I Need You God!!!

Catrina - posted on 08/17/2009 ( 23 moms have responded )

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Ever since I could remember, I always knew God was there. I remember being little and looking to the sky and wishing I could see God's face. When I was a teen, I knew God was real but I ran from Him. I knew it was Him tugging on my heart but refused to admit or refused to see that He had a purpose for me and that He wanted to use me. So I ran. I wanted to be cool and I wanted to be liked so I did everything a teen would be expected to do and more. I was so far from God that I didn't think there was any way I could ever be used by Him. When I was 20 years old, I had my second baby, Caleb. My husband, (wasn't my husband yet), came to the hospital to see his baby boy, and the next day he came in I was for some reason very open to him reading the bible to me. I had never been before! And from that moment that he started to read to me, I believed. I was a Christian. Ever since, I have been a believer in Christ. Now my reason for posting this is, that I have been straying from God again. I need Him more than ever and I need support from others. My marriage is falling apart and I've been making plans to separate from my husband and go home. Also, my children are out of control and I have lost all hope of being able to fix that either. I'm lost and I need help. I'm ready to admit that I need help. I've been proud and thought to myself that I could handle things on my own. NO!! I can't do it. I need Christ and the support of other Christian women. Maybe some that have been or are in my same position or maybe Christian women that are stronger Christians than I. I'm crying out for help and hope that my prayers are heard. I'm so unhappy being so far from the one who created me and the only one who can make me truly happy. Please, I need prayer and I need your support ladies. I thank all of you who are reading this and any comments/feedback I get will be greatly appreciated. God bless every one of you!!

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Catrina - posted on 08/31/2009

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Thank you all so very much! I really appreciate your prayers and things have been looking up a little. I still need prayer though. Things are a little better but still need some work of course. I need a lot of work myself. Any of you can feel free to email me at any time at pink_punk786@yahoo.com. (I've had that email for years, so please pay no mind to the name! lol) I am always looking for new friends in Christ. I have a hard time making friends though so hopefully God will put a stop to that and hopefully I've made new friends through this. Thank you all once again! God bless you all!!

Audrey - posted on 08/29/2009

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Hi Catrina! Your story sounds so much like mine, it's unreal. Like you, I grew up knowing about God and always loving him. When I was 13 I met people whom I never should have. I ran away from God also. I went through times where I didn't know who I was anymore. I had 2 children out of wedlock. I am married to their father now. Last year was a pretty good year for me, I was involved in the church, and I enjoyed my walk with Christ. But in the past 6 months, I feel like I fell away again. God has really been calling me back to him this last week. I feel like I can't let go of all the bad stuff I have picked up in my life. I too need some Christian friends in my life who will help me get through this hard time. I would love to be your friend, and maybe we can help each other through this. God bless you, and stay strong! God still loves us!

[deleted account]

Dear Catrina, Firstly I want to commend you for having humility. God loves humility and when we confess that we need Him, cos it's the truth, He is so pleased. I too have had seasons of trying to stand on my own. Quickly I realise how weak I am and how much I need Him. I am so sorry that your marriage is going through bad times and that your children are becoming a struggle too. My prayer is that God turns the whole situation around.



It sounds as though you have taken the best step already, which is speaking to God and telling him how sorry you are for your independence and that you want to be totally dependent upon Him again. That you desire a deeper relationship with Him. That is how I started again and asked Him for His help to teach me how to stay close to Him. He showed me His mercy and His grace and His love for me. The other thing He taught me was that we cannot function as christians unless we meet and have fellowship with others. It is like a piece of coal which is taken out of the fire. It turns cold and loses its glow and its purpose. We need to be with others. God made us to be a body. His church whom He laid His life down for and who He is passionate for. Getting to church and being with other christians is central to our faith. God told us not to neglect meeting with others. In getting to church, home group, we see others relationship with God through their prayers, their lifestyle, in who they are. The biggest weapon the enemy uses, and lets not forget that we have one, is to make us forget we are in a battle and isolate us away from those we need and from WHO we need!



