breastfeeding in church

Victoria - posted on 09/05/2010

This conversation has gotten heated, cooled down again, gone up & down a whole bunch, so as to keep it from getting into any form of a debate, I believe it's time to close the conversation.

Thank you for everybody's input, I trust it was useful. May God bless you all richly.

Rebecca - posted on 09/05/2010

@Teresa: Yes, we all tend to get passionate sometimes, don't we?! I find it interesting how we all have such differing opinions about so many different things, but isn't that wonderful that we can all think differently, but still love each other and honor God? :-) And you know, it's not that I think it's wrong, but I'M more comfortable when I don't BF in church. I think there are probably churches where it is more accepted or less accepted, but I can't really imagine most churches MAKING you leave. Although I told you our church has a place we can go, I wouldn't mind if I saw someone nursing in the sanctuary. I've never seen it though...so they must be discreet! LOL We have some people who bring their kids in, and occasionally I hear giggles or "Shh" from mom, or dropping things...that doesn't really bother me either. The only thing with kids or babies that does bother me is when they are starting to cry or fuss to the extent of being rather disruptive, and at that point I wish they would take the kid outside to either discipline or comfort them. But that rarely happens in my church.

Sorry, I really got off topic there! I guess I was just basically talking about distractions that happen during worship. I think if we can all keep in mind that others are there to worship God, and respect their reverent time with Him, then we can make our decisions accordingly. That may mean BF-ing in church but taking the baby out if s/he becomes upset, or that may mean you choose to BF in a mother's room. I think when we pray on these things, the Lord will convict us so that we will know what is acceptable for that particular situation. Really, no right or wrong answer, just lots of opinions! The only thing I am adamant on is being modest...with or without a cover or blanket, as long as you aren't exposed, I'm okay with that.

Teresa - posted on 09/05/2010

Oh, I wasn't just referring to you Rebecca... I just see SO many posts all over the boards that say breastfeeding in public is fine as long as you use a cover, throw a blanket over the kids head, etc... and it just gets to me. Granted, it may be easier for me since I'm quite small chested and I understand that not everyone CAN nurse discreetly w/out using an actual cover, but that doesn't automatically mean that someone not using a cover is being exposed inappropriately. :)

I'm quite passionate about this subject (though not nearly as passionate as some), but also very modest. I never even fathomed that it wouldn't be 'acceptable' to some people to not nurse in a church until I read the 'Breastfeeding in Church' OP on Breastfeeding Moms...... ;)

Rebecca - posted on 09/05/2010

@Teresa: I hadn't thought about it that way. I said use a cover, but I certainly didn't mean you had to purchase a cover...I mean, I didn't think about how that sounded like it was the only way to be modest. I've nursed without a cover with certain clothing that was designed for BF, or with a light blanket over the baby...I guess what I mean is if you are not exposed, then you are being modest, no matter how you choose to "cover up." I have a babydoll top that I can just put his head under, and you can't even see my stomach or any skin whatsoever, so I get your point.

Teresa - posted on 09/05/2010

You can be covered up w/out ever using an actual cover up. I don't understand how so many people can think that just because you aren't using an actual cover that you are not being completely modest and appropriate...

Rebecca - posted on 09/05/2010

@Karen: I will answer your question by going through a few scenarios...

We have a nursery with sound, but no nursing room (one coming soon with our new building project, yea!). I nursed in the nursery between Sunday School and Church (the church service was about an hour, so he could normally go that long). If there was no sound to hear the church service and the service was longer than an hour, you could pump milk to give in a bottle. If there is no nursery in your church, then nurse with a cover in the sanctuary. Or slip into an empty Sunday School classroom nearby. I'm not telling you that you have to do this, I'm just going through my train of thought, the way I would problem solve this situation.

I stand by my first post that I feel it can be distracting and that's why I don't BF in the service, but there are many churches that don't mind if moms do it, so do it! My church doesn't have a policy against it, but in practice that's what we do because the church has provided another place for us to go.

I don't think it's WRONG to BF in church, but when you can leave, or make other accommodations, such as pumping and giving to the nursery, then that would be my choice. If you choose to BF in the service, I still think you should cover up at all times. But I think that anywhere in public for our own modesty and for the courtesy of others.

