Christian Views on oral sex?

Carmen - posted on 02/09/2012 ( 36 moms have responded )

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My husbuddy (husband/best friend) has asked me more times than I can count if I would...going on 4 years now and I've never done it. I was a virgin on our wedding night and took awhile for me to get comfortable with love-making...perhaps it's my past college life (hearing my girlfriends talking about giving oral to a guy or clips of movies/tv that portray oral sex as dirty, raunchy or something that makes my stomach cringe- that I find oral sex to be associated with (dirty, gross (my friends talking about their experiences). and /or uncomfortable. I havn't had the guts to talk to my Christian girlfriends about this because they know my husband and maybe I"m nervous about what they would say.



I also have TMJ and would hate to get my jaw stuck open..lol

On a serious note though, I've prayed about getting a clearer mind about this. I want my husband to be happy and have tried on few occasions but just can't do it (I get grossed out!!)



Is oral sex biblical? Sex for pleasure I know is..(I'm thinkin' this falls in that category) Do other Christian women feel this way??

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Carmen - posted on 03/07/2013

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Wow! I am just reading most of these and feel terrible that I havn't checked this sooner. Haha, lol at all the TMJ comment reactions :) So it's over a year since my last post, I'm now going on 5 years of marriage, pregnant with 3rd child now and still havn't pleased him in that way =/ I'm thankful for all of the encouraging words and realize that my mouth won't be open as wide as it is when I go to the dentist..lol..but I still just havn't been able to do the deed. Now my husband has given me oral but I laugh and cringe the whole time as I feel so nervous about it still and many other times he asks me if he could and I don't let him. I really just have to get some crazy thoughts and memories I have of my college girlfriends remarks about oral out of my head!!! So question: Do my oral-giving Christian mamas swallow? I think that's the part I'm most grossed out about...even though i love love love and adore my husband and enjoy our lovemaking, I think I might throw up if I taste his fruit?! I hear what that scripture says about not letting it fall to the ground and always took that as masturbation as well, but I could benefit from more scripture and thank those of you who shared verses and other encouraging words. :) I hope to try baby-steps again as I once was on about the 3rd step then regressed back to the 1st step :) Thanks all.

Rachel - posted on 03/12/2013

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You don't have to do it til it hurts you. I have a sensitive jaw too, but I'm cool with a brief stint just to get things going. It's not like you have to finish that way- but if your hubs wants a little, I say he deserves it! Our Godly men are awesome and we should reward them for that any way we can!

Carla - posted on 02/14/2012

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Brandy, darling, let's remember to speak respectfully and lovingly to our sisters. Not all of us have been enlightened, so to speak, about sex, and this forum is a great way for us to get other's opinions. Treat each woman here with the great respect we use for our mothers, sisters and gramas.



Thanks honey, God bless

Carla - posted on 02/13/2012

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Shyla, darling, do you have any Scripture to back up your statement? I know there are a lot of believers that hold this opinion, but I have never found anything that backs this up. As a matter of fact, Paul says in I Corinthians 7:5--'Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.' Proverbs 5:18-19--'Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.' Hebrews 13:4--'Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled---' And then, of course, we have Song of Solomon----;)



Sex between two committed Christians is one of the greatest gifts God has given humans. We have found a more tender, loving attitude towards each other, and it's kinda like being on a honeymoon. I urge you to research this yourself. Go into the Bible and see exactly what God has to say. You may be missing out on a great part of life.



God bless

Angela - posted on 02/09/2012

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There are a few Christians (men AND women) who would say any form of sex other than "proper" intercourse and a little light manual caressing and stroking as "loveplay" or "foreplay" isn't right or "biblical" - some would even say it was downright WRONG.



I personally don't agree with this. I found a really good Christian website (run by Christian WOMEN) that discusses all kinds of sex play. They endorse ALL of it as good, healthy and spiritual as long as both partners are



a) married to each other

b) consenting

c) entirely comfortable about going ahead

d) entirely comfortable about stopping if one partner says he/she doesn't like it.