I just want to take this opportunity to encourage you to get to a Spirit filled church and get stuck in. Make friendships and relationships. You are part of the world wide church and as such God has plans for your life, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29 v 11). Your local church is where it's at.



Lord Jesus, I thank you for Catrina and her confession that she needs you and is depending upon you. I thank you God that you are faithful and just that you forgive us as soon as we say sorry. Thank you for the cross, that we can come to you through what Jesus did. Lord, I ask that you fill Catrina with your Holy Spirit, that she would know your presence, your Grace, your love and your power moving through her life. I thank you that you have plans and purposes for her, for her husband for her children, and that you can do more than we can ever ask or imagine. God I ask you to move in power in this situation and bring others to Catrina. I ask that you would make a way for her to be with other christians that she would be drawn to a Godly family who would build her up in you and who she would come to love and serve too. Father, I ask for your strength at this time. You are her hope and you will never let her down. That which the enemy has sought for harm, I pray you turn to good. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

Kelly - posted on 08/21/2009

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Just remember God is always with you. Although you feel like you are straying, God is there. Knowing that you are accepting of him and his role in your life shows that you have not strayed...at least not far. During our tough times is when God carries us. When you have gotten stronger he will set you down and walk next to you again. But he is still there with you...more than you may realize right now. Take Care, I wish you the best.

Traci - posted on 08/21/2009

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DEAREST CATRINA,

I 100%KNOW WHERE YOUR COMING FROM.I HAVE DONE THE SAME EXACT THING IN MY LIFE.MY DAD IS A PREACHER AND MY MOM SHOULD BE.I STRUGGLED MOST OF MY ADULT LIFE BECAUSE OF BEING HARD HEADED.NOT WANTING TO DO THE THINGS THE LORD WANTED ME TO DO.I AM NOW AT A POINT WHERE LIKE YOU ,I HAVE TO RELY ON JESUS.I ONLY WISH I COULD GO BACK AND DO IT OVER AGAIN.MAKE MY TEENAGERS GO TO CHURCH,AND BE MORE STRICT.THE DEVIL FOUGHT ME SOO HARD WHEN THEY WERE GROWING UP TO KEEP ME OUT OF CHURCH ,SO MY LIFE WOULD BE DESTROYED ALONG WITH MY KIDS.

I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED ,I WOULD JUST FALTER IN AND OUT OF CHURCH..AND NOW IM PAYING THE PIPER FOR IT.I HAVE 2 SONS THAT ARE DRINKING (OF COURSE THEY DONT THINK I KNOW)AND ITS BECAUSE I WASNT STRICT ENOUGH AND DIDNT MAKE THEM DO THINGS IN A GODLY WAY.

DONT LET THE DEVIL TAKE THOSE PRECIOUS YEARS FROM YOU.TAKE YOUR KIDS TO CHURCH AND MAKE THEM GO IF YOU HAVE TOO.

I DID MAKE MINE GO WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE,BUT THERE WERE SOME YEARS IN THEIR TEENS THAT I DIDNT,BUT NOW I READ MY BIBLE ALMOST EVERYDAY AND PRAY EVERY NIGHT AND WANT TO START ATTENDING CHURCH REGULARLY.YOU DONT WANT TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH REGRETS LIKE I DO.LET THE LORD HELP YOU.READ YOUR BIBLE EVERYDAY ,THATS WHERE YOUR STRENGHTH WILL COME FROM.ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH CHRISTIANS AND LISTEN TO JOYCE ANDTD JAKES AND BETH MOORE..YOU CAN ALWAYS WATCH THEIR PROGRAMS ON THE COMPUTER.ALSO PUT IN YOUR PRAYER REQUEST ON THEIR SITES..YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY PEOPLE PRAYING FOR YOU.

IF YOU WANT WE CAN TALK MORE AND ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER...IM A MOM OF 4 MYSELF AND NEED ALL THE CHRISTIAN FRIENDS I CAN HAVE1

GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

I HOPE THIS HELPS!