Naomi - posted on 09/05/2010

when i had my daughter (4 years ago)... i always left went into another room... since then, i have seen sooooo many other moms stay put, with a cover and feed their babies. It's wonderful and when i have my next i will try that. There is no rule that you have to cover-up... i just think most mom's feel more comfortable that way. And there are so many awesome looking covers now... they have come along way in the last 4 years!

Dianna - posted on 09/05/2010

In my churches (pre move strict pentecostal, new non-denominational) we breastfed in the rear with a cover, or cover optional in the nursery, which has the service wired in. I dont remember hearing it as a rule in either, but saw it practiced. Not sure where all the sexual/nonsexual/teenage boy drama is coming from, but any discussions we had on it, the concensus was that it was distracting, not quite modest, and unnecessary to interrupt anothers worship w/my childs feeding. Church service is 3 hours tops, and I wouldnt want to steal a second from my fellow parishners. Oppinions are what was asked for here, mine is more in wonderment of why baby feeding is being used as a tool to force others into accepting your belief in breast feeding as non-sexual exposure. In agreement with Wendy, bfing is about the baby, & bonding while feeding, being out of the middle gives more opportunity to pay attention to baby. So long as my child can eat, I dont see the need to throw her in everyones face as a platform. I wouldn't pull out her babyfood or a bottle in the main sanctuary either- would still feed where it wasn't a potential distraction. Be blessed all.

Wendy - posted on 09/05/2010

I have read alot of the replies and I think I agree with most of the privacy people. I go to a church where we have a nursing mothers room wired for sound. In leiu of that the nursery. Your number one reason for BFing is baby. Somewhere you can give that child your attention. If your worried about offending people you could affect your milk production (stress can reduce it). So do what you feel comfortable with. If you worry about the other people then BF in private.
-non denominational church

Karen - posted on 09/05/2010

Okay, so what does a mom do when there isn't a special room and when the baby will not breastfeed with a cover?

Rachel - posted on 09/05/2010

I don't think anyone at my church would have a problem with nursing during the service, but they have special rooms just for nursing with a tv so that you can keep watching the service. It's a large Baptist Church.

Dara - posted on 09/05/2010

I have breastfed both my children, and when I attended church I always went into a room specifically for breastfeeding mothers. I also always used a cover. I don't think it should be shameful to nourish your baby in public, but I do think a mother should cover up. There are many people who are uncomfortable seeing a woman breastfeeding, and it's important to be sensitive to them. I have breastfed in public several times, and in front of the opposite sex, but always covered up. I have never exposed myself in front of people, and generally, when covered, people don't seem to have a problem. In church, I think it is just courteous to take your baby and feed them elsewhere. You wouldn't break out a meal for yourself in the middle of a sermon, right? Breastfeeding is a natural thing to do, and it saddens me that people have a problem when women do it in public, but again, it's important to be sensitive and cover up. I don't go to church any more, but when I did it was a Victory church.

Chris - posted on 09/05/2010

I never had a problem breastfeeding (covered) in church, however, I was asked to leave a department store where I was breastfeeding my 4 month old daughter in the sitting area of the restroom. Although I was covered, it seems that the 12-year-old son of the manager who preferred the women's room to the men's room knew what I was doing, was offended and told him mom. She came in and asked me to leave. So I went out into the mall and breastfed in the center court. I was asked to leave there as well, so I went out and breastfed in my car (Chicago in December). A security guard knocked on the window and threatened to have me arrested for public indecency. This was 1981... I think we've come a long way since then... but I would still cover up in public. I'm not offended when people don't though.

We have a private room for ladies who want to use it, but we have others who BF in the sanctuary. Some use covers, some don't, but all are discrete about it. Church of the Nazarene.

Jill - posted on 09/05/2010

Chris ... i knew someone would know the answer to that.... Mary definetely would of been discrete about breastfeeding.... Amen to that

Chris - posted on 09/05/2010

Mary would not have been visible to men while seated in the synagogue. She would have been banished with all the other women to the sides of the synagogue behind a screen while the men worshiped in the main part of the room.

