How do you handle being at a different stage in your walk with Christ...

Andrea - posted on 10/19/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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then your husband????



My husband and I are so not on the same page or book for that matter when it comes to our own personal relationship with Christ. I completely trust God to provide for us, He has this entire year while I have been in school FT and not working only recieving minimal unemployment. He has his job and works hard and we are TRULY blessed I tell you. To God be the glory..if it were not for husbands job, we would be bad off and I would not be able to do my education. I will be done this year thank goodness.



We talked about Christmas and cutting back on the spending and so on. He stated this was a restructure year for us since I am not working outside of the home (which I love...I have always wanted to be a stay at home Mom). He added next year his son would have a motorized car to ride around in of some sort...mind you the child is turning 4 this year. I told him us being together as a family was way more important. Last year at this time we were in a midst of a divorce, living under seperate roofs and fighting like cats and dogs. Again, God intervened and saved us from that path with the awesome church He led us too.



How do you as Godly wives handle it when your spouse is hung up on the worldly things...and thinks he can't trust God to provide for his family????? It breaks my heart and pray everyday and tryin not to beat him it to much...but when you are full of the Holy Spirit and God's love... you tend to slosh it on those closest to you!!!!



Take care, and thanks in advance for any replies!

Andrea

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Carrie - posted on 10/19/2009

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Bless your heart. I too can relate to a certain degree. Sometimes I find myself so aggravated at my husband that I want to just scream, but I know that it's all in Gods timing and not in mine. I suggest the Book The Power of a Praying Wife. It may help you understand a mans way of thinking a lil more...God Bless and remember you are not alone. Stand strong and keep the FAITH!! Carrie

Victoria - posted on 10/19/2009

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1Pe 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives,

I believe you just have to continue to be strong in the Lord, God will provide & intervene, you just have to persevere. I think it's so much easier for women to believe then men, it takes a greater humbling for a male to admit that he needs anyone, anything including God. But God will come in a little be more all the time, it's a step by step process, miraculous not magic. Keep praying God is clearly with, and by you Christ like character you husband will be won over, if it's true for not believe how much more for someone of the faith however small his faith might be.

You're in my prayers.

Priscilla - posted on 10/19/2009

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Andrea, Find a good Bible study that you and your husband can go to together. My family and I have attended Community Bible Study, a non-denominational Bible study for men, women, and children of all ages. CBC is great because even though you are assigned to different discussion groups, everyone in the family is studying the same scripture. As you and your husband (and hopefully your kids) attend Bible Study together, you will grow in your faith and you will see your husband and children growing in their faith as well. A Bible study group like this also gives you a network of support to help you grow in the Lord and get you through the rough times. Another good Bible Study is Bible Study Fellowship. BSF also has classes for men, women, and children aged 2 and up. You can locate a CBC or BSF class near you by going online. As far as your husband trusting God to provide for his family, just continue to reassure your husband that God always provides but also, respect your husband for being hardworking and conscientious and knowing in his core, that as the head of the family, it is his responsibility to provide for his family. This is the way God designed the family so you can't fault your husband too much. It sounds like you and your husband have agreed to keep Christmas simple this year so just go with that and don't argue about the possibility/probability of buying your little boy a Power Wheels for Christmas next year. Just cross that bridge when you get to it. By next year, you may have a fulltime job and it may be possible to buy that Power Wheels Jeep or John Deere Gator. Also, keep in mind that kids outgrow these motorized cars pretty quickly and if you can't afford to buy a brand new one, you can probably pick up a gently used one at a fraction of the original price. God bless you in your marriage and your spiritual growth.

Anne - posted on 10/19/2009

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Hi Andrea and Heather, I am Praying as I am typing that I do not offend either of you.

My husband and I will be married 30 years the end of Dec. I can honestly say that it took over 20 years for Rick and I to "BE on the Same Page" Spiritually. Some times I was stronger, some times Rick was Stronger. Some times I thought I was stronger Spiritually. When I thought that I was not. PLEASE understand I am in NO WAY implying that this is the case with either of you. Andrea, I am just getting to know you this may in fact be the first time I have responded to something you have asked. Heather I have know you through this Community and some of the others we are both members. Heather you are one of the most Spiritually Mature Mom I know.

One thing I have learned about my husband is that because he is a man he is wired by GOD to want to fix things, and take care of his family. It has been hard for him to "let go and let GOD" when it meant allowing his daughters or me make mistakes. When I have had my heard on straight according to Gods Word, and have spent time Praying for our marriage and our family God has ALWAYS been Faithful. Getting back to the "wordily things" there was a time in our lives that Rick would participate in amateur golf tournaments on Sundays and not be in Church. I grew up in a denomination and with a mom that believed if you did not go to church on Sunday YOU DID NOTHING FUN THAT WEEK.
Sad to say it took me years to not openly judge Rick for what I thought was a flaw in his Christian Life.

I have said all of that to say I agree with Heather. One more thing I would suggest, if you can find a copy of Stormie Omarten's book The Power Of a Praying Wife, she has wonderful things to share on how to lift or husbands in Prayer to help them become the Christian Men God Desires them to be.

I will keep you in my Prayers.

Heather - posted on 10/19/2009

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Oh my gosh! Your story sounds exactly like mine. I just graduated from Nursing School about a month ago. My husband has worked while I went to school full-time. We have a 3 year old son. We we at each others throats about a year ago and, I was ready to throw in the towel. God intevened in our marraige and we are now closer than every. Although our veiws are different. He wishes for a new truck. I wish for the funds to have more family time and participate in the duties God has for me. But, I get onto him a lot and i have tried to give him a break. But, I have come to realize...Prayer is the answer. Sometimes I swear I pray for that man all day. I want him to love the Lord as I do and be an example for our child and children to come. Pray for his eyes and ears to be open to the Lord. The time will come. You just stand firm on your salvation and he will see the change in you and want to feel God's love also. Heather

Heather - posted on 10/19/2009

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I can totally relate. My husband and I are on total different stages in our walks. All I can tell you is to stand firm in your faith. My husband told me yesterday for the first time that he is inspired by how dedicated I am to reading God's word and applying it to my life. We may see things differently at times, but I keep praying and trusting God that he will align our hearts in the future. I don't worry about where my husbands priorities will be next year, or even next week. I keep trusting God that he will guide my husband and myself in what he wants from us. I have found that I am a much more powerful witness to him when I don't try and make us equal in our walks, but accept the fact that I am farther along in mine then he is in his. Like I said, give it to God and keep trusting God that he is working in your husband. God really is in control. Allow him to use you as a light in your home. My husbands mom was very pushy with her faith, and now he can't stand pushy Christians. So the balance is important. I support my husband, but at the same time I stand firm in my faith. I won't hide my faith from him, but I also wont tell him that just because God is the most important thing in my life that he has to read his Bible and give up all of his worldly possessions. God will continue working in him in his time, not mine.



I know I rambled... sorry about that. I hope it helps though. Love in Christ, Heather

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