Anyone else have Santaless Christmas'? How do you tell your family/in laws your kids dont believe in santa?

[deleted account] ( 31 moms have responded )

Tonight I was nervous for the first time in a long time, tonight I did something a lot of Christians don't do.. Tonight I sat my son {5years old} down and told him Santa wasn't true. I went against using the word "Real" because at one stage he was a real man but as with all of mankind (including Jesus) he passed on. We live to die.. I explained that it is how we choose to live our life here on earth that determines whether or not we go to Heaven. That the reason we had our "Jesus Day" today was because Christmas was in fact Jesus' Birthday and not about a merry man sneaking down chimneys! I was pleasantly surprised with his reaction, my five year old didn't question me.. He just believed it. No second guessing, no arguing about reindeer or elves.. It was absolute.



This year and every other year from this day forward, we are going to pay our respects to the one who gave us everlasting life, the one who created the world and everything in it, the one who created us! It's not going to be easy but you know what? We have a wonderful God to Glorify!



Does anyone else have have Santaless Christmas'?



How do you tell your family/in laws your kids dont believe in santa?



Melissa {Australia}

Blog:http://melissanevaehjiedyn.blogspot.com

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Rebekah - posted on 11/22/2011

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Yes, completely Santaless in my home.

I have banned all shows that promote Santa as well as books. I have read the real story of Saint Nicholas to my son, and we call every person in a "red" suit "Saint Nicholas". I have explained to my son that Saint Nicholas lived a long time ago and is dead now, but the spirit of giving lives on, that's why we see "Saint Nicholas" every where.

I teach my son through the Christmas tree about Jesus. I have bought the Snappy Nativity Builder to teach about Jesus' birth.

We even "decommercialized" our Christmas... we are only giving 3 gifts - something of want, something of need, and something of spiritual growth. Just as Jesus ONLY received 3 gifts with meaning to each, we will do the same in our house. It really made Christmas shopping more enjoyable! :)

Anna - posted on 12/02/2011

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Because of my religious beliefs I do not celebrate Christmas, I have a 5 year old son my husband and I told him that there is no Santa and that Jesus was not born on December 25th as is stated. We let him know not to tell his friends at school that there is no Santa let them find out for themselves. My in-laws knows of our belief and they accepts it.

Linda - posted on 11/24/2011

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We don't emphasize Santa in our home--Jesus is the reason for the season. However, we don't ban mention of him either. We talk about the original Saint Nicholas, and we sometimes watch the Christmas specials--but he's like any other story/movie. Not true, but a cute story. Our kids never believed there was a real Santa--but I've also told them not to spoil it for other children who do believe. Most of our focus during the Christmas season is at church---caroling, Christmas program with the Sunday School....and this year Christmas is on Sunday! :)

Cyndel - posted on 12/11/2011

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We don't believe in Santa here, but he isn't fully banned...I used to pretend to believe because it was fun to think about.
But St Nicholas was a man fully in love with Jesus, he gave to people around him out of his spiritual gift of generosity, one story of his generosity is a poor man had three daughters with no doweries...they were about to be sold into slavery as they had no prospects for husbands, but Mysteriously on three different occasions a bag of gold was thrown through the window and landed on some socks that were drying in front of the fire, providing the much needed dowries.
Any way, St Nicholas was a man who loves Jesus, lived his life wholly for the glory of God. He would be heart broken and saddened at how his life testimony has been mangled...which is why I don't refer to Santa as St Nicholas, Santa is a fictitious fun character, St Nicholas was a man who loved God and lived his life wholly for His glory.

Debbie - posted on 11/28/2011

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Since my daughters were old enough to understand, I explained that "santa" was part of the christmas tradition that people celebrated, but he was not a real person. They know the real reason we celebrate Christmas is because it is Jesus' birthday. No one in my family had a problem with it at all, and they are not all christians. I didn't take christmas away from my girls, I just explained the real reason behind the season. Which made it even more special for all of us.
"Who" santa is, is a joke in our home on christmas morning as even my daughters pretend to be santa to each other with stocking stuffer presents.

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Anne - posted on 01/11/2012

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Because Christmas is past I am going to close this thread. Thank you for everyone that responded.

