18 Ways a Wife May be the Glory of Her Husband

Rebekah - posted on 07/09/2009 ( 37 moms have responded )

1,441

19

176

1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?"
2. Ask your husband, "How can I help you accomplish these goals?"
3. Ask your husband, "Is there anything that I can do differently that would make it easier for you?"
4. Be organized with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry and cooking. As you fulfill your God-given responsibilities, your husband is then free to do his work.
5. Save some of your energy every day for him.
6. Put him first over the children, your parents, friends, job, ladies' Bible studies, etc.
7. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.
8. Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.
9. Do whatever you can to make him look good, to accomplish his goals. Some examples are offer to run errands for him, organize you day to be available to help him with his projects, pray for him and make good suggestions. Give him the freedom not to use your suggestion, and do not be offended if he does not follow it.
10. Consider his work (job, goals, hobbies, work for the Lord, etc.) as more important than your own.
11. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish goals. Examples are get up early in the mornings to help him get of to work having had a good breakfast and making him lunch, take care in recording phone messages for him, anticipate any needs he may have in order to attain a specific goal, and keep careful records of money spent to keep up with the budget.
12. Consider the things that you are involved in. How do they glorify your husband? Ask his guidance.
13. Be warm and gracious to his family and friends. Make your commitment to him obvious to them.
14. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.
15. Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to your husband.
16. When your husband sins, reprove him privately and gently, always giving him hope and pointing him to the Lord.
17. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry.
18. Realize that just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, your husband is glorified when you obey your husband.

Excerpted from the book, "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Lnzjean - posted on 06/03/2012

1

0

0

This is so sad to see perfectly good female minds go to waste on things like this. Glorify your husband by making sure he feels taken care of in every sense but lose your mind, body and soul doing it; meanwhile know that you are not equal to him. You ladies need to speed up to the times and quit living in the dark ages.

Happy - posted on 06/03/2012

341

0

44

I respectfully disagree with you Cyndel. I think this list is spot on! In accordance with Proverbs 31 and Ephesians 5.

BTW, I do not get the feeling from this list that a wife's identity is IN your husband but in your service and submission for him, it is, doing as God commands is always the right way.

User - posted on 06/03/2012

2

0

0

If my son ever expected this from his partner, I would be too ashamed to share it! Just so sad, l am blessed to have a Christian mother that was educated enough to teach me my worth or my worth was not wrapped up with my husband, but rather in my own walk with God.

Cyndel - posted on 06/03/2012

754

24

43

Um yeah not a fan of the Pearls. (BTW if it works for you great, but hubby and I saw some glaring biblical misinterpretations that really bothered us. Here is an accumulation of what one man saw in the book that didn't correlate with the bible, http://createdtobehelpmeet.blogspot.com/)

and neither is my husband.

HE says that the Pearls make the woman nearly a slave to her husband, elevates him to near equality to God (a weight which no man can hold up under), gives him too much license to abuse her, lays his sin at her feet, tells her to never confront him in sin (unless he is sexually abusing the children and a very few other instances), etc...this from my husband.

He says it make the man look weak and very childish with his wife in a submissive, permissive, mothers role.

I happen to agree with him. We are equal in our marriage, if we don't agree on something we both separately go to the holy spirit and if we hear 2 different things someone heard wrong and we go back, in the end we both here the same thing from the holy spirit and continue together equal brother and sister in Christ. Oh and we both agree that no job or project of his is more important than raising our children together as an equal force, supporting each other, neither of us correct each others parenting in front of the kids, we wait until later, pray about it and come up with a better solution for the next time, Together.

I don't try to rule over him and he loves me in the self sacrificing way Christ loves the church. We have a wonderful marriage.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

37 Comments

View replies by

Carla - posted on 06/04/2012

4,287

83

120

Okay, ladies, this is an old post, things are getting a bit disrespectful, so I am closing the thread.

We may not always agree with what one of our Sisters in Christ have to say, but they have the right to say it, and to feel comfortable in our Community to say it.

God bless, all.

