Homosexuality & our kids

Karen - posted on 04/08/2010 ( 28 moms have responded )

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My 15 yr. old nephew just told his parents he is gay. I posted this question on a different thread - thought it was the Christian mom's. Wow! That opened a can of worms! Would like some loving advise on this. Also what does the bible really say about homosexuality? Neither my sis-in-law nor I know the bible very well. His family loves him, we are not judging him. Scared for him - yes - for what this could bring to him. We also have a brother who is gay - so we are not new to this.
Thank you.

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Heather - posted on 04/10/2010

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The Bible says that God hates divorce too. We have a forgiving God, and if we repent, He can and will change us. However if we love Him, we will love His holy Word. Jesus is the Word. We can't claim to love Jesus and not care what the Bible says about it. I totally believe that God forgives anyone who asks Him to forgive them, but we have to humbly come to Him and ask for forgiveness. I'm not trying to be mean, but that is what the Bible says, and knowing what the Bible says is important. There are Christians all over the world who long for Bibles, it hurts me that we have such access to them, but take them for granted...

Darcel - posted on 04/08/2010

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Just a question: if you do not know where the scriptures are in the bible, then how do you know homosexuality is a sin? Are you taking some elses word for it or where you raised believing this is a sin and never questioned or studied it?

I know where the scriptures are, but it is my reading of scripture that gives me a conviction about homosexuality. How can a Christian have a religous conviction against something, and not have a basic knowledge of the scriptures about the conviction?

The lack of foundation regarding this religous conviction concerns me more than the 15 yr olds comming out. If you want to study this on your own get a concordance and study the following:

Love
Patience
Peace
Charity

Then you can study:
sodomite
vile/unnatural affections
strange flesh.

Finally remember that you are required to love that boy, even if you don't agree with him.

Victoria - posted on 04/08/2010

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I do firmly believe that the bible says homosexuality is a sin. And the only sin that keeps you out of an eternity with Christ is unrepented sin. So someone who doesn't turn from it and ask forgiveness. If you're living a homosexual life style when you die then you're likely not spending eternity with God.

The bible also tells us Not to judge those of the world but only to correct those within the body of believers and expel the immoral brother (or sister). If they are professing to be believers then they need to be told about their sin clearly albeit in a loveing manner and that continuing in it means eternal separation from Christ. If they are not professing to be believers then what is it to do with us. Read 1 Corinthians 5.

Tanna - posted on 04/19/2010

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First of all, if you want to quickly look up a topic in the bible, a great website is Bible Gateway.com You can search different bible versions and search by topics.



This is my belief, I believe that what the bible says is true. It states that homosexuality is a sin, not the only sin, but it is sin. Christians are still sinners, but we are forgiven, all we have to do is ask for forgiveness and we will receive it.



Satan is wonderful at convincing us that one sin is bigger than another but the bible says that sin is sin. He also loves it when we justify sin to meet our wants.



I agree that we are not to judge others because if you look at Matt. 7:3-5 (NKJV), it says:

3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.



We do have to be careful on how we approach someone about sin. We are to pray about it first and be sure to follow God's word.

Rebekah - posted on 04/13/2010

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What does the Bible say about homosexuality?



Well, let's take a look:



1 Corinthians 6:9-10

"Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived (misled): neither the impure and immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality, Nor cheats (swindlers and thieves), nor greedy graspers, nor drunkards, nor foulmouthed revilers and slanderers, nor extortioners and robbers will inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God."



1 Corinthians 6:13

"You say, 'Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.' (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can't say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies."



1 Corinthians 6:18

"Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body."



Ephesians 5:3

"Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people."



Colossians 3:5

"So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust and evil desires. Don't be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshipping things of this world."



Leviticus 18:22

"Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin."



Leviticus 20:13

"If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense."



That last verse, in other translations it says "they have chosen their own deaths". Meaning the life they choose is a path of spiritual death - for they will not enter the kingdom of heaven.



Now, is homosexuality the unforgivable sin??? NO!!! The only sin that is unforgivable is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Homosexuality is a sin. But God will forgive this lifestyle, IF a person is willing to renounce the lifestyle and live by God's commandments.



My advice to you is PRAY! I truly believe you can have the faith to pray for your brother and your nephew and BELIEVE that God will set them free from their sinful lifestyle. Should you treat them different? No. You should love them, just as the Bible says. Should you condemn them? No - ye, without sin cast the first stone (I highly doubt you can say you are without sin.) Should you condone the lifestyle? No - this would be in direct conflict of God's Word. We can't believe in the Word, if we are going to condone what is contrary to the Word.



I will be lifting up your nephew and brother in prayer - not an easy road these two have chosen.

