Believer/Non-believer issues.......

Sarah - posted on 02/16/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have been a Christian since Oct. of 2008. My husband on the other hand, hasn't. We have 4 daughters under age 8...and my issue is that I don't believe in Halloween, b/c I feel its just another rediculous holiday for evil-doers. I also don't believe in Easter, because in my opinion, the Easter Bunny represents fertility (Pagan) and the collecting of eggs. Also, the definition of "Easter" is along the lines (correct me if I'm wrong) of Pagan orgies....so I don't do Easter. I do Passover. I also don't really want to do Christmas either b/c of the Santa thing....
My problem is that my hubby doesn't see anything wrong with none of them. He thinks it's "fun" for the kids and he always ends up having the last say in it....I hate giving in b/c I know it goes against what God says....so how do I express my views without any huge arguements arising? His family is also the same way.....and I feel singled out. I really want to raise my kids right...but how can I when my beliefs aren't even considered? Is anyone else having the same issue? I just feel alone in this.....anyone have any advice?

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Jennifer - posted on 02/17/2011

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Both my husband and I are Christians, yet we do Halloween, the Easter bunny and Santa Claus. We just make sure that the kids know that Halloween is just a fun time to dress up (no bad costumes), Easter is really about the resurrection of Christ and that Christmas is really about the birth of our Savior. It balances out nicely for us :)

I don't necessarily think it's a big deal to let your kids participate in those things as long as they know what the true meaning is. Christmas isn't about presents, it's about Jesus. Easter isn't about eggs, it's about Christ being born again. And Halloween can be bad, but if you use it to dress up as something good (maybe encourage the children to dress up as their favorite of God's creations -- animals, plants, etc) I don't know that it is particularly harmful :)

Alexandra - posted on 02/16/2011

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Reach a compromise with your husband. He agrees not to make faces, put up a fuss or persuade the children not to listen when you teach them the true meaning of Easter and Christmas...and you allow the children to celebrate Halloween (just no ghosts, goblins, witches, vampires or other scary outfits).

One issue you might raise with your husband is the mixed message you send children by allowing them to go to strangers houses begging for candy. As parents, we are supposed to teach our kids not to take candy from strangers or go over to their houses...instead, maybe your family could host a Harvest/Fall party for the children'ts friends at your house...so the kids don't feel like they miss out and they can be under your supervision and not out all night knocking on doors.

If it were me, I'd flat out TELL him: They are my children to, and if I want to teach them my beliefs, I will. If he wants you to respect him, he needs to do the same for you. And I'd tell the rest of the family that as well. If they have a problem with it, that's their problem, not yours.

Pat - posted on 02/16/2011

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yes you are right in the origins of the holidays, but you can also use them as an opportunity to celebrate Jesus. In a divided house, it is going to be even harder to reach an agreement, and although i understand why you dont want to celebrate, read stories on the resurrection, which is what we celebrate now, make the holidays about Jesus..I struggle too, i dont like halloween.. so we do stuff at church so the kids can dress up, because that is all most people see it as anyway. Christmas? nativity stories...talking about the best gift ever, Jesus coming here for us. You can make it work without a lot of compromise. i hope your husband becomes a christian...keep praying, I do understand. my mom and dad and brother and family are not bible beleivers, they are all catholics, and they dont see any issues with it, so they of course promote the secular stance on everything..i just make sure that my girls know why as a christian we celebrate certain things... hope it works out for you

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Sarah - posted on 02/17/2011

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Thanks for the feedback. Well, I am just very firm in my beliefs. I do not believe in participating in the 'secular/pagan' holidays just because the rest of the world does. God doesn't like that. So, you guys have just cleared it up for me. I will NOT let my children be confused if I were to let them do both....I was brought up that way and I always felt it was wrong....so I'm raising mine right, and I am going to have a good long conversation about this with my husband. Thanks again.

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