Karen - posted on 01/03/2012

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We were convicted about 22 years ago with our 4th child newly born that we were doing wrong to teach this lie. We told them the truth, that Christ is the focus of Christmas. They already new that but we did not ever do Santa again. We told them to tell other children that we dont do Santa because mama and daddy like to buy their gifts. My children never missed it.

Crystal - posted on 12/30/2011

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I'm so glad to see that so many people don't celebrate Santa! And most people aren't offended when you tell them you don't...at least for me. But I have to make one comment, I see no reason to hate Santa--I hate what the world has made Christmas, and Santa (St. Nicholas) into. But Santa comes from the word Saint (nothing to do with Satan)...St. Nicholas was a real person who shared gifts with people--there's not a thing wrong with that. Of course, what this holiday has turned into is proposterous...but we can continue to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior as well as respect those who celebrate Santa, by sharing the true Christmas story as well as the background of St. Nicholas and why we choose to celebrate Christ instead of St. Nicholas.

Victoria - posted on 12/17/2011

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We've never done santa in our home. we just tell people we don't celebrate santa, we celebrate Christ. Just like I refuse to say Happy Holidays, I say Merry Christmas.

My family didn't understand at first, they would say ah it's harmless, just innocent fun, but the way we feel is that lying to our kids isn't innocent fun, no matter what. A lie is a lie & God said in his word that all liars go to the same place & that satan is the father of lies.

For me to tell my kids that some strange man comes down the chimney & leaves gift for them at Christmas, well that would be a big fat lie, how then can I truly teach my kids not to lie.

God is a good God & he will honour you for this, he will give you strength to share your faith with others even using we don't celebrate santa at Christmas as a door to speaking his truth to someone else.

Bless you honey.

Heather - posted on 12/12/2011

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Just ask God for strength and stand in faith,this is a great way to witness to your family!! Tell them you do not believe in lieing to your kids and that you refuse to do this.We will have to answer to god when we get to heaven if we make little ones stumble becasue of us.You are doing the right thing and have made the right choice!!!! If you change the letters around in the word,Santa is spells out SATAN!!! He only wants to giude people away from the real reason we celebrate holidays like, Christmas substituting Jesus Christ for SANTA and Easter/ the Jesus christ for the bunny.And what about holoween? Did God make this holiday? Would HEWANT US TO CELEBRATE SATANS HOLIDAY?SERIOUSLY? This is giving satan a foothold in our lives,but yet everyone does it,we celebrate satan on holoween,this is just some food for thought.HOpe this helps,I pray for you that God will Help you and give you the srtength to do the right thing HE WANTS YOU TO DOOOO!!! Ask god for strength and wisdom to say and do the right things and that HE will give you the right words to say!!,(do this now ahead of time and keep praying until then that God will use you as a light with CHRIST SHINING THROUGH YOU!!He will help you!!! You Just have to have faith that God will,and if your faith is weak ask God to help your unbelief,just like doubting Thomas who said he refused to believe that was Jesus who was raised from the dead,he said he would not believe until he saw the nails in His hands and feet and the whole in his side.Jesus apeared to them and showed Thomas his wholes in His hands ,feet,and side!! THen Thomas believed that was Jesus!! He can help us too and has help my little faith grow into BIG faith!!! When we are seriously 100 % giving HIM ALL OF US GOD WILL MAKE VERYTHING ELASE FALL INTO PLACE IN OUR LIVES!! GOD WILL ALWAYS PROVIDE IN EVERY AREA IN OUR LIVES NO MATTER WHAT!! WE JUST NEED TO BELIEVE EVEN WITH FAITH AS SMALL AS A MUSTARD SEED!!god is SOOOOOO AWSOME AND ALWAYS PROVIDES WHEN WE NEED IT!!GOD IS ALWAYS ON TIME HES NEVER LATE WITH HIS BLESSINGS!!!LOve ya,Your sister in CHRIST,Heather Michaelsen.

Frances - posted on 12/12/2011

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I grew up with a Santaless Christmas and I passed it on to my children. My mother and brother lived way out in the country back in the 40's and were taught to believe in Santa. My mother was nearly a teen before she found out that he wasn't real. She felt that her parents had been lying to her all those years and she vowed not to teach her kids about Santa. She said she thought as a child that Santa was for the children and Jesus was for the adults.

