Losing my way

Robin - posted on 03/06/2011 ( 42 moms have responded )

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Hello Christian mommies... I need some sound advice from someone who isn't so biased. I realized recently that I have slowly been losing my connection with God. I have not looked to Him to help me with my problems, instead I have turned to material things. The thing is, I had some trouble with cps for a long time due to a nasty lie mixed with ppd that ended up getting way out of hand. Recently, my case was closed but I feel as if my life is still completely messed up. I know that I should turn to God for help, but I find it hard to put my faith in Him after everything that has happened. I need some advice on how to re develop my relationship with Him in order to heal my spirit. I have tried going back to church, reading the bible, and prayer but I won't lie I get bored of it, and I feel awful for that. I don't know what to do to get that excitement and passion for God back. I love God with all of my heart and I know that I shouldn't feel this way about my faith but I sometimes feel like maybe I have been forgotten by Him and that's why it's so hard to reconnect. Any advice or encouragement would be great. If anyone else has gone through this or if you maybe have felt like this, please tell me what helped you.

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Carla - posted on 03/08/2011

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I hope it's not too late to chime in. Most people fall away from the Lord because of some trauma that's happened to them. If God is such a loving God, why does He let this stuff happen to me? And we quit believing that He CAN help us. I think you first have to realize that people have free will. We can follow God's ways for our lives, or we can go our own ways, which is what we generally do. Then the situation turns to pooh, and we run to God and say 'fix it!'. Paul said that we should rejoice when we are going through trials. Rejoice? Is he nuts? No, and he didn't literally rejoice, but to be glad that situations happen in our lives that will test exactly what we have going, God-wise. Will we trust Him when there seems to be no way out? Will we try to fix it ourselves, then take the broken pieces to Him later and say 'fix it'? God wants us to love Him, no matter what. Whether things are going well, or if they're not so hot. He wants us to hold to Him tightly.

So, sweetie, you need to have an honest talk with Jesus. Tell Him you feel like He let you down, but now you realize He was walking beside you, waiting for you to come to the realization that you are lost without Him. Tell Him that you miss your relationship with Him, and you are ready to try it again, but this time you want it to be for good, for real, for keeps. This makes His heart rejoice!

Play the worship music, talk to Him like you talked to us. He has brought me through the fires into a place of peace and contentment that I never dreamed I could ever have.

God bless, honey

Yvette - posted on 03/16/2011

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Hi Robin, I first want to say that half of your battle is over. You already know that there is strength in the Lord and you are seeking him. I understand that you just the strength to hold on. There can be no testimony without first having a test. This is your test. Don't let the devil tempt you, God has all the confidence in you that you will not fail and that you will make it through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is Jesus. Keep your head up and continue to pray. Your reward is coming, trust me. Love you my sister in Christ.

Kelsey - posted on 03/07/2011

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There is all good advice here. It sounds like you have yet to 'surrender' everything you have to Him. Your hurst, worries, passions, relationships, everything. The amazing thing is that God is in control! so that means we don't have to be!!!!! What a relief hey?
Also try waking every morning and praising God and giving Him thanks for all the good things in your life.
This may or maynot just happen overnight, feeling reconnected that is, but remember that Satan doesn't work so hard on all the nonbelievers, he is after us! and he is going to work his hardest to keep you in his grips (we've all been there, multiple times) You can defeat him by just declaring your love for Jesus. Say no to Satan and Yes to God, that could be your first step.

Autumn - posted on 03/07/2011

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Hi Robin , I understand completley..I am a fairly new christian myself ,I was born again when I was 20

