Flirting Husband

Annah - posted on 07/20/2010 ( 109 moms have responded )

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I will realy want to know from other ladies, how do you handle the truth to find out your husbannd is flirting with other ladies, and he thinks nothing is wrong. you find out that he chat to other ladies on skype, facebook and tell them he is not married

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Too much "familiarity" with another woman, who is not your wife is not good. Why? because the affections, sympathies, and interest that should be bestowed upon the wife are given to another. If you have words of kindness and acts of courtesy to give, it is always safe to give them to your wife, whom who promised before God and angels to love, honor, and respect.

Christine - posted on 07/21/2010

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Having been married to someone who did this to me (now divorced) I would highly recommend you confront him (don't attack or give ultimatums such as stop or else) and share how it makes you feel when he does this sort of thing. I would then suggest y'all seek counseling or your marriage wont survive. There is no room in a marriage for this behavior, it is unhealthy and obviously painful! Every marriage has problem, if they don't get resolved you carry those problems into the next relationship so first try and work through it but don't condone the bad behavior. I do want to say this... Rebekah mentions to spice things up... I have to say I disagree with her if the reasons you are doing that is to get your husband to stop. Your husband should be just that, the man he committed to be when he made a vow with you. Problems or no problems you should keep the passion alive but you both obviously need to get counseling to correct this problem. Best of luck. Last but not least... PRAY and ask God to guide you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Polly - posted on 07/20/2010

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Just curious... but why are you willing to forget? Forgetting without solving the problem first will only result in additional problems and heartache down the road.

We are called to forgive, but we must also be wise.

Safiya - posted on 07/20/2010

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This is not flirting! Run...do not walk.. to a marriage counselor. This is a sign of danger. You and your hubby need to nip this in the bud before it blooms into serious trouble. It is hard but you can do it. Ask God for help and then go get help.

Rebekah - posted on 07/20/2010

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Hm, if I found out my husband was doing that, being the person that I am, I would laugh. I know that sounds weird, but it's true... those women won't compare to me, they don't know him like I do, and I'd see it as like I do with teenagers that get too flirty online, they are trying to make themselves feel good and get lost in a world of their own. Would I be hurt? Honestly, yes, but it would make me take a good hard look in the mirror - if one is wandering, it's because the other isn't paying enough attention in the flirty ways they need to boost their ego. Men have egos, but women also have desires... when they aren't met and keeps going that way, it can lead to a door that opens up flirting which can possibly lead somewhere else. If my husband was just flirting, I'd laugh, and then change up the marriage - a spontaneous night out, a love coupon, a flirty text, or something to spice the marriage back up, which then means less on the internet to flirt with someone else. If he didn't respond when I did those things, I'd seek marriage counseling, there is probably something deeper.

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Anne - posted on 05/15/2012

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Due to the age of this thread I am closing this thread. Thank you to any one that responded.

Lisa - posted on 05/13/2012

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happened to me. completely agree with your take on it. It is difficult to get them to stop when they don't think it is wrong to begin with and somehow make you believe that your distance played a part in them doing it. Can actually cause you to feel responsible for their bad behavior and you begin to convince yourself it is okay and you should just accept it. Then, it is just one thing or another that you know in your heart was their problem, but somehow you are taking the heat for it. Don't let this happen to you!! There was a point I was in such depression that I did the bare minimum for my children. Hated to hear the alarm clock sound in the am. Began to feel like a horrible mom, because they saw a tired, depressed mom that used to be so vibrant and happy. Did I want my kids to think this was the way to live? Absolutely not! But it is hard to escape this once you give in to taking on the blame for their behavior. It will kill your soul. Judging from what you have written, he is already doing this (telling you nothing wrong with it; saying he is not married) Please you deserve better! Your husband doesn't deserve you. There are many men that would adore you and you simply would not have that to deal with. It's all about respect. What he is doing is so disrespectful to you! Don't allow it. Dump him if he is not willing to do an about face, otherwise it will simply keep happening over and over and will come up in other aspects of your relationship. Nobody deserves to be loved by a husband and find that he doesn't claim he's married online. Girl, I saw some stuff. Emails, IM's, memberships to nsa sex sites, phone calls he had made on cell phone bill to other women. Of course, he never touched them. Who know? But for me, he didn't have to..Just reading that he told his online gf that she was the most refreshing person he had ever met and he went on and on about me being distant, (had seen stuff before). Then, when I found out, I had to leave my home for a few days to cool off. Couldn't even kick him out, because he had done nothing wrong, so he was not leaving. Said he would keep the kids while I left to cool off. His mother didnt want his kids uprooted again, bc their mother left and didnt see them. I am still going to therapy. You know, the funny thing, is I really loved him!

Gail - posted on 08/16/2010

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Annah, You have a lot of feed back here. You are asking for help, and being you are on the "Christian" mommies site, I would like to assume You believe in the Lord Jesus Christ yourself, but nothing in your statement claims where your husband is spiritually. But I will assume you are & desire what the Lord wants, so I will simply list some scriptures references for you you to go to and then pray for the Lords guidance.
Matthew 5:27--28;
1 Peter 3
1 Corinthians 7
(these of course are not exhaustive)
And keep in mind, we all sin and fall short of the glory of God so be sure to come before the Lord in all humility in regard to your attitude.
We all have a tendency to see someone else's sins and think little of those area's we are guilty of.
We as women for one are much motivated by "love"
men are motivated by "respect"... I myself have to have the Lord often show me "what that really means and how does that look... or translate to how my husband views this and of course seek the Lord to understand "His" perspective of what that looks like.
The Lord tells us in Psalm 139 how the Lord knows us and our thoughts each as individuals, this has comforted me often.. but when I first learned it, honestly it frightened me, Because He knew my thoughts and there was no place in my life He didn't see or know, then I realized I am not alone, He is there and He cares, to be that intimately connected to me.
This place you are in is hard!!! It creates insecurities for you. Knowing that God knows all your needs and cares and He knows your husband too... He is able to restore where the bridges are broken. He is a God of the impossible, but we must trust and lean on our Holy God. He will not abandon you. He is more faithful than any of us. He is our counselor... that is why knowing His word and that He is a God of our prayers we can find hope, where with men there is none.
I pray dear sister the Lord touch you, anoint you and carry you through this trial, to walk and talk as He would, to give you wisdom where you need it (James 1:5-8)
Check your heart, do you want to save your marriage or cast it off because you discovered a flaw, and how would you want to be treated if you were found falling short?
Address the sin? yes...
but with a gentle spirit.
This is never as simple as is noted... but our sin nature is our sin nature.. But also note when we do get that it is sin, we are ignorant. When the 10 commandments were given it did not save us, it pointed out our sin and our need for Christ & His salvation. When He was on the Cross, He said"forgive them Father for they know not what they do." We cannot expect righteousness from those who do not understand other than what the worlds standards are to "What is right".
May His grace carry you and lead you in what lays ahead.

Tabitha - posted on 08/12/2010

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Well he is definately wrong. But I would tell you to pray for God to take that lust out of his heart. It says in the Word that your husband can be saved by your prayers. Understand its gonna happen how and when God allows it to. But I believe if you pray for him and get other to and you believe for that change it can and will happen but God is capable of the biggest to the smallest things so don't look for it to happen a specific way just know that He is working and will definately answer your prayer Trust and believe in your heart and it will be done for you. God bless you.

Brenda - posted on 08/11/2010

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Adding to Jessica's reply, you could also send him little notes in his lunch or if he doesn't take lunch, put them in his clean pants pockets, and he will get them and it will make him think about you. Everyone always likes to feel good about themselves. It would be nice if the men would write little notes to their wives sometimes also, but that is very rare!
I can remember the old saying, "Kill them with kindness!" The movie I was talking about is "Fireproof". See if you can get your husband to watch it with you. If not watch it by yourself while he is home and maybe he will hear some of the most important parts of the movie. Watch it over and over again. I believe it was probably the best christian movie I have ever seen. In the movie they mention the book. Get the book and do what it says. It is a great book. Don't give up in the book, keep on keeping on!
I pray this will help you.

Jessica - posted on 08/10/2010

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I am so sorry. This happened to me and thankfully my husband has stopped now and our marriage is blessed due to it. I would bring him back through love. Don't yell and be patient.
You have to remind him why he married you. Please understand that in no way do I blame you, but this is a good way to make him stop. Write on his wall on facebook. Little love messages and perhaps cute things the kids do during the day. Helps make him "feel like the man" and makes your family real and in his mind as well as the women's minds.
Call him at work. Make him special dinner "just because". WIN him back.
May God bless you and your marriage.

Carla - posted on 08/10/2010

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Brenda, I am happy to see another success story come out of tragic circumstances. It just shows us that God is truly good!

Brenda - posted on 08/10/2010

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My opinion really isn't going to matter to you and the reason I know this is because I have been in your shoes. I knew my husband was a flirting person and he would even flirt while he was with me. My heart would hurt so bad. I would tell him how bad it hurt me for him to do this but it didn't seem to make any changes in him, so I figured he just didn't care.

I still stayed with him and we have been married for 42 yrs. now. He has become a christian and God has truly made some changes in him. Although, I must say he was a christian when he did this to me for many years. This man would always either walk behind me or in front of me, for him preferably behind me because I couldn't see what or who he was looking at. If he walked in front of me he could not help himself but to almost make a complete turn to look at a pretty woman. I just wonder sometime what the women thought of him doing this, knowing he was with me, I wonder if they felt the hurt for me or if they were just eating it up. I would often think about some of the women he would look at like this and wonder if their husbands were the kind that would get them home and beat them because he thought there was something going on between him and her. I just had a lot of thoughts about this. Even though I was hurting, I didn't leave him. Today, after probably about 10 good years with him out of the 42, I still would probably do this over again with him. Even though he did this, he was still a good person to his children. He took great care of them and he also provided a good place for us to live. It is sometimes hard what we got through, but we often have to sacrafice for what is best for our children. I do pray for you that your husband will soon find out what he really has and forget about talking and flirting with the other women that could care less about him. I remember one time when I thought my husband was seeing another woman, I told him, if she knows you are married and is doing this with you, do you think she would not do this TO you also? I also treated him really well, and with a lot of love and kindness during this time. In just a short time, but seemed like an eternity, he came around and I don't believe he has ever flirted with another woman. I think he started talking to our pastor about his problem. He eventually told me that he was sorry for all the things he had done to me. I pray your husband will talk to your pastor and see what he can do to help himself stop this crazy thing he is doing to you and even more so if there are children involved. Also there is a good movie about this, as well as a book that goes along with it. I am sure you have heard of it, the one with Kirk Cameron. I can't think of the name of it right now, but are very good and very helpful in a relationship. Maybe someone else can tell you the name of the book. You really need to get the book and see the movie! May God bless you and your husband soon in a great relationship together.

Svetlana - posted on 08/09/2010

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Wow good job! If you really want to know what he thinks that's def a way to find out. I hope everything turns out alright, maybe go together on a Weekend To Rmember conference, I've heard very great results from people that went there. I'll be praying for you,,,

Roberta - posted on 08/08/2010

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tear tear tear, I know the feeling but trust me when I say, He will REAP what he SOWS...I actually am on a site that he has and send emails claiming to be someone interested in him to see how or if he responses and when he does...I will be able to tell the next woman how I handled it.

Svetlana - posted on 08/03/2010

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If he is saying that he's not married - that's not a good sign. Seems to me that he's looking for some spice in his life. My husband agrees on this with me. I would look at the relationship closer and see what changed, and work towards getting closer. If you ask your husband with love, and tell him that you won't punish him later for this, but ask him what he's missing and needing. Chances are he'll tell you what's bothering him and why he's reaching out to other females. Hope God gives you strength! God Bless!

Jacqui - posted on 08/02/2010

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If you know for a fact he is doing this then I would think the best plan would be to explain how hurt you feel about this. If he does not want to see that it is damaging then I would try and suggest that you have some councilling as your marriage is extremely important to you and you don't want to lose him. Try not to point the finger at him, just talk about how it is affecting you but without feeling victimised

Sheryl - posted on 08/02/2010

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you know with us ladies and i am sure more ladies we could have a book. sounds like alot of us have been through this one time or another.

Carla - posted on 08/02/2010

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I actually feel sorry for him, Ruth. I hope the 'comfort' he gets out of having a biological child is worth losing you, losing his mother, and losing Jesus. You truly do reap what you sow.

Ruth - posted on 08/02/2010

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Hi Everyone,
My husband is insistant on getting a divorce, and talked with his Mom. She told him that if he insists on continuing like this then she wants himout of her home because she has given her life and home to God and she will not toleerate his actions while in her home. He asked her if she was serious and what about me. She told him that she is serious and that I am welcome to stay until she dies because I didn't do anything wrong. He said would if he gets remarried and wants to bring his wife and kids to visit. She told him that they are not welcome in her home. As far as I know he is still planning to move on and make a new life. She said go ahead but remember you reap what you sow. His Mom and I are still praying.

Kristi - posted on 08/02/2010

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If you don't know for sure, I would confront him and ask about it...see how he reacts. If I knew for sure, I would lecture him...then silent treatment. Haha...I am the type to quote the Bible and let him know right/wrong - although I'm sure he already knows....but sometimes people need to be reminded of it. It is definitely not right to flirt with other women....my husband is on some chat rooms and talks to women in there, but as a member of the group, not to any particular woman, so I don't mind...I am secure in my marriage and know he is not 'flirting.' But if he were, it's only a few short steps away from adultery - and even if he imagines himself with another woman he has committed adultery in his heart, so he needs to be put in check. If this is the case, see if he would consider counseling and see if you can help fix the problem from your side....good luck - say lots of prayers!!

Tricia_080361 - posted on 08/02/2010

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i've been in that situation twice, but with God's grace, He allows me to know about my husband's activities regarding flirting to other women and so with a right approach and God's intervention, i rebuke the work of evil in my husband thoughts and action. and truly enough before anything worst happens, my husband back into his senses. To other wives who feels that there's wrong in their husband, allow the Holy Spirit to guide you, though it is painful to know that your husband's eye is not focus on you, just pray and ask for God's intervention regarding this matter.

Stephanie Jo - posted on 07/31/2010

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Ruth and Annah have you all read the love dare,it is great and so is the movie. Keep praying and let the Lord lead and guide you. I am so sorry that things are not working. Take care.

Cynthia - posted on 07/30/2010

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Have you ever heard of Paul and Jenny Speed? I would encourage you to look up their website. There conference "whatever it takes" is an amazing road. been there done that and hope others will too. Blessings to you to find truth in your marriage and for you both to find freedom and renewed love in each other. Lust is a very difficult addiction according to the Bible.

Roxanne - posted on 07/30/2010

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Mark Gungor , (Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage),has great advise on this.

Ruth - posted on 07/30/2010

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Thanks again, and I think that I already knew what I was going to do I just needed someone to back me up on my decision. I know one day he will realize what he did and with his mom, and aunt and all of you I know I will pull through. I will keep in touch.
God Bless

Carla - posted on 07/30/2010

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rof! That a baby!

There are consequences to every decision, and he is going to taste them. I think you need to spend some serious prayer time until you know what the Spirit says about this. God moves in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform. He cannot stop free will; I do know that my prayers changed both my husband and me. If this is what he truly wants, go the cheap way. No one but God knows what can happen for you two, but if he goes ahead with this, you have Biblical grounds, and you can remarry. But remember this, and pick a strong Christian for your next one. I pray strength, courage, faith and comfort for you, sweetheart.

Keep in touch, God bless.

Paulette - posted on 07/30/2010

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Girl, just trust God and place all your4 circumstances in his hand for He never fails us.

Ruth - posted on 07/30/2010

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You thought you were speechless on this one. Wait til he finds out I cancelled his health ins. and told his life ins agent that he wants a divorce so if I am not the policy holder then I want that taken off my account too. Boy I'll have so much money after I cancel all of his accounts that are paid through my checking acct. I'll have to take a vacation. What do you think? Oh! He got an app from a lawyer who does uncontested divorces for $45. Problem, I told him I won't contest if we talk to a priest or counselor first. He said ok, but knowing him he won't. Should I stick to my agreement and cause debt for myself or should I just let him do it since its going to happen anyway?

Carla - posted on 07/30/2010

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OMG, Ruth, I am absolutely speechless on your last post. He's lonely? I don't even know what else to write, I am speechless! Hang in, kid.

Jama - posted on 07/30/2010

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I would have to agree with "Rebekah Survance"... good response! This is such an unfortunate situation, and very delicate. But I agree with the advice she gave you. Good Luck and God Bless!

Ruth - posted on 07/30/2010

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I already asked him and he just said that he would leave me if that's what I wanted, but you know he just said that because that's what he wants. We talked a little last night because I ignored him all day yesterday and he didn't like it because he said he was lonely. I asked How does it feel? Then I told him that I did it to distance myself from him since he doesn't make since because he wants me there until he gets a call or email. I told him that he is strange because of him telling me that he doesn't want me, he wants a divorce but he wants me there.

Carol - posted on 07/30/2010

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I wonder what his reaction would be if it was you doing the same. Would he think its innocent? I personally believe in treating others as i would expect or want them to treat me,so in your case if he would feel different if it was you then he should stop.

Susie Villarama - posted on 07/29/2010

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Hi Carla you are funny when you said " do not trade-in your 40 to a pair of 20's , but it's true .... I pray to God that He give you wisdom and understanding Anna and i believe He will do it for you. just pray hard to seek the true meaning of LOVE> God be with you always.

Ruth - posted on 07/29/2010

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Thanks Carla. I do believe that the Holy Spirit guided me that day that I answered Annah's email because I haven't checked my emails for a whileand something told me to go on that day. I was wondering how Annah is doing and I want to thank everyone for being a good friend, and helping me through. I still hurt but I know with the support of good friends and family I will get through. I will let you all know what happens.

Carla - posted on 07/29/2010

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I agree completely that asking you to be friends when they have torn your life to shreds is completely assinine! My husband actually asked me to remain friends with my dear friend who fed me pain pills to put me out while flirting outrageously with my husband! Needless to say, I did not take him up on the offer.

If he is taunting you with the details of their affair, he is trying to hurt you. Been there, done that. He left. However, that is not the end to the story, and over the next six months, we realized that even though we had been horrible to each other, that we couldn't live without each other. God is good.

You cannot live with someone breaking your heart on a constant basis. Your getting away this weekend is good. We are to be the cherished mate, not a door mat. Pray, seek God, and have some you time. The Holy Spirit will lead you.

God bless, Ruth, keep us informed.

ps: Isn't it funny Annah started this, but Ruth is the one in trouble? Not funny ha-ha, but funny, God brings around conversations that will help someone in need!

Ruth - posted on 07/29/2010

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That is exactly what I told him, and I am having a peaceful day. I haven't even talked to him except to say yes or no at mealtime.

Rachel - posted on 07/29/2010

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I found some sketchy sites on my husbands browser and I questioned him. I let him know that I don't appreciate that kind of thing. Be honest with him and if he respects you he will stop.

Julie - posted on 07/29/2010

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My ex husband actually had the audacity to ask me to be his friend. No "friend" does what these men do. Why would you want to be friends with someone who is treating you so badly? If they can't treat you right as a husband, they are incapable of being your friend.