Cassandra - posted on 09/05/2010

My children are 27,26,15 and 9 and I nursed all till they were weaned.i went to work and church ( Methodist) and as long as I was covered I was fine,no stares,frowns or snid comments

Teresa - posted on 09/04/2010

I go to a non-denominational Christian church.

As I said in that post, I have nursed my son (now 2.5 years old) in church every week since he was born. I did use a cover a handful of times in the beginning just because I was getting used to nursing in public. I always sit in the back of my church, but that is because that is where I sit anyway. :) No one has ever said a word to me about it. Nursing in church is now the only public place we still nurse. It's our 'ritual'. ;)

Carla - posted on 09/04/2010

The comment about teenage boys with hormones came from raising a son in church (now in his 40s) and now grandsons. I have attended church most of my 60 years and never once saw a woman BF in the sanctuary. Come to think of it, I don't remember seeing other women BF except my mother, in the privacy of our home. And I am sorry if I offended you in suggesting you express a bottle for such circumstances.

Paul was a stickler on modesty for women. We are to clothe ourselves so as not to be revealing. Men do not view BF the way women do. I believe we have to do everything in our power to conduct ourselves in a manner that does not cause a thought that could distract from the message.

The question was asked, I answered. I'm sorry it caused such controversy.

God bless

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/04/2010

Ann, I am so sorry my comment was so blunt, I meant more to say that when moms have two working breasts then I think god would want them to use them. It was a direct response to the comment about me pumping milk to take to church. I definately understand some moms truly can't breastfeed like your case, or a mom I know with a double mastectomy. And other reasons too like HIV etc. So I am glad you are a levelheaded sister to not be offended. Thanks for pointing out my insensitive comment :) god bless you for trying so hard to breastfeed!

Chidinma - posted on 09/04/2010

Hi Laura, i attend a pentecostal church and i'm a believer. My church has a room strictly for nursing mothers. There you can breastfeed, change diapers and generally soothe your baby when he/she becomes fussy. I think its ok to respect other peoples sensibilities, especially about seeing breast in public places. But if there's no provision for nursing mothers in a church, then using a cover might be very ok.

Alisha - posted on 09/03/2010

Yea I also don't quite know where the teenage boy thing was going. If anything they would just steer clear of breastfeeding moms and it may be awkward or else they don't even notice.

Alisha - posted on 09/03/2010

My church doesn't have rules on it. But if women do nurse they usually are towards the back and covered up. Just because a baby's hungry doesn't mean the mom should miss out on the church service! My church is non-denominational and I don't think anyone is offended if nothing is showing at my church.

Karen - posted on 09/03/2010

I have recently been thinking about this situation since I've just changed churches. The old had a "cry" room - for babies and moms to go to if necessary - and this is where I went to breastfeed. The new church does not have one of these rooms. So, what will I do with my next child?
I will breastfeed in a discrete location - probably the back, uncovered. My first baby hated to be covered and I don't think I'll bother to attempt it with the next child. I think using a cover actually draws a lot more attention to what's happening anyway. Most of the time people thought my daughter was just sleeping in my arms when she was actually breastfeeding. There's only a second where anyone could possibly see anything when the child is latching and un-latching. If someone is staring at me so closely that they saw a flash of my nipple and then was offended by it ... well that would be their problem and not mine.
As far as sending hormonal teenage boys in the wrong direction ... Hmmmm ... I doubt many boys would consider seeing a baby breastfeeding as sexual. Do you think Mary used a cover when she was breastfeeding Jesus? I doubt it!

Rachel - posted on 09/03/2010

any where in church is fine by me, I have fed my children at the front and near the back of the church but would not leave the service unless I felt it necessary to feed my baby, as for sending teenage boys into overdrive, how funny! It is important to show boys that it is not a shameful thing to breast feed but quite on the contrary a normal and God given thing to be doing. Having said that if you yourself are uncomfortable feeding in church YOU decide to leave the service, I do not attend any church due to the attitude in most churches being 'We love children but please go off to your own activities now' I firmly believe in the scriptures that state that children should be brought up in the ways of God, but this relies on tolerance from a not very tolerant people, a shame really as they have so much to offer any young family. I have always been covered as much as possible for my own comfort, I am no exhibitionist and personally can't stand a draft on my back so I would wear a cardigan when I was feeding and a thin blanket over my baby for their comfort, other than that I refer to the scriptures when I say 'suffer the little children not' I doubt very much that whilst on the semon on the mount etc. Jesus turned round and asked the breastfeeding mother if she would like to decant into a vessel so as to avoid controversy, or just go over there so as to save so and so's hormonal dignity, if a church holds a policy of effectively banishing mum to the sideroom to feed then she may aswell stay at home and study the scriptures herself in isolation, it was one of the reasons I left my 'child friendly' church, and am dubious to attend anywhere else. I am half tempted to set up my own young families church so that mothers do not have to feel this isolation........ but I do not feel that is where God wants me, but to gently encourage people to focus on him and the love he has for us, to serve him faithfully and love him as best we can, blessings to all of you, we all do the best we can in each circumstance and must look out for the most vulnerable it's only the very least that Jesus would do.

Rebecca - posted on 09/03/2010

I agree with what Anne and Heather have said. We are not to cause others to stumble, and right or wrong, men look lustfully upon breasts. Also, the distraction of a loudly sucking baby is just as distracting as kids whispering or people texting in church. It is for the respect of the congregation that most of us think we should not BF in the sanctuary.

Anne - posted on 09/03/2010

Heather I was thinking the same thing as I was reading the other responses. Also SOME Mothers can not BF for Health reasons. I was one of those moms. I had Heart Surgery in 1963. At that time they were cutting just above the ribs, SOOO as I grew it cut into breast tissue. This caused me to no Produce enough milk for our first daughter at all. For our second I worked very hard to prepare and was able to nurse some but by 2 weeks she was on cereal and apple juice water. I would let her nurse for a very long time in hopes it would help. But when she started to lose weight I had to go to Plan B. No It has been over 22 years so I was not offended by your comments about the bottle and God being unpleased with our using the bottle. However if a young mom that was struggling with similar issues as I did it could cause her to have guilt that is not hers to have.
Laura I really am not trying to discipline you for your comments only to ask you to think of what our comments could do to someone else.
A sister In Christ.

Shannon - posted on 09/03/2010

I think using a cover is common courtesy to others. No I don't think going to the back of the church is necessary, just optional.

Heather - posted on 09/03/2010

I am going to try to write this as gently as possible. Our church does have a room in the back where moms can go to breast feed, change diapers, or sooth a crying baby. Not because children aren't welcome, but because they don't want to distract others. It's a way of being polite, and thoughtful of others in the congregation. Our congregation would never look down on someone for not using this room... unless they weren't being modest. The Bible says that we must not lead a brother to sin. My husband does not want to go to church and see another womans breast. That would be offensive, both to him and to me. Church is suppose to be a safe place where we shouldn't have to worry about what we are going to see. If you are a breastfeeding mom, please respect our marriages, husbands, and children. That's all I ask. We are all one family in Christ, however when I was visiting my family this summer and my sister began breastfeeding at the kitchen table in front of my husband, I must say it bothered me. She didn't use a cover, and was showing her breast. My husband had to get up and leave the room. He said that she was around family and should feel comfortable, but he didn't want to see it, and was uncomfortable. As Christians, we need to think about those around us and not just what is most convenient for us. (I'm not saying you are or directing this at anyone here). But if it could cause a brother to sin or be uncomfortable, why even mess with it? Why not protect the eyes of the innocent children so that the first breasts they look upon can be that of their wives? Our bodies are sacred, not to be flaunted no matter where we are. Please do not take offence to this, but I do ask you to pray about what I have written, think about it.



Oh, and I am also from a non-denominational church.

Kara - posted on 09/03/2010

At out church we have a mother's viewing room where we can sit and see/listen to service through a one-way, sound-proof, room that has ottomans and a changing table for breast feeding mothers. This is were mothers come to nurse their babies.



Oh and we are a non-denominational church.

