Lack Of Single Men In The Church

Tynika - posted on 10/19/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )




I've been feeling a little discouraged cause I've been a single mom for 5 years and although I'm only 21 years old I'm so ready for my husband to come along. But when I look at my church I only see one man in my church who is eligible but he's definitely not my type because of some things GOD has revealed to me. How do you get out there and socialize with other single Christians? Any suggestions?


Victoria - posted on 10/30/2009




Now our church has the opposite, we have 3 single men in our Church & no single women in their age bracket. They are all believing & trusting God to bring them wives & our young adults girls are all believing for God to bring in husbands for them. They don't go seeking though, they just "be still & know that He is God" Ps 46:10

Jill - posted on 10/29/2009




i prayed for God to find me a decent man unlike all the other losers i was used to dating.... he already has a mate picked out for you .. and he will bring you two together in his time....just keep praying and he will come into your life when the time is right,.... God eventually got me together with my husband ... and i am so blessed...

[deleted account]

Hi Tynika,
I was a single mom for many years and am now married to an amazing Christian man. The truth is that I did not look for him either but I do understand the feeling of wanting someone in your life. My main focus was being a godly woman and a great mom. I was involved in so many activities with my church such as single mom ministry, bible studies and evangelism that I didn't have much time to think about what I was missing. I was also actively involved in my children's school activities so I built some amazing relationships with other single moms. We baby sat for eachother, took turns cooking dinner and ate as a family unit. I actually didn't have time for him, everytime he called me and asked me out I had other obligations which I think may have left him wondering. I would say run after being a woman after God's heart, a great mom and involve yourself in service to thers. God will give you the desires of your heart and he may not be in your current church.

Darcel - posted on 10/28/2009




I think I understand what you are trying to say: You would like to be married to a good Christian man but your pickins are slim in your local church.

I remember when I was in my early 20's married church ladies would tell me that "my fleshly desire" was the only reason I wanted to be married and I should be ashamed of myself.

UH HELLO! These where married women with husbands at home. Their "fleshly desire" was well fed thank you very much, and in the morning they had someone to talk to, to support them during lifes trails and someone to watch reality tv with. Wanting a romantic companion is a natural desire and in good conscience I can't tell you to stop looking when I have a Christian husband at home.

However I do agree with the other ladies that spending time in church scoping out the single men will distract you from listening to Gods word. I'll suggest that you not worry about it and expand your horizions. I don't mean date "wordly men" but learn what other Christian singles do in your area and join those fellowhships. For example, christian single socials with churches or bible study for singles, that sort of thing. Even if you do not meet your love match you will meet new friends and get support from other singles in your same situation.

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SANDRA - posted on 10/27/2009




Praise the Lord Tynika! I have a suggestion, the Bible says Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you. You are focus on the wrong thing, I love the mind of God,and His word says that the single woman are to have her effections towards the Lord and how to please Him. I hope that this is not offencive, but concentrate on your relationship further with Jesus Christ our Lord,allow for Him to mold you into the womenof God that He desire you to be. Be faithful and Holy to the Lord, let God create you and present you as a chase Bride to Christ,.....and a virtuious women. As you begin to grow and become strong in the Lord, rooted and grounded in the Faith, you wont have to look for a husband, he'll find you!!! The Bible says that when a man findeth a wife, he findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favior from the Lord.Get together with one of the elders (female) of the Church, partner up with her in prayer, and when you become weak, distracted, or discouraged,the two of you can take it to God in prayer. I would suggest that you also stay under your spiritual covering, and obdent to your spiritual leader the one that has to give an account to God for your soul. Take your time when it comes to dating, you don't want to expose your daughter to any dangers. May the love of God keep you as the apple of His eye in Jesus Name.

Heather - posted on 10/19/2009




I use to be where you are, and please don't be offended by what I am about to say. Looking for single guys at church is a BAD idea. It distracts you from getting the message the pastor is teaching. If you are always wondering who is single or whatever you wont build the relationship the Lord is calling you to build. Serve God first, then in God's timing he will bring a man into your life (if it is his will). He may be a man from your church, or a different church. The important thing isn't what church he goes to (although that should be discussed), but his relationship with the Lord. Not all church goers are Christians. At 21 I was also a single mom, there were no single men in my church. God had me move across the US to find a single Christian man. Then we started looking for a church together. I don't know what he will do for you, but he has his ways. God is good. Put your trust in him.

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