How do you get your kid to understand the importance of doing homework? My son does not like doing it and will tell me he does not have homework at times, then I find out later from the Teachers through a progress report that he is missing homework.
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Loren - posted on 02/15/2009
I have 3 children, two of which are still at home. Homework has always been an issue. What I did was set up a meeting with my child's teacher or teachers and discussed the subject of homework. One of the ideas that we came up with was that the teachers would give me a list of what their expectations were for the week. They let me know ahead of time what the class was going to be doing for the week and what kinds of homework was going to be expected. We as a team, also came up with a communication book that was to be sent back and forth (not the agenda) and they would write in the book what was expected. This was non-negotable with the children. The teachers usually agreed to give me an extra set of text books to keep at home to eliminate my daughter's excuses that they forgot their books at school.
Another thing you can do is sit down and discuss the subject with your child. Ask him/her what their issue is with homework. Ask them "what about homework do you have problems with"? My daughter's issue was that she had been doing work all day she really didnt want to come home and have to do it also. The solution I came up with was to break down the homework into smaller parts and at the end of each part give them a break to get up walk around or get a snack. All my children are ADHD so I had to become very creative in order to get work done. Sometimes I did as Barbara suggested and let them deal with the consequences of thier own actions but still insisted on getting at least part of the work done.
Natalie - posted on 02/15/2009
I haven't had much trouble with homework with my kids.....I think it's because we developed a routine at an early age. I think it would still work. Set aside a specific time each evening that works for your family and sit down with your son. You can either help him if he needs it, or be doing some sort of busy work of your own. Maybe just the idea of someone else working too will help him. Keep in close contact with his teacher so you know exactly what homework he should be doing. Once it becomes a natural and habitual part of his day it won't be such a struggle. Good luck.
Elizabeth - posted on 02/16/2009
If your son is a sports guy, you can compare homework to "practice." He wouldn't expect his coach to give him much game time if didn't give his best in practice. Yes, it takes time, yes it is not much fun, but it makes "the game" go that much better!
Linda - posted on 02/16/2009
One little tip to help you along...Instead of asking your child if he has homework, which only requires a yes or no answer, ask "What do you have for homework today?" It's more difficult to lie when being presented with an open-ended question.
Anne - posted on 06/13/2009
Hi Debra, I have read most of the posts and I agree with every one. One problem we had with our oldest was the teachers telling us when she got into 6-8 grades that this was a Phase. Do not buy it, yes it may be an adjustment time for a child to go from one teacher in a self contained classroom to several teachers however if your son is or was doing great work ( What ever his potential is) to almost mot passing, it is more than a phase.
Crystal - posted on 06/12/2009
I have graduated with a degree in elementary education, yet I agree with the woman who said she did not appreciate her daughter coming home with a ton of homework every night. It is not necessary in the lower grade levels. Play time IS necessary. When I become a teacher, I will send children home with homework sparingly.
As for your situation, I would make homework time a "together time", sit with him with your own bills or whatnot, help him, and learn with him. Be interested in what he is learning, and show that interest to him!
Shelly - posted on 06/12/2009
I have had the same problem with all three of my boys and what I have found that works is an agenda or a date book and talking with the teachers to write in it when he has home work and on fridays either go in and talk to the teachers to make sure that he is giving them his book to sign off on and then you sign off on the homework or if there is none then you sign off on that to..Yes it is very time consuming but this is thier future and part of our jobs as moms is to prepare them to be productive adults...and if that means spending extra time keeping track of thier homework!!!
Jennifer - posted on 06/12/2009
Routine has been mentioned and I definately find that to be helpful. Even on days there isn't homework we have homework time (except holidays or such). I keep a workbook or create something to work on weaker areas (math problems, handwriting, etc.). So if there isn't something from school there is always that. This is with younger kids (2nd and under). I can see doing the same thing with older kids but maybe having the home-homework be something they despise doing to encourage knowing and having the materials for the "real" homework. I also have a schoolbox with supplies at the ready, so there was no excuse or procastinating while "looking for a pencil." Also we have a break between school being out and starting homework, but at the same time it must be done before activities like a sports practice or going to a friends house. I am a former kindergarten teacher and will say teachers usually dislike homework as much as the students do! It's not like we can take it as accountability of knowledge and we do have to grade it and keep track of it too. Yuck! As a matter of fact as a kinder teacher except for the one year I had a principal that required us to send it I refused to do so! When I taught first though I sent it the second half of the year because the older they get the higher the expectation and the DO need to learn the skills of organizing thier time and responsibilty for thier own work. But I think the general concences is that homework stinks!
Holly - posted on 06/11/2009
Hello Debra .MY name is Holly and my son who is 9 is the verry same way ,in our school distrect they have planners and the teacher writes on the bord every day what they are doing for the day ,homework has * by it so all parents know this .aswell we can get online and see what grades and what home work is missing !my son had an f in math and i got so up set with him i made him go to summer school i also dont know how old your son is but i have also walked him to class and made sure he has turned it in ,witch is an emmbarsment i dont know if you can do that .volenteer as much as you can and check up on him ,you can put him in some sports and most of the time if there doing bad coach wont let them play ,but they will be hard on them my son is in football ,whenhe cant play cause of his grades ,coach make him run more more push ups ,ect also may be put in side a folder at the end of class have him check tomake sure he has every thing ,like a chart that only he needs to know about .Let him know that this is unexceptal and you will not tolerate it set goals ,say only 2 missing home wor assigments a week ,ect work to none .i go and get my sons if its over aweek old and normaly the teacher will not give credit casue its been do long but i still make him do it ,GOod luck deer ,also maybe he needs to talk to c councler at school just some one he can vent to ..
