Disrespectful Teenage Step Daughter

Laura - posted on 05/04/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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To say that my husband's family is dysfunctional would be an understatement! They mistreat him all the time. His daughter has joined in with them. She talks to him like he is a dog! We bend over backwards for her. She wears designer clothes does what she wants bascially when she wants as long as it is within reason. She is never grateful, rarely says thank you but we are the bad guys we are evil! The people that always disappoint her and let her down (her grandmother) are her hereo's I do not understand but this has been going on for many years and I am at my wits end. My husband is hurting and disappointed. I really wished that this would end soon! Please be in Prayer for me and my family!

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Lora - posted on 05/06/2011

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A unified front always creates stability. I have also went through this bu it's most important to be unified. You and your husband really need to discuss this more intimately. And make a decision concerning the atmosphere in the home. Pray and also Fast concerning this for God's divine direction. Because I know you point of view concerning her behavior and I also know that you want the best for her. We put my sister in counseling at the church because their were some childhood issues that caused her to react in disobedience. Behavior is learned! So pray for wisdom and God will freely give it to you. Take charge of your home. God is the head of your life so walk in the authority that God has given you and your husband. The enemy is your enemy not the person. I pray that you will receive wisdom concerning this. We also felt a need to place her in a christian program where she went to school and received counseling. I pray that this helps you! Get in the word and pray much!

Carla - posted on 05/05/2011

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Unfortunately, Laura sweetie, this is something her father is going to have to handle. Anything you try to do is going to be used as ammunition the next time something goes down. I understand your husband's hurt and disappointment. We have a daughter the same way. My first husband, her father, was a monster, and after I got the children safely away from him and put the entire United States between us, I thought my problems were over. Not! I made the mistake of 'letting things slide', because she had seen so much at such a young age. This was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I tried to fix this, but it was years after, and the die was cast. She has divorced herself from us, and we have not seen her or our grandbabies since 2000. They live 17 miles away.

The natural response to children who have suffered divorce is to pamper them. This brings about the child's selfishness and thought that they are somehow privileged and 'deserve' things. You don't say how old this girl is, but I am thinking she is in her teens.

God gave us children to mold and shape into Godly adults. This is our primary responsibility, NOT giving them material stuff. Hubby needs to do some serious praying and get a clear message from God. Raising children is not for the timid. Sometimes we have to do the tough stuff, as Victoria told you about her step-son. She and her husband did the boy a good service, even though he probably didn't see it at the time.

Sometimes we beat our heads against a brick wall, family-wise. We are walked on, used and abused, and we allow it, thinking we are being good Christians. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for a person is to say no. So, I pray, in the Name of Jesus, for strong direction and strength to withdraw yourselves from this family that is sucking the life out of you. I pray for peace, knowing ultimately, that this is the best thing you can do for his loved ones.

And finally, God bless. I pray you both find the joy in life that being a Christian can bring.

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√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 05/06/2011

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Yes, your husband needs to stand up for himself..... how old is she? How long have you been in his life? Maybe he should see a counsler or a coach in order to help him get his relationship back on track with his daughter in order to have a long lasting relationship without so many problems, stress and strain........... sounds like she simply has needed discipline for a long time but no one is giving it to her........ so it is going to be tough, depending on what age she is........ expecially the teenage years. You have to be hard on them from childhood......... so I would talk to your husband and try to help him seek out the help he needs.

Alisha - posted on 05/04/2011

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Perhaps memorize scriptures that have to do with how honorable it is to be grateful and how to treat others. Then just tell them to her when she is not being nasty and make sure you compliment her if she ever does something nice or is thoughtful of another person or compliment another person in front of her for doing that. This is a tough one, you can't teach a person to be grateful that's for sure, but you can gently explain the hurt to her (your husband should probably tell her something is hurting him).

Rebekah - posted on 05/04/2011

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Keep praying... God will intervene. You and your family are in my prayers.

Victoria - posted on 05/04/2011

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Train a Child up in the way they should go & in the end they will not depart from it. This is found in Proverbs. The thing is, that with God it's never too late (until we die). Maybe you should start coming down on her a little harder. Maybe she shouldn't get everything she wants when she wants it & maybe you should start making harsher the consequences when she does display wrong attitude towards you & your husband.



We had similar problems when my step son lived with us, he was always very rude & disrespectful & on one occasion actually threatened me with physical violence. My husband didn't take it lightly and dealt very severely with him, he was banned from tv, computer, grounded from going out with friends & sometimes also had allowance stopped, depending on the situation. His behaviour did improve around our home, although only until his mother said she'd finally take him back to live with her, he was almost 17 when that happened, he'd been with his Dad since he was 6.



I will pray for you and your family.

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