You'll find this website here:



http://christiannymphos.org/



also there is a sister site on a similar theme and that one's here:



http://monogabliss.com/

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Darla Susan - posted on 03/11/2013

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Lets face it, unless you wer'e implanted medically inside of your mother, we are ALL here because SOMEBODY HAD SEX!!!!!!! Why would these parts feel such pleasure if God did not intend it. As long as both people are comfortable, no one talks the other into doing things, and no pain or pornographic material is involved, and no talking nasty, who cares?? One other thing however, while I believe oral sex is fine, and of course regular sex is fine, the "other, dirty,type" you understand I hope. I, personally beleive is off limits PERIOD! Also, as long as we are being honest, Our policy after 23 years of marriage is that if it is not a natural part of my husbands boby or a body part, stay back, NO TOYS! Only in marriage of course.

Stacy - posted on 03/08/2013

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Laughing my butt off about the tmj comment. And sry to not have advice on this, but seems like there are plenty of advice to have already. I am one to not do it anymore, I dont like it, not for me. lol for obvious reasons, including a related jaw issue.

But pray about it, our great God will lead you to the answer. He always does

Angela - posted on 04/15/2012

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I think she said oral sex was unbiblical/unscriptural and implied it was sinful, to be likened to bestiality, incest or gay sex. She was asked by me (and possibly others) to give the scriptural references that supported this view - but was unable to.

I assume the Mods deleted her posts in case any person reading them (in isolation without reading the rest of the thread) might believe what she said and then refrain from some of the varied activities within their own sex lives? I don't know - I'm only guessing.

It's also possible that she removed her posts herself - which any member of Circle of Moms is able to do.

I have noticed Shyla posting unsubstantiated claims about certain topics on other Forums within Circle of Moms as well.

Catherine - posted on 04/15/2012

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I can only assume by not seeing Shyla's posts, they were deleted. Why is that? Just by seeing the comments that others had said about Shyla's posts, I can gather that I believe the same as you others but I still would have liked to see Shyla's posts to see where she was coming from.

Angela - posted on 03/25/2012

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Frances, I have no idea! I'm not a "sexpert", I only googled for the ideas I put into my post.



However if the bad experience put you BOTH off and you're BOTH happy avoiding this form of lovemaking, that's fine. There are dozens of other things you can do and have fun with!



Whatever variety of "treats" you have on your own personal sex menu as a couple is entirely up to you! Just keep being happy and enjoy each other!

Frances - posted on 03/24/2012

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1) Throat infection was already on its way and would have flared up even without oral sex beforehand. I have never had a throat infection like that before and nothing like this was going around in the family.

2) Oral sex went as far as a "deep throat" variation which has irritated the throat and caused the illness. It was not very deep.

3) Partner was happy & excited and consequently got a bit vigorous during the experience, causing a throat injury which wasn't apparent until afterwards. It was not vigorous.

4) Partner's genitals weren't 100% clean, therefore germs were transferred. He washed carefully before hand.

5) Throat itself wasn't 100% clean and the introduction of a "foreign object" (partner's penis) served to irritate and make things worse. How can you know how clean your throat is?

6) Female partner has an allergy to semen - not common bu Do allergies cause a fever of 102.2?

Rebekah - posted on 03/24/2012

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God created sex and gave all of our parts senses to be ignited. Song of Solomon is the greatest love story and sex story in the Bible - read it, dig in it, understand it.



As for your question about oral sex... if you are NOT comfortable with this, then your partner needs to be made aware and this is something you and him need to work out together. There are some GREAT sex books in the Christian book store that allow both of you to talk about what you are comfortable with and not so comfortable with. They go into details about God's design for sex and what things are not Biblical, etc. I'd recommend reading one of those together and answering the questions together openly and honestly.

Kimberli - posted on 03/24/2012

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It's nothing nasty about it in my opinion!!! It can be a wonderful thing if u allow it and think about who it's with (ur hubby)!!! That was your friends' experiences not yours!!! I'm sure it'll be fine and I'm pretty sure ur hubby loves u a lot so he won't mind making u feel extra comfortable!!! Good Luck 2 ya!!!