Melissa - posted on 12/11/2011

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I am not doing santa and I don't care what anyone else thinks. My mother in law was like what about when he goes to school, what about the other children? But I don't care about the other children I care about mine. I don't want to lie to him, I was him to know the true meaning of Christmas, Christ's Mass. HIS birth, not some fat man coming down a chimney we don't even have to leave presents that I paid for! We are going to Church on CHRISTmas!

Annie - posted on 12/09/2011

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Blessings - just be careful abt using Santa giving gifts to compare with God giving us gifts. A huge difference is Santa bringing gifts to GOOD boys and girls..

Blessings - posted on 12/08/2011

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My kids know from young that there are no Santa Claus but there is such a person name St. NIck who wants to bless the poor and reward good behavior. But I share with them that Santa is just a 'picture' of how good and giving our Father God is to His children. He loves to give good gift because He is a giving God and on the day of Christmas, He gave Jesus and together with Jesus we also have all the gifts that comes with it. In that way, you will be pointing them back to Jesus and the importance of celebrating Jesus.
Hope that helps.

God Bless!

Angela - posted on 12/07/2011

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Hi again Melissa, may I quote part of your question to you - "How do you tell your family/in laws your kids don't believe in Santa?"

My answer to that would be to let your children say so for themselves! Do children who don't believe in Santa have any the less a joyful Christmas?

Some parents are insistent that Santa is necessary for a child to enjoy the "magic" of Christmas. I rather suspect that the "magic" of a child believing in Santa is something which the adults (rather than the kids) enjoy, are amused by and entertained by.

Christmas joy is not about Santa really, it's about Jesus. And even children who don't appreciate that Jesus is the centre of Christmas still like getting presents just as much as those who believe in Santa (or, just as much as they did at a younger age when they themselves believed in Santa).

I don't think that Santa is really as important to children as he is to adults. Your children's grandparents (whether they're your own parents or your in-laws) who protest about your child knowing the "truth" about Santa are really complaining that THEY lose out on the joy and fun of interacting with a child who believes in Santa.

That's what I believe, anyway!

Rebecca - posted on 12/01/2011

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My daughter is three now and I have been telling my family and In-laws that we are not doing Santa. It is not the reason for the holiday and I don't believe in lying to my child. I have no problem with the real story of St. Nick, but I will not tell her there is a fat man in a red suit that flies around with reindeer delivering gifts made by elves. How ever recently I discovered that my mom while babysitting has been filling her head with the untrue stories and I am having a hard time explaining to my daughter that it is just a story and Santa does not exists.

Annie - posted on 12/01/2011

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We also have Santaless Christmases. Grandparents were not too excited about that, but they got over it. We do watch some Santa movies and stuff. My kids just basically view him as they do Mickey Mouse or Chuck-E-Cheese, I guess. They used to be uncomfortable when people asked what Santa was bringing them. Now they just name off some toy they like and move on. They just don't think anything of it.

Tamitha - posted on 11/29/2011

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I don't know if you are a Veggie Tales fan, but they have a movie called Saint Nick that explains who the real man was and how his giving started because of his love for Christ. It explains the story well and ours the emphasis on Jesus where it belongs. We don't do Santa, so my 5 year old sings Santa songs he learns at school but doesn't believe in him.

Crystal - posted on 11/29/2011

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I've enjoyed these responses so much! Great ideas! I am a new mother, and when I told my parents I didn't want to do Santa, they were offended and horrified! My dad insisted I was depriving my daughter of the magic of make-believe; me, an artist and teacher who is a huge advocate for imagination/make-believe! Anyway, I'm rambling...I am struggling a lot with the whole thing. My daugher is only 11 months this year, but when she gets older...I fear what's to come with my family and the battle of 'Santa'. As some of you know, my husband is in prison currently-and he supports me on this decision; he actually inspired it!- so it makes it doubly hard to stand up to my parents, my family who is helping me so so so very much during this hard time in my life! Anyway, I'm just thankful to know there are so many out there who share my beliefs! Melissa, keep it up! This may not be the actual time Jesus was born, but we can still designate Christmas day as a time to celebrate it!

