Lauren - posted on 06/27/2011 ( 20 moms have responded )
I have grown up in a christan based home my whole life. I also rebalied alot as I was younger I was forced to go to church when I didnt want to at the time. Well I finally regained my relationship with god when I was 16 and was very involved with our church and with the youth group. I often heard form the youth pastor when he called to check how I was doing. Well I stated to stray again when I met new friend at school the wrong people to hang out with I also got pregnante at 17 and I really lost touch with god then cause I felt shuned from the church. I never got any more phone calls form the pastor any longer my frineds that were post to be there to support me just stoped calling and stoped talking to me pretty much when they found out that I was pregnante. I felt so many emotinos I didnt understand how the pastor can stand up there and preach about gods love and how he died for our sins and not to pass judgment when that is what they all were doing. I backed off stoped going to the youth group. I told my mother that I no longer wanted to go to her church cause of how they made me feel including her frineds at teh church they all looked down on me but she didnt see it that way. She then proceded to tell me that I had to go to church in order to live with her and I needed to live there cause I would not be able to have my beautiful three year old daughter right now if it werent for her. I have never had a relationship with god that I would like to have. I want to feel him burn inside me I want to feel that fire burn I pray alot and do my best to watch my mouth and my frustration and anger and lately I just feel at a lost. I dont know how to really have that relationship with god any more and at this time in my life I feel like I need him the most. I do believe and thank god for sending me my wonderful soon to be husband and two wonderful children. But I want to feel him burn inside me I want to hear him speak to me and know that he is speaking to me. I want that passion with god back and my faith to be strong enough that I dont feel afraid to speak about it cause I will be looked down on or they wont like me. How do I get there?