How to keep your faith and to keep it growing...

Paula - posted on 08/03/2011

Deuteronomy 4:29
But from there you will seek the LORD your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Paula - posted on 08/03/2011

I totally totally understand and I am a Pastor, just read your Bible daily it will come, he promises. Remember it is the deserts where you are growing not the mountain tops. Deuteronomy 4:29
But from there you will seek the LORD your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Angela - posted on 07/02/2011

I'm sorry the fellowship you're attending isn't really offering you any, well, FELLOWSHIP!! Shame on them for being unaccepting or judgemental or whatever it is that is making them so unwelcoming to you.

Churches, like other groups in society can have "cliques" which are insular and forbidding to those outside the clique.

I would suggest writing to your Reverend/Pastor and outlining the points you have shared with us in your post. Do so without aggression - but with the challenge that you basically feel unwelcome and what are they going to do about it.

You're in my prayers.

Carla - posted on 07/02/2011

Lauren, sweetie, I don't have a church I can attend, so I draw my fellowship from this community. There are a bunch of strong women on here who will encourage and teach you in the ways of the Lord. We are blessed!

Lauren - posted on 07/01/2011

Thank you to all who have give me their encourging words I am greatfull to this place that god has placed in front of me to feel free to voice my fears and desires and to be able to feel like I am not alone any more to feel like there are women out there that I can fellowship with and that can help guide me and that dont fault or judge me for my sins and my less comings.

Carla - posted on 07/01/2011

Hi, sweetheart, we are so thrilled that, despite what you have gone through, that you still have a heart for Jesus. He sees that, believe me, and is waiting for you. Sometimes we think we have to do some 'good thing' in order to get His attention, but that just isn't so. There's a story in Matthew about two men standing before God. One is a big shot in the church, and his prayer went something like this: 'God, I'm so glad I'm not like THIS guy beside me. I tithe of everything I own, I am in church every time the door opens, and I NEVER sin!' The other guy just stood there with his head down--he quietly said 'God, be merciful to me, cuz I AM a sinner'. Guess who's prayer God listened to?



You have to understand that there is a HUGE difference between religious people and Godly people. Religious people pull their dresses aside when someone just not quite right walks by. Godly people will see you hurt and sit down beside you and ask if they can help.



Because you yearn for that burning inside, honey, God is working with you. It may not happen immediately, but He is there, listening. Don't pay any attention to what anyone says to you, you understand that burn, that NEED for God, and won't be satisfied with a surface relationship. This is exactly the person God is looking for, and He is preparing you for service. Remember when Jesus was baptized by John? Immediately after that the Holy Spirit took him into the desert to be tested. This will happen to us, too. It shows God what we are made of. This is what you are going through in your church. Are you going to stand up, or are you going to walk away? Are you going to become one of those religious persons, or are you going to have that vibrant relationship you both desire?



When I am down, or just don't 'feel' close, I put on Jesus Culture, Mercy Me, Casting Crowns, or Chris Tomlin. I know there are others, but these groups are heavily anointed, and always bring the Presence of God. My husband, mother and I are lucky enough to be able to do a Bible study every morning, but you can get the Bible on tape, or read online. Every translation is online. If something isn't clear, we go to several other translations to make sure we are getting the right information. We study with King James, but use the Messenger at times. You won't know how you are supposed to live your life if you don't read, and I would suggest reading the NT straight through, leaving out for now, Revelations. Revelations is important, but right now, you need the basics for a Christian walk down pat. When you finish Jude, start Matthew over again. I underline important parts so I can find them again. And as for the tithing, pray about it. Malachi (the last book in the OT) says to bring your tithes to the storehouse (church you attend), however, if you are not comfortable with this, send them to your Christian rescue mission. They will appreciate it!



I was pregnant at 15 and went through a lot of the stuff you are going through. What I can tell you is this: hold your head up high, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You might be surprised at how many women in your church weren't married quite long enough before their children were born, but, because of their religious spirit, would never tell you that ;) God has a plan for you, otherwise He wouldn't be impressing Himself upon you like He is. And if HE is pleased with you, why worry about mere man?



God bless, darling. I know good things are in store for you!

Tonya - posted on 06/30/2011

I first want to say I am very proud of you for being able to walk into that church even after the things they said and done. That shows your character. I too had somewhat the same situation, however the circumstances of mine were different. The short version is I too grew up in a Christian home; however felt I didn’t fit in so I ran to people who were not perfect. My high school had been raped and started drinking, by graduation I had no friends to speak of. When I finely found my way back to Him, I was ridiculed for getting married at 23 to a man whom people thought was something he wasn’t. To top it off they tried to teach me how to raise his children and wanted to help me be a good Christian mom and wife. Like you I feel away from His perfect love. But through it all I learn a few things.