Angela - posted on 02/14/2012

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I have Googled this extensively since reading your first post Frances. Most of the time illness resulting from oral sex simply comes up as some STD or other caught orally. But I appreciate that if you and your husband have been in a mutually monogamous relationship, then transmission of an STD can't possibly be the answer.



It's very important before indulging in oral sex to have a clean, germ-free and infection-free mouth as well as clean, germ-free and infection-free genitals. Infections can develop in the genitals that have absolutely no origin in being sexually transmitted - just like infections in the mouth can also develop.



All I can suggest (backed by the research of recent Google searches) is that your bad throat resulted from one of the following:



1) Throat infection was already on its way and would have flared up even without oral sex beforehand.

2) Oral sex went as far as a "deep throat" variation which has irritated the throat and caused the illness.

3) Partner was happy & excited and consequently got a bit vigorous during the experience, causing a throat injury which wasn't apparent until afterwards.

4) Partner's genitals weren't 100% clean, therefore germs were transferred.

5) Throat itself wasn't 100% clean and the introduction of a "foreign object" (partner's penis) served to irritate and make things worse.

6) Female partner has an allergy to semen - not common but entirely possible.



The bad, unlucky experience has put you off oral sex for life, it would appear. That is your choice of course but doesn't mean a similar experience will happen to others - as long as they follow guidelines.

Frances - posted on 02/14/2012

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If you do an internet search on illness after oral sex or perhaps a fever or a sore throat after oral sex, then you may find it. I know I saw several people on yahoo answers who experienced the same thing. I actually wonder if I got strep, since I've never had it before. I know certain areas of your body can have certain types of bacteria.

Kaitlin - posted on 02/14/2012

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Frances, to be fair, this is part of the reason why Catholics believe BC is wrong (condoms, pills, iuds etc). Just throwing that in there- I know all Christian faiths do not condemn BC (though in the 30's they did), so I'm really NOT starting that argument there, but I just wanted to throw that out there because the Catholic church also says that oral sex is a-okay, and based of biblical principals, as long as his stuff ends up inside you at the end (which is how we've been doing it since we started). It's all about pleasure AND procreation, not one or the other, or one without the other.



Frances- That's very strange- I've never heard of that kind of reaction, but I suppose certain fluids can cause a kind of allergy on certain other areas? Does that sound right? Could it be a one time only deal (maybe he was sick? or something?) or is it something that will always occur? We were both virgins when we got married too, so I never thought that would be an issue at all. Learn something new every day. I would love to learn more, where should I look?

Joy - posted on 02/14/2012

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Right, Frances re Onan. I'm still looking for references about oral sex. I've done that with my husband several times over the 8 years we've been married and never gotten sick from it.

Frances - posted on 02/14/2012

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Onan was struck down because he did not want his relative to get the credit for his child. It was selfishness, pure and simple. The Bible specifically says he was judged because he knew the seed would not be considered his. His motive was the sin, not his act. If it was forbidden to spill seed outside of the vagina, then a condom would also be wrong.

We only tried oral sex twice. My hubby kept wanting it, so I finally gave in. A day after the second time, I got quite sick. I had a fever above 102 and a very swollen throat. My uvula was so swollen that I had difficulty swallowing. It was so big that it was lying on my tongue. I never went to the doctor and I got well after a few days. We never did it again after that. Do an internet search for illness after oral sex, and you will find that it is not uncommon. We were both virgins when we got married, so I don't think it was a STD.

Angela - posted on 02/14/2012

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Well the silence from Shyla is deafening! LOL!! Come on Shyla, get back on here and defend/explain your post! Other members are practically falling out about it!



Meanwhile I have half a box on continental chocolates to get through. I ate the first half at lunchtime today - it's after 10pm here in England. My husband is in bed but he treated me to these chocolates for Valentine's Day.