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Valerie - posted on 06/09/2011

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Leviticus 20:13

13"'If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

NIV
Romans 1:26-27

26For this reason God gave them up to degrading passions. Their women exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural, 27and in the same way also the men, giving up natural intercourse with women, were consumed with passion for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the due penalty for their error.

NRSV
1 Timothy 1:8-10

8Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it legitimately. 9This means understanding that the law is laid down not for the innocent but for the lawless and disobedient, for the godless and sinful, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their father or mother, for murderers, 10fornicators, sodomites, slave traders, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to the sound teaching

Valerie - posted on 06/09/2011

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Leviticus 20:13

13"'If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

NIV

Erin - posted on 04/13/2010

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No one is born gay, that is a lie from the enemy, and he has so many people deceived by it. A lot of people are terrified that they think they are gay, but it is the result of sin that causes this confusion. This world is very corrupt and satan is cunning and manipulative. We need to be in constant prayer for those that are being deceived. And of course we are still to love those people, but the bible also says that we are to hate the sin of homosexuality. The bible is very clear on this topic, although many people try to twist the scriptures and make them mean what they want them to, the bible is the word of God and it does not contradict itself. Read Romans chapter 1.

Jade - posted on 04/13/2010

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homosexuality is not cool, many people go their entire lives terrified because they are gay. i dont think there is anything easy about being gay. it is NOT a choice. peace and love, accaptance, and truth and understanding, how can we judge something we dont understand?

Candace - posted on 04/13/2010

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The book of Leviticus talks of this. I will look that verse up today and get back with you. I'm very sad to hear this, I feel like Satan is running around like crazy trying to get kids so confused about the truth that even homosexuality seems cool or the thing to do?....Hang in there.

Heather - posted on 04/12/2010

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I agree that Christ died so that we could have a relationship with Him, however we are also not suppose to stand for false doctrine, and telling someone that it is okay to do something that the Bible says is wrong is being a false teacher. The Bible warns against that as well. Please ladies, let's focus on God's word please. I don't want this to be an argument, but I also do not want to encourage false teaching, or false doctrine.

I have been to that website Sarah, I felt uneasy the minute I opened it. The amount of evil radiating out of my computer was atrocious! Even thinking about the site is making me sick to my stomach, and I didn't even spend enough time there to read much. I opened it by accident a few weeks ago and before I even knew what the site was I knew it was wrong!

ROCIO - posted on 04/11/2010

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well hi, yeah this is very hard topic to talk about specially when is a family member. I also have a brother who's gay. is sad and scary because I know what's going to happend if he dies and doesn't fix him self with God! I love him but the only thing can do is keep paying for him....I told him that Jesus loves him but doesn't love his acts. so he needs to fix his life with the creator (Jesus Christ) or else it's not gonna be pretty for him when he dies....but the only thing I can say is...let's keep praying for this confused man and woman that one Day see the light and the True!!! hope this help...God Bless You!

Jade - posted on 04/11/2010

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but it also says in the Bible that God made us in His image. i am not one of those people who believe that being gay is a choice, just like people dont choose to be straight, many people dont even WANT to be gay, but are. so if people are born gay then God must have made them this way. and only God knows why and we are not called to judged, but to love.

Dee Anne - posted on 04/11/2010

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I don't have much advice, except to love your nephew unconditionallly. I know that homosexuality isn't God's plan for us, but many of us run from God and make our own plan. Keep loving him and praying for and with him.

Sarah - posted on 04/11/2010

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Lacy I am from the South as well, and my pastor certainly does not skirt around the homosexual issue, but it is not the only issue he teaches on. The Bible states that homosexuality is an abomination to be exact and also that life does begin at conception. That even while we are in the womb he knew us. I do study the Bible and not only does it offer me insight into his "punishment or redemtion" as you say, but it teaches me God does not punish, he corrects and he offers us grace to accept things we can not change. We are to love everyone, but not every action and if as Christians we do not tell the sinner about their sin then we are not doing our job. No I am not saying preach and hold crosses and holy water over their heads, but in a calm rational way, we must state our beliefs and show them scripture to back up those beliefs. The Bible says also not to forsake assembly, it is what strengthens me each week. Being in a group of believers is wonderful and although they are not perfect, and we all still sin the unity in Christ is Awesome. Sin is sin, their is no degree.. but to live in constant sin is in conflict of the Holy Spirit. I know if I commit a sin, I am convicted and I repent and move on and try not to commit that sin again. Those living in homosexuality can not be in accord with the Holy Spirit or God, it simply is impossible. Gentle correction for the 15 year old and hopefully he will grow out of this stage. No one is born like this for we are all created in God's image and he hates such things. Good Luck!

Erin - posted on 04/10/2010

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Hi Karen, well this is one of those difficult topics to deal with! I will tell you that I am a Christian, and believe in the Bible as the holy word of God. The bible clearly states in the old and new testament that homosexuality is a sin. God calls it an abomination. I would encourage you to read the book of Romans, chapter 1. Verses 26-27 say: For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the PENALTY OF THEIR ERROR WHICH WAS DUE. I capitalized that part because it is saying that there will be consequences for those sins. I also personally believe that the "penalty" the bible talks about is HIV, AIDS, etc. Another verse is 1 Corinthians 6:9 which says that homosexuals (among others listed) will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. I will definitely be praying for your nephew. Young people these days get pulled into so many different directions, and deal with so many temptations that it gets very overwhelming and confusing. If you would like any other verses or just need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message anytime! You and your family are in my prayers.

Lacy - posted on 04/10/2010

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I am not one to study the bible but I am one to believe that God loves you and gave you the will to choose your path. I believe that these children can learn to love someone and also love the lord no matter what their sexual belief is. You are supposed to love anyone and everyone. That is the main thing God talks about. To be honest I am from the south and the main reason I have stopped attending churches down here is because every sermon has to be about how GAYS ARE BURNING IN HELL and ABORTION IS MURDER. These children need real guidance not just lectures. I am not Gay but I do not see the problem in that person being with whomever makes him or her happy and treats them right. Nothing deviant. I always hear how Gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage but to be honest every gay couple i have heard about being married have enjoyed long loving lifes aside from a few. That number however is just a mere shadow of heterosexual divorces. Does God like Divorces as much as Gays? There are ALOT of things that even the most Devout have no say in and are unable to repent. We can be sorry for that and move on and hope it doesn't happen again. So we really have no power over anyone else so why waste your breathe in tellin the other they are so wrong. God's job is to give punishment or redemption not you or me. These kids that are born that way, and believe me I grew up around kids that since the day they started to walk they had a swish in their step, they need help to still find God becase whats to say God will not give a child of the lord redemption one day even if they made one choice they decided not to change but in the end their choice never truly hurt, destroyed, or killed anyone you dont think our Lord who is a forgiving Lord would forgive them if they truly believed in his love and compassion?

Anne - posted on 04/09/2010

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I also agree with Heather. I have a friend from high school that is
"gay" I say him at his brothers home last summer with his partner. He assured me that he was happy. However I could see it in his eyes how empty his eyes looked. I knew this friend when he was on Fire for God. The difference was startling. I have said it before and again I truly believe that satan has dished out such convincing lies that are then feed to people looking to fill their heart with what they think is love. My heart goes out to him and the whole gay community. Yes it is so very important to love our family and friends that are gay or living in any other type of sin. Because Jesus died for all of us while we were yet sinners.

Meena - posted on 04/09/2010

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we will be studing this topic in our sabbath school class tomorrow and i'll get back on this tomorrow hope i'll be a help

Colleen - posted on 04/08/2010

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Mark 18-23 .... What comes out of a man is what makes him unclean. For from within, out of men's heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality....

Colleen - posted on 04/08/2010

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Our society tries to blend the lines that God has drawn on sexuality. Society says it's fine to sleep with someone -- of any gender -- as long as you are careful, care about each other or it makes you happy. He created us and has drawn lines for our good. He designed sex to be enjoyed only between a husband and a wife. Any variation be it premarital or homosexualis a sin/ sexual immorality.
That said, we each have an area of weakness that Satan uses to tempt us, and when someone sins we should not turn a cold shoulder to them but encourage them the best we can. In these situations I believe honest support is best. Openly tell the family member what you believe and why, yet emphasis that you love them and will always be a part of their life. Also if he's Christian that he's the only one who will know his relationship with Chrsit. Then keep them in prayer and truely believe God will work in their life.

[deleted account]

The Bible says that homosexuality is a sin and there are logical steps to explain it. It is not the attraction to a person that is the sin, but the action you take after it.



The Bible says that sex is to be solely between a married couple.

The Bible says that a marriage is between a man and a woman.

The Bible says that sex between unmarried people is a sin.



There's a great article explaining things better than I can. It's a bit long, so I'll paste a bit of it. the link is after the blip.



The argument that we meet now is the “they were born that way,” natural orientation argument. In other words, the issue is not what homosexuals do but what they are. The terms “sexual preference” used in the 70’s and 80’s revealed too much of an exercise of personal choice. Now the issue concerns “sexual orientation,” a much more clinically sounding term that points to biology, nature. I admit that sorting through all this “orientation” stuff is not easy. There is no scientific consensus that homosexuality originates in genes, or parental influences, or cultural conditioning, or any combination thereof.