(I am now 31) however back then I did not really fully understand what it was all about I just knew inside it was what I needed in my life . It wasn't untill about 23 yrs old I had a real revelation /understanding in my spirit of how deep his love was for me and I fully surrended every area of my life to him ,every area ,and he gave me a peace that surpasses all understanding , since then it has been an amazing Journey of getting to know him and listening to him speak to me and I was really wanting to because i knew he had the best plan for me ! It's in that stilll small voice we hear from him gently leading us . I will admit It can be hard sometimes when we don't feel him close all the time and to me that is just a season we all go through from time to time and will pass.. he is always with us and when you feel like that remember he is there, he is most likely testing /stretching your faith in him so just perservere through it & stay connected no matter what ,keep your listening ears open and listening to good praise music is very helpul in helping keep you lifted up and in his presence as their is a devil prowling around trying to steal your attention and thoughts away unfortunatley . Try to read a good devotional once a day , write a journal of all your thoughts and talk to god on paper like a prayer, that 's what I did and helps tremendously ,especially when you look back and see how God came through or how you are growing as a person . A few really good christian tv programs I watch help build me up such as "It's a new day" and "Joyce Myer" .. Another thing that has helped me alot is our bi weekly life group / "bible study" I have at my house that, they help keep you in touch with the people in your church and stay connected . We also have a women's gathering once a week called "life women" and it is so fun,it teaches on family ,relationships ,marriage ,children and just real life issues we face as women and it's all biblically based . I will leave you a link to check it out . maybe you can get a few ideas for your church or if you want to start something up like it ?

Enjoy your Journey my friend ,he has so much good in store for you ..he promises that !



God bless ,Autumn :-)

Lifewomen.com

AManda - posted on 03/18/2011

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I know how you feel. I felt horrible against the church and got away from God but recently I've told myself I will not let the Devil get the best of me. The thing that helps me most is to remember no matter what happens, even if it feels I'm all alone, I always give thanks to God! In the good times and in the Bad times. It's very hard sometimes trust me I know. I went though a lot last year dealing with the way the church treated my dad, who was the pastor. It hurt me so bad to see them do a pastor that way. I got out of church and recently started going back. I want to be an example for my kids so I started reading daily devotional bible verses about several different topics. I try to remember to pray every single day. Sometimes I even throw a little pray of thanks up to God for letting me live another day. Little things like that. The bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in everything for this is the will of God concerning you through Christ Jesus. It also states not to give up cause when you feel you need him most is when he is carrying you. It also helps me to sit and cry to God to hold me when I feel alone in some situations and that helps me alot also. I hope this helps you out! I'll say a prayer right now for you!
God, I pray lord that you give Robin the strength to carry on through everyday life good times and bad. I also pray Lord that you show her in some way that you are always there for her when she needs somebody to talk to, cry to, or just to hold her. Show her Lord how much you love her and bless her and her family to get back close to you! In your name we pray Amen

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Steph - posted on 03/22/2011

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Hello Robin I was excited and rejoicing with you when you said you have found a church and you enjoyed it!!! I will continue to pray for you and your spiritual growth!!! Stay excited!!! God Bless!!! P.s. Don't forget to gave your quite times in the morning I know they make the rest of my day much easier!!!

Judy - posted on 03/22/2011

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There have been a number of times when I felt my faith had become stagnant. I'm grateful to be in a cycle where I feel a bit more in touch for the past few years... I think to some degree this is normal. Look at the history of the Old Testament, the people of God as a whole went through cycles of closeness and distance for eons. David (God's beloved, who wrote the Psalms) had tremendous ups and downs. Here's what is helping me maintain a closer more consistent relationship right now... (note: I've ALWAYS gone to church, even through college when many of my peers got out of the habit). I began listening to a Christian radio station (K-Love, they have a web site you can find a local station through). They have encouraging songs, news, and general uplifting attitude. I keep a running list of people (like you, who will be on that list now) for whom I pray when ever I feel anxious or worried. That practice by itself has made a huge difference in my life, and has made me more aware of God's presence in other places. I also ask for God to bless me (something I learned from a friend) and then remember to pray "Thy will be done" and try to mean it every day. But even if those things don't do for you what it did for me, mostly just pray that God gives you the patience to get through this valley.