So I'm turning off my computer very soon and eating my choccies. That's as near to "oral sex" as I can be bothered with tonight. Putting stuff in my mouth is definitely oral, chocolate is sensual rather than sexual but I'm going to have a darned good time! I have a nice, wholesome, heartwarming novel to read as well, I love reading. Husband went to bed early since he has work first thing in the morning!

Joy - posted on 02/14/2012

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I think there's a passage somewhere about not letting a 'man's seed spill the ground' in the Old Testament, my mom quoted that to me awhile ago for a reason not to let a man masturbate. ...but when I googled it (Its Gen 38:8-10 for reference) someone has interpretted it with more context:



"Since this is the beginning of the world, there are very few people on earth and they were ALL related. (Adam and Eve...their offspring multiplied to populate the world). Anyway, based on the circumstances, God told the people to multiply (so as to populate the world). So it was kinda their duty (otherwise the human race would die out).



Anyway, in this particular instance, Onan's brother died before he had any children, therefore according to custom, it was Onan's duty to sleep with his dead brother's wife in order to produce offspring for his dead brother (to continue the family line). So Onan was specifically instructed to do this. But what does Onan do? He sleeps with the wife, but rather than giving her a baby, he pulls out and let's "his seed spill to the ground." He did this regularly. He wasn't masturbating, he was deliberately making sure the wife wouldn't get pregnant. It was a direct act of rebellion. So God got mad and struck him down. Hey, the earth is new, people need to multiply and populate it."



There's a lengthy forum discussion about it afterwards about who's right on the interpretation, but that's just about masturbation -not oral sex. I'd also like to see where the reference is in the Bible to where oral sex is wrong.

Jamie - posted on 02/14/2012

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LOL at the TMJ comment! I totally get that.....that is one of the reasons I don't like to do it.



Oral sex with you husband is completely in-line with the Bible (sex is a gift!) - as long as it is consenting.



If you felt pressured or it hurt you, yet you husband was putting you down for not doing it- that is where it separates from being something positive that is right in the eyes of God, to something that is just plain wrong.



Randomly on the topic- I got a gag gift from a wives group (valentines day party) and my children found the edible underwear! LOL I should have thrown it away. I did take some pretty funny pictures if you are interested- http://iamnotthebabysitter.com/happy-val...

Kaitlin - posted on 02/14/2012

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I have also met some women who believe missionary position is the only ok and biblical way, though never gotten into a deep conversation- I would be very interested in the reason and scripture to back this up also, and then, what do you do with the rest of the Bible? Honestly confused.

Carla - posted on 02/14/2012

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@Brandy--I am sorry you are leaving our community. We are human women, trying to live our lives the best we can. We want all women to be comfortable giving us their opinions without fear of reprisals.



A lot of people have taken the responsibility of giving life lessons to others, sadly, without having prompting from the Holy Spirit, and it has been to the detriment of society. My own grandmother thought sex was inappropriate--not quite sure how they had 6 kids--and she passed her views onto my mother and aunts. My 'birds and the bees' talk was 'don't get pregnant'. Thanks, Mom.



My past is tainted, to say the least. I was pregnant at 15, (some men just don't take no for an answer), then had an affair on me after 2 months of marriage. He picked the time I was pregnant with our second child (I was 17) to tell me of his little oops. I went nuts. I slept with every man I came across, and this continued on for many years. But, the more I did it, the dirtier I felt. At age 50, the Lord got ahold of me and made me into a different person. I struggled, though, with sex, because of my past, I still felt dirty.



I tell you these things because I want people to understand how the power of God can work to clean up the worst of the worst. I am still a work in progress--my feelings of linking sex with infidelity are being resolved, and I thank God for it.



And finally, Brandy, if you have read ANY of my postings, honey, darling, etc are just a part of me. I treasure women, especially those struggling with wounds. If I offended you, I am truly sorry.



God bless, all--and happy Valentine's Day!