Ruth - posted on 07/29/2010

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Hi Deborah, Your situation is a lot like mine. I have never denied him anything and still he is ignoring the fact that what he is doing is wrong. Last night I told him that if he doesn't want me as his wife then he can't have my friendship either. I wish I could still be friends but I decided that I need to break away completely because as friends he was telling me everything they were talking about and planning. This hurt more than the fact that our marriage is ending.

Deborah - posted on 07/29/2010

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To be honest, I feel really identified with you, my husband won't say he's single, he says we're about to get divorced... guess what? Because of this game he started, now we're getting divorced for real..... and I'm not saying this to demotivate you, but sometimes when someone is not being honest and loyal to you, to be apart could be your best solution cus then the trust you had on him before... it will never come back... and usually men, when they do it once, they´ll do it again down the road.

In my case, it was not me who took the desition, or its not because of another woman the reason why we´re splitting... I guess he realized that he was doing that because he really wanted to be with someone else.

I'm not sad or dissapointed, I actually feel good cus we won't be fighting anymore and the girls won't be so uncomfortable being in the middle.

You need to get your life back, sometimes men think they can treat you they way they want because they have control over you, maybe because you depend on them economically, but once they see you getting your life back, they will realize how stupid they were and they will try to get back with you.

Don't take this as a bad signal... anything could happen, just be strong and take whatever it comes but that has to be good for you and your family, otherwise, discard it.

Carrie - posted on 07/29/2010

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First, I would like to say that what he is doing is definitely wrong.

Secondly, if you have talked to him, maybe he has some needs that you aren't fulfilling for him? If you can talk to him about what he gets out of it, maybe you can help him not be tempted.

That is actually why we aren't to deny our husbands (or wives) sex...so that we won't be tempted. But it could be, that he needs a lot of compliments or attention--maybe you could fill his needs for flirting by flirting with him? Read the 5 languages of love, if this would help.

Having said that...he may have some holes in his heart--or sins he hasn't dealt with--that only God can take care of. I know from experience, that the only thing we wives can really "do" is lay at the throne of Jesus and go in intercession for our husbands. I have amazing testimonies of what God has done in my marriage when I let Him take care of the problems I can't do anything about.

Yolanda - posted on 07/29/2010

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Proverbs 4: 4 "Wisdom is the principal thing: therefore get wisdom and with all thy getting get understanding" (KJV) I urge you to go to God before you approach him again and seek wisdom on how to go about talking to him again so that you are in a state of calm and peace in God to listen to what he says and accept. Yes, it is very alarming that your husband is doing such things and that he thinks it is fine. However, it is very important that you two come to an understanding of what is wrong at the very foundation of this issue. That may mean that you and him have something that needs to be worked on once you get to the root of the problem but you can't allow your flesh to handle this thing...you must give to God. So this is why I say seek God 1st and let him direct you.

It is an ugly thing when marriages develop problems but there is nothing too hard for God but we must seek his wisdom. This may be your husbands cry for help but he doesn't know how to talk about all that is on his heart. No one but God knows what's going on with him. Remember, none of us are perfect and without sin in the eyesight of God, but his grace and mercy forgives us each day.

So seek God and ask him to prepare your heart, as well as your husband's, and ask Him to reveal all that is going on. But be prepared and only God can truly prepare you.

Lani - posted on 07/28/2010

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PS
God is going to restore you completely. He is going to give you more than you asked or imagined. Your future is sure when you remain in faithful to Him. :-) God works in mysterious ways. Expect God to surprise you this weekend and the next few weeks. :-)

Lani - posted on 07/28/2010

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You are welcome my dear. Allow God to comfort you. Surrender everything to Him and trust in Him completely. Also, learn to be grateful that things are not worse. It doesn't mean you put up with your husband's behavior, it means that you still see things positively and don't lose hold of the joy and peace that God gives you. DO NOT allow the enemy to steal your joy and peace my dear. God is our GREATEST REWARD, TREASURE and SECURITY. He is the only one who can give us PERFECT LOVE. Let us be more dependent on God than our husbands. I love you my dear. My prayers will be with you and the kids. Have fun this weekend. God wants you to relax and enjoy. Shake off any negativity. Just don't give it power to take your joy and peace. In Jesus' name. Amen. :-)

Amanda - posted on 07/28/2010

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Talk to him immediately!! Counsel with someone right away also. Think of your children and how you are trying to raise them. What would they think if they ever found out what your husband is doing? Take care of the flirting right away!

Tricia - posted on 07/28/2010

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Funny, I just read about this to my boys tonight while reading our Bible together. Matthew 6:27-30 says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." If you are both believers, this is a good way to approach the subject. We've been talking all summer with our Youth at church about inking ourselves with various things, like compassion, love, forgiveness, etc. God did all of this for us and we in turn need to give back to others, not just in what we say, but what we do. If he's a Christian, this verse will help him to realize that he is not honoring God, nor setting a good example for those non-believers who are watching his every move to see if his faith is really as he says it is. Good luck.

Vanessa Sheila - posted on 07/28/2010

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In marriage there are always trials,problems and challenges and one of them is your husbands infidelity..In my experience it isnt easy to know that your hubby is flirting infact flirting may lead to another thing which is very true..Although we can't always be on guard to them 24/7 but try to bring it up somewhere when both of you are alone and of good moods..You have to talk about alot of things even nonsense topics so anything could come and surely you will know some of his activities.Let him be more open to you but less and different reaction from you to every topic..Be understanding sometimes but not to lenient..Be strict but be oen for suggestion..Its a matter of constant communication could we gain a stronger bond to our husbands so they may not go astray..Temptation is always there in every corner but if both of you have strong bond to each other noone can ever break that..And always put God first in the center of your marriage and family..Thank you reading hope I could find a place for advice..God bless!!

Ruth - posted on 07/28/2010

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Thanks Lani, You said everything that my Mom-in-law and I talked about but seeing it hit home. I had a good cry and I am off to see my family for the weekend. Thanks again. Love u2 sis.
God Bless,
Ruth

Ruth - posted on 07/28/2010

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That's the problem when I did try to talk he'd clam up. Then he finally admitted that he wants his own child as i said before I had a hysterectomy and he knew all this, and I did everything that you mentioned. He just laughs. And now he is telling me everything they write to each other, and when they call him. He has no compassion or respect.

Jennie - posted on 07/28/2010

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Don't put up with that. Obviously, he is looking to do things on the side and hes also disrespecting you.

Sue - posted on 07/28/2010

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How old is he? I know age is no excuse, but he could be going through a mid life crisis. There might be something deeper going on here than you know. When people seek out the opposite sex when they are married, this usually means that something is missing for them, something is not being satisfied. You need to talk to him and ask questions, tell him this is unacceptable to you and use the what ifs - if you were doing the same, how would he respond.
Some guys don't know when they are flirting, they are "dumb" in this area, but to tell the other women he is not married or to leave this out, he is looking for something. You guys really need to talk, if not alone, then with a counselor

Lani - posted on 07/28/2010

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Well, this has revealed what's trully in his heart. He has disrespected first and foremost God, then, you and your marriage my dear. I am sorry about that. But it seems God has revealed to you this truth, it's for a reason. Ask God to show you the way. Put your efforts in being independent. Save money. Have allies. Relatives who can help you out and your kids. Trust in God's provision and concern for you and your kids. He loves you soo much he doesn't want you deceived for long. Most people don't learn when they don't feel the pain of the consequence of their action. You have to show to your husband that you mean what you say, and if he really doesn't get his act together and repent to God and to you, then he has to face that his marriage, and his relationship with you and the kids are going to be badly affected by his actions. Don't say too many words, act on what you want to say more. I am praying for you. I believe in you. You are very valuable to God. Don't allow anyone to disrespect you this way. Ask God for strength and the wisdom to do things at the right time. My prayers are with you. Love you sis. :-) YOu are more than a conqueror. You can do this!

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