Melissa - posted on 03/22/2011

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First of all you need to know that God has not forgotten you and he never will forget you.. It is very easy to turn to material things instead of leaning on God for more help.. Let me tell you a little about me and hopefully it can help you out.. I am a 27yr old wife and mother of 3.. I have have 11 surgery's since I turned 18.. My pregnancy's were very rough and I and my kids almost died with all of my pregnancy's.. At this time I was not as close to God as I am now.. I didnt lean on him for things as much as I should of.. 3 yrs ago I was diagnosed with diabetes.. I was on insulin and everything.. I leaned on God as much as I could through the whole thing. Prayed 24-7.. Last year I was told that I no longer have Diabetes.. I was cured of it thanks to the good Lord.. Last April before we found out that I wasnt diabetic I had to have a major surgery done. It was a 6hr surgery..Within a few months I lost my mother and had to have a major surgery.. At times it felt it would be much easier to just give up.. But what I did was leaned on the Lord even more.. I didnt go a single minute without talking to him or praising him.. Then all of a sudden it was like the light was shinning through again.. All it takes it lots of prayers, and talking with him.. I dont know if any of this makes sense to you but I pray that it will help you along your way and hopfully show you what you need to do.. Like I said it is very easy to loose our way and get confused but its up to us to know the right way.. And God is always there to help us through it.. He knows what you need and want 24-7 all you need to do is ask.. You will be in my prayers.. I hope that this helps..

Sue - posted on 03/17/2011

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Have you tried starting your prayer time with praise? Just 5-15 minutes of real worship, telling God how wonderful He is, can help immensely. "ENTER His gates with thanksgiving, His courts with praise" If we start with praise, we draw closer to Him - and the closer you are to anybody, the easier it is to hear them, right? This is something I've been working on myself.

Steph - posted on 03/17/2011

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Hello Robin!! Let me start off by saying Jesus loves you remember his flesh died for YOU on that cross. I attend an Apostolic church and believe you me it's an awesome church to attend! They teach you the basics and study with you if you have questions they will help you fund the answer. Just talk to God let him know everything and leave everything at his feet. ( I know this will take some time ) but have faith. The bible says how can you say you love Jesus but hate thy neighbor. It's not possible. Get involved in bible studies at church. Me and some prayer warriors will be praying for you! I hope to hear good news! God bless! Greater is he who is in you then he who is in the world!!!!

Steph - posted on 03/17/2011

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Hello Robin!! Let me start off by saying Jesus loves you remember his flesh died for YOU on that cross. I attend an Apostolic church and believe you me it's an awesome church to attend! They teach you the basics and study with you if you have questions they will help you fund the answer. Just talk to God let him know everything and leave everything at his feet. ( I know this will take some time ) but have faith. The bible says how can you say you love Jesus but hate thy neighbor. It's not possible. Get involved in bible studies at church. Me and some prayer warriors will be praying for you! I hope to hear good news! God bless! Greater is he who is in you then he who is in the world!!!!

Anne - posted on 03/16/2011

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Robin our Pastor Preached on staying strong in our Christian Walk this past Sunday. THe thing that he said that really stood out for me was this:

satan does not care about us. his only motivation for tempting us is to "Poke his thumb in God's eye." satan also lives with an "Empty Bank Account" the things he offers are not his to give away. he can not offer us anything because he own nothing!

Our Pastor's Sermon was on Temptation and the results it has on our life in general and as it relates to our Christian Walk. I had never heard temptation explained in such a way. I am currently on a Spiritual Journey to lose 85 pounds. I stumble at times but since when I heard this sermon It has changed my perspective on yielding to temptation. After all that God has done for me I am saddened by, and determined, with God's help to not yield to temptation.

I will keep you in my Prayers.

Jennifer - posted on 03/15/2011

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Okay first of all, you still have the passion, it has just been placed on a back burner. No amount of Bible reading or church going is going to get that back. It is all on your walk with God. I have had the same thing happen to me not too long ago, and to get me back on track I started an online blog to vent about bad things and I have a prayer/anything goes journal. Both are my own conventional ways to tell God through my way of prayer about what is going on and what I need help with. I get my answers through subtle means, but I know He is there. You sound like me, traditional ways are harder to comply with, so get creative. One of my friends does drawings, and another does a audio journal, she records everything and lets it go to God. After each recording she says in your name I pray, Amen. She never starts it with Dear Lord though, she just starts it like she is talking to a girlfriend on the phone...just not a two way. I tried that, but it does not work for me. The blogging does. Just try different avenues and you will find the right one. God just wants us to communicate with Him, He does not care about the delivery.

