Ex husband is attending the same church with me.

Candi - posted on 08/11/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My ex husband has decided to attend church where my daughter and I go and at first I was comfortable with it. Now, I'm not so sure. I really believe he is only there because my boyfriend goes with me and I and I think he wants to keep an eye on me. I'm also concerned that he may try to start trouble or stress out the relationship with my boyfriend. He even told our daughter that if my boyfriend hurts me and her that him and his family will take care of him. First of all, I don't think this needs to be shared with our daughter. Secondly, my boyfriends loves us both has treats us like queens. There is no reason for my ex to be so protected of us both, especially me. I can understand him wanting whats best for his daughter, but now my daughter loves my boyfriend and plays with him all the time. I really need some help on maybe how to do with my ex on this subject or maybe how to not let it get to me. I don't want this to hurt my daughter since she is happy that her daddy is coming to church. But, I don't like that this has me stressed and not wanting to go to church.

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Yours - posted on 08/27/2010

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I don't know what kind of church you go to or how anyone would react, but if it were my church and I were the pastor, I would want to know if an ex husband was stalking his wife at my church.

I would put (unknown to your husband) a wall of protection around you. Meaning, make sure the members understand he is capable (by the remark he made to your daughter) of hurting you perhaps or your boyfriend.

I don't think it's typical for a man to tell his daughter he's going to "take care of" his mother's boyfriend and family if he ever hurts her or her mother.



I just hope and pray for you, that you can continue to stay in church, and find the support you need from the members there.

Hopefully you have been going there long enough to feel you can approach your pastor about this situation.

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PRay, Pray, Pray some more. I know that it is stressing you out but try not to let it. Tell him (if you're comfortable doing so) how glad you are that he is attending but that he is making you uncomfortable. If he is truly going to learn he should understand and do what he can to stop you from being uncomfortable, if he's just there to keep an eye on and harass you- he'll get mad about it. Try not to argue over the subject- (it will just stress you more) If you need to you can always go to your priest or pastor or a church "elder" and ask them to intervene.
God Bless you and keep you strong.

Darcel - posted on 08/21/2010

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Joseph was sold to Egypt by his brothers for evil no good reasons. Years later God used Joseph to save a nation.

So my advice is to encourage your ex to continue to come to church. Explain that it is a positive Christian example for his daughter to see that although his parents are not together they are united with two things: raising her and serving God. You continue to pray for wisdom to deal with your ex (for I understand that attending the same church with your ex is uncomfortable to say the least) and pray that he converts his heart to Jesus.

Man does not always understand God's plans; your ex may mean to attend your church to watch you, but while he is there he will be listening and his heart may be convicted and he can turn his life to the Lord, and you (and your boyfriend) will be an afterthought.

If your ex doesn't convert, attending church to keep an eye on you will become inconvenient once the 2010 football season begins so he'll stop going to church around mid-October.

Either way, you win!

Candi - posted on 08/13/2010

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I believe this is just for a show. My boyfriend said he isn't going anywhere and knew from the beginning that my ex was still a part of my life because of our daughter. He just doesn't like the fact that my ex flirts with me while he is around. I can't say I blame him at all. I never noticed the flirting until my boyfriend pointed out to me. I'm so use to having ignore a lot of what my ex says, that it never struck me as flirting. I keep praying that this will all pass through. I think it's Satan's way of trying to get me out of church. I have been to a few different churches in the past. This is the only one where I have felt like I am home and I am actually involved in many different things in our church. Thanks for the advice.

Carla - posted on 08/13/2010

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I understand your feelings, nothing like having an ex, in church, no less! I really think this is a show, and he will get tired of it, sooner or later.

Pray, pray, pray. Satan wants to destroy you, God will protect, as long as you keep close to Him. Make sure boyfriend knows how you feel, and is on the same page. If he runs, he is not the one. If he stays through all this, ya got yourself a keeper!

God bless, honey

Tabitha - posted on 08/12/2010

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I think you should pray about it and as long as you believe God is protecting you and your daughter it will be fine. I say ignore the ex if he is going that is good for him and at least you know he knows what you want your daughter to know. which is the Word of God just stay focused on God and what you are being taught at church and not him. He was wrong even if he was being concerned to tell your daughter that he could have done it differently. Just pray and put God first and believe he will handle it and i believe he will. God bless

Stephanie Jo - posted on 08/11/2010

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Give all this to the Lord.Nothing is to small or big for him.Talk to someone at your church,ask for advice on how to handle this situation.There is a brotherinlaw and sisterinlaw (her husband died) they dont really get along,both love the Lord.They sit on opposite sides of the church.Try to ignore it if at all possible if you dont make a big deal and show him that you and your boyfriend are there for Jesus and no one else,he might figure it out him self.Hope everything works out.

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