Brandy - posted on 02/14/2012

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I showed absolutely no disrespect in my post - I responded and stuck up for my beliefs - When someone refers to an act that is done between me and my husband and then compares it to beastiolgy -homosexuality - and insest - you are darn right I am gonna get heated and write a post - but in no way did I show Shyla (or what whatever the spelling of her name is) any disrespect....

I get angry when Christian woman expect other Christian women to fill this mold they believe that as a believer exists - it's not true - the Lord wants us to be just normal women that set healthy biblical examples and walk in his foot steps

I am done with this post- I came on here to give or shed some information on the subject for the original girl - b/c I could so relate to her issue -

I am also done with this group for most of you take

care and God Bless you seem humorous and level headed nice and nonjudgemental - and still have faith and believe because all of this can be mixed in with your personality

And still be saved!

And by the way if we should ever cross paths again Ms. Carla - please never ever call me darling or honey again! Thank you!

Angela - posted on 02/14/2012

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@ Kelsey – thanks for your comments! I firmly believe that laughter is the best medicine and God, in His wisdom wants us to have the abundant life! Like I said in my earlier post, sex is one of the most important ways we bond with our partner – and as my own husband says “but so is having a good laugh!”.



Many people believe the English to be straight-laced and unemotional - not me!



Carla often comments on these chat threads that making Jesus and our faith really attractive to unbelievers in order that we have the best way to bring them to the Lord. Some Christians, I’m afraid are SO “righteous and holy” whilst also saying “thou shalt not” (to just about everything) that prospective converts can be put off by this, thinking that they’ll never be welcome because they’ll never make the grade. Sometimes we probably need a few of life’s losers to bring new souls into our flock, people might feel more comfortable with this.



I’ll freely admit that I’m a sinner and often fall in error, poor judgement, laziness etc …. I also have a temper and get furious about some things – especially injustice. But a sense of humour is helpful in lots of life’s trials – for non-believers AND for Christians.



Jesus lived a human life on Earth, just like we do. Can we seriously imagine that He never smiled or laughed? Of course He did!



Anyway, I’m getting way off topic now. Hope everyone has a lovely Valentine’s Day!

Kelsey - posted on 02/14/2012

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@ Angela, you are a hoot, lol. I read your posts often and you are always inserting humor to every single one. I love laughing. God Bless!

Anne - posted on 02/14/2012

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I to have had questions about this jubject. I can also understand our sister Shala's opinion. I am almost 57 and my mom was 39 when I was born so by the time I was at the age that "The birds and the bees" talk was going on (looking back now to when I had been married and a mom, and remembering some of the things my mom said about sex, I think she may have uncomfortable with the talk.) my mom just related what she was told, and if your experience with this aspect of sex was similar I can understand why you have this opinion Shala. But I am here to tell you that "Good Women" DO ENJOY SEX.



In my opinion the most important thing to remember is that as long as BOTH are comfortable and it is between a married husband and wife then enjoy each other.

Angela - posted on 02/14/2012

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Marriage is about bonding - sex is a vital part of bonding. I think that any act of pleasure and closeness between two, married, consenting adults is a wonderful thing!



Marriage is also between one man and one woman for life - and since sex is an important part of the whole partnership package then to only be doing it 2or 3 different ways is failing to take all the interesting, varied and imaginative opportunities open to us. Don't know if this makes any sense to everyone else?



Oral sex is not just a wonderful intimate sensation a woman gives to her husband, the man gives it to his wife as well!



In defence of Shyla, it's true that there are a number of women (both Christians and non-Christians) who cannot bring themselves to indulge in this form of lovemaking with their respective men. That's OK - no-one should feel obliged to take part in something that's truly distasteful and perhaps even distressing to them. But if this is the case let's just admit it's not to our liking whilst respecting that others feel differently. To suggest that it's unnatural or unhealthy to defend or justify one's own choices seems rather brand everyone else who simply enjoys it!



I'm rather amused actually that we're having this conversation right now on Valentine's Day, LOL!! And I can guess what many of us will be doing with our husbands tonight .... Enjoy yourselves ladies!