[deleted account]

I will be praying for you... I'm going through a hard time right now too and everytime when I feel that nothing is gonna get better I just open my bible to the book I'm studying and somehow the answer is there. My advice would be to allow someone to take the kids for the weekend and go on a romantic weekend with your husband to get back to the place where you were before kids. Divorce is probably not the answer right now and would just cause more stress on you and your family. I know it's hard when things aren't going the way we planned and we get those selfish moments of why is this happening but we know God is good and has our plan for us. He knows when we need Him the most and knows what our heart desires. I would just try to be in His Word as much as possible and things will start falling into place. Just keep praying!

Marilyn - posted on 08/21/2009

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Catrina, my heart goes out to you. Never give up! When God is on your side, you can't loose. You say that you are far from God right now. He is never far from you! All you have todo is turn to Him. Talk to Him, and let Him back into your life. He has the answers to your questions. It sounds like your husband knows God, or knew Him. Pray with him or for him. Have you heard of the Love Dare? It goes with the movie Fireproof. YOu have got to get a copy ofthe movie and a workbook. I will pray for you.

God Bless you and your family. M S in Ohio

Michelle - posted on 08/20/2009

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Catrina you are in my prayers and I understand your pain. I have been in your shoes and know how hard it is when you feel that you are just so far removed from God and it's so lonely. It seems like your entire life is one big jumbled mess. All I can suggest is that you pray daily, even when you are so angry you don't feel like you can pray. God always hears our prayers and he is always there. God Bless you.

Irmina - posted on 08/20/2009

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Dear, I'm really thankful that still you acknowledge that only God can help you and no one else. No matter what i share or say, no matter what others may say, still, the bottomline is its still between you and the Lord. When God made us he created a void in us that only He can fill. No matter how hard you try to replace Him with other things in your life that you may think will satisfy what you need. In the end, you will still seek Him for no one can fill that void but Him.

Believe that you are strong. The fact that you are still fighting for what you believe in shows strength that others may have given up on.

Becoming a Christian does not exempt us from hurts, problems, difficulties. Even apostle Paul, in all that he has done for the Kingdom, still acknowledges the pains that he has gone through. But in spite of it all, he never blamed God or turned away from God because he already accepted the fact that in all difficulties, God is always making things work for the good of those that love Him and he is fully confident that the God he believed in never left him nor have forsaken him.

God puts us in situations like these, not so we can put the blame on others for our disappointments in them, but so we can take a look at ourselves and see in what area of our life we still need to grow. What you see around you are just symptoms of areas in yourself that needs to change or be strengthened, areas that needs to be given up to the Lord so He can work on them. What is happening around you is just the reaction to what you put forth or have given out.

You can't change people. No matter how hard you try. It's beyond your capability. You can only change you.

Just put this to test, start being aware of things in you that does not help in making your relationships work and pray to God to help you change. Think of the situation in your family that you want to happen and focus on it every time, always praying for that situation to happen. Have faith and believe that it will happen. Then make a commitment to yourself and the Lord to implement the changes no matter what. And surely the Lord will bless your efforts. Then observe how those around you will also change in accordance to what you have prayed for.

Our God is good. Believe me. God bless! Praying for you..... Minertz

Cynthia - posted on 08/19/2009

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Hello Catrina,

I was reading your post and all the replies and I was reminded of how easy it is to get caught up in focusing your attention on the things in our lives that aren't quite the way we would choose for them to be. I am working at my second marriage, my first failed because I didn't get married thinking it would last long and it didn't. God was not a part of that marriage and I had no respect for my marriage, or anyone elses for that matter. I guess I just wanted to say that you should always pick out the reasons you feel in love with your husband and all the good things about him and Praise God for them at all times. Marriage is a constant committment in this day and time because the world is against your marriage succeeding. But God hates divorce and I think you know that in your heart. I will pray for you. Please pray for me also. I am about to be a grandma, at 44, I'm so excited and scared all at the same time. My children are 20 and 12, both girls and while I haven't always been the best mom in the world, I have always been there for them and have never made them wonder about their stability with me. My husband now is not their dad, but he has been a blessing from the Lord because he loves them with all his heart. Read, Proverbs 31:10-31 ... it helped me when I was having trouble deciding what type of wife I was trying to be. And keep the Faith, stay positive and focus on being all the things in a wife God has called you to be and he will faithfully take care of you in return. Please keep in touch.Cynthia

Carolee - posted on 08/19/2009

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Hello Catrina :D I would love to be your friend. YOU are NOT alone !!!!!!
I love new friends and it sounds like you need a trusting friend now.
Carolee @ SHINE Community

Aida - posted on 08/19/2009

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God Bless you,

Hi my name is Aida and i am in the Circle of moms and i am a christian woman i am married and have 3kids..I read u'r letter that u left here and it touched because i have gone through that same problems, but all i can tell you is by the word to hang on, in John 16:33 it says "in the world you will have tribulations, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world"......saying that in the world problems are gonna come our way but behold cause he has overcomed, he won the battle in the cross, all our problems, tribulations, our sicknesses, just put it in Gods hand and he will help you..

God created unity, not disunity marriage is of the lord and it's like the sacrament you guys swore when you guys got married"vows:" in good, in bad in sickness and in health, for better, or for worse, stay strong in the for better or for worse, talk 2 God ask him and he will do he will never leave you.

We are chidren of God and even though sometimes we don't hear him he is there sometimes God answers us with yes, no ,or sometimes he stays quiet but he's there don't ever doubt that, all the tears u shed he is picking them up he is by u'r side and he's never gonna let you go, don't ever be ashamed of him "he" that gave up his life for you and for me...he is worthy to be praised!!! the only true and faithful friend that you and i have that will never betray us and will be by our side 100% to pick us up when we fall, to comfort us and to guide us....don't leave him, because he will never leave you..



I hope my words helped u out a little i felt this in my heart to tell you, if u need to talk whenever just write to me i'll be there for you..

Stay strong!



u'r sister in christ.. ;)

Syra - posted on 08/18/2009

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Catrina...I will keep your situation in prayer...i'm a young mom who has two children and a hubby whom i've been with for 10 years...weve been together since i was 17...so you know there has been many ups and downs...i actually was gonna get a divorce too sadly enough during several points of our marriage i seriously just felt like throwing in the towel...but to God be the Glory he got us through these things and he will get you all through as well...yes life is hard nobody ever said it would be easy but this is why God allows for us to go through these trials...he wants us to desire to be close to him and draw nearer to him--- when we know him we also know that he's the only one that can pull us through the tough times and bring peace to any situation...look to the Lord for all things and he will see you through...God Bless you and your family!!

[deleted account]

http://www.solvefamilyproblems.com/ There is a teaching there "How a wife can use reverence to build or save her marriage." I was like a stubborn mule, but when I did what it said, I worked! Now my husband brags about what a good wife I am to everyone he is able to... If you can't afford to buy it, give me your address and I'll mail it to you! Remember- God is faithful.

Nancy - posted on 08/18/2009

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All Christians go through things like this. I dont know why but it does happen. God is there and just waiting for you to bring Him back. Pray- talk to Him-read His book. Be honest with yourself. God already knows what is in your heart. You are just a little lost and need to find your way back. I dont know what the issue is with your spouse but talk to him and be very honest with him too. Seek counseling, either at your church or from someone who does it for a living. There is always hope if you seek it. It may seem weird but my favorite verse that gets me through everything is the 23 Psalm "The Lord is my shepard, I shall not want...." God bless,

[deleted account]

Catrina,

Your welcome for the prayers. God has placed you on my heart, so just know he cares about you and your family. My prayers are still with you and I know things are going to get better. If there is anything I can do to help guide you or anything you may want to ask, I'm here for you. Hope today was a good and blessed day for you. Hugs

Valerie - posted on 08/18/2009

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If your heart condems you, God is greater than your heart. I don't know you from Adam, but the cry is familiar. Nothing in your life will go right until you repent and return to the Lord. I have been there and done that. Let Him use you. We can't change a thing in our lives, Only God can. The Lord Jesus can fix your Children, your marriage, your whole life can be changed if you only believe that He can and will when we walk into the footsteps He has ordered for our lives. Pray continously, tell God all about your troubles. He already knows everything. There is nothing we can hide from Him. He loves us and don't want us to go to Hell, because Hell is real. He made a way thru Jesus Christ for us to escape Hell and return to Him, it's free. Repent of your sins, return to the Lord, the call is on your life. Pray for Deliverance and peace of mind with a sincere heart. Don't give up on God, He didn't give up on us. My prayers are with you.

Catrina - posted on 08/17/2009

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Yes I am an Army wife. I've been an Army wife for almost 2 and a half years. I have had some friends but have had trouble finding real Christian women that are stronger in Christ than I am. That's what one woman told me I should look for. She said that Christian women that are stronger than me would help lift me up where as new Christians might not be as lifting. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with newer Christians but that I need to be careful is all she meant. She is the only true Christian that I've met so far on this post. She is pretty much my only friend. And on this post, there aren't really good services but we try to at least go to one that's close to what we're looking for. There's a service that we've gone to that is kind of what we're looking for but we haven't gone that much because we want to look around and find one that fits us. I just pray that we find one. One that's preferably on post. I'm sure God will help us find a church that fits us. Yes, I miss my family, but do I have spiritual support from them? No I don't, sadly. My older sister is newly saved, but she still has things that she really needs help with just like anyone else does. The best thing compliment I think that anyone can give to someone is to tell them that you will pray for them, so I am so appreciative for all the prayers and support that I've gotten thus far. Thank you again and I will email you. Take care and God Bless!!

[deleted account]

Your very welcome. By the way, I noticed you are an Army wife! I am an Army brat, lol My dad served in the Army 30 years. It can be difficult, because you are away from your family, but everyone on the bases are in the same situation. I am sure there are other mom's just like you looking for friendship, and may not know exactly how to go about meeting new people. Go to the library on Post, it is a cheap outing with your kids and there is usually other mom's there with thier little ones. Find a church with kids programs, let them see the Lord in action. God will send you a friend Catrina. No one can make it in this life without support from others. Tc and God Bless :O)

Catrina - posted on 08/17/2009

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Thank you both for your prayers and support. I am very grateful that God has sent certain people to me to help renew my faith and help give me strength in my time of need. God is great!! :)

[deleted account]

Catrina,

We all have phases in our lives, where we are apart from God. Usually it is not intentional, but with all the things going on in our lives we kind of put God aside. It does not matter where you have been it matters where you are now. You are hurting and in a valley. The valley is a hard place and that's when we have to rely on our Faith. There seems to be no end in sight and things begin to spin out of control. You feel lost and hopeless. I am here to tell you that when you are in that valley God is there. You are being refined and carved by the Potters hands, God is making you stronger even though you don't feel strong at all. At this point you need to sit down and spill your heart out to God, the tears are a healing force. They take away the poison that is inside of you, hurt, frustration, anger, etc. God knows exactly where you are, as he say's he has," carved you in the palm of his hand ". However you must ask God for help, he will not go where he has not been invited. Through him there is hope for your family, for your marriage, for your children. It will take self discipline to bring your house back into order. You have to make rules and stick with them, Your children will not like this, but they will eventually come to accept it and will one day thank you. I am praying for you, I can feel your pain so clearly right now. I wish I could be there to hug you and pray with you, but I know God is there. He will heal you, just trust and believe and pray for your husband and children asking God to guide you. You may at anytime send me a message at chelle4vols@comcast.net. Let me know how you are doing. I will listen anytime you need.

God Bless you Hon,

Michelle

Heather - posted on 08/17/2009

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Catrina, thank you for allowing us to pray with you about this. You are in my prayers. I have a few verses I want to share with you. I hope that one of them will help you.



Proverbs 24:14

Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.



Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.



Mark 10:27

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

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