Advice for a new mom on the newborn phase

Amber - posted on 12/12/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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First off I want to say how blessed I am to have my daughter. She is such a good baby. I love being a mother(my daughter will be 3 weeks tomorrow), but I have always found newborns to be a bit intimidating. I am having a hard time adjusting to the newborn phase and was wondering if anyone had some advice that they could share with me. I am a first time mom and my husband and I planned our pregnancy. I am having a dificult time adjusting though. How long does the newborn stage last and any advice on how to work through it?

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Rebekah - posted on 12/15/2011

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I wish I had advice for you, but now that I have a 3 year old, I'd rather have the newborn phase back - it was MUCH easier! :)

All I can say is ENJOY it!!! I know you lose sleep, I know it's hard to find that "groove" - but I can't say it's any easier when they can crawl, walk, or talk. It's a learning experience. The best advice for you is this - PRAY!!! God knows what you need and what your baby needs - depend on Him to lead you, guide you, and help you accomplish what needs to be done in a day.

This verse has helped me through so MANY things, and the newborn phase and the crawling phase and the walking phase and the toddler phase and now the preschool phase:

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3

Just wake up in the morning and pray to God over everything you need to accomplish, then give it to Him and watch Him unfold your day in front of you! :)

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Kelina - posted on 12/17/2011

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adjusting to having a new baby is difficult. It's no longer about you now it's all about her. It's difficult enough when you make that transition from single to wife, it's even harder I found to make the transition from wife to mom. I remember when I first had my son wondering what on earth I was supposed to do with him. He couldn't smile, couldn't giggle, all he did was cry, poop and sleep. I didn't know what I was doing and then I'd hand him off to my MIL or my mom and they'd seem so at ease. While I felt terrified. What if I dropped him? was I spending enough time with him? what am I supposed to DO with him, it's not like he can play games! I never really did find the answers but i tried my hardest to be the best mom I could be. I played peek a boo, and learned nursery rhymes. i blew rasberries while I did diaper changes. It about killled me that when my son did start laughing, I couldn't make him laugh. It was only daddy he'd laugh for. But even with how difficult it was, I kept trying, kept learning, sometimes I think I learnt as much that first year as he did. i learned that having a spotless house is not necessary. I learned that no matter how hard I tried, my change table was not going to get used once he learned to roll. I learned that no matter how prepared I thought I was, nothing could have prepared me. And I learned that asking for help was not a thing of evil. Congratulations on your little girl, I hope her first year is as good for you as my sons was for me.

Carla - posted on 12/13/2011

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Ditto Linda. Remember to thoroughly burp her. Sometimes they have trouble getting the air bubbles out of their tummy, and this hurts! They can't talk, so they cry and show you through body language. If she squirms around, brings her knees up to her chest and cries, she has another burp down there somewhere. I sit my little nephew on my knee, support his head and back, and gently lay him flat across my lap, then bring him back up into a sitting position, bending him forward a little bit. It's kind of like the Heimlich maneuver, baby style. It always brings the air to the surface. You have to remember that for 9 months, she's been warm (98.6 degrees), fed constantly, wasn't sitting in poopy diapers, was used to being in 'the fetal position', etc. Swaddle her (wrap her snugly in a receiving blanket) to imitate the cramped quarters she left.

Think of her as an adult that can't talk. YOU don't want to be hungry, YOU don't want to sit in wet or poopy diapers, YOU don't want to be cold, think of the discomfort when you have to burp, etc.

This is the bonding time, for both of you. Whisper to her as you change her, as you feed her, 'Mommy's right here, Mommy will keep you safe' things like that. Tell her how thrilled you and Daddy are to have her in your life. Tell her of God's love. Words have great influence, and whether they understand exactly what you are saying, they are identifying your voice, your smell, your face, and your voice will telegraph many things to her. She will sense your discomfort and be upset and fussy, or she will 'hear' your words of love and peace. God gives mothers that innate sense of knowing what to do, and what we don't know, that's why He gave us mothers and grandmothers and wonderful older mothers on Circle of Moms ;)

You're doing fine, honey, keep your cool, pray for wisdom to raise your baby to love God. And may He bless you abundantly!

Linda - posted on 12/12/2011

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Amber, I'm sure very few of us had any experience with newborns when our first baby was born...but don't worry. You can do it! Really, all you have to do for the first year is love your baby and keep her alive! :) Get as much rest as you can...sleep when the baby sleeps. This is not the time to try to have an immaculate house. When your daughter wakes at night, feed her quietly with the lights low and don't make a lot of noise. I used to simply scoop the baby up from the bassinet and put him next to me and nurse him and doze at the same time. When my baby was done, I put him back in his bassinet. Don't let the baby sleep for more than 3 hours during the day. Love your baby; hold her; comfort her when she cries; change her diaper (A LOT in the beginning); burp her, feed her. That's pretty much the whole deal. Treasure these moments...you'll want to remember them when the time comes to discipline! :)

Amber - posted on 12/12/2011

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I guess that I am just having a little trouble transitioning into motherhood. I am not sure on what to do with newborns. I am doing the best that I know how, but I still feel totally lost. I need all the advice I can get. how to calm them when they are crying, best way to get the night and days down( I know that they are babies and do require regular feedings) but mine likes to sleep all day and play at night. I guess as much help as can be given. I joke with my husband and tell him if I could give birth to a 3 month old then I would know what to do =] I just feel lost...In total love with my baby, but no real experience with newborns.

Carla - posted on 12/12/2011

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What exactly are you referring to, Amber? In order to give you good advice, we'd like to have as much info as possible.

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