Riley - posted on 05/03/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )
I am a wife of 12 years and a mother of three beautiful children. I was raised in the church until I was 16 when we moved away from our home town. My parents didn't always go with us but we were there. My husband and I got married and he hadn't ever really been in church. He had gone a time or two throughout his life but wasn't nearly the member that i THOUGHT I was. And unfortunately, it wasn't till about four years ago that we started going to a church and that was only after my husband had an affair with a woman for three years. The ONLY way I was able to forgive him is thru the power of God. God answered many of my prayers around that time and has worked wonders for us. After I decided that I wanted my marriage to work I told him we had to get into church. Everything was going great... but my husband still had alot of unresolved problems and issues. He really never "believed" until this time. Where after we joined the church of our choosing about a year later he decided it was time to invite christ into his life and was baptized! With his new walk in Faith there were a few of the men at our church that tried to take him under their wing and show him the HOW TO's.. How to be the Spiritual leader of the house. How to be the Christian Father to his kids and to his wife. Things changed dramatically over the time. Then here comes the fall... The one person my husband really looked up to as the Christian leader at church that helped him turned his back on my husband. Lied to him, cheated him and really just let him down. Within the first six months after he chose to give his life to christ. This was VERY bad for our family!!! My husband's grandmother had died so we were out of town for two Sunday's in a row. Then when we got back... he was tired and so on and so on. He was so disinterested in going back to church. "If the church was going to be filled with liar's and cheaters who wants to be a part of that" is what he would say. He lost his faith!!! And so did I. I got bitter and angry after all that we had worked thru and worked for I strayed away from my husband. I felt so guilty after doing it the first time I told him. I went to my husband and told him asked for forgiveness. Which he did really easy. "This was your one" is what he said to me. That hurt!! I didn't really know what I was looking for but it really hurt that he didn't care anymore than that. So I have found myself not acting but chatting with different people since then for attention and just to see if anyone is still interested in me.
Since then we have "tried" going back to church but it has failed. My middle child wakes up on Sunday mornings wanting to go... And we will get up and go. But I need help to get back the Faith that we once had. I find myself "thinking" not acting but "thinking" about going down the same road just to get attention. I feel that my husband isn't really here with me anymore. He has been talking to a girl that works with him I looked at his phone and there will be 2 and 3 hours long conversations with them. Unappropriate text messages. I have begged him to STOP talking to her!!! And he replies "it's my job.. I have to" But in all honesty yes, I know he has to talk to her to communicate but only for a min here or there. Not 2 and 3 hours!! Not to mention that the one "affair" he did have comes around our family again. (I am a very forgiving person... (and apparently very stupid!!) So there are alot of trust issues I have with him!!
I have had alot of stress on my plate lately regarding our youngest son. We have been fighting since July of last year (2011) to figure out why he acts the way he does. We thought of the easiest fix was ADHD. No, now they are seeing him and treating him for a ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and they are going thru different meds and I try and talk to him about it and he doesn't listen and just blows me off. My oldest reminds me of my husband in so many ways. And I get very frustrated very easily towards him!!! I talk to the Lord and ask for help but I just feel that I have failed the Lord in so many ways. And he isn't listening. Please help me with prayers and some advice on what I should do to get my family back to the church going praying family we used to be. This is not only affecting me and my husband by my children too!!