As a fallen creature, it doesn’t surprise me that my physiological and psychological proclivities render me liable to certain sins more than others. Psalm 58:3 The wicked are estranged from the womb, these who speak lies go astray from birth. Scripture teaches me that I am a “natural” liar. In my now fallen nature, I am born with an inbred orientation to lie. Lying may come naturally to me, but “to lie” is still an act, a behavior which is measured by God’s moral law. The act of lying is not rendered less immoral simply because the Bible tells me that I’m a natural-born liar. No, I’m naturally born in real trouble. Both my fallen nature and my sinful acts render me blame-worthy before a holy God. I need to be saved, big time!



Could a man, in this fallen state, have an inbred orientation to homosexuality? That’s where the debate rages. But is not homosexuality constituted by one’s sexual acts? Do not homosexual acts first serve to identify the homosexual who only after indulging in such activity has warrant to even ask “Was I born this way?” What pattern of sin, sexual or otherwise, is not traceable to our fallen nature? If we were not sinful, we would not sin. Who of us does not go astray from birth into various patterns of sin?



Here's the link. copy and paste it then remove the spaces. Sorry I couldn't get it to work otherwise.

http:// reformedbaptistfellowship.wordpress.com/2009/02/16/hey-don’t-say-gay/

Sheryl - posted on 04/08/2010

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one on was thinking! theres a few more too. like heather said let you know you love them no matter what but not the sin.

Julie - posted on 04/08/2010

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Heather found the verse that I was thinking of. It was the one that hit me hardest when I started studying it after I found out about my dad.

Just as a point of interest from the other viewpoint, when I was talking to my dad about it once, his justification that homosexuality was okay was supported by the fact that Jesus himself was never recorded saying anything specificly regarding homosexuality, so all the references against it in the Old Testament were replaced by the new covenant. Of course, I don't agree with that, as it is still clear in the New Testament that homosexuality is a sin (i.e. Heather's reference), but thought it was interesting to hear how they try to justify it.

Heather - posted on 04/08/2010

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I started going into a whole long list of places where the Bible tells us that God designed marriage to be between a man and a woman, but when it comes down to it, one passage sticks out to me that I really wanted to share:



1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (New American Standard Bible)

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.



This being said, I totally agree with what has been said before me about loving your family through this. We are to judge those in the church, not those outside. Sin is sin, and if they don't know our Lord and Savior, then it doesn't matter what their sin is. Let them know you don't support the sin, but you will love them no matter what, just as Jesus does.

Maureen - posted on 04/08/2010

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My guess is you were on the Republican moms site previously.

Congratulations to your nephew on having the courage to talk to his parents.

Congratulations to your sibling on having an open, honest and non judgemental relationship with their son that allowed him to be honest with them. Scared. Yes, it is horrible how society treats anyone viewed as outside a strict outdated ideals.

Hoping your nephew will find a wonderful partner to share his life with - as I am sure you do also. Hoping your nephew will be allowed to stand in front of his friends, family and community to declare who he wants to spend his life with.

Sheryl - posted on 04/08/2010

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the bible does say god didn't not creat adam& steve. i have to look for it. here a in lil bet. but i did see it! me personal what i would do it still him you love them but think it is wrong. but you'll still respect them and care for them. just like you have for your brother. no one want to see there love on sin like something like this but god did give choose an unfortanly poeple may choose what the bible say is wrong. this is just what i was tought and learned from reading the bible. but buy any mine does that mean it ok to be hersh if any thing we need to just pray for them. i guess that just how i feel.

Julie - posted on 04/08/2010

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I don't think I have much advice to offer, just support. My dad came out as a homosexual when I was a teenager. It was really hard on all of us. I firmly believe that the Bible states that homosexuality is wrong. I wish I had time to look up some verses for you on that; I'll come back on later when I have more time.



I don't judge my dad for his lifestyle; I love him dearly and he knows where I stand on the issue, and he respects that, and we still have a very good relationship. I love his partner, too, he is a great guy. We don't discuss it at all now, but it is a subject my husband and I have agreed we'll have to bring up soon, because my son is getting older (he's 18 months), and we need to firmly establish with my dad and his partner that although we want them involved in William's life, they need to respect that we will raise him according to our beliefs. My dad has always been great about not being demonstrative of his lifestyle around us, and I'm sure he will extend that same courtesy when he is around our son.



My dad's partner is an Episcopal priest, and my dad is a Christian and very devoted to his faith. Just somehow they have convinced themselves that the Bible says homosexuality is ok. I don't like to think that one sin can keep them from being saved and going to heaven; I disagree with people who tend to portray homosexuality as the worst most unforgiveable sin: in God's eyes, sin is sin and it's all equal whether you told a little white lie or lived the homosexual lifestyle. I don't know know for sure, though, so I just have to have faith that God is in control of it.



So just keep loving your nephew and your brother. Don't hide from them if you disagree with their choices, but make sure they know that doesn't affect how much you love them. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

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