Cathy - posted on 03/15/2011

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Child you are never forgotten by God! Remember Job in the bilble. God allowed the devil to test Jobs faith. You are being tested. First you should just have a conversation with God and ask forgiveness for getting stale in your relationship with him and not turning to him and ask that He renews your spirit and relationship with him. Sometimes He sends us trials to test us and PUSH us to rely on him. You say you love Him but how strong is your Faith in Him? Be open and honest with Him. He knows your thoughts even before you think them!
If you want to do a really good bible study, Do a Beth Moore study. She is great! Her "Breaking Free" and "Believing God" studies are great. You can do them right online if a church around you doesn't offer them.

Laura - posted on 03/15/2011

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One of the best ways for me to re-connect is through music. Have you given K-Love a try? K-Love isn't in all areas so if you don't have a local K-love or another christian music radio station you can listen on-line. Give it a try, music has SUCH healing power. Also, maybe a different bible version will keep you interested. I love my NLV teaching version bible. Also the new testament is more interesting then the old.. And lastly remember we need to go through the bad times for MANY reasons, please don't feel like you have been forgotten, please remember He has a plan for you and although it can seem cruel, and unfair He loves you, He wants you to go to Him in prayer. He will help you through everything, He loves you and is hurting with you and is waiting for you to to go to Him. There is a peace undescribable you can experience when you re-connect with Him. God Bless!

Alison - posted on 03/14/2011

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just wanted to say I thought Danielle made a very important point about emotions. Obedience is not about feelings. We don't ask our children if they feel like doing what we want them to do. We want them to trust that we have their best interest at heart and to follow our requests out of that trust that we love them and are on their side. Seeking the Lord and spending time with Him is easy when our hearts are full with thankfulness and we are feeling close to Him, but it seems to me that He is smiling and His heart is glad as He sees His child in a time of struggle, feeling distant, yet out of trust chooses obedience in seeking Him. Not because it "feels good" but because they truly believe that He is in control and somehow He will use all of these things for good. We may or may not know how but we can have confidence that He does! His word is truth. Praying for you right now!

Danielle - posted on 03/14/2011

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First of all, it takes a real woman of God to recognize where's she's at spiritually. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be seeking wisdom. The great news is that He said He'd give us wisdom liberally if we ask, so He is and will continue to lead him (James 1:5).

What worked for was just talking/hashing everything out with the Lord. Jesus is seeking intimacy - no pretense, ritual, or formula. He's seeking someone with an open heart and spirit. It's not like he doesn't know everything you're thinking, but because He loves you He wants your healing for you more than you do. I asked Him to show me the source of my disconnect, and He did. The truth isn't always easy to face, but He will help us in our weakness (Mark 9:24) until we get to the place where we can stand strong. When I read the word, I purposely studied scriptures on my issue (for ex: if I had a lot of bad thoughts and negative thinking, Philippians 4:8 was what I mediated on). I also think it's crucial we always study on our identity in Him, and know we are wonderfully & fearfully made. He will not complete the work He started in us. Meditating (constantly thinking on, muttering) on His great love for us builds our faith, and confidence to trust him. Our entire relationship with Him is based on faith, which just boils down to trust. Keep pressing -
He's not an emotion and isn't with you when you "feel" Him. He's always there.

Alison - posted on 03/14/2011

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I am certainly no expert but I can say no one of can accomplish this on our own strength. I have to ask for His help to even remember to come to him first before other avenues. He IS trustworthy and faithful, even when we are not. This may sound trivial but honestly when I have been in seasons where I feel distant and "can't seem to find time for Him" I have been enormously encouraged by devotionals written by Sarah Young. She gets to the heart of things and her daily writings are only a paragraph or two yet so full of truth and personal struggles that we all have. "Jesus Calling" was her first one ( there are also 2 others) and I would encourage you to see if you could find it online or get a copy. It literally takes minutes to read yet got to my my heart faster than any other devotional I read. Over and over that days' reading would speak to a struggle I felt that very day. It would help ground me...Anyway...just a thought :-) I am a Mom of 10, some with disabilities and the road is not pretty much of the time, but slowly the Lord is giving me joy in each new day. Something I have struggled with my whole life. :-) Be encouraged...you are not alone!

Joy - posted on 03/14/2011

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The best advice I can give you is this: If you want to love God passionately then you need to deal with what is keeping you from God. You. God is there and wants to have a relationship with you that is close and intimate, but if you keep putting your failures and temptations in the way then you are being your own worse enemy in this. Look at what you did and just forgive your self and know that once you ask God for forgiveness he forgives and forgets. That is where we fail, we dont' forget and therefore bring it back up like a wall between us and God.

You have the first major step down, you know where you stand with GOd and where you want to be. Is the best things in life ever easy? Or ever anything that is fun to get to? Not always, You need to work at this. Its a relationship and like with all relationships you need to work at it. Its like starting over, except that you can rest assured that God does love you and want to have a relationship with you.

Get friends to pray for you and build a support group of like minded believers at your church. The biggest way to gain a relationship with God and have passion for him is to Serve God. TO find someone to help and help them, gets your mind off yourself and onto others and allows God to work through you. Hope this helps some. It was the best advice I ever received when i was going through what you are.

Wendy - posted on 03/14/2011

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Robin, I will pray for you. You have some good advice from the ladies who have already posted. I would also suggest that you find a group that's going through Breaking Free by Beth Moore. She has some awesome Bible studies that help you see what you're going through, what the strongholds are in your life and how to get out of it. Your loving Father is there for you. Reach out to Him daily and talk to Him. He's listening. I've heard lots of great things about the Celebrate Recovery groups. I pray you can find one close to you.

Robin - posted on 03/14/2011

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Thank you all again. I went to a new church this Sunday and actually found myself enjoying it. The music was wonderful, not the same old hymns (I was raised Catholic), and the sermon was interesting to me. The preacher was able to do a sermon in a fresh way that I have never seen before. I think maybe I have found a church that I can be excited about. Also, they have a bible study called "Cell Group" on Wed. that I am going to go to. It's for adults and It is held at the associate pastor's house. I was told that if I enjoyed Sunday I would really enjoy Cell Group. I hope they are right. Sunday moved me in a way that hasn't happened in a while. I felt so good singing along with them and praying with them. I could really feel God inside this church. Please keep me in your prayers still that this climb continues upward. Im tired of being in the dark, I want to rejoin the light!!!

Samantha - posted on 03/14/2011

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Praying for you! Remember...When Jesus was crucified for our sins, we were washed clean. We are not perfect-His LOVE is. We as humans must find a way to love and forgive ourselves before we can believe we are "Good enough" to accept his love. When you are feeling apart from him-That is you feeling unworthy. But remember...He loves us so perfectly-More perfectly than we love our very own children. All the negative self-talk and lies you have allowed yourself to believe are just that-lies. We are all put on this earth as part of his plan and his works and you must stop any internal negative self-talk and start by telling yourself daily: "I am a child of the LORD-PERFECTLY LOVED and FORGIVEN. I was placed on this earth to be CELEBRATED and to do HIS works. I surrender self-hate, abuse others and myself have done to me and releasing the feeling of not being "Good enough" to my Savior. I am LOVED PERFECTLY and FORGIVEN by him. I choose to live for this moment and love myself so that I may be a vessel for his deeds and plan!" I wish you the very best and pray you feel your spirit lifted and free. You have taken the first step in reaching out and the bible says "Seek and ye shall find." Keep in mind-we are NOT perfect-only one person that walked this earth is perfect and that is Jesus. And he died for us so that we don't have to be crucified; so LOVE yourself and forgive yourself. Love to you my friend! ♥

Yoco - posted on 03/13/2011

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Hi! I am going through the same dilemma as yours. I shared my situation with other Christian women who I felt were really sincere and concerned about me. They prayed for me and are still praying for me and I can feel God's gentle nudges on me. We need help and we must seek others' help,too. God bless.

