.  I will not give up on her.  I think she also takes pride in her appearance too but for her room forget it, I stay on top of her and tell her if she wants to get to go somewhere or have friends over she knows what to do with her room.  I know my daughter and she is so lazy!  I have put her through gymnastics which lastest two months because she hated being sore for stretching, she hates gym class.  I have put her through dance classes which did not last long either.  I think she enjoyed cheerleading in UPWARD but we took a break this year.  Upward was slow paced for her, which I know that is what she likes.  I do have another concern and that would be what the future holds for Homeschooling here in NC.  I had mentioned in an early statement in another email that the government/Satan is looking to try and be against homeschooling, but I should not just wait and see.  Again I think that she is in a wonderful private Christian School and I would hate to loose our spot, if something like that happened to Homeschooling here in my area.  I do need to do what is best for my daughter I am just hoping that she is wanting this for the right reasons.  Again, I just need to put my trust in what the Lord wants me to do.  I am so grateful for your suggestions on both of the programs, I need all the advice that I can get.  Love In Christ - Melissa - Feel Free to Contact me as well any time.  I love having new friends! 

Tammy - posted on 03/21/2009

Oh and I just read the part about your daughter crying with homework.  OH THE STRUGGLES we used to have!!  But, she was tired from being in school, and such a busy day, and so many other things going on, etc...  Now, our days are SOOOO stress-less!  We get started, she whizzes through some things, and then when something is hard, we take more time.  She was also so careless with her work before, and we have had time to work on the importance of neatness and taking pride in her work, which I have noticed has spilled over to every aspect of her life.  She keeps her room clean, has pride in her appearance, and even picks up after herself without being asked.  It has taught both my girls more responsibility.  I have found that they are actually smarter than I thought they were!  I think they got distracted a lot during school, and also their activities were disrupted by music, lunch, recess, P.E., etc.  Now when we start something, we finish it before moving on to something else and it really helps.  We can just focus on the way that they learn and their needs.  I can tailor their day to their needs. 

Tammy - posted on 03/21/2009

I just started homeschooling this year, but I was also homeschooled for 3 years in high school (back in the 80s) and I have A LOT of friends who homeschool as well.  My children have always attended a small private Christian school that used a combination of Bob Jones and ABeka, and both are extremely well established and very good.  Both companies are very well respected by schools as well as homeschoolers.  I feel both as an educator and as a mom that they do well to equip and challenge children academically.  However, I have two daughter (they are in 3rd and 2nd grades) and for my oldest daughter I have chosen Saxon math, which is more repetitive, just because she learns math concepts better with that curriculum.  My oldest daughter has always wanted to homeschool as well, but I always resisted because we LOVED our school and her friends and teachers, but she just likes to be at home.  I also think she thought it would be easier.  SHE WAS WRONG!!!  I eventually had to choose homeschool because my younger daughter developed chronic medical issues that prevented her from attending school.  She missed 66 days last year, and even though she completed her work at home, she was going to have to repeat 1st grade, but she was too smart for that.  Because of her doctor appointments and hospitalizations, homeschooling works for us now, but my oldest soon found out that I have MUCH higher expectations from her, and she is challenged way more at home.  Also, although we do not use them, ABeka has WONDERFUL DVDs, and Bob Jones also has a satellite feed you can purchase that is also wonderful.  However, ABeka's classroom video curriculum I THINK is the oldest and most tried and true.  You can also enroll your child in ABeka and send their tests etc. to them and they get report cards and school records, which helps if your state is kind of hard on the homeschooling rules.  Also, I am a single mom and we had to move in with my parents because of my child's medical problems, and there has not been any kind of negativity about homeschooling in my area.  If you would like to talk about this further just for some support or to vent, feel free to email me.  I know SO MANY people that know more about this, and I would be happy to help in any way I can.  BLESSINGS!!!

Melissa - posted on 03/21/2009

Amy, some great information on here.  Thank you all for letting me know some of the names of books you all use!  I have made notes on these items.  My daughter will be out of school at the end of May so I will do a lot of research from now through the summer.  I will have to go ahead and pay the fee to hold her spot for next school year just in case.  I told my daughter that she needs to prove to me that we can try to have better days at getting along with doing homework and with respect.  She really challenges me!  I have a 25 year old son and he did not do this to me.  I guess it must be a girl thing, and I do remember what it was like when I was younger, I gave my parents such a hard time.  My dad laughs and jokes and tells me that what comes around goes around.  I am glad that he has forgiven me! LOL!  I know that my daughter and I will get through this and I am sure we will go through some ups and downs, but she knows that I love her and wants what is best for her.  I would never put her in publics schools, and I pray that the government will stay out of our lives with trying to raise our children and what we as Christians knows whats best for our children.  Here in NC I read an article where a NC mom is going through a divorce and the judge is going to make her STOP HOMESCHOOLING and put her daughter in Public Schools because of her husbands rebellion against her.  That makes me really nervous because I fear that the government going against the Christians and Homeschooling.  I am praying about that situation too.  Thank you all for your kindness!  Love In Christ Melissa

Amy - posted on 03/19/2009

Hi Melissa,

We use workbooks for the most part. And yes there are days that my daughter cries over having to do school work. She gets very frustrated and I don't always know how to explain it better. We have good days and not so good days. The nice thing is you can drop what is frustrating her til the next day if you need to. However, I agree she must treat you with respect. I tell me daughter that it is OK to be frustrated and not understand, but that doesn't mean she gets to be disrespectful to me. We don't use one curriculum, we use whatever works. Here's a sample of what we use:

Just Write!

