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How do you deal with not having anymore children?

Ashley - posted on 09/06/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

29

8

My husband doesn't want anymore kids He's happy with what we. Have and is ready to get a vasectomy at any time. I on the other hand am very happy with our children but can't let go of loosing the possibilities of more. We've already decided that no matter what we want if God gives us more we will be happy with it. We've discussed that he will wait to get the vasectomy until our youngest starts school (in 4 years) and I'm okay with that. I know that no matter what we want or do, if God wants us to have anymore there's no stopping him and we will both gladly accept 20 kids if He wants. I just can't seem to let go of the possibilities that more children would bring. Anyone else have/had a hard time too?

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Carla - posted on 09/06/2011

3,793

0

Sweetheart, you and your husband are now one flesh. You two are going to have to be in agreement to this. I was pregnant, had a 5 and 3 y/o from a previous marriage when my husband and I got married. He wanted a football team and a squad of cheerleaders. He was 20, I was 21. AFTER the delivery (breach without anesthetic), he signed the papers for a tubal ligation. We were struggling financially. The longing for a child NEVER left, and that's what you are going to have to realize. The maternal instinct of holding that new life in your arms is something beyond words. But the cruel reality is that with our modern economics, raising children is terribly expensive. You have to figure out if you want to or have to work, what is daycare going to be with multiple children? I know my daughter pays $1300 a month for two. Clothes, food, toys, medicine and on and on. I hate to put a child up against money, but I know how guilty I felt that I had to put my children in second-hand clothes, and be happy we had even that, for school. We couldn't have them in any extra-curricular sports/dance etc because we flat out couldn't afford it. I had to sell my wedding rings to pay the house payment one time.

God gives us children to love, cherish, protect and guide. If we are so stressed over money, we are short and irritable with them and the entire family suffers. I would strongly suggest that you and Hubby pray and fast, if you cannot come to an agreement. This is a huge decision and one that needs to be prayerfully made.

God bless, honey. Oh, and ps: We had a pregnancy scare when I was 42. My grown daughter and I went from panic to hilarity in about 10 minutes. When the test came back negative, we were sad.

Kelsey - posted on 09/06/2011

150

23

I'm sorry I can't relate. However, I am struggling with the issue when to have more. I am a student right now with two little ones already. I want another baby but I want to graduate and then find a job first; so that could be years! So I have to give it to God.

It is a good step that you AND your husband has come to terms about God's will for your life. You have to do the same thing personally. Give it to God, He has a plan for your life and just be ready to embrace it no matter what it is. He is in control of this issue for you, pray about it and tell Him your thoughts and give it over to him to handle.

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