Lori - posted on 03/13/2011

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Dear Robin
I have been where you are and still am and the only thing that has kept me sane is my God And he has also helped my children. This is the second time my soon to be ex has left us. And because God is so awesome I'm in college fulltime instead of making minimum wage for the rest of my life. and I got d's and f's in high school so college isn't easy. I went out and Got a part time job so my son could be in Martial arts and thats not cheap then my daughter is in softball plus church on wednesday nights church on sunday, birthday parties school activities for them church activities social activities and homework and homework and then more homework for all of us 3 and oh ya did I mention homework. and then some sleep and I'm also going thru a divorce that I never wanted and I live in Alabama and he lives in Wisconsin so since he filed for the divorce in Wi. I have to have a lawyer with a Wi. state license. but I could go on and on but what I.m getting at is without god I would be a basket case. And I think of how my children would be and I'm good I don't bad mouth him in front of my children. So just find a church you like and make yourself go I started going for my son when he was only 1 and a half years old And I thank God everyday that I went for him I figured how else was he ever going to make his own decision about God if I didn't give a chance. It may take a hundred churches for you to try out but give them all a fighting chance. go and talk to the pastors alone after each service and explain your situation to them and ask for prayer from them you'll get to know the pastors this way also everyone on here will pray for you and we will tell our friends to pray for you I truly know the power of prayer. I still have trials and problems I go through sometimes everyday from money problems to as small as did my son use deodarant this morning but with God on my side I don't sweat it. It may happen tomorrow it may happen a year or 2 from now but with God it will. Look up Luke 12:25-26 This is the verse me and my children live by. God bless Sistah! Love ya Lori

Gail - posted on 03/13/2011

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Find the good in little things and start off small. Try not to do everything as God understands it's a learning time for you. Be encourage that others have been through what you have been through with struggles in their own lives. We have all thought at some time that God has let us down but He is always there holding out his hand for us to take hold again. Surround yourself with people who can understand and love you for who God has made you. Find a person you can one on one pray with each week and let them know your daily struggles. Life wasn't meant to be easy but knowing God is there holding our hand means that we can go through the tough times alot easier. Again I stress thank God for the small things, like, getting a parking spot at the shopping centre, the traffic lights getting you there on time, a friend sending you an email at the right time, that you wake up and the sunny is shining (not a the moment lol it's raining here in Sydney), that you have a loving family and the children's smiles and most of all God Loves YOU!

Cheryl - posted on 03/11/2011

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First I want to say Kudos to all of you for encouraging our sister in Christ. Reading your comments made my heart proud to be part of the body of believers. And to you Robin I will say remember that you are loved. Your Heavenly Father loves you with an everlasting love and He promised not to leave you or forsake you. I other words even when you don't feel Him He is still there!! God's promises are sure!! Also I want to encourage you to forgive yourself because God has already done so, as far as the east is from the west He has removed your transgressions from you. Find out what the Word of God says about you there is life and light in His word. Be Blessed
Cheryl

Carla - posted on 03/09/2011

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Heather, sweetie, I'm so glad you chose to post today. Your story needs to be told for an inspiration and encouragement to those who are struggling. We must let them know that there are those of us who have had not-so-great pasts. We struggle, we cry, we fall down, and we get back up again and follow Jesus. If you watch your children learning to walk, they try to come to you, but their feet or a piece of dust gets in their way, and they trip and fall down. At first we go help them up, but then after a while, we let them get themselves up, and they continue to walk. Pretty soon it's a dead run! Where do you think we got those instincts? From our Heavenly Father! He doesn't spank us if we fall down. He gets us back up again and says 'come on! you can do it!'

Nobody loves us like Jesus, NOBODY! Don't ya just love it!?