Angela - posted on 06/04/2012

2,433

9

321

This is, at least, not from the dreadful Pearls! The fact it's a female author is very telling though.

I was an individual before I met my husband, I sincerely hope I'm still a person in my own right.


These are the only 3 items on the list that I always do - regularly and without fail:

* Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.
* Be warm and gracious to his family and friends. Make your commitment to him obvious to them.
* Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.

He has affirmed that he loves me the way I am. He helps me with the things that are important to me. His own job, is, to quote him "just a job". He's always keen to help me with my job which he states is a vocation.

He told me when we first met that he was NOT the kind of guy who wanted to be the "boss" in a relationship. But we both lead in the areas we are better at! I can lean on him.

We're very happy as we are.

Cyndel - posted on 06/03/2012

754

24

43

Nope Happy Mama,
However your identity can't be in your husband, the fact that you are a wife.
Statistically your husband will die before you. What will you be then? Where is your identity? Buried under 6 feet of dirt.
Our identity can ONLY come from Christ! Or it is a flickering shadow and we are lost.

Our husband should NEVER come before our children. As husband and wife you normally would have agreed to bring our children into this world knowing that you would be sacrificing many things you want, and much of your time in pleasure of hobbies and each other to raise these children healthy, loved, and knowing The Father. If a man expects to be put first above his children's needs (at young ages, need and want are synonymous) he is not the loving father he should be. We are to be to our children an example of what The Father is to us, and He gave up every comfort and desire to be with us and have a relationship with us.

Those are just a couple of issues I have with the above list.
The list is not all bad by any stretch there is much good in it...but there are some dangerous undercurrents in the spirit of the list that need to be identified and carefully avoided

Happy - posted on 06/03/2012

341

0

44

Seriously Jaime! I guess Proverbs 31 and Ephesians 5 are for us uneducated folks?

[deleted account]

Jodie, I hear you! After reading Created to be His Helpmeet, I understood the message, but putting it into practice took some time. I started by being submissive out of obedience - not desire :0). God blessed my obedience and started giving me a desire to serve my husband - to be a godly wife and mother. I can honestly say that I now have great joy in my role as my husband's helpmeet and the days that I struggle, I am praying like a mad woman! :0) You can do it Jodie!! Your family will be blessed by your obedience and I am going to pray that you will see the amazing joy that God will bring to you and your family as you step out in faith.

Jodie - posted on 07/13/2009

26

15

1

Im going to try and put this into practice.... and see where it takes me. It goes against the grain in some ways living in the 21st century, yet i see the merits...and Im sure if I was the husband, if I saw more of this in my wife, it could only improve my opinion and relationship with her, therefore I am going to try. LOrd help me I sure cant do this on my own!!!

Jessica - posted on 07/13/2009

2

14

0

I love this!! Its totally true. You have to be submissive to your husband.

Angela - posted on 07/13/2009

162

59

16

Isn't it amazing that the harder I try to be a Godly wife & show him respect, the better our marriage is ?!!! The more I give to Him in these areas the more love I get in return from my husband!! It's so fulfilling for me, but more than that, guys! We are showing our sons & daughters how their marriages are suppose to be!! My hope & prayer is that this will be a healthy cycle that we are starting in our family & future generations!!

[deleted account]

I know what you mean, Nicole. I really enjoy reading and I really like Created, but it had so much in it, that it took a while to read and digest it all. I'm looking forward to reading it again in the fall. I hope your move goes smoothly!!

[deleted account]

Jackie, that's a good book!!! Once my husband and I move, I'm hoping to get it out of storage and be able to read it through completely. : )

[deleted account]

I've appreciated reading your posts. I read a couple of years ago (I probably need a refresher :0)) Created To Be His Helpmeet and it radically changed our marriage as I finally realized what it meant to be a godly wife, woman and mother. I am thankful to hear that there are many other women who find joy in our roles as submissive wives. We're not crazy, we're blessed! :0)

[deleted account]

I only read a few chapters and then figured I had the basics down. Things in my life got a little chaotic and I knew that if I just memorized Eph 5:33 I'd be on the right track. : )

Rebekah - posted on 07/13/2009

1,441

19

176

Quoting Nicole:

Something people don't often consider is that God commands a wife to respect her husband, rather than to love him. Though he needs love, he thrives on respect. Women are not naturally inclined to respect as much as they naturally love (which is why they are the best home makers and raisers of children, just as God designed). On the contrary, men are commanded to love their wives because it's a challenge for them. They are naturally desiring respect, so they are naturally more eager to show it. While we both need both to live, when a husband loves his wife, he shows respect, and when wife respects her husband she shows that she loves him. Pretty darn cool if ya ask me!