Debbie - posted on 11/28/2011

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My girls did tell others when they started school :) but I had a chat with them and explained that some people really believe in Santa and until their mamma's tell them, they shouldnt either.

Liz - posted on 11/28/2011

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I wanted to go with that with my one year old raise her not to believe in santa but my partner has told his kids there is a santa and if I tell my lil girl what I want then she'll tell her siblings then they'll go crying to daddy and he will have a go at me. So am stuck but I support you all the way. We do still say about Jesus but santa has to get inovolved.

Brooke - posted on 11/27/2011

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Hey Melissa! I think it's awesome that you told your son the truth. My daughter is 4 and has never believed in Santa. I started out telling her his real story and explaining what Christmas is really about, Christ. We still do "Santa" gifts on Christmas morning....it was a childhood tradition for me but for her all it really means are big gifts on Christmas day. This year she is fully aware of the needs of others and hasn't really been asking for a lot... she wants keeps asking to help someone else. The plan is to team up with other single parents and adopt a kid or kids through World Vision. We're also going to volunteer on Christmas day. I think You took a wonderful step with your son...knowing that Christmas is all about Christ and serving others changes their perspective and helps them to grow into godly men and women.

As for how did I break it to the fam.... I just told them straight up this is what I was going to do with her... they protested and complained but I was firm. I made sure they understood my reasoning and they had to accept it. I explained simply that Yes Santa is fun but what our children believe of him is a myth.... in truth he was just a man with a big heart who helped some orphans... He served God by taking care of His children. If Nicholas story is to be told it should be that. I don't want to worry that my child doubts God because I lied about Santa Clause. We don't do the Easter Bunny either. I do however make sure and tell Ruth not to ruin things for other children. I don't want a bunch of angry parents calling me so I tell her simply... Ruth I am telling you the truth but some parents pretend with their children and don't want them to know the truth just yet... so please don't tell them there is no Santa Clause... their Mommy's and Daddy's will when their ready. I haven't had any issues as of yet. She still takes pics with Santa every year but its all for fun... and all through the season on Christmas Eve we read from the Bible and children's books about the birth of Christ. She loves it. For anyone with girls a favorite of ours is "The Little Shepherd Girl" by Juliann Henry and Jim Madsen.

Hope all is well and thanks for the good post... Excellent topic =)

Heather - posted on 11/27/2011

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We don't do Santa either. I have handled it many different ways over the years. When possible a simple "We don't do Santa" is what I aim for. But I do go into more detail when questioned... and my list of reasons is LONG! I actually blog about it each year for those who are interested in the reasons and such. It is such a touchy subject though, and can easily get out of hand if we aren't careful. My Dad really doesn't agree with us not having Santa in our home, and other people have expressed hurt because they feel that we judge them for doing so (which we don't). The best thing to do is handle it with truth, grace, and love. Remain humble while standing your ground.

Beth - posted on 11/27/2011

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I grew up knowing about Santa Claus, but my parent's never celebrated him. All presents were from them not Santa. My husband's parents were the opposite, in fact they still insist on asking us what Santa brought us. After many discussions, we decided to keep Christmas as celebrating Jesus. If we want to (which probably won't), we may do St. Nicolas Day.

This year I am starting a tradition of doing a Jesse Tree-an Advent Devotional that starts in the Old Testament through Jesus' birth showing how the Jesus story is weaved through out the OT. Everyday has a Scripture reading, devotional thought, prayer and action.
Another thing I may start is doing a blessing blanket. Cutting quilt blocks/squares and every time we catch someone in the family doing a blessing to Jesus a square gets put in the manger. Then Christmas Eve, you sew the squares together to make a blanket to swaddle baby Jesus on Christmas morning. Then on Christmas Day, pack up a hot meal and find a homeless person and give them a meal and the blanket.

