How do I get my 9 mo. old to understand No?

Jenny - posted on 05/21/2009

Quoting Sara:

First and foremost I hope that you understand how to discipline thru and with love. You can discipline with a stern voice and face while doing it in a loving way. Learn to discipline with love and life will be so much easier...not that the child will become perfect, but discipling angrily only seems to continue to ignite fire throughout the day...disciplining with love , while understanding that your child will make mistakes, they will irritate you, they will test you - it's their way of learning. Look at disciplining them as your job, your job to correct them and guiding them so the next time (even if its 50 times later) they will know the proper way. It makes your life so much easier. And another thing I learned early on was that when your telling them "no" or whatever it is your working on ...tell yourself that they understand - each time they do it. I've always talked to my daughter as if she understood every word I said. By the time I was done, they were done with whatever they were doing in the first place, plus it teaches them conversation, new words a whole bunch of stuff you never think about!

I completely agree with Sara, but am very surprised at Christian mom's saying that this 9 month old doesn't understand.  At 9 months old my dd went by the dog's bowls. There is no reason she needs to be in that area of the kitchen. I told her no and moved her back by the door to look outside. She crawled right back over there and I slapped her hand and told her no again. She crawled right back and I slapped her thigh and told her no. While doing this I told her I loved her and hugged and held her. After that I can tell her no and she thinks about it and stops whatever is wrong and goes to do something else. Yes, I have a compliant child, but she also knows that Mommy is in control, won't discipline her unless it is absolutely needed, and loves her VERY much.

Stacy - posted on 05/20/2009

I'm dealing with this same issue. I try saying no, shaking my head, smacking his hand a little, and drag him away. If he returns, repeat. Eventually he knows he's not supposed to do that thing, but he's still learning too. he's still a little young for the concept, but a good time to start

Laura - posted on 05/16/2009

My daughter was 9 months old when I started putting her in time out. Part of the reason for that is because I started using the word no to certain things when she was 5 months old. It all depends. Personally I don't believe that a 9 month old is too young to understand the word no.

Tracey - posted on 05/16/2009

I have been using a stern voice and face when I say no. I then remove her from the area or remove the item if she is not listening. Lately, she has been choosing to stop and when she does, I smile and tell her thank you when she does listen. I have to be really consistent though.

Jessica - posted on 05/15/2009

My son is 13 months and just a month ago really seemed to start to understand "no". I think maybe he understood it some before, but now is gaining the understanding it takes to actually stop the action he is doing. In fact, when he is approaching something he has been told no about before, we'll see him shaking his head no, and he moves on. So he's just now really getting it-hang in there, he will get it eventually!

Sara - posted on 05/14/2009

First and foremost I hope that you understand how to discipline thru and with love. You can discipline with a stern voice and face while doing it in a loving way. Learn to discipline with love and life will be so much easier...not that the child will become perfect, but discipling angrily only seems to continue to ignite fire throughout the day...disciplining with love , while understanding that your child will make mistakes, they will irritate you, they will test you - it's their way of learning. Look at disciplining them as your job, your job to correct them and guiding them so the next time (even if its 50 times later) they will know the proper way. It makes your life so much easier. And another thing I learned early on was that when your telling them "no" or whatever it is your working on ...tell yourself that they understand - each time they do it. I've always talked to my daughter as if she understood every word I said. By the time I was done, they were done with whatever they were doing in the first place, plus it teaches them conversation, new words a whole bunch of stuff you never think about!

Rebekah - posted on 05/14/2009

My son is 8 months, since he's been crawling for awhile and now he's standing I've had to use the word "no" more and more. He's starting to understand it now. I use it stern and I don't smile. I only use it for things that would cause him harm like cords, hot oven/stove, or getting into something that we really don't want him to do. I just hope he doesn't say that as his first word! LOL

Anne - posted on 05/13/2009

It is a very wise parent the picks their battles. I have heard it said, When you pick a battle make sure it is one you are prepared to win. When our daughters were less than a year if AND ONLY IF it was something dangerous that I could not remove from their path I would put my hand over their hand and slap my hand while I was saying no in a stern voice. The noise startled the girls but my hand shielded them from harm. I only used this with the stove or electric plugs that I could not hide. When they were older 18 months or so one swat on the diapered bottom usually stopped the behavior. I used this only after nothing else worked. Please understand I am not advocating uncontrolled spanking that leads to child abuse.

Bethany - posted on 05/13/2009

I am in the same boat as you!!! I find with my son (he's 10 months but this has been going on for a while) that sometimes he seems to get it- but most of the time not! I agree with Heather that it's important to start it early- we do the stern "no" and move him away from the item- sometimes he goes immediately back (which is frustrating to say the least!) but then other times when I say "No" he actually stops what he is doing- and somehow seeing that makes me so excited I can forget the frustration! (haha! sometimes! )

I find some days it is really hard to be consistent- especially if I'm tired- so I have learned to choose my battles and use "No" for the things that are really important to me. I figure it's better to be consistent with a few things until he does really understand it- then I can help him apply that to more things/situations. (I figure choosing my battles is a lesson I might as well learn/practice early- I imagine I'm going to get lots of use out of that! haha!)

:~D

Heather - posted on 05/13/2009

I believe that children are very smart, and the sooner you start teaching them the sooner they will learn. Each child is different though. Some 9 mo olds might be able to learn No, where others just aren't ready. After saying that. I would recommend saying No (without smiling) then either taking away what you don't want them to have, moving them from where they are not suppose to be, or pushing their hand away gently. It takes time, but they will learn. The most important thing is for them to know that you aren't happy. They will respond to that more then anything when they are little. Remember no smiling or laughing. I hope that helps!

Kirsten - posted on 05/13/2009

A 9 mo is too young to really understand the concept of No. The best thing to do is to say No and then distract them or take them away from whatever it is that they shouldn't be doing.