Christian Discipline

Jamie - posted on 05/16/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I need some suggestions on good books out there about discipline and toddlers. I just need some new approaches, aside from time outs and the occasional spanking for big no no's. I've read Dr. Dobson's stuff, and I agree with him that there is a time and a place, albeit a small amount, for spankings, but just doing this is not cutting it. My little 2 year 3 months angel - Beth - comes home from daycare with a list of things she did wrong during the day... spitting, telling the teacher no, won't stay in time out, hitting, running around screaming.... anyway, got some suggestions for my summer reading list on discipline?

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[deleted account]

Try The No-cry discipline solution by Elizabeth Pantley or Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel. I did get a few good ideas for these 2 books along with Dr. Dobson and SuperNanny. I use a smiley face reward chart for my child that seems to work but still have to do time-outs or take away things. I had a hard time for awhile but she is 4 1/2 years now and doing better. Each child is different and it takes time finding what will work for your child. Also check christianbooks.com or your local christian bookstore. Good luck and hang in there.

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Jamie - posted on 05/23/2009

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Wow! Thanks for the help everyone! I'm gonna go out and get that Shepherding a Child's Heart book, and I just finished reading the Supernanny book. Realized from that one that I was doing the timeout thing way wrong. I've seen a marked change when I use her technique for timeout, or what she calls the naughty step. I'll be sure to check out all these suggestions! I'm looking forward to having the summer off with her. Quality time with mommy :-)

Alice - posted on 05/22/2009

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As a "seasoned" mother of two grown women, I will tell you that no one method will work for long with any child. Parents need to be flexable and have many tools in their belt. I loved Dr. Dobson's books, especially "The Strong-Willed Child" but I still had to adapt what he taught, to my child's temprement. What worked with one daughter, was a failure with the other and vise versa.

Also, the problems you are describing at daycare may be your daughters way of telling you it is too much for her. I had to work after my divorce, and my girls were in daycare until my parents stepped in to help. But ultimately what they wanted was me. Just something to think about.

[deleted account]

"To Train Up A Child" by Michael and Debbie Pearl, you can find it at NoGreaterJoy.org or NoGreaterJoyMinistries.org I can't remember which one is right. You mentioned "occasional spanking" I've read a lot about spanking and everyone I've talked to and every book I've read said that spanking cannot be an occasional thing. If you are going to spank you have to stick with it, every disobedience every time. Inconsistencies only confuse the child b/c they never know if they are going to get spanked "this time" or not. I read about a mom who decided to start spanking her children consistently b/c they were so unruly and about a week after she had started doing this she was praying with her daughter and the little girl said this, "Dear God, thank you for making mommy happier." Once the mom had decided to start spanking her children they knew what was expected of them and didn't attempt to disobey b/c they knew what they would get every single time, this made for a happier house!

Michelle - posted on 05/19/2009

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I also agree with other that Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tripp is really good. I've also read Don't Make Me Count To Three and Heavenly Home by Plowman. They are also books on biblical discipline. I really liked all three. I've read Five Love Languages for adults but not the one for child yet. I'm sure it's really good too. Hope that helps.

Jennifer - posted on 05/18/2009

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I reccomend Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman. It does not specifically talk about discipline stratigies, but about understanding your child and in what ways they are motivated. It is great because not everything works for every child and by understanding your child's love language you have a better idea as to what will work.

Jen - posted on 05/18/2009

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I also recommend Shepherding a Child's Heart. The misbehaviors that are common in toddlers are not simply outward problems to be manipulated. Ted Tripp, in his book, teaches what the Bible has to say about behaviors being outworkings of the heart. As a parent, I have learned that my motivation should never be to get my child to act a certain way and do what I want; parenting is the weighty task of constantly showing my child their need for the Savior. What works in manipulating behavior can often be a quick fix and the heart issue can appear in a different form, unaddressed. I recommend the book because it is not a bunch of ideas that come from a man's imagination, but it is rather a searching of Scripture on the issue of parenting and applying the principles to everyday life.

Rebekah - posted on 05/17/2009

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Try reading Supernanny's book - I know it's not Christian, but it's positive reinforcement that can make a difference. You don't have to buy into her concept that you shouldn't spank kids if you don't believe that. But her concepts really do work.

Carrie - posted on 05/16/2009

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Shepherding a Child's heart by Ted Tripp is the most Biblically based discipline book I have read. I highly recommend it. There are a lot of things written on how to produce the desired behavior from your child, but this book addresses the heart issue.

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