How do you handle other people speaking NEGATIVE things about your kids/family?

Shellyann - posted on 06/03/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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There is someone that when ever they open their mouth to speak about my /family it is never anything good, it's always something negative and to be honest I'm tired of it. I've had many arguements with this person in the past before and at this point I know saying anything to the person will not slove a thing. I'm tired of it....

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Angela - posted on 07/04/2011

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Without rudeness or aggression, try this .... Say to the person who comes out with the latest negative comment "Anything else? Have you anything GOOD to say about my family/children? Yesterday you criticised my daughter, this morning you've made remarks about our garden and now you don't like my son's T-shirt!"

Don't say it nastily, say it in a cool, matter-of-fact way and SMILE!! See how they respond!!

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/04/2011

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Yep..... it stems from insecurities and issues. Once you figure that out.... that THEY have much bigger problems than the ones they are causing........ just remind yourself of it and eventually when you see them it'll feel more like an odd breeze blowing by as you become indifferent to her rantings because you finally realize she has issues and she's trying to project them onto you

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I have a friend who does this.
It took twenty years to figure her out....but what my friend is doing when she starts this noise,
she is trying to talk herself into feeling better about herself. She thinks if she puts others down, it makes her look better. It's not ACCURATE...what it is doing is making me lose respect for her.
BUT...that is still her intention. Usually after a good 'trash-fest' on me and mine...I find out that something is wrong in her world. (husband cheating, for the most part)

Mary - posted on 06/04/2011

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Jesus never debated and we are to strive to be like Jesus. Say what you need to say in a nice manor and turn the other cheek. You will be the bigger person in the end and who cares what people say about you or to you. If it is negative and unproductive it's not helping anything. Love them and pray for them. Love your enemies as yourself.

Heather - posted on 06/03/2011

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My advice will be very similar to Rebekah's. God's Word says that we are to pray for those who mistreat us. Take a look at what they said, and examine yourself /your family. Ask yourself if it has any merit. If it does, instead of arguing, approach them and say something like "You know, when I heard 'this' I was angry because of the way it was said, but now that I've thought about it, you were so right. Next time, would you mind approaching me in a way that would help me, instead of a way that hurts me?" If it doesn't hold any merit, pray for them. Don't let it get to you, because you know it isn't true any way.

Jane - posted on 06/03/2011

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Why do you still let yourself be around this person? Can't you avoid them? I would hae suggested simply look them in the eye and say, "You know, my mother taught me that if I can't say anything good, then I shouldn't say anything at all."



After that, leave.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/03/2011

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Psychologically...... people who are always that negative are miserable. And guess what? They feed off of it for whatever reason instead of bettering themselves, or finding The Light in situations they just dig holes everywhere. I've found the best way to deal with it is to be super happy! They HATE it. If you are really really nice to them no matter what and are always happy, this will get under their skin. Also, throw in a few solid statements and reminders about their comments. Don't be rude, just do not hide how you feel.

Ex. You run into them, say Hi!!!!!! How are you?! And just be really happy. When they start to be mean, keep smiling but let them know you don't like what they are saying like 'That's not very nice of you, I hope some day you'll find peace within yourself' if you start to throw comments back, they should quiet up. Let them know you do not care too by saying things like 'I love my family, reguardless.' and keep smiling. Or 'Luckily not everyone feels that way / the way you do' ?

I'm horrible though, I won't put up with it. But you don't have to be rude and you do not have to let them get to you. Just stand strong, happy and proud of your family and let them know it! It'll just burn their butts lol

Rebekah - posted on 06/03/2011

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The greatest advice comes from the Bible - turn the other cheek and LOVE them regardless.

Think about how many times Jesus entered into places where they spoke negative things ALL the time and even wanted to hurt him... yet, He responded in LOVE and many times turned the other cheek.

That should be our response as well, even though your first instinct is to become defensive...

Probably not what you wanted to hear... sorry! :)

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