Jamie - posted on 09/03/2010

My church has a nursing room for mothers, and I love it. There are chairs, changing tables, sinks, and even bottle warmers. It is clean, and in no way could offend anyone. Plus, the sound system is wired into the room so you can still listen to the sermon and singing. I don't breastfeed in church because my baby (and most of those that I know) can be loud while eating. For instance, my daughter use to moan while she ate, and I know others whose children suck incredibly loud. I know because of two reasons: first, i bf my daughter once in church, and she moaned and burped in church. People turned around, laughed, and snickered etc. It was INCREDIBLY distracting. So I never did it again. Second, my friend nurses her child in Sunday school, and it is very distracting because her baby sucks so, so, so loudly... it's distracting to me and, frankly, to our sunday school teacher (who will inevitably look up and laugh and apologize for losing her train of thought, and every other woman in there... I am very avid believer and supporter of breastfeeding. In fact, I bf in public all the time just not in church because I would not want my child to make a noise while eating and distract someone from the message. As far as, some societies not viewing breast as sexual objects... I agree and I wish this was one of those socities, but we all honestly know that it isn't. In America breast are very sexual. So, I always cover up. Just because I wish teenage boys and men didn't stare or lust they still do. I am a Independent fundamental Baptist

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/03/2010

Shannon, do you think a mom has to use a cover or is it just an option, Is it appropriate to nurse in your seat at church or do you think the mom should go to the back.

Shannon - posted on 09/03/2010

It's totally ok with a cover. If the mom feels uncomfortable then she could always just go into the nursery. Or be sure to sit toward the back of the church. I BF my babies at church. But I wear a cover & I sit toward the back. Nobody at my church feels it inappropriate. We are more than just a church body, we are a family.

Carla - posted on 09/03/2010

Laura, maybe in a perfect world women could BF in public and it would be acceptable. However, breasts have been reduced to things to look at and get pleasure, and not just for feeding babies.

God made womens bodies to be attractive to the opposite sex, so I don't feel BF with men and boys present is appropriate.

God bless

Jill - posted on 09/03/2010

Laura if you feel comfortable in church breastfeeding .. then by all means do so.... you asked us for our OPINION and we gave it of how we feel comfortable...its is 6 peoples opinions... wait for more and maybe you will find the one that will agree with you...when you post something you must be ready for both sides of the opinions.

Victoria - posted on 09/02/2010

I personally didn't BF my kids at all. Those women that have done in our church always go into the nursery to do so & usually cover up too. For modesty & so that everyone is comfortable. Also those who are in various levels of ministry usually send along a bottle so that the nursery workers can feed baby.

Maria - posted on 09/02/2010

I BF in the mothers room while at church. It's not a rule, but I'm more comfortable in there and why distract everyone else who wants to hear the preaching anyways?

Jill - posted on 09/02/2010

i personally would go to the nursery for privacy and would assume in my church other moms would too... i have never breast fed in public... i think you should be discrete about it....i am born again and go to Christian Missionary and Alliance church

Julie - posted on 09/02/2010

My church doesn't have any official stand on it, but I am more comfortable going into the Joy Room to nurse my daughter. This is a room just off the sanctuary, with a one-way window and a speaker, so I can still hear and see what is going on in the service. My church is Southern Baptist.

Laura Zoey - posted on 09/02/2010

Thanks for your opinion Carla, actually I am quite opposed to using a bottle at any time, I feel bottles in general are deteriorating americas health and so I wouldnt use one.
I tend to think it might be helpful for teen age boys to see that breasts are actually not sexual in design, that they are intended to feed. Maybe if everyone grew up seeing breastfeeding moms in the open then boys wouldnt get turned on by a mom feeding her child.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Carla! God bless you :)

Carla - posted on 09/02/2010

For modesty and respect for the sanctuary, I would say in nursery, and if there isn't one, in one of the vacant rooms. Yes, we know we all breastfeed, but I feel it might be distracting, especially to teenage boys, who have their hormones in overdrive. You might even think about expressing a bottle to take to church and eliminate any controversy that may arise. I am non-denominational Pentecostal.

God bless, honey