First, the things those people did and said to you had nothing to do with God. They are human, and even the Saints will sin. No, that doesn’t not make what they did to you right, however your relationship with God shouldn’t be dictated on what mankind did.

Second, just because someone calls them selves a Christian, does not make them on. The Bible talks about the fruit we bare, in that remember to guard your self from others words. Words can build and tear down in a single moment they lie. But ones actions are true from the heart.

Thirdly, when I was going through my trials I often remembered the women brought to the city where Jesus was. She had been caught cheating and the town’s people and the elders were ready to stone her. But Jesus said “ only he who finds no fault with in them selves can cast the first stone.” Those people can judge you all they want, Jesus will deal with them in His perfect time. But remember he knows you; your heart and soul, and He should be the only one you allow to truly judge you.

Lastly, picking yourself up and moving on was something I found really hard because I was so hurt by people whom clamed to be family, friends, Christians. I too wanted that passion back, so I read. Everything I could get my hands on I read. I suggest Captivating by John and Staci Elderedge, I also recommend anything form Max Lucado. Also sweetie, the most important thing for you to understand, He is never faraway from you. It might seem that way but if we stood in His presence all the time we would never fall down. In those times is when we learn, and grow closer to him.

God Bless you, and May God show you how much He truly loves you today and everyday.

Heather - posted on 06/29/2011

I don't want to get into a translation debate. The NIV leaves out the scripture that were not in the earliest manuscripts and were suspected to have been added later for clarity. The New Living Translation is actually a paraphrase, not a translation. Paraphrases aren't bad in and of themselves but they shouldn't be the only thing you read as they do only give you one person (or a group of peoples) view of what the Scriptures are saying, instead of what was actually written. The New Living Translation is one of the best and closest paraphrases there are to what the Bible actually says, but it is still a paraphrase.

Rebekah - posted on 06/29/2011

The easiest translation is New Living Translation, be careful with the NIV, if you compare it to other Bibles it actually leaves out Scriptures.

The Family Bookstore has Bible on CD - I have many of these and play them in my car on my way to work or whereever, since I'm usually out and about than at home. They even have the theatrical ones, so it's like listening to a drama.

As for tithing, I truly believe tithing is more than just your pocketbook... I believe tithing is 10% of EVERYthing - time and money. If you can't tithe to a church because of your hurt (which is something you need to deal with first), then ask God where to tithe your money. Again, it all starts with prayer and letting God guide you. No one else can do this, but you.

Victoria - posted on 06/28/2011

In addition to the word it is also important to have some strong Christians to fellowship with, scriptures tells us not to forsake the fellowship of the believer. They are truly a vital part of our growth in Christ. God also says in scripture that He will accomplish everything in every way through his body the Church......that is the saints/believers. They are supposed to be there to encourage you, help you, minister into your life.

When you find that home church, there are things that will evidence that you are called there. Your experience should be challenging & life changing.

Also, don't feel responsible for you fiancées relationship, focus on yours, show him by your example as he sees Christ shining in and through you, he'll most likely be drawn too.

Lauren - posted on 06/28/2011

That is awsome actually I am much better at hearing things than reading them to myself they seem to make alot more sense that way thank you.

Heather - posted on 06/28/2011

Lauren, what version of the Bible do you have? I personally find the NIV the easiest to understand. There are Bibles that simplify it even more then that, but they aren't actual Bible translations, just paraphrases. Also if you go to Biblegateway.com they have an option where you can listen to the Bible. It helps me to know how to pronounce the names and stuff that I could never figure out on my own. It really helps to listen to that and read along with it. Just a thought.

Lauren - posted on 06/28/2011

I totally agree with you on that part. That is why its hard for me to find a church. I also strugle with not tithing our money cause I know things seem to go smoother for us when we are at a church and tithing but how do you tithe to a church that you dont feel welcome at or feel like all they want is your money. Is there any type of bible that I could get that would be some thing that I would understand more of what I am reading. I kinda feel like when I am reading the bible that I am reading shakspear it doesnt really make much sense to me its kinda like gerbrish to me and I feel like I should understand it but I dont. I feel kinda stupid sometimes to cause alot of the words I cant even pronounce mostly the names. Like I have the childs bible and read storys out of it to my three year old every night and some times I cant even pronounce the names or words in the child bible.

Tammy - posted on 06/28/2011

You don't need a relationship with a church to believe and find god! Pick up a bible and start reading. In time, you will find your path on your own.
The problem with many churches these days is their greedy selfishness. If you don't do as they say, they drop you like a hot potato!

Rebekah - posted on 06/28/2011

PRAY! God knows where you need to be, let Him open the right doors to the right church. You do the praying, let God do the guiding. Everything starts with you. Your hunger for God will lead you to that fire you desire.