Lisa - posted on 02/17/2009
You have a lot of great suggestions on here.....I have the same problem with my son....we have good and bad days. It's a work in progress...what does work is sticking to the schedule as much as possible. My son does attend an after-school program about 3 days a week and they do not always allow the children to complete the homework. The service does not focus on individualized help. And, I want to be involved...so, when we arrive home we have a snack and complete and go-over any homework. I let my son know that it is a must!!! No ifs, ands or buts. The more he realizes that it's not an option, the easier it is getting....and from time-to-time I will reward him for doing a great job. So, he looks forward to, just as I look forward to getting a raise when I do a great job at work. Don't forget that we were once children....take it one day at a time. Start small and work your way and let him know that you are in this together.....his success is your reward Mom....take care, and hope this helps.
As a teacher, I would recommend a daily progress sheet, with your son writing down all assignments to be done during the day. Then have the teacher initial it at the end of the day. Your son brings it home to you with any unfinished work, you initial only after it is done, and return it to school with him the next day. We do this in my second grade class, and it works for the most part. It holds the students accountable, and it is a great way to maintain communication between you and the teacher.
Debra - posted on 02/16/2009
Thanks that is a help, I started talking with his teachers. But right now I am going through with him because he has promotion in doubt. His only thing is his homework being missing. Working on it though. they learn to lie very early. Thanks for your reply.
My daughter was doing the same thing, telling me that she had no homework and getting poor grades because assignments were missing. First she had consequenses for lying, if that were the case, (sometimes she forgot homework) then I started almost daily contact with her teachers and, funny enough, once she knew I was talking to the teachers, the lying and "forgetfulness" eventually stopped. I would also look through her book bag sometimes if I thought I needed to. She went from C's, D's and F's to A's and B's.
Uh oh,.... I'm going to come from a different angle. I hate homework. It made me mad when my daughter got off the school bus and had to sit down and do another hour to two hours worth of work. I know they send the homework home to develop discipline but I hated that the school got more time with my child than I did and then they still sent work home so instead of spending time with her I was hounding her to work, work, work.
My daughter was in school 7½ hours and away from me 9½ counting bus time. She has and IQ of I40 but has learning disabilities, Dyslexia and ADD. What might take other children 20 minutes took her an hour. Or more. Most often more. Although she had accommodations in her ARD folder we still battled. Homework was an ongoing nightmare for us. It has to be done but the tears and frustration were exhausting. Plus I resented the fact that I wanted her home time to be family time. NOT more school time.
We now homeschool. NO homework because everything is done here. She starts school at 8:30 and is finished most days at 2:00 and so far 5th grade has been a breath of fresh air. She actually looks for things to learn. Her attitude has changed completely. I hope you find an answer. I had to remove her and deprogram her completely. We have been unschooling since August and she still frets about TAKS (we're in Texas). I was a kid that thrived in public school and homework was never a chore (but then back in the 60s and 70s they didn't load the elementary and middle school kids down like they do now. It's a shame kids can't ride a bike after school and unwind now. Nope, gotta get those grades in.
Melissa - posted on 02/15/2009
My kids are still very little so I don't have this issue yet. However, my mom had this problem with my brother. She sat down with the teachers & they decie to make him keep a homework notebook. It was a liitle notebook & he was responsible for writing his homework assignments in it but then each of his teachers signed it so my mom would know that he was being honest. If he didn't not have the teacher sign the book there was a consequence of some sort(don't remember what it was) but whatever would work for your son. Hope this helps.
Barbara - posted on 02/14/2009
I have 4 kids and I'm a teacher. I flat out refuse to fight about homework. If they don't do homework, they deal with the consequences at school. I will ask if they have homework, and I know the teachers' policies, so I have a pretty good idea if they have homework or not. If they tell me they are not doing it, though, I let it go. I tell them school is their job, and if they don't do it, they have to deal with it. One of my 4 regularly misses it, and has to give up free time at school for it. That's his problem. Most of the time, though, all 4 get it done, and get excellent report cards.
Lisa - posted on 02/14/2009
Let's see-I have three kids in school and haven't had much trouble with homework. The only thing I can figure is that I volunteer at the school and know all of their teachers, so if they are not handing in work, I would know about it right away. I would talk with the teacher and keep in contact with her throughout the week-even by email if you have to. That way you can nip a problem in the bud.
Shelly - posted on 02/14/2009
Oh when you find that majic bullet let me know...I have that problem with two of my boys...and they are really good students in most of thier classes. Theres just a couple of them that they just can't seem to get it together in. So I hope you get plenty of responces so I can get some ideas
Join Circle of Moms
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms