Help explaining a blended family....

Kristen - posted on 01/06/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hello all...happy new year! I too have a blended familly. My husband has a 5 1/2 year old from a previous marriage and we welcomed our own son to the world this past August. I love my blended family but could use some advice. No one has really taken the time to explain the divorce situation to my step-daughter? Her mom remarried when she was very young and thinks her stepdad is her real dad. My husband is as involved as he can be (his daughter lives 8 hours away) we get her at least one weekend a month and for longer periods when school is on break. I think the longer we wait the harder it will be for her to process as well as feeling lied to by the same people we tell her to trust. She is very smart and realizes that she has a unique family but she is also very curious. The books I have found deal with divorce happening now (they separated shortly after they found out they were pregnant) or puts alot of blame on the dad for the divorce. I have been looking for books that have a Christian spin letting her know God still loves her and her parents and that it's ok to now have 2 sets of parents. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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Mandy - posted on 01/06/2009

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I'm not sure of any books. What I can tell you is my situation and maybe that could help. I divorced my sons dad when he was barely 2. I remarried when he was almost 4. I didn't know the Lord until my son was 2. I tell him that sometimes when people don't know the Lord they can make the wrong choices. I tell him that God already has our spouses picked out for us and when I married his dad it wasn't what God had wanted so it was harder for us to work things out to stay together. I also make sure he knows that God has a plan for him no matter what and that he is very blessed to have not only his dad but a great stepdad as well. I have been very blessed that my son and his stepdad have a great relationship. My son is now 8 and he doesn't tell people he has a stepdad he always says he has 1 dad and 1 papa. We talk a lot about following Gods will and we pray that he will marry the one that the Lord has chosen. I also talk to him about me and his stepdad following the Lord and now that he is older he says he can see the difference in our relationship then in the ones his dad has had. (his dad is not a believer). I hope this helps you some. God bless, I will pray for you and your family. Mandy

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