Lauren - posted on 06/28/2011

It has actually be a little over two years since I have attended that church. I have been working on forgiving them and coming to peace with it. I have tried other churches I just dont feel like I belong there. I also strugle on getting to find a new church and getting my fieance back to going to church and tithing our money and gaining that relationship with god again. I just dont know where to start looking for a church or where that I will feel welcome.

Rebekah - posted on 06/28/2011

**HUGZ** I am so sorry that you felt abandoned by the church when you were in your darkest hour... take heart, the Bible says, "For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though He brings grief, He also shows compassion because of the greatness of His unfailing love." (Lam. 3:31-32)

Your first step is to talk with the youth pastor and tell that person how you felt, the Bible says, "Forgive your people who have sinned against you. Forgive all the offenses they have committed against you." (1 Kings 8:50) and "Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses." (Prov. 10:12) and "If another believer sins against you go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back." (Mat. 18:15). It is SO important that when you take offense to go to that person and talk with them about how you felt -- you'll soon realize there are 2 sides to every story. :) What you might of thought as "being pushed away" and "shunned" from the church, might be something else - but you will not know until you talk with this pastor.

The second step you need to do is "forgive". Forgive not only the church, despite how you felt or what they say/not say, but you also need to forgive yourself! Look at the scriptures below on the power of forgiveness:

"Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends." Proverbs 17:9

"If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15

"First forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too." Mark 11:25

"I tell you, her sins - and there are many - have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. BUT A PERSON FORGIVES LITTLE SHOWS ONLY LITTLE LOVE." Luke 7:47

And there are many other Scriptures on forgiveness, but the importance is to forgive. You have to let go of the hurt, put it in God's hands, and trust Him to hold and guard your heart. When you give God your heart (holes, crushed, beaten, bruised, etc.), He will wrap it up, mend the wounds, and begin to heal (a process that takes time). BUT because you gave your heart to God, God will give you His heart - one that is whole, one that is strong, one that will hurt when God's heart hurts, one that will lead you in the right direction, one that will speak to you audibly and softly, one that will consume you, one that will transform you... but you need to confront and forgive. But do NOT forget to forgive yourself - if you cannot come to grasp of forgiving yourself, it's like a slap in the face to Jesus, because that's like telling Him, His death for you was not enough.

Anne - posted on 06/28/2011

Lauren I have been a Christian for over 30 years, and I can tell you EVERYTHING both Heather and Victoria just shared with you IS THE TRUTH!. Now I was the teen girl that would have been snubbing you, BUT when I came to Christ and asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior He gave me a True LOVE for young women that were single moms. I have to say for me it was Arrogance that caused me to be just plain MEAN!

I respect you and want to encourage you to follow the advice of both of these Sister's in Christ and I hope you can count me as your Sister in Christ also. I will be Praying for you!

Heather - posted on 06/27/2011

I really recommend speaking with the pastor at your church. Tell him what you have just told us. He probably doesn't even realize that this is how you feel. Have you ever seen the move "To Save a Life"? The main character was a boy who got a girl pregnant and was put down by the pastor of the church. I thought it was very inspiring the way he handled it.

Also, if speaking with the pastor doesn't help, maybe ask your mom if you could try some different churches in the area. Seek out a young moms Bible study to attend during the week. Ask around at your church (or another church) to see about getting a Christian mom to disciple you.

Read your Bible every day, there are some great devotional books out there as well if you find those helpful, find a Bible study that works well for you, and pray! I will pray with you too. Being saved isn't about a feeling, it's about trusting God with your life, even when you don't feel anything. The Bible repeats over and over again the importance of encouragement from other Christians. If you don't have that, it's hard. I've been there. You have to seek out other Christian women who will support and encourage you in your walk with Christ. Whether that be a Bible study, a mentor, or even just a new church family, you need the support of other Christians. God designed us to be a family and have loving relationships, not to be alienated from one another.

I don't know where you live, but if you lived near me I would love to have you and your daughter over (I have 3 year old twin girls). If you ever need someone to talk to, you can message me. ((hugs))

Victoria - posted on 06/27/2011

Having a relationship with God isn't about watching your mouth and not getting angry and frustrated. If you have asked Christ into your life, the next step is to get to know God, you do that by reading the word & asking God to reveal himself through it. You should daily get into the word and as you get to know the word better, you will come to know God better.

We all fall short at times, but the great thing is that God forgives us when we ask and believe.

As you get to know God's word you will become more in tune with his voice, God will never speak to you with something that doesn't align with his word.

As you pursue God, he will pursue you, but there is a time or our proving our faith genuine, a persevering to get the crown (James1). Stand firm, believe, study to show yourself approved and once you've stood firm, leave the rest to God.