Bec - posted on 03/10/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )
I am not sure why i am writing this. My husband and I worshiped and served in a church for ten years. We were, and have been, really devoted to God and the church over that time. We have led groups in Youth, children, home cells and music ministry. I say this not not to tell you who we have been but to merely point out that it was our life and everything that made us who we are. Our dreams and desires were based on God being the centre of our life, serving in his church and bringing up our 3 boys to be great Godly men.
However - our life has turned upside down and now we are lost. So lost. I am writing in the hope that someone will just hold us up in prayer or encourage or something - i dont even know what i am really looking for. Here is our story...
As mentioned above, my husband and i have been part of our church for 10 years and were very active members. Towards the last couple of years, we began to feel very burnt out, as well as having babies and still trying to manage it all. On top of that, we began to be the topic of gossip and having people talking behind our backs to the point where it pulled our leadership and our credibility down and it became impossible to lead. We stood down and continued to worship there, then our pastors left and new pastors took over, at which time we were asked to help out again. So we did, but unfortunately all the jealousies and nasty behaviour came back even stronger, and threaded its way to the top and we felt our new pastors had pre-judgments of us as they were asking us to be "the bigger people" and apologise for the sake of these people not leaving the church. This was all too much for us, and we contemplated leaving for a long time. As you can imagine, leaving a church you have been actively part of was a difficult decision, in a way it felt like we were driven out. And besides that, we had no where else to go. We decided that leaving was the better option as in the end, all the politics was taking our eyes off God and causing us to not focus on him - thats not what our life and desires were about so we took a hard turn and left. We have now been wandering for over 12 mths - its killing us!!!
We have looked for other churches here but just keep getting the feeling its time to move on - but how and where? We are hungry for a spirit-led and alive church.
If God told us to pick up and go somewhere - we would!! We just dont seem to be hearing anything and now we have no one around us of any influence or leadership - we are so alone and just not hearing anything.
IWe so deperatley want to be part of a church, somewhere we can set oursleves apart to live for God and be around people with a strong faith - also some great friendships. Please, please, if you read this, pray for us as a family - ask for direction and that we are able to hear from Him. Also, we both feel very low and discouraged and are having trouble seeing that our time has been worth it. We are ready to go anywhere, just need a vision and a direction or even a dream for a location.
We are so lost, so desperate, please pray..