How do you talk to a seven year old who ask where do babies come from?

Anneka - posted on 11/21/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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there have been quite a few pregnancies in my family so my seven year old daughter wants to kno where they come from.I am truthful with my children about life and try 2 answer their questions but this one caught me totally off guard. So im thinking of ways to b truthfull but not 2 much information enough 2 understand. Im afraid if I dont tell her her classmates will u wud b surprised @ wat these children kno these days.

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Amber - posted on 11/22/2010

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Hi,
I had to answer this question with my 7 year old son, yet my 4 year old tells me " daddy makes the sperm and moma makes the egg, and when they get together it makes me...and other babies". I think that was my husbands doing! My mother in law told my baby that "when two people are so in love, they get married, and have a baby". I was not comfortable with that; children do not need to believe that you can only have a baby if you are in love or married. I got lucky, I told my son that babies come from God, and we should not ever have babies until we are married and in love ( but sometimes that is not the case). I told him that the baby grows in the mamas belly until it is ready to come out in 9 monts. He jumped up and told me It was boring. So I know that the question will come again. I think you have to answer the questions in the least graphic way, and let your child lead. Only answer the questions they ask, offer no more advice than they ask for. And good luck!

Candi - posted on 11/21/2010

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Just be honest. Tell them Daddy and Mommy make the baby in a special way and it has to grow inside mommy's belly to make it healthy. I was a little more open with my kids. My son had a book about it. He knew dad's sperm and mom's egg connect and form a cell then the cell divides and yada yada yada. He was a smart kid(and still is :) ) He was 5 when we got into that much detail. Even my 5 yr old daughter knows where babies come from. There is nothing wrong with being open about it. If you are open about things now, they will be more likely to come to you in the future b/c they know you will give them the real answer. Plus, breaking the ice about touchy subjects at a young age will make it easier for you to talk about things when they are older. Good Luck

Heather - posted on 11/21/2010

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My children know that babies come out of mommies belly, and that God makes them grow and knits them together inside the mommy's belly. We have also talked about the fact that it takes a mommy and a daddy to have a baby, and God want's the mommy and daddy to be married first, but if they aren't God loves them and their baby just as much.

(Psalm 139 and 128)

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Alisha - posted on 11/23/2010

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(And that it's a mystery to adults as well how He forms people in a mommy's tummy).

Linda - posted on 11/23/2010

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I would recommend God's Design for Sex series by Stan and Brenna Jones. They have 4 books: one for ages 3-5, one for 5-8, one for 8-11, and lastly one for 11-14. You can read them with your child and answer any questions they have. They are all age-appropriate...though I will say that I have gone through them with my children at later ages than they recommend. If they were in public school, I think an earlier education would have been necessary. However, because we homeschooled them, they were not exposed to as much of that stuff as they otherwise would have been...and so we waited until they were ready.

Jennifer - posted on 11/23/2010

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My daughter was 7 when she put her hands on her hips and demanded to know what a lesbian was. In order to have that conversation I first decided whether she could handle the information, and next I let her know that it is a parents place to teach their kids things like this not hers, and then we started at the beginning, what sex is, why we wait, why it's to be between a man and a woman and many sins about sex in general and then tackled homosexuality. My daughter is very intelligent and a standard "belly" answer would have made her find someone else to tell her. I made my decision to tell her based on her personality and the fact that I want her to have correct information not incorrect information from her "friends". She's 9 now and I've since had to have the menstrual talk with her too. She handles it well and as long as I am up front and honest and let her know it's okay to ask questions she is completely comfortable talking to me about things. It's a good balance. You have to evaluate your child and make sure they can handle the info you're going to give. My daughter said "You mean uncle Adam and Uncle Wayne....? Eeeeeeew!" It was funny.

Janet - posted on 11/22/2010

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Congratulations MOM, you are coming to the age of her coming of age. This is a very important stage for you, because, she is not only going to start questioning this, but once this door has been opened, it starts a whole new dialog as she begins to get older, more mature, and starts hearing things at school. Your open, honest communications with her, NEED to begin right now with her...

Take your time with it, these are the special one on one moments between you and your daughter that you will cherish forever, and can begin building a special, open, and wonderful bond between the two of you. Tell her the truth about this NOW, at age appropriateness, and she will want to share and talk to you about other, very important, intimate things later, because you were open, honest, told her what she needed to know, and didn't act like it was a dirty little secret that kids don't need to know until they are older.

Kids need you to be truthful, there is a way to tell them the truth without being age inappropriate. I had a book called, "the wonderful way babies are made." it was for small children, and it spoke very plainly about how babies are born, if she wants DEEP INTIMATE DETAILS. But most kids just want to know enough to feel like they know something at that age. They are getting to mature for "storks" and wives tales. I had two brothers and two sisters, my son and daughter were to of the first to be born of the 14 cousins, so they asked pretty young, and I told them, "when mommy and daddy love each other, they can make a baby together." They said, "Oh Okay" and that satisfied their curiosity, at least for a little longer.

Yes kids want to know things, they want the truth, but they also don't REALLY want all the crazy details, they just want as much info as a small, young mind can handle. If your daughter isn't satisfied with a simple answer such as above, and needs a little more, just add as much as you feel is appropriate, use real words, not made up (grown up words) so she knows the appropriate word and learns there is no shame in knowing and having body parts, but tell her that these are not topics and subjects that need to be discussed with other kids, because they may not be old enough to handle all that Info. Make her feel like she is a "growing, more mature girl, with more info than most, and that it is important for her to keep that information like a grown up would, she will learn soon to respect her body, respect other's bodies, right to privacy, but also, she will feel like a big girl because mommy respected her enough to be open, honest, and share a very special moment between mom and daughter.

Anne - posted on 11/21/2010

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The only thing I could add is to let your daughter set the pace for how much information you give her. As long as you are honest and do not tell her the stork brings them you will do fine. I am sure you have already Prayed for guidance.

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I bought a good book for my girls. I think it was 'Where Do Babies Come From?' It's a Christian based book for 6-8 year olds. I also got them 'Where Did I Come From?' which is much more 'graphic', but my girls are almost 9. I gave them the first book for about a week and let them 'digest' that much information before I gave them the other one. They read as much or as little as they want and come to me to talk about what they've read/ask questions/etc....

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