So true! Did you read the book "Love and Respect"?

[deleted account]

Something people don't often consider is that God commands a wife to respect her husband, rather than to love him. Though he needs love, he thrives on respect. Women are not naturally inclined to respect as much as they naturally love (which is why they are the best home makers and raisers of children, just as God designed). On the contrary, men are commanded to love their wives because it's a challenge for them. They are naturally desiring respect, so they are naturally more eager to show it. While we both need both to live, when a husband loves his wife, he shows respect, and when wife respects her husband she shows that she loves him. Pretty darn cool if ya ask me!

Laura - posted on 07/13/2009

8

10

1

I love these principles! I also love that the Bible says a man should love his wife as Christ loves the church. So, it's a two-way street, but in everything sometimes you do 90% and he does 10% and vice versa. I read a great book about praying for your husband that had some of the same ideas.

Rabecca - posted on 07/13/2009

520

15

70

Quoting Clanger:

what happens if he isnt saved how does this work then???



Our role as believers is to be faithful to what we know is true and right according to his word that is our role and we will be rewarded for doing that the way that others repond to our actions is up to them and God we can only control  our own actions

[deleted account]

Quoting Rebekah:



Quoting Maureen:

Isn't this book from the 1950's ?? It sounds like it. And where are the guidelines in how a husband can be the glory of his spouse ?





Maureen,






No, the book is not from the 1950's, actually written in 1999.  But the concept of the book goes WAY beyond 1950, it's actually a Biblical standard.  And guidelines on a husband being the glory of his wife? I'm not sure how to answer that question... from what I've seen in the Bible, husbands are the male headship.





Thank you Rebekah for writing that. To understand God's heart is to submit to His authority first. He does know best. As a wife, we need to understand that as we desire to be loved above all things, our husband needs to be respected by us, no matter how much we don't think he deserves it. God has placed a man over a woman just as Christ is over the church, with the goal of loving us, and loving his children. The Bible says that the wife IS the glory of her husband. That is a compliment to a wife. The Bible also says that it's not good for man to be alone and that a man should find favor with God for having a godly wife. Being a godly wife is all about knowing where our place is. While society would say that men are not pulling their weight, it must also say that women are not giving them the chance to. If we treat our husbands the way God intends, our husbands will respond with Godliness. I know many women who have problems with that because they think if the man has screwed up, the man should fix it first. That's trying to take control. God tells us that He opposes the proud though, and gives grace to the humble. (there is pride in trying to take control of something that's not in your hands completely. I hope you can see that.) Maureen, I think the most satisfaction you'll find from your husband (since you were asking how he can be the glory of YOU) is when you do your job as aGodly wife correctly and he follows suit. Spend more time encouraging him and being patience when he does something you don't want him to do. More time in prayer, less time in contempt and complaints. This is a general response. Of course, I know nothing of your marriage. This is what I know the Bible backs up though. I encourage you to do some studying and have some serious one on one time with God to find out why God designed things the way He did. I'm sure you'll be relieved once you understand it all. Understanding is key, because without it, you'll think your ways are right. The Bible talks about that too... but that's another topic.



 



Hope this helps.

Rebekah - posted on 07/11/2009

1,441

19

176

Quoting Clanger:

what happens if he isnt saved how does this work then???


The ultimate goal of a wife is to still bring honor and glory to God, and a wife does this by fulfilling her God-given role as a wife - to love her husband.



Here's an excerpt again from the book, touching exactly on this subject:



"The question always come up, what if you husband is not a Christian? What if he is not glorifying the Lord? I'm reminded of a story that my grandmother told me once about her parents.  There were born around the time of the Civil War.  Apparently, her mother was a Christian and her father was now.  Reflecting back, my grandmother told how her mother always wanted to please him.  In order to please her husband, she was gentle and kind, and cooperated in all of the many relocation moves they made.  Her usual answer when he requested something was, "Yes, Dad".  She did not complain or grumble.  She seemed to go gladly along with him in his plans.  Even when she differed, she still respectfully supported him.  I asked my grandmother, "How did your father treat your mother?" and she said, "He ADORED her".  Well, my great-grandfather may not have glorified Christ but my great-grandmother did by magnifying her husband, by living out the role that God intended for her.  A special blessing for her was how her husband treated her and loved her.  You see, a Christian woman can do the right thing and fulfill her God-given role regardless of whether her husband fulfills his own."



A wife is still to be submissive to her husband EVEN if her husband is not a Christian.  "In the same way you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior." 1 Peter 3:1-2



A husband who is "disobedient to the word" is an unbeliever (See 1 Peter 2:7).  When a Christian woman is married to an unbeliever, her responsibility is to live a godly life and respond to her husband with respect.  Her attitude should be one of being FOR him and not against him.  She should enjoy him and love him, thinking of him as her husband and the father of her children, not her enemy.  She should not expect him to think or act like a Christian not should she be devastated if he has no interest in church or Bible studies.  She can enjoy her husband and their relationship and still be all that God intends for her to be.



Sometimes, the wife of an unsaved husband is miserable and frustrated because she may have an idolatrous view of what she thinks her marriage should be like.  She might say to herself, "I'll never be happy unless he becomes a Christian."  Her frustration may be the result of not getting what she wants.  Instead of being frustrated, her heart's devotion should turn from idol of wanting a Christian marriage to devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ in worshipping and serving Him.  He alone knows if, when, and how her husband will become a Christian.



As the wife of an unsaved man devotes herself to the Lord, she will respond to her husband with "chaste and respectful behavior".  It is very likely that her godliness and respect to him will soften his heart towards her.  If it does not and his heart becomes hardened, she may be put in a position where she must "let the unbeliever depart" (1 Cor. 7:15).  If he does leaver her, it should be because of her submissive, respectful attitude and appropriate refusal to sin, not because she nagged and was disrespectful and rebellious.



A few years ago, I knew a Christian woman who was in a very stormy marriage with an unbeliever.  Probably just as much of the problem was her fault as his.  When she stopped contending with God because of her husband's attitudes and submitted to God in this area of her life, her husband began to treat her a little better.  Later, they discovered that she had terminal cancer.  As they went through her illness together, he saw her draw tremendous strength and comfort from God and His Word.  One day, he came to her with tears in his eyes and asked her forgiveness and expressed an interest in becoming a Christian.  She lovingly gave him the gospel, and they knelt together by their bed, where she led him to her Lord.  She is with the Lord now and I think about her often.  I am so glad for her that she had that joy before she died.  She obeyed her Lord and was "ready always to give an account of the hope that was in her" (1 Peter 3:15).



In addition to being ready to share her faith if her husband asks her, the wife of an unbeliever should graciously go places with him and his friends, but draw the line a personal sins such as getting drunk, lying, sexual sin, etc.  If she must decline, she should do it graciously by saying, for example, "Thank you for including me but that's not something I can participate in.  Perhaps we could... (go bowling or out to eat)." That way she is letting him know should would like to be with him.  Also, if she prepares ahead of time some interesting topics to discuss, then the conversation could, at time, be discreetly moved away from unrighteous topics without her appearing to be self-righteous and making him uncomfortable.  She can prepare conversation topics ahead of time by reading and remembering the essence of magazine articles and newspaper articles that are interesting and not offensive to her husband or his friends.  In addition to showing love to others, her efforts could make all the difference in whether she has a good time or not.  Certainly, this would be a gracious way to show love to her husband and his friends.



 



I grew up in a home with a mother that was saved and my father was an atheist, believed in absolutely nothing.  My mother's quiet, meek, and submissive spirit is what won my dad to the Lord.  It took time for my dad to learn things, for he got saved when I was 5 years old and now I'm 27 and I'm just now seeing the fruit in my dad's life and my parents' marriage come to pass.  Personally, seeing this growing up, I truly believe that if a woman submits to her role and loves her husband unconditionally and respects him wholeheartedly she can win her husband to the Lord.  Being in this situation, just means you need to practice patience more, be prayerful in EVERYthing, and if you have kids cover them in prayer too, for God will give wisdom and guidance to you that will be acceptable and pleasing to your husband to follow through with.  You just have to remember that ultimately you are to please God, and as a wife you do that by submitting to your husband even if he does not fulfill his role - because he will one day.

[deleted account]

Wonderful list! It is hard for me to have time for anything much besides my kids, since they are 3, 2, and 6 mo, but I fix his lunch every night for work the next day, and set up the coffeemaker for him too. Even then I am so often scatterbrained, and I forget to actually put the coffee grounds in or something!

I love how #15 says "in a manner that is PLEASING TO YOUR HUSBAND". My husband does not like makeup, so he is happier when I don't wear it!

We have had a hard time, married five years, separated once, filed divorce once, and dealt with so many issues, but God never fails to show us and encourage us on restoring our relationship and growing it stronger! Thanks for sharing.

Rabecca - posted on 07/10/2009

520

15

70

I know for alot of women I know they would be like what ??? But it is biblical principals to submit to your husbands and really I have found when you do so you are rewared in huge ways its not like you have to lose yourself but its serving your husband serving your family and the more you do so the more they serve you I know who I am in my marriage and I know that my husband would lay down his life for me no question about it he loves me like christ loves his church and yes there are guildlines for husbands too and the have a definat role to protect and provide and to love us adn with men sometimes they dont start on there path until we show them the way frist

Rebekah - posted on 07/10/2009

1,441

19

176

Quoting Maureen:

Isn't this book from the 1950's ?? It sounds like it. And where are the guidelines in how a husband can be the glory of his spouse ?


Maureen,



No, the book is not from the 1950's, actually written in 1999.  But the concept of the book goes WAY beyond 1950, it's actually a Biblical standard.  And guidelines on a husband being the glory of his wife? I'm not sure how to answer that question... from what I've seen in the Bible, husbands are the male headship.

Maureen - posted on 07/10/2009

230

7

15

My partner and I support each other and have a fabulous relationship. We honor each other as indviduals and together.

Heather - posted on 07/10/2009

4,634

42

1135

Wonderful Rebekah! I learned most of this while going through a 30 day true woman challenge with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. It was wonderful! For anyone interested the website is truewoman.com

Maureen, the Bible teaches us to honor our husbands and to be submissive to him. We can do this in many different ways. The Bible does say that the husband should also love and provide for the wife. The Promise Keepers are actually doing their seminar on that this year. We are all to first and foremost serve God, and his word tells us to serve our husbands. By serving them we are serving God.

Maureen - posted on 07/10/2009

230

7

15

Isn't this book from the 1950's ?? It sounds like it. And where are the guidelines in how a husband can be the glory of his spouse ?

Zimmersgirl - posted on 07/09/2009

776

24

103

Awesome list. A friend also blogged on honoring our husbands with similar things just the other day. :) Glad to see Godly women speaking up about this!

Anne - posted on 07/09/2009

2,759

82

625

Rebekah I know there some that would say that these ideas are out of touch with todays world. And there are if a person has a Secular World View. But NOT out of touch for a person that has a Biblical World View.

The most romantic thing I can do for my husband and he for me, Is to but God First and to Love God more than our spouse.

thank You for the reminders.

Candice - posted on 07/09/2009

2

2

1

I love this! Thank-you so much. It's nice to meet another submissive wife. Our society pushes for women to be 'strong', but it takes more strength (GOD strength) to be submissive than it does to be assertive! =)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms