Legitimate reasons...to not attend a church?

Alisha - posted on 11/24/2010

Hmm I would try the first church again, people aren't always automatically nice and friendly and they probably didn't mean anything against you. Sometimes you just have to introduce yourself to others, and maybe they are actually really nice people. The other one being led by teens and the worship service leaves you uncomfortable sounds like it is not going to help you in your walk with the Lord. I would say give it a few months and not just judging your experience at the church based on a few visits. I would say pray pray pray and ask the Lord to show you where He wants you. Perhaps you can bring Christ's light into that church again and help remind people how to be friendly!

Sandy - posted on 11/23/2010

Rebecca,
You sound like me. I left the church that I had been involved with since I was a kid, and went to a smaller church. The pastor there we loved, but while we were on vacation one summer, he quit pastoring and stepped down, due to an affair. The new preacher was alright, but not as good as the previous, and we just have not felt the Lord moving quite the same since the change took place. We left the other church because there were a lot of little clicks of people within, alot of gossiping going on and little whispers all the time, which is not something God wants for us either.
You are in the little clicks or you are nobody. We are again looking for a church home, which has been hard, because I have studied the Bible extensively over the years as I write for a ministry website and I can always find something that is not Biblically right with the church.
Honestly,
it seems as though churches have come away from Biblically correct and are more worried about people finding them offensive and leaving the congregation, meaning not as much money by way of tithing and donations. It really bothers me and I have thought several times about starting an online church for those who do not go to church but could attend online, with chat, and with the ability to hear, at least, a sermon that is being given. However, I like a learning type of environment rather than an environment of sitting and hearing a preacher talk for an hour and having to keep myself awake. I like an interactive type of church session where people can get involved and answer questions or listen to answers and help others gain a better of understanding.

Laurette - posted on 11/19/2010

Oh and how true Rebecca, remain in Him and He will remain in you and yours. Best of everything and I will pray for you.

Rebecca - posted on 11/18/2010

Laurette, I grew up in the Baptist church, my dad was a southern baptist preacher, for a time.
The church we were in that the pastor had the affair was also a very fundamental (to the point of legalism), baptist church.
I think we may have tried every Baptist church in the area lol.
I know there are wonderful ones out there though, I am glad you are a part of one.
We will continue to seek His will. Thank you for the encouragement!
A Christian woman once gave me a good illustration that has stuck with me...
When we are with other believers we are like charcoals on a grill, on fire for the Lord, and helping to keep eachother that way.
If we (as one of the coals) leave, we will cool off fast.
Those were'nt her exact words of course, but something to that effect lol.

Laurette - posted on 11/18/2010

Gee Rebecca, that sounds horrible, Have you tried a baptist church, I go to a baptist church, and the first time i walked in i felt as though i had come home. I have been there for 5 years now. I also searched high and low for about 15 years for a church I was comfortable in, and yes, why should you go to a church who's pastor is having an affair, one I went to, the sunday school teacher was having an affair with one of the deacons!! So what kind of example are they setting? Sure we are all human and certainly not without fault but then they should not put themselves in positions of leadership. Keep praying dear heart, and God will put you in a place that is right for you, remember that we don't always see things that God is planning for us, so ask Him for guidance and wisdom. Perhaps even, God may want you there to welcome others and make sure they are greeted because that is lacking... At my church, each home/cell group takes a turn at welcoming people old and new.
But I believe that your prayers will be answered, God won't allow one of His flock to stray.

Heather - posted on 11/18/2010

I have ran into the issue of some of the churches in our area not having websites as well... I haven't ventured far enough to visit them yet. I'm sure the time is coming though. I just really don't like church hopping with kids. It's hard on them. It's so much easier to be able to rule them out before attending the bad ones.

Rebecca - posted on 11/17/2010

Thank you Linda, I went to Awana.org and found one 20 miles away lol, that we had attended a few years back, but they since moved. I will look into them more again.
My mom and dad used to run an Awana program, and I remember going when I was young.

Thank you Heather, we have attended the second one two times. I try to always check out websites, but many smaller churches don't have one, atleast around here lol.

Heather - posted on 11/17/2010

The first time we went to our church we were told by the pastor that he never expected anyone to make the decision about the church the first Sunday. I think I heard somewhere that you should go at least three times before making a decision, however I won't even go in a church without first checking out their website so I know what I'm getting into.

Saying this, I love our church, but my husband isn't sold on it. We are going to continue attending there, while looking around for one where we would both feel comfortable.

Linda - posted on 11/17/2010

I agree that it doesn't sound like you received a very warm welcome at those churches, but I think I would give them another chance. It may be that the people you met were fairly new too and didn't realize you were visiting....or maybe the nursery worker was having a bad day. If the teaching is sound, I think I would give it at least a month before I decided they weren't going to be friendly.

The most important thing, of course, is that they preach the gospel...and you can find that in several different denominations. I have always found a church where I lived....and even on vacation. I have to believe in America if you look long enough you can find a good one. If not, maybe you can ask a denomination which does church planting to start one in your area. When we moved to New York, the first thing I did was to go to Awana.org to find a church that has Awana. I figured that if they ran that program, they would preach the Bible also. The only problem was that the only churches which had Awana were 30 minutes away. We started attending a different church each week. It was discouraging because we did not feel comfortable in any of the churches. Finally, after a few months, the Lord led us to our church--which had a lot of kids but no youth program. We loved the church, so we stayed....and started up an Awana program there the next year. We felt like on of the reasons the Lord had brought us to this area was to start that ministry in that church.