A Reason for Handwriting

Singapore Math

Spelling Workout

History of the World (occasionally)

S&S Learning (for Socials and Science units)

Canada Map Books (we are in Canada)

There are so many options out there. AS much as I can I like to pass things on to my next kids (I have 4 between the ages of 3-8). I also believe that it is good for them to have their own workbooks. So resource materials and worksheets I photocopy, but for spelling/handwriting/math/just write books, they use their own books. Most of these are not too expensive. I also recognize that my kids are individuals and what works for one won't always work for the others, and if something is not working-stop using it! It is good to chat with you. Blessings Amy

Melissa - posted on 03/19/2009

Liz, thank you so much for the wonderful advice.  You, are right God does love me and he did choose me to be a mommy and he thinks that I am good enough, but that bad old Satan tries to crip in my mind.  I have heard that I need not worry either, because you also have the teachers book that tells you the answer too, but I just want the best for my daughter, like most all of us.  Do you ever have your child just hate doing the work with you and crying over it?  That frustrates me so!!  She gives me such a hard time with just doing her homework.  I tell my daughter, if you want me to homeschool you, you must do your homework with me, with respect,  before I make my decesion.  I need to have more patience too!  I would love for this to work out for the both of us.  I wish that she was not so lazy either.  I pray a lot!  Thank you again for your wonderful advice too!  Love In Christ,  Melissa

Liz - posted on 03/19/2009

Okay- first of all YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH to teach your child. Someone told me one time that I am the the only mother that God wanted my children to have. That made such an impression on me b/c I was/am fully convinced that God wants me to homeschool, therefore, I must be "good enough." What I have found in my 5 years expreience is that NO- I do not know everything I want my kids to know. The beautiful thing is- I'm learning right along with them. I am a product of public school and a graduate of a state university and yet- I still learn from my 3rd and 5th graders curriculum every day! I LOVE IT!! I think what you will find is that your daughter will flourish in a non-stressful environment. (as we all do!) My advice is to go to a curriculum fair, ask other homeschoolers what works for them (write down everything they say then check it out for yourself), check out the websites of curriculum you are interested in and just dive right in. Don't feel like you have to stick with any curriculum that isn't working. I've been known to throw a workbook in the trash if it becomes obvious that my child isn't learning from it. I recommend reading "Every Child Has a Thinking Style" just to get an idea of how your child learns, then choose stuff based on what you think she will enjoy. Here's what we use- we don't do ALL of these every day, but this is what we cover in a week's time:

Math-U-See

Handwriting without Tears

Spelling Power

The Story of the World (history)

English from the Roots Up (greek/latin)

Exploring Creation (science)

Bible

Just Write! (creative writing)

Melissa - posted on 03/18/2009

Amy, thank you so much for your kind words and understanding.  Our daughters do sound a lot alike!  My daughter too has trouble with subtracting and memorizing multiplications tables.  But I do have to admit something, my daughter is very lazy which does not help at all.  When we do homework she gives me a hard time, she even use to cry tears!  Lately it has gotten somewhat better, but I will not give up on her.  I do pray a lot!  I am an older parent, and some times I feel so overwhelmed with aggravation with her not respecting me and giving me such a hard time with homework, learning and studying.  Do other parents get this from their children, all the complaining too?  I really do like the idea of your own pace and you are finished a lot sooner than them staying in school all day.  Do you teach with the books or DVD's?  I am praying and I know that God will provide me with the answer he always does, in his timing.  Thank you so much Amy for the information.  Love In Christ  Melissa W.

Amy - posted on 03/18/2009

I have to say, first don't forget to pray about it. I am sure you have been. My daughter is also in third grade and hates school. This is our second year homeschooling. While you don't do less work, you do get it done faster for the most part and at your own pace. So if she is feeling overwhelmed in Math you can slow down and make sure she really "gets it" before moving on. My daughter struggles with adding/subtracting, but flies through fractions! Go figure! 

Your daughter may value her "alone" time and feel that she has to be "on" at school all the time. This was a problem for my daughter. She needs peace and quiet quite often, so in school with lots of kids 6 hours a day was very stressful for her and actually inhibited her learning. 

This really just my experience as I don't know your daughter, but I do know that if you choose to homeschool, GOD will equip you. I am not a perfect teacher by far, but my children seem to be surviving it! and even thriving in it! 

If you and your daughter both like the Bob Jones Curriculum I know you can buy it as a homeschool curriculum and it would provide a continuity for her education.