Broken Teens

Sarah - posted on 10/28/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I started reading a book called "What Your Daughter Isn't Telling You." I've only read the first chapter so far but I teared starting at the introduction. I've always had a great relationship with my daughter but once she hit 14 I was lost. I tried to relate thinking because I had her at such a young age I would understand her better than most mothers would understand their teens in this day in age. I was wrong. I knew for awhile now that she is going through something but last weekend we went to an over night youth conference, she goes every year, this year I for some reason decided I wanted to tag along. During one worship set she came up to me, started crying and said "Mom, I'm so broken." My heart broke into a billion pieces. Its one thing to raise babies, but teens... its scary. I am a single mom too so I feel so lost and alone. This book reminded me that God chose me specifically to do this mothering job for my daughter. I don't know how to do it or maybe I'm scared to do it because of the teenage girl I was. But I know that I'm not doing it alone.

I just needed to share that. Thanks sisters!

Sarah

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Sarah - posted on 11/02/2011

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Ladies, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can't even begin to express how much all of your words of encouragement mean to me. I'm all teary eyed reading everything. I will definitely take heart and advice from you all. I do love the popcorn and nails idea :) I'm going to throw that in this week. She has brought up to me that she's broken, which is a start but whenever I bring it up again she says nothing. So I hope the atmosphere will open her up. She loves getting her nail painted :) I'll let you all know how it goes. Thank you again! I've been needing to talk to someone about this, God brought you ladies. God bless ♥

Susan - posted on 11/02/2011

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Hey girl! Welcome to the family! You were chosen to be her mom bc you were the only one with the gifts you have. I met my stepdaughter just after her 13th bday (yeah, fun) and she's 22 now working on her masters. I have a 2 yr old also so the little girl thing is strange to me right now! You're very right in saying a teen and a baby are two different beings but very similar in that they still crave your trust and guidence even though they might push you away. I can't say that my #1 daughter's mom has been saved, however, #1 has definitely been saved. Even though she's not my biological daughter, my heart aches for her when she has any difficulty in her life. She's the sweetest daughter anyone could wish for. Hormones, peer pressure, to be included or liked, to be a child or grown-up, driving, body changes; it's all so difficult and frustrating. Just being there with your arms open (like God is for us) regardless of if she loves you or is mad at you is all it takes sometimes. Keep asking questions and talking to her even if you're up all night and you have to work the next day. Pop some corn, get your comfy jammies, get a scary movie (not too gross of course lol), paint each other's nails and do each other's hair while baking cookies and talking about boys! That gets us talking about everything (even if we're just talking on the phone or texting). Then, when you go to work, get some lattes and stay close to the coffee maker.



You're a great mom. Bless you sweetie!

Angela - posted on 10/29/2011

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Carla's right - the very fact she approached you proves she values your opinion and input and respects you as her mother. You can't be going far wrong honey! Good luck! My own daughter was a nightmare at ages 13 - 17.

Carla - posted on 10/29/2011

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Welcome, sweetheart. I hope more mothers that have gone through this will respond. I think you will find their answers basically the same as mine. Keep yourself very close to the Lord, He made our children, and He knows what is needed. Remember, however, that God gave us these children. He knew YOU were the ONE He wanted to raise her, so He will also equip you to raise her exactly as He wanted. It's never easy, but it's very, very worth it. I have children 45, 43 and 38. One is absent, haven't seen her or our grandchildren in 11 years. Talk about painful! But our other two are serving God, and I can't tell you how proud I am of them! We pray for them, do the best we know how, and trust God for the rest. I am still confident that when God's timing is right, that our daughter will come home. There is the faith of this life, to know that He will bring you the desires of your heart.

God bless, sweetheart!

Sarah - posted on 10/28/2011

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Thank you so much for that! I needed some encouragement. I'm working on our talks. I can't believe how much they've changed. But you're right, the fact she came to me IS wonderful. I will keep praying. Thank you again!

Carla - posted on 10/28/2011

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Sweetheart, you are NOT alone! Every mother has gone through this. That she came to you for help is wonderful!

Talk to her often. Tell her what you went through. Tell her what you felt. Kids think parents are from the dark age--they NEED to know, even though the time is different, the pull of sin is ageless. Pray for her, pray with her, talk to her. You will be fine.

God bless, darling, raising teenagers isn't for the faint of heart!