I need help

Cecilia - posted on 09/28/2010

Divorce is justified from adultery but doesn't mean you have to get divorced if you don't want to, I wouldn't pressure him on going to counseling it doesn't work they won't do anything they feel forced to do.You do deserve better of course you just have to pray and ask God is this what he wants for your life? Don't worry about what anyone else thinks or says though it's hard not to, but this isn't really in your hands the outcome of this situation, really just put it all in God's hands and you will get your answer. Also try reading the love dare book start being the best wife you can possible be towards him and he will act differently you probably don't feel like doing that but it could save your marriage. Watch Fireproof the movie and buy the Love Dare book its life changing if you follow through with it I've heard alot of couples who were about to get divorced read it as a last resort and took the challenge and God saved thier marriage even after adultery and whatever else. Pray, pray, pray for your husband that he realizes what he did was wrong and for him to come to God and be forgiven of his sins. Also the Power of A Praying Wife is also good.

Michelle - posted on 09/14/2010

I think I would get a divorce. I've seen it happen both ways, and more power to you, if you can stay. If your husband won't change the behavior, and won't go to counseling, then I don't see what choice there is. I believe that divorce is wrong for no reason, but the bible is clear about unfaithfulness. Pray about it, and dig into the word. Ask God for peace about whatever decision you make.

Megan - posted on 09/14/2010

if you still care about him then you need to fight for him. if he feels nothing for and he wouldn't look back at walking away, then the relationship is over. divorce is not a sin, so don't treat it like it is. i've never been divorced so it's hard for me to comment. you should get some sort of therapy whether it be from your friends or a professional, thats up to you. if he doesn't want to go then that is his choice, don't force him. i do wish you the best of luck though. it seems like it's a very tough time. from what i know, people cheat because they're not having some need met so they go looking for it elsewhere, intentional or not. you deserve to be loved and to love. if down the track it means being with someone else and it makes you happy, then it should be something you should do. with faith, hope and love - anything is possible. there are many factors on why he cheated and it also depends on his reaction on cheating and how you found out (you caught him out or he told you). this wont be an easy journey and it's something you both need to work though. i encourage you to seek help and guidance from those around you and have a good long hard cry. good luck!

Sherril - posted on 09/12/2010

Hi Jenny - First, there is no "should" or "should nots" here. Everyone's life is different. I'll share my experience and hopefully it'll help you. I'll also make a suggestion, first and foremost, to seek counseling from your pastor or church. If you and your husband attend a church together, maybe this is something you two can work out. By "work out" I don't necessarily mean "staying together". When it happened to me, I refused counseling. Now, I wish I had. I would have had a chance to put ALL the cards on the table and turn them over one by one with a professional. I would have been able to make a better decision on whether or not to stay or leave. Second, I do know that when a spouse strays from a committed relationship, there are reasons. It's possible those issues can be resolved and trust regained. There is more than just "cheating" involved. I've had to look at my own part in every relationship I've had. I'm comfortable knowing I had a big part in a relationship that failed after 9 years. It helps me put things into perspective. Be willing and continue to ask God for guidance...Accept where you are today is exactly where He intends you to be. You can't change others, but you can continue, one day at a time, doing the next right thing. Nothing needs to happen today. Give God your problems, help others and be a good mommy! you can always contact me if you wish! God's blessings to you!

Stephanie Jo - posted on 09/12/2010

First of all I want to tell you how sorry I am that you have to go through this.Please pray about this.Go to your pastor or someone in your church you can talk to about this. Ask everyone to pray that you will do Gods will and pray for your husband and your marriage. God is amazing and he will be there with you no matter what happens. Lord, please be with Jenny and her husband. This is so hard for her, please lead,guide and direct her to do your will. Show her the way.Please give her wisdom, comfort and strength. In your precious Jesus name Amen.

COURTNEY - posted on 09/11/2010

hi jenny, sorry you have to deal with this.but not wanting help is a clear sign.i'm in a similar boat.my hubby is depressed because he can't find work.hes also a alcoholic and suffering from depression.we've had sex 5 times in the last five months - i know.but i know i need to work on myself & my relationship with God that's first & foremost.i think you should do the same. i know its hard but you luv yourself 1st.& someone told me "you teach people how to treat you".so start loving JENNY!GoD will reveal what to do, -stay strong stay prayful.i even had my ex come into the pix.hes in louisana & a preacher,but I still luv this man.so if i can wade this all my drama you can too.and if nothing else you have all of us to help uplift you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heather - posted on 09/11/2010

Read 1 Corinthians 7, Matthew 19, and Mark 10, that might help. The Bible does say that in the case of marital unfaithfulness it isn't a sin. I'm not saying that's a free ticket to walk away, but Jesus said that divorce was acceptable (not liked but acceptable) in the case of marital unfaithfulness. When my husband cheated on me, I dug into the Word. I found that divorce was acceptable, but I wasn't really sure where he stood as a Christian (it was complicated obviously), so I said that I loved him and would be there for him, IF he chose to be with me. I told him I was his wife and would be as long as he wanted me to be, but I would not share my bed with another woman. So I stayed with my mom for a time. I made a lot of mistakes, and I'm not suggesting you do what I did. But at the same time, looking back, God really watched over me during that time. He told me he wanted me back and when I went his girlfriends sister came over demanding to know why I was there.... in my house... eventually his girlfriend convinced him to file for a divorce, and he left me. I'm not innocent by any means, but I am glad that he filed and not me. 1 Corinthians 7 talks about letting the unbeliever leave, and I believe that is what I did. Again, I was not innocent. I made a ton of mistakes and bad choices, but as far as the divorce goes, it was his choice, not mine. He cheated on me, then divorced me.

I really recommend praying about it, and reading those Scriptures. Let God be your guide in this, He wont let you down.

Matthew 5:32
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.