God bless, honey

Heather - posted on 03/08/2011

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Hi Robin,

I am not one who post very often if ever, but yours really struck cord with me. I was never much of a rebellious child. To be honest it was not until I had graduated from high school that I ever even really kissed a boy. I was always one who did the right the thing. However, it all changed when I met a young man and thought that I was in love with him. I lost my virginity to him at the age of 21, and about two weeks later he dumped me. I was devastated. It was not until a man that I had given every part of heart to left me that I really hit my spiral. I started partying real hard, and drowning my sorrows in men and booze. My parents fought constantly over what to do with me. They almost got a divorce. I was constantly begging God to help. I just could not overcome the situation. About two years into my debauchery I was sexually assaulted by a co-worker at a party. I shoved those feeling about as far down as I could and continued with my boozing and man whoring. I would write in my journal how my heart literally hurt. I just could not figure out why I was not able to overcome. Finally one day I was lying in bed with a man that I was dating and I got out of bed and went into his bathroom and I looked in the mirror and I saw nothing. My eyes were black, there was not more sparkle. I had lost my spirit. I left the house and never went back. I realized that everything that I had been doing all of the sorrow that had happened to me and all of the heartache that I felt in way compared to horror that the Lord had had to witness. His own daughter. I swore to that day that I would never do anything ever again to intentionally hurt Him. And I never have since.

I am not going to lie and say that nothing bad has ever happened to me since that day. It has. My husband and I just filed for bankruptcy and our car just went out on us leaving us with public transit. But when I look into the eyes of my two beautiful babies I know that the Lord in every way will provide. He is the love of my life and always will be. I love my husband but he will never be able to fulfill me the way the Lord does. It takes time Robin. You have to WANT to love Him. That hug that your daughter gave you and that swell of sheer joy that you had, imagine how He feels when you give Him a hug. He will never let you down. It may not seem like He is working but
He is.

The bible talks about how a day is unto a thousand years and a thousand years is unto a day. Our time is not in any way shape or form His time. Look at your life, I mean really look at it. He has always been there. You have made it through and always will, and it is Him doing it. I always marvel when after a tough period, I look back at it and think "Wow...how?" And then I think "Lord you are a real piece of work". I love Him.

Talk to Him Robin. Every day. Even if it is just about what you have to do...He loves it. He wants to be there. He wants to be that close. He wants to be that Rock for you. Let Him.

Also, one last thought. Read all of Psalms, but especially 27, 28, and 29. And read Apostle Paul. In all of time these two men I believe knew the way to the Lords heart. These men in every way encompass what I believe to be the Lord’s heart. I used to joke with the Lord that I wanted him to bring Paul’s spirit back to earth so that I might marry it. Learn who they are. There in lay the way to the Lords heart.

I am so sorry for the length of this, but the question that you asked is not a quick answer. Is easy to say Love Him, and in many ways it is an easy thing to do, but I know where you are coming from, so I also know that it is very much so also and easier said than done thing as well. I will pray that you are able to come to the true understanding of the Lord and that he meets you there in all His Glory.

Pam - posted on 03/08/2011

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Robin, your posts touched my heart so much! And yes, the hug from your daughter was God's way of saying he hears you and that hug was also from him! I know it is hard daily! The devil will rear his ugly head even when it seems like things are going good- Satan is just mean like that! Stay strong in your desire to be close with the Lord and speak out loud that you are a child of God- declare it over yourself and your daughter and let him(Satan) know that your spirit and soul is God's! If Jesus can endure the cross(beatings and nails in hands and feet) then nothing we go through on this earth is nearly as bad as what he did for us!! Yes that means YOU!! I think on that often and it helps me get through my rough spots. He hurts for you and with you and can be the best comforter you've ever had- just take it all to him and lay it at his feet. I would love to hear more of your continued success. God bless you and your daughter!