[deleted account]

We're christian but don't celebrate any 'christian' holidays, including christmas, harvest festival and easter. So no santa, trees or fruitful bunnies! It's clear that Jesus was not born in the month of December though I do not judge others that still celebrate, our family (husband & I) feel that not celebrating Christmas is the right thing to do for our family. We DO however BIBLICAL festivals that are commanded. We have so much fun celebrating all of them, some of them we even dress up. Our daughter has never felt like she's missing out and she knows about the birth and more so the death and resurrection of Jesus.

Now that you have the background... It was VERY difficult telling inlaws and family since it wasn't just santa, it was the whole holiday but mainly their trees, going into debt to buy us stuff we didn't want, bickering and the stress. Inlaws still send christmas and even halloween stuff to our daughter. Even though we have the conversation multiple times a year, yes multiple times a year doesn't matter if it's June.

We sat down with my inlaws and over the phone with my mom (knowing she'd go beserk) to tell them that we were done with xmas and our reasoning. It helps for both of you to be firm and unwavering. And depending on your family then you may need to be prepared for hard facts, so you may want a print out with bullet notes!!

Telling a 5 year old about santa I don't think is a big deal, if your family/inlaws are christian they should understand. If they're not christian, then it's good for them to see where you stand in your beliefs.

Hope it goes well!

Deborah - posted on 11/27/2011

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I have grown up with a santaless christmas and so has my daughter who's presently 5. It was very easy to avoid the santa discussion because we don't encourage santa to begin with. No decorations, cookies n milk etc so it's very easy for her to not believe in santa. Don't start it if you have to stop it is a very easy solution to me.

Alana - posted on 11/26/2011

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we dont do santa..my kids willl see santa in the shop and they know who he is..but they dont associate the whole 'santa' thing with him, I dont have any problem telling people we dont do santa...i just tell them that we celebrate Jesus birthday..

Teresa - posted on 11/25/2011

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Sorry. We are a Santa household. My son will tell you that Christmas is Jesus" birthday. He will, like I did, learn what it really means. Yeah it' when we celebrate jesus' birthday but Easter is a BIGGER lesson to learn. God's giift is more fully appreciated when you know what that baby was born for.

Angela - posted on 11/23/2011

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I don't get why you were "pleasantly surprised" because he accepted that the Santa legend wasn't true. Children are shrewder than you give them credit for! He's one-up now on all his peer group who are still naive enough to believe in Santa. More grown-up & more worldly wise. Well done for telling him! Why should he argue about reindeer or elves? They're even more mythical than Santa himself!

Some people like to keep their kids babies for too long. But most children are aware and only keep up the pretence to satisfy parents. Some children even PRETEND they still believe in Santa because they fear their parents won't supply gifts at Christmas - as unfortunately some parents insist on it.

Santa Claus (sometimes known as Father Christmas in the UK) is 10% based on St. Nicholas, a Christian saint from many years ago, who helped the needy. He's another 10% based on "Yule Father" a revered figure in Norse & pagan mythology who reputedly gave gifts during the winter solstice period and he's 80% based on modern, commercial materialism. Christmas for many has ceased to be a religious feast, it's Big Business in the Western World!

The spirit of Christmas still thrives despite the over-commercialisation of Christmas. It really IS a season of goodwill and underneath all the glitter, artificial snow and twinkly lights people continue to embrace the first and greatest Christmas gift ever given. God's gift of His Son to people on Earth.

Keri - posted on 11/22/2011

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We do not celbrate "Santa" in Christmas, but my children know He was a man that lived and his story. But I also let my children know they are not to tell their friends Santa isn't real. It is not a sin to have a little fun, and I do not deem it my place to ruin other families fun and traditions. We do put up a Christmas tree, and we do give gifts, because we celebrate Jesus' birth (though Christmas isn't His REAL birthday, simply the day it is celebrated) and Jesus received gifts, and God gives us gifts everyday! As far as my family/in-laws, they respect our beliefs, and when an adult mentions Santa, my kids let them know He isn't alive (I do not mind them telling adults) Santa isn't banned from my home, because he showed God's love through his life by giving gifts to children. We use him as a teaching tool to show generosity, and spread God's love.

Jeanine - posted on 11/22/2011

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Exellent explanation! We are also not going to have any santa's at christmas! We are not even going to have a tree! I do agree its about Jesus, not about some man in a red suit!

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