How do you encourage your husband to lead, spiritually?

Carol - posted on 04/19/2010

My husband was also not leading spiritually in our home and I believe that praying is extremely important, but something that helped my husband was talking to other men in the church who are being spiritul leaders in their home. You mentioned that maybe he didn't know how or even know that he was supposed to lead. I shared my concerns with my women's Bible study group and one of the women asked me if she could share my concern with her husband. I said yes and her husband began shring with and talking to my husband and he has improved greatly. Somtimes our husbands just need encouragement and support from other Christian men!

Meghan - posted on 04/16/2010

awesome! thanks!

Heather - posted on 04/16/2010

Today on Revive our Hearts, Nancy Leigh DeMoss addressed this very issue! She is a great biblical teacher. If you are interested to read or listen to what she said you can go to:
http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh...

Here is the description paragraph:
Want your man to “step up to the plate”? Learn how to
encourage him to do so today on Revive Our Hearts.

Marjorie - posted on 04/13/2010

My husband is a very religious partner. I would just like to share what I know from my officemate's husband. He grew up in a family who is not used in attending masses and other religious activities. She could not work it out overnight but she continued all her religious activities and prayer for a change of heart on his husband's attitude. God will work it out through miracles and finally the husband started to join with her by attending masses on special occasions like birthdays and the like. She's still hoping it will improve by attending Sunday masses.

Meghan - posted on 04/13/2010

Yep Rebekah, that is the kick in the butt I needed. Thank you. :) We are in a new town halfway across the country so I don't know anyone here well enough to ask such a personal question (weird that I can bring it up on here though!). I think deep down I knew all that but was secretly wanting validation for my feelings instead of being told to take responsibility. However, I know that God is in control and the best thing I can do for hubby is pray for him. Thanks again. I will press in.

Heather - posted on 04/13/2010

Rebekkah, I think the last verse you were looking for is 1 Peter 3:1-2

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

Rebekah - posted on 04/13/2010

This is one of the most talked about subjects when it comes to marriage counseling... and it's usually always the wife that brings it up.



It's time for you to step it up. No where in the Bible does it say the husband HAS to lead devotions OR begin the family prayer. These are the ideals that every wife seems to get in their head as "spiritual leader".



Actually, there is nothing wrong with the wife initiating family devotions and allowing your husband to have an opportunity for leading the family OR beginning the family prayer OR praying with your baby of only 7 months for daddy!



As for your husband's demanding job and you seeing him supposedly remaining stagnant in his walk with God - this may sound harsh and I apologize if it is, but I really truly believe marriage in the eyes of God is two people seen as one - when falls back, you are there too. Time for you to increase your prayer life over your husband. The Bible does say the husband should wash his wife in the Word (Ephesians) - but I also believe this is a 2 way street. Wash your husband in the word daily and watch God move - but get out of the way, because when God moves, if you are in the way, you will hinder it. Pray, believe, set forth the example and keep working on yourself. The Bible says, and I can't remember the verse (maybe someone else knows the reference, but I'm paraphrasing), that it's the characteristics of the wife that will win her husband over. You ARE the reference for your husband and this is how you can help him be the spiritual leader.

Meghan - posted on 04/13/2010

Thanks Jill. Good to know. It's not like he has fallen away. He often describes things like songs or messages he hears that really "get him"; it's just that his work environment isn't conducive to faith, and he doesn't go out of his way to make sure he is constant in it. I am not worried about his salvation, just his commitment to be united as a couple under Christ, especially now as parents.

Jill - posted on 04/13/2010

you just explained my life in your post ...what i have learned though.. is 1. to set the example ...2. you are not responsible for your husbands christianity....he is .. sad to say the bible says... in the end times .. 2 will be working side by side and 1 will disappear... or what about the ones who said but we preached in your name and God said depart from me i never knew you....all you can do is pray for him ...God will lead Him back in his time... if it is His will... it might not be and you have to accept that... 3. do not rag on him.. it will push him farther away... let him see Jesus through you... walk in love...be the example....God Bless You... i know exactly what you are going through...

Meghan - posted on 04/13/2010

Thanks Heather. I have been advised this way by my previous small group. I just wish he was more concerned about it, you know? It makes me wonder why it's not as important to him as it is to me, especially when we made vows to put God first in our relationship. It could simply be a (very long) phase in the ebb and flow of our relationship and his relationship with Christ. But my patience (and grace) is running thin. :( I think part of it has to do with the fact that he was away in training (army) for 16 months, so he's used to doing his own thing, and so am I. But I feel like flexing our spiritual muscles together, instead of separately, would benefit us in more ways than we would know. Plus, if he gets deployed in January (very likely), we won't have a very strong foundation to survive on. These are my major concerns. I think I will just try to do what you suggested, and pray for more grace and peace. I know I am only responsible for myself.

Thanks again.

Heather - posted on 04/13/2010

For me with my husband I do most of the things that I know that he should. When he is home and I am reading the devotions to the kids, he always steps in. If he helps me put the kids to bed and sees that we are praying first, he always joins in and wraps it up after they have prayed. I guess I have chosen not to voice my opinion about what I think he could do better, I just pray that God will continue to work in him, and he does. On occasion when I bring up biblical matters he will commend me or rebuke me if I am in error. He rarely brings up biblical matters, but he is always quick to offer me biblical counsel if I ask. So my suggestion is not to tell him that you think he needs to be more of a leader in your home, but to open up places where he can step in to be that leader. Don't wait for him to ask you about how you are doing spiritually, if you have a concern, ask him for advice, or to pray with you (or for you) about it.