Julia - posted on 03/08/2011

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I would search online for the radio station K-love. It has encouraged me so much, no matter what I go through it lifts my spirit. See if there is a local K-love station in your area; I know you will be blessed as you are coming back into the presence of God. Also, prayer, it changes things!:)

Robin - posted on 03/08/2011

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I just want to tell everybody today that something happened that helped me take a big step. My little girl ran up and hugged me today for the first time ever. I know it sounds dumb but I have been feeling lately like she was going to grow up hating me for letting her down so much in her first year of life. I was praying that God help her to understand later that I only ever did what was best for her. It was shortly after I prayed that she ran up to me and hugged me very tightly and even kissed my leg. It helped me to see that He hasn't completely forgotten about me after all. I will have an honest talk with Jesus, because I think that is a lot of my problem. I do feel so let down and neglected by God. Thank you and once again please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. I am so glad to have a group of Christian mothers on here that I can talk to and who can help me. Also, I am going to a Celebrate Recovery meeting this Thursday. Thank you all again so much. I am on my way back to where I need to be with God.

Melissa - posted on 03/07/2011

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@ Vanessa ~ I think your stalking me lol Just kidding. You just keep posting on every thread I have :o)

Vanessa - posted on 03/07/2011

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Find a Christian radio station and listen to it. It doesn't have to be up loud. Start off having it playing in the background throughout your day. Let God's music soften your heart. Also, ask God to return the spark to your heart. I prayed that prayer about three times in my life when I got off track with him. The spark will return. I promise. *smooches*

Robin - posted on 03/07/2011

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I just want to say thank you all so much for not judging me. I am going to take the advice and find some sort of group to help me. And about the Celebrate Recovery group, i will for sure look into that as I am a recovered addict and alcoholic as well, so that is something that I think will help me further. I am also going to look into a women's bible study. Praise music hopefully will help too since I am a musician and music is a huge part of my life. Thank you all again so much and continue to keep me in your prayers please.

Rose - posted on 03/07/2011

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I agree with the other post... You should surround yourelf with people who want the best for you. The company we seek has a vital role in how we are. Also remember that you are human, we all make mistakes but we are forgiven already, you just have to ask him for it. It's going to be hard trying to live a straight life when you have negative people around you. I will be praying for you!

Heather - posted on 03/07/2011

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I really encourage you to find a group of Christian women near you that you can meet with regularly. Women who will care for you and help encourage you and inspire you. For me it was a ladies Bible study that helped me. A few people have mentioned Celebrate Recovery, or you could even just a MOPS group might be helpful.

Melissa - posted on 03/07/2011

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I am actually a leader at my local Celebrate Recovery group, we are the largest in the state of Michigan. I am so excited to see that someone posted about it before me =) People think of recovery just for addicts but its not. I truly believe that Christians that work the 12 steps in their life are living the way God intended us. It helps me to live for God in a way I never knew. It help me to find out the things that I do wrong and lets God help me to fix them, which in turn helps me to be closer to God and grow in His glory. Our CR has all kinds of groups for men and women. From addiction to codependency and sexual abuse to sexual addiction, or even just emotional healing for those that are just hurt my life. And just show me one person that hasnt been hurt by this world or the people in it. It has given me the accounability that I need to keep growing in Christ and the fellowhip is amazing!!
♥ Living4Him ♥

Here is the link to find a group near you! Praying you find what you need!!

http://www.celebraterecovery.com/?page_i...

Chanda - posted on 03/06/2011

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Everyday, I pray that God grant me the wisdom to be a good mother/wife and the strength to follow the path He wishes. I end every prayer with asking that His will be done in my life. Try to remember that He always hears, but answers in His own time. Half the battle is in understanding and seeing that you need His help - with big things and small. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless.

Linda - posted on 03/06/2011

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Keep praying. Also, have some other Christians pray for you as well. There is a spiritual battle going on for you in the heavens which you can't see, but you can read about in Ephesians 6. We do not always feel God's presence, but he is there nonetheless. In addition to what you're doing, try listening to Christian praise music. Focus on the absolutely amazing love of a God who would come to earth and die for YOU!

Rebekah - posted on 03/06/2011

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You want a healed spirit - you need to deal with the hurts in your life and find the freedom to let them go. I encourage you to look into a ministry called "Celebrate Recovery" - this would be very beneficial to you.

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