interracial marriages problems

Erin - posted on 06/28/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I feel my husband and his friends family judge me for being white. I feel that they don't like me. His friends family loves him but I just feel I am in the way. I just wanted know what is wrong with me. It's driving me and my husband apart. He feels he is being pulled apart. I don't want to talk to him anymore about this because I don't want him to feel that way. I have been around Mexicans my whole life why does this one family make me feel so different.

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KATHRYNE - posted on 07/02/2010

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So sorry for what you are going through. it can really be tough!! i am married to a white man and he is scandinavian(they can really be reserved). i get the feeling that his famyli doesn't really understand me and they have given me the impression that they think i'm too headstrong. but i studied each and everyone of them and fóund at least one who kinda likes me, and i found my comfort there. i dont think so much of the ones who dont like me. and i put alot of strength in helping my husband to achieve his goals, and become a better person, so that they can see that it was good for their son to marry me.
i pray you find your strength and value as your husbands wife. coz the bible says that a man will leave and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one. i pray that your husband will truly "leave" his family (meaning that it is only what happens in what you have together, tht will affect him, or get his attention;rather than the opinion of the family he was born in).
just strive to raise your kids and have your own happy home. for in the end, that is what it all boils down to.

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Danielle - posted on 03/19/2011

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THIS IS THE MAIN QUESTION: ARE HIS FAMILY CHRISTIAN? i mean, fruit bearing christian, walking christlike? this may be why you feel different. when you become a christian, the believers become your new family.

((((Matthew 12:50 says
50For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother))))

jesus didnt socialize, talk story, laugh about non biblical things with sinners. his main point was ministering to sinners. Now we must understand that following christ requires changes. if it means we cant be as close to a cousin, or sister, ect...then thats what we must give up to stand out as a light.

He comes from a whole different background as you might have come from. maybe in the way his family talks, eats, and their conduct. this is understandable, being how this world is filled with all different kinds of individuals.
you are a beautiful creation and God made everyone different looking! he is so creative!

talk to them. ask them where they are at in their faith. ask them if they have a problem with you being white. then give them scriptures. Gods word cannot be refuted!

if they are acting in a way of an unbeliever, and you join into there company without ministering only, you will entangle yourself. If being a christian woman of Gods word, you must be willing to sacrifice your other ungodly relationships for GOD.

Mark 10:29-30 (King James Version)

29And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's,

30But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.


SELAH

Carla - posted on 03/19/2011

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It seems like families always have a reason why they don't like their son's wife--whether race or background or religion. My poor mil almost had a stroke when my husband brought me home--I was a DIVORCEE, was not Catholic, and had a 6 and 4 y/o. My husband was 20. It took her probably 20 years to warm up to me.



As someone posted, when you marry, you two become one. Your husband needs to stand up for you, no matter what his family says. 'A man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife.' I know it's hard on the husband, but YOU are his family now.



God bless, honey, marriage is sometimes not too pretty, but if we bow to God's will, it is always worth it.

Kirstin - posted on 03/16/2011

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First of all, Erin, and everyone else experiencing similar issues--I'm very sorry.

I work for a production company in NYC that is currently working on a new show about married couples who are having problems with their in laws, for those praying that things get better--thing of this as the answer to your prayers.

The show is very respectful and is not engineered to make people look bad, we are not here to exploit anyone's issues. Truly, we are here to help.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to work out your family's issues with an expert.

If you're interested, please message me!

Best,
Kistin

Kirstin - posted on 03/16/2011

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First of all, Erin, and everyone else experiencing similar issues--I'm very sorry.

I work for a production company in NYC that is currently working on a new show about married couples who are having problems with their in laws, for those praying that things get better--thing of this as the answer to your prayers.

The show is very respectful and is not engineered to make people look bad, we are not here to exploit anyone's issues. Truly, we are here to help.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to work out your family's issues with an expert.

If you're interested, please message me!

Best,
Kistin

Lorraine Alicia - posted on 07/03/2010

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It's so sad that we are still fighting race and worst yet among "christian". My husband family did not care for me much but i made it clear to my husband that i am married to him and not his family and he agrees. You and your husband just have to stick together and know that god is with you. I

Amy - posted on 07/01/2010

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Joanne said it well! You and your husband are one. I would say your husband needs to talk to his family about how he feels. It needs to be discussed and hopefully resolved. Pray for this...God will answer! God bless!

Amy - posted on 06/30/2010

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There are special challenges in interracial marriages. I'm so sorry you are hurting. It's so unfair. If you are a good wife to their son, there should be no problems. Like another said, when you became married, you became ONE.

My siblings are married interracially 50%! My husband's brother married a black woman, and my sister married a japanese man. SOLID marriages. BEAUTIFUL children.

I'll pray things get easier for you. There's nothing morally wrong with marrying interracially, but as in all families, the inlaws can cause problems!

Tracye - posted on 06/30/2010

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Unfortunately, there are also families of other races who do not believe in mixed marriages. Some Mexican women will give their husbands grief if a white woman is around, because we are more outspoken, accustomed to the American culture than they. Give them time to really get to know you, and see if it changes. It is a tough situation, but it trials, we become stronger, and when we come through them, God gets the glory and the praise. With you in prayer and faith, believing things will get better for you!

Joanne - posted on 06/30/2010

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From the moment you become husband and wife, you are ONE. Therefore, if anything or anyone threatens your marriage-EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS- you must always stand up for one another. Before the Lord, we are equally worthy of love and acceptance. Do pray for wisdom but first pray for a self-acceptance. When you are fully aware of and embrace your unique inheritance as God's own child, no one will be able to mess with your self-esteem!

Emily - posted on 06/29/2010

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i know how you feel. i married my husband without ever visitng his christian church. i am christian too. but his whole church made me feel unwelcome and like i stole their boy. one sister spread rumors about me lying about having a miscarriage just to get attention. i know what you mean by one family making you feel different.

his parents are still getting used to the idea of him being married to a white girl who is very different from their culture. they are also christian. They have times when they like me or at least pretend to and times when they are openly grudged.

i had to pray to God for peace and understanding. I still dont understand it at times but I sure do feel at peace. Well God actually answered our prayers and moved us to another state. It took a year of praying.

sorry i'm rambling. again pray for peace and understanding and tha tGod will make a change because in HIs time He will

Erin - posted on 06/29/2010

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To Polly
Why do you feel that they judge you? I don't feel welcome the only time my kids can play with there's is when my husband can come over. My son and there son are best friends but since my husband works he never gets to see his friend. Why does your husband feel he is being pulled apart? My husband feels pulled apart because he cares how I feel. He wants everyone to get along. He doesn't like going over there without me. I wish I knew what I could do. His friend is a good guy I hate for it to be like this.

Josslyn - posted on 06/29/2010

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I feel like that sometimes too, my husband is an afrikaner Boer and I am English, its is very difficult to accommodate and be accommodated due to the differences is values and so on.

I pray to God to give me strength and understanding as well as opening their eyes to the love we give their sons.

God Bless sister and pray really hard!!

Thinking and praying for you!

Polly - posted on 06/28/2010

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I'm sorry, that sounds really hard.
Why do you feel that they judge you? Have they said anything? Why does your husband feel he is being pulled apart?

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