Charish him

Shelly - posted on 02/21/2009

Michelle,

  YEA, good for you SOME TIMES we have to put our wants and need asidet to let our husbands feel like they matter!!!  Venting is a good thing once in awhile and yes I do agree you need to talk to Christian women were you will be called on your crap as well as his.  When just have someone agreeing with you about your husband it can damage your relationship with him...Lots of Love Shelly

Michelle - posted on 02/20/2009

Quoting Shelly:

Oh and tell him he's fired from being boss this week end and do something special for him!!!

So funny....for dinner tonight he asked where I wanted to go and we were going to go to my favorite place but then I called him up and said "why don't we go to kickapoo" (that's his most favorite place, he loves their fried catfish).  I really can't stand the place but he loves it so much and we hadn't been there in a while so I thought it'd be nice for him.  He said "Are you sure that's where you want to go?"  "Your positive".  I really hate fish but it wasn't about me it was for him. 

I love this man so much and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't Thank God for him.  Even during the times where I may not act so thankful, I know that I am truly blessed to have the man that God created specifically for me. 

I appreciate the offer and will most definately take you up on it....there's quite some venting that needs to come out from time to time.  I usually vent to my sis but she gets pretty negative and I personally think it's best to get a Christian perspective.  Thanks so much for your kindness, prayers and support.

Veronica - posted on 02/20/2009

Great advice Shelly, this could be a continuation topic.

Shelly - posted on 02/20/2009

Oh and tell him he's fired from being boss this week end and do something special for him!!!

Shelly - posted on 02/20/2009

Michelle,

  Welcome to the human race...We all have our down days and thats ok as long as we dont stay there!!!!  And I so appriciate the fact that you are not willing to give up on your husband so many women think that if thier not happy it must be his fault and then leaves just to find out that it wasn't him!!!   And thank you for declaring your love for him some times I think as wives we get so wrapped up in our own garbage that we for get to share that love with others....So THANK YOU...Oh and by the way you can come and vent to me any time.  I understand some times we just need to get it out without being taken seriously...Lots of Love in Christ    Shelly

Michelle - posted on 02/20/2009

I appreciate it....I really like the loot and things comment, I'm going to have to bring that up....I did mention to him that I don't feel like he meets my emotional needs and his response was that he knows that he is not an affectionate person and left it at that.  We are going to be without the two older kids this weekend (they are staying at friends houses) and so I think it would be a good time to get some things out.  His explanation, however, of how he looks at things was that he feels that if he takes care of everything that is within his control, (paying bills, spending family time, etc) then God will take care of the things he is not able to control.  I think that he looks at every situation from a business perspective and as long as he is keeping his "employees" happy by taking care of them and giving them "bonuses" then that's the best he can do and everything else will work out fine afterall "that's the way dad did it".  I don't see things like that, I view each thing in a different way and believe that every action has a deeper meaning and can be interpreted in different ways.  I think that the little things need just as much attention as the big things b/c if they aren't taken care of then they can grow into bigger things, he thinks that if the big things are taken care of then the little things will fix themselves.

I really feel for him and I hate that I have this complaint b/c I love him with every single part of me and will always love him.  He is a great dad, a great husband and overall wonderful man, but he isn't perfect and I figure that the best thing to do is to keep him happy b/c if he's happy then I'm happy.  It just gets me down from time to time. 

Shelly - posted on 02/20/2009

Michelle,

  Be honest with him let him know that you are not getting your needs met.  And let him know what your needs are if you even know!! I'm not saying that to be smart but alot of times when we go to put our needs out there we seem to stumble because we're not sure.  And make sure that you are not looking for happieness from your husband.  You need to do that on your own ok and with the Lord sorry!!! But sit down and right down what it is you think you need from your husband and then talk to him about it...just talk to him about your children and how they are going to learn how to have a happy marriage from you...I know his responce will be all about teaching them to be good parents...well what if they choose not to have children or God forbid they can't then what will they have learned from you about marriage???What that thier marriage dosn''t matter because they are childless????  If you don't have a strong marriage then your children will be out there on thier own trying to figure out what it means to have a happy marriage!!!  Explain to your husband " The two best things you can give your kids is roots and wings not loot and things"  And part of that "things" is 100% of you!!!

I hope this helped...Just don't forget to involve the Lord in what ever you decide he LOVES you and cares about you...TRUST IN HIM   I will keep you in my prayers

Crystal - posted on 02/20/2009

It is very difficult sometimes. Michelle, I don't know what to suggest for you at all. All I know is that if I put my kids first, I am so burnt out by the end of the day I can barely have a conversation with my hubby. You have to find the right balance, and make sure you have time for you by yourself and time for just you and your husband.

Michelle - posted on 02/17/2009

What if your not the one putting the kids before your spouse but your husband putting the kids before you.  I have mentioned this before but he strongly feels that it isn't right to put me before them nor does he think I should put him before them.  I asked him then what is going to happen when the kids are grown and he said that it will all work out the way it is suppose to but I sometimes get jealous b/c he isn't very good at meeting my emotional needs (not sexual but emotional), b/c he's so stretched thin.