Brandy - posted on 02/14/2012

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I am sorry you feel this way - and I truly feel bad for your husband - why in the world would you even put it in that category - ( which I have never even looked at) I am married - to a believer also - we are not perverts - are not dirty people - our sex life is not a escapade of erotic perverted events - and we are certainly not dirty minded - the Lord gave us our bodies to give to one one another as a gift in my opinion and as long as both man and wife are happy with what's going on in your bedroom, your both in fellowship with the Lord and mental attitude is positive and in check also one with God - why would he pass judgement on us as a married couple what we are doing in our bedroom?

To compare oral sex between two believers .....to having sex with a cow (or any animal)) or with the same sex or even sicker a family member is absolutely disgusting and wrong - What just because we are believers we have to have sex only one way - where is that written and why would the Lord feel that way- just because I am a Christian doesn't mean I am a stuffy woman without any sexual desires or wants - or at best wouldn't want to really excite my husband or bring a some newness to our foreplay - that certainly doesn't mean Iam thinking on the same levels as a pervert and that I would enjoy sex with my dog -

It's believers that think in a way as you that give other believers a bad rap - it's believers like you that act like Christians are suppose to be dull- bible holly rollers - goody two shoes - it's believers like you that make most unbelievers look upon us christians now days as if we are crazy and want nothing to do with the bible - because believers like you take the bible twist it and and take it all out of context!

It really stinks because my husbands deployed and gone and now in writing this has made me think of him and in the past what fun times we've shared - and I tell ya what if he was here right now I guarantee we'd be having oral sex and lots of it !!! And the Lord would be happy that I wasn't denying my husband a pleasure that he so much loved as do I - but he's not here - so I will wait for him to come home next fall - but in the mean time I will continue to walk in fellowship with my Lord and Pray and be the best mom I can and the best Christian I can ever be - will I mess up - oh heck yeah - but it certainly won't be in the bedroom - because what my husband and I do behind close doors as Christians - makes the Lord happy - because that's why he gave us each other!!

Kelsey - posted on 02/14/2012

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I too, had an aversion to it for a while. I have been married 5 1/2 years now. We have been each other's only sex partners, so any experimenting done we have strictly done together. I don't mind it now, I still don't do it very often so it is a very special treat for my husband, lol. and he knows I'll only do it when he gets out of the shower.



It brings me pleasure to please him and thats why I keep doing it. Plus, oral sex goes both ways, so it can be a pleasure to both husband and wife. Also, don't be afraid to talk to your girlfriends about it. They just might be having the same questions too and will be more understand than you think. God Bless

Angela - posted on 02/13/2012

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Procreation only? Where does it say this in the Bible? Source? (Book, Chapter & Verse?)



My take on it is this:



The Bible endorses sex as an expression of love, not for the exclusive purpose of breeding/procreation. The Song Of Solomon is all about sex as an expression of love between 2 people. This book of the Bible is a collection of love poems between two people that are in covenant relationship. When you read this book of the Bible you will not find the words ‘children’, ‘offspring’ or ‘family’ mentioned at all. You will however find the word ‘lover’ mentioned 28 times, ‘darling’ mentioned 19 times and the bride's breasts are complimented 8 times.



As for unnatural sex - who gets to define what 'unnatural' is? Does the Bible explicitly list oral sex amongst its examples of unnatural sex? If so, where?



Looking forward to your answers, Shyla. I'm not as knowledgable as I'd like to be on the Bible and currently don't have access to a Concordance. So I'm keen to be shown your source. Thanks.

Angela - posted on 02/13/2012

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Shyla, is this view based on your own preferences?

Or do you feel there is scriptural evidence to support your view?



Just asking!



QUIZ QUESTION I ONCE SAW THAT MADE ME LAUGH:



Do you think sex is dirty?



a) Yes

b) No

c) Only if you're doing it properly!

Brandy - posted on 02/10/2012

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Carmen- I am rolling on the floor over the tmj comment-

Anyways- I too have tmj and all I can say is my jaw works just fine!! And I have never had it lock up or anything ( I am envisioning that.... Ah... what a real killer on the night that would be!!!) let's move on....

I once talked to our pastor about sex and the rights and wrongs ... I too felt dirty in the beginning - I have always been extremely naive & i guess a lot of peopl would say in our society dumb(!)about the male body- sex and sex of any kind-and anything that comes along with!.... Anyways, I remember asking him if the Lord would get upset with things of a married couple doing in the bedroom...( did I word that right???) his response was " as long as you both are happy with your choice of what your doing- and it is done between the two of you( married wife& husband) ... Then what goes on behind your bedroom door is your business and it is not wrong- it took me a long time to get 100% comfortable with sex- their is some underlying reason I have always felt a dirtiness to it - And that is so not the case and even with oral sex too- I am talking when shared between a husband and wife- The Lord gave us this wonderful thing to share in a marriage and to explore all that comes with it - that be oral - regular sex or whatever you as a couple decide you both want to do and are happy with-

Now on the subject of "it" being gross or I don't have your exact words in front of me- but I am sure I know what you mean- all I can say is this.... From what I have read over my many naive years and from my marriage and just in talking with very close friends- GUYS LOVE LOVE oral sex sometimes more than even regular sex- I haven't a clue why? Ranks up there with the "why do you like my chest so much" kinda thing!! I mean I am sure it's nice - but they seem to get a little crazy over it!!! So if you can try to work on baby steps - knowing your jaw won't lock up:-)& you do know you don't have to like open like you are at a dentist right!:-)???- but you have to be happy with doing it -or it won't be right. Until you share in this with your husband - all the thoughts - the awfulness that you think about oral sex will not go away- because I think really it's a very personal thing and it's never like you hear- ( meaning ... All what you have heard from younger days ..)

What a husband & wife do in the bedroom is so not suppose to feel wrong - dirty- shameful - we as Christians women especially - He wants us to understand this and enjoy each other and have such a passionate time with our spouse -truly the Lord does!

Now the taste is a totally difgerent story - I won't even go there - i don't want to be gross you're on your own on this one

Have fun - you guys waited - what a blessing that was to yourselves to eachother - don't worry about things so much - pray for wisdom and guidance - and you'll be just fine ! The Lors is on your side and your husbands - now get going - go brush your teeth and have some fun that's all new to your marriage- even if it's just baby steps and exploring and getting the feeling for it and even talking about it - believe me he'll be all happy with it!! Take care and God bless the both of you and your marriage

Kaitlin - posted on 02/09/2012

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HECK YES. ;) (also, dying about the TMJ comment)



Cough cough. Let me continue.



Oral sex is absolutely 100% biblical. Do you want the passages? Song of Solomon baby- biblical 'feet' being his member, and 'goblet of sweet vine' being, well.......! But it's a two way street- for both parties- lol- make sure he's helping you out too!



That being said, if you are truly uncomfortable with it, he shouldn't make you do it, and you shouldn't feel guilt there. It's about BOTH parties becoming one and enjoying each other as we were meant to, fully human, fully sexual beings loving one another completely. It's not about putting someone down over another- one way to avoid this is to do it in bed, lying down, rather than referring to it as 'head' or a 'BJ' and having the woman on her knees.



We're very dedicated, faithful, by-the-Good Book Catholics. Not sure what you're views are in that area, but Pope John Paul II wrote an amazing book called "Theology of the Body" that has some great insight on sex, it's implications and meanings, it's biblical roots, and how wonderful it is giving yourself ENTIRELY to another, meaning all ways, in all manners, all the time (well, you know what I mean). It's a great read, but I think they have the sparknotes version too (okay, not sparknotes per say, but an overview) online.



Good for you for waiting- we did too- dang it's hard!

Carmen - posted on 02/09/2012

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Thanks Angela,

I found those same 4 things recently and agree and have a peace about them. Thanks for your post and i'll have to check out those sites.

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