Marrige Tips :) Do any of you have some great tips to keeping your relationship healthy?

Sheryl - posted on 12/13/2010

for me it the love dear! from the fire proof movie!

Susie - posted on 12/13/2010

I have been married 31 yrs. Iam a grandmommie. My advice is pick your battles with your hubby. Also God asked me years ago Can you wake up with out this man? I said no. so here we are 31 yrs later. Good luck&God Bless ^j^

Ashley - posted on 12/12/2010

Marriage is a lot of hard work! My best advice is to bring god in your life, start attending church together. Let yourself completely believe in god, its incredible how much it helped my relationship with my husband.

Ashley - posted on 12/12/2010

I will be married for one year this month, i am 23 and me and my husband have had a lot of rough patches already. But marriage isnt easy, and its a lot of work and sometimes it can bring the worst out in you. I kept praying for me and my husband, just recently my husband has completely let god into his life. With god everything is a lot easier.

Joyce - posted on 12/12/2010

Carla, You are so right! After many years of marriage we finally feel peace and home is a great place to be. My parents were married 66yrs and they didn't always have the best of times and they had 6 children and I am blessed to have been one of them. They both have gone Home to be with the Lord and one day I know that I will see and be with them again.The Lord has allowed me to see my son grown and married and gave me a grandson who just turned 13 and he is an awesome loving Christian boy and so is my son and my sweet daughter-in-law, so my 41 years of marriage is truly a Blessing from God. Were they all easy no, but oh so worth it. I truly am Blessed and we know it don't we! God Bless you and your family and Have a Very Merry CHRISTmas. Joyce

Carla - posted on 12/12/2010

@Joyce--isn't it funny how, over the years, we have both changed, husband and wife, and have blended into one? It was done subtly, without our even realizing it sometimes. Did we both have to give up our own perceived rights in some instances? Definitely! Did we have to swallow pride? Always. But the benefits reaped by our servanthood FAR Far outweigh the righteous sense of 'being right'.

When we got married, I loved him passionately. I had never felt the intensity of love that I felt for him, at least not for a man. I had two children from a previous marriage, and I loved them like a mama lion, but men had sort of let me down. We continued in this bliss for 5-6 years, THEN the trials came. We were tested, we felt, beyond our capacity to deal with, but we survived. We separated, even filed for divorce, but in the long run, I couldn't imagine EVER living with another man. We just celebrated #38, and we love each other more than in 1972. Is it the same passionate feeling? No, I don't have that kind of energy left ;) But we love in a deep contented way that still makes me hurry home to be with him. We can sit watching TV at night, not saying a word, but if one starts to say something, the other either finishes the sentence, or says 'I was just thinking of that!' THAT is marriage!

Faye - posted on 12/11/2010

Two books/ideas available at Christian book stores: "Love and Respect," and "Love Dare." :)

Joyce - posted on 12/10/2010

Melinda, You are so right and I agree with you whole heartedly. I know exactly what you mean and thank God I can say that I have a wonderful husband whom I respect and love with all my heart. He also shows me that I am special but it wasn't alway this way. We have been married for 41 yrs. and in those 41 yrs. it wasn't always great but now that we realize and are older just how much he loves me and he knows how much I love him. We are one just as God intended us to be. We are very blessed and we know it. May God Bless you and your family. Have a blessed day to all of you! Joyce

Janet - posted on 12/10/2010

My husband and I have been married for 24 yrs. At first I was Baptist and he was Catholic but I was in love with him I didn"t think it would matter. I was married in his church with a Prist and a Baptist Pastor.When our first daughter was born . .His family wanted her baptized . Thats when we had our difference. Carl Quit going to his church and I took them back to BaptistI prayed for my husband with outquiting and he becamesaved and baptized. I know you want to know more than that. but I believe if it weren't for that we could not make clear choices together.My husband worked for Chauqua Hardware for 16 yrs when the plant folded. It was God working when he got hired at another shop doing the same job.When 5 yrs later the shop started laying off and my husband was one to go .I have been more problemswith my health .My seizures were so bad I started to have grand mal so the dr put a vns in me tohelp me its a pacemaker for seizures to stop the seizure activite.We had no insurence and his employment wasnt enough to pay the bills fidelis told me to try for ssi.My husband is proud and a hard working man and for him to get hand outs and have to humble himself he did it because God was useing these government surpport systems to help us other wise we could of lost our house , had no food, we never buy any thing unless we have the money in our hand and that is have to have things no 50 ft tv.We talk comunicaion is big . I toldmy daughter who is getting married next yr.Never go to bed mad at your spose. Never be to proud to say I'm sorry admit when your wrong and if your fighting don't ruin your marrage go and say that you are sorry and want to talk.It helps if your husband knows the Lord cause you can see the Lord working in your life and give Him all the Glory

Brenna - posted on 12/10/2010

The big thing for us is open communication lines about everything. It's also really helpful (but really hard) to accept "never minds" and forget about it - so many times my husband and I have started World War 3 because one or the other of us wouldn't listen to the other's "nevermind". Because, let's face it, sometimes we humans open our mouths before thinking about what we're going to say, and "nevermind" lets you backtrack to things that aren't harmful.

Don't focus on the negative things, and avoid words like "always" and "never". (i.e. You never help with housework, ever.) Instead, say things like "It seems that this happens a lot," or "I feel like this has going on for a long time."

The huge thing for me is to watch what I'm saying about my husband - not just to him, or to others, but to myself. When I think something like, "Oh, it just figures he'd mess up again," my attitude reflects that thought.

Also, remembering there's always another side to the story. Approaching problems in that light, trying to find the other part of it. "I feel like this is happening; what are you feeling about it?"

Melinda - posted on 12/10/2010

Man, could I write you a book about this topic! Me and my husband have been through a LOT together and have gotten closer to divorcing then I would ever like to think about!! I would have to say the book "Love&Respect" is an amazing resource. It is by a Christian author and teaches biblical principles that should be followed in a marriage. Women and Men both need different things in a relationship and have different ways of expressing themselves and their needs. Men need to feel respected, if they don't they are unhappy, while women need to feel loved. A concept like feeling loved seems so easy to us and being respected some foreign, or "why would you want to feel respected instead of loved?" but once you read this book you begin to understand the concept and your husbands needs. This is how God designed marriage! "Husbands love you wives. Wives honor your husbands!" Such a simple passage, but it really is the key to a happy and long marriage. I try to let my husband know that I respect him. Have you ever went up to your husband and simply said "Hunny, I just wanted to let you know that I respect you?" and walked away. Try it and see what happens! He will want to know why, tell him your top 3 reasons and watch the results. You can almost feel his spirits lift and see that you "hit the sweet spot". It's amazing that such a simple concept is overlooked! I also have to say that I agree that the past needs to be left in the past. You need to forgive and move on! Otherwise you will ruin your relationship with hate and hurt feelings!

Milla - posted on 12/10/2010

Read "THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES" by Gary Chapman. Great book, it will give you practical tools to understanding each other, understanding your complaints, will help you to build better communication with your spouse.

It has helped us, A LOT! I recommend this book to everyone because of the difference it made for us.
Also makes a great wedding shower gift =)

If you learn each others love language you can be sure that your spouse will hear what you are saying, and he could be sure that you will hear what he is saying. Anyways, great book!

Also "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. What if God designed marriage to make us Holy more than to make us happy?

Don't keep any secrets from each other, be transparent, don't be afraid of what the other thinks, this will help for you to stay honest, clean before your spouse and God, helps to keep you in check, accountable.

Ask God to give you the strength to accept the truth if your husband shares something that you might find disturbing, and remember God gave you to your hubby to be a shoulder to lean on, to encourage him, and to allow him to open up to you as he really is. This will help for you to build trust in your marriage.

Couple years after we were married my husband said he didnt love me, I was shocked at first, asked God for wisdom, to be able to forgive him, accept it and go on. He loves me now, =) I know he does.

Because of his job, Truck driver he is gone away from home for weeks, and he shares things with me like the way he looks at other women, how he feels, how hard it is for him to not see me for weeks, at which I said how sorry I feel for him that he has to go through this, I am with him, I thank him for being honest with me and sharing those things which he would never tell anyone, or maybe another woman if i werent listening. This is what has helped us to stay married almost 10 years, and be faithful to one another.

When he opens up to you, At those moments you want to let him know that you still accept him, not reject him. Even if you don't understand it at the time, just keep calm, ask God for wisdom, pray about it. If you reject him by your action or word, it will be hard work for you to get him to open up to you.

This is what marriage is all about, it is a place where each of you can come as you are, with your flaws and not be rejected, but be built up and encouraged.

Love is not a feeling-it is a choice!
Love is sacrifice!
Love is a safe heaven from the world for you, and your spouse.

Admit your faults, ask forgiveness, forgive, go on!
Become unoffendable! Biblical love!

Always seek God first! If you give Him priority in your marriage, obey His commands He will make you prosper in all that you are and all that you do!

Go where the blessings are being handed out, and stay there!

♥ forever

Carla - posted on 12/10/2010

Jenny, men have notoriously short memories ;) You may have to remind him until they become a habit. Don't be discouraged, and don't fall into the trap of thinking that you love him more than he loves you because YOU remember all the things and do everything you can for him. This is one the the differences between men and women. It's the way they're wired. Love him, praise him, look at the glass half full instead of half empty, and you will have a happy marriage.

God bless, darling!

Gladys - posted on 12/09/2010

Communication. Keep talking to each other and make sure your husband knows how much you not only love him but respect him. Tell him that. We don't think to tell them that we respect them often enough and guys need that.

Jenny - posted on 12/09/2010

wow, thank you for everyone of you that has replied. I cant believe how great your replies are. So many things to think about and keep in mind. I did not expect to get so many great pointers. but i have. thank you God for all these wise women that have shed some of your truth with us all. Thank you.

regarding the last reply, yes there are some things in the past that have happened between me and my husband that are hard to forgive, even though they are not big. Mainly promises that were made and not kept :( This one gets to me quite badly. Really can eat away at me. I am learning to forgive and admit that i make mistakes too, we are only human after all.
We also had a shaky past to begin with (i.e before we got married). He had a lot of trust issues because of some terrible things that have happened to him in the past so it was very hard for him to be committed and to give himself to me and to trust me.

We are working everyday on our marriage, and he has made some amazing changes these last couple days. It may be all due to your preys :) I hope he can keep this up. And i hope i can be a better wife to him to encourage him to keep going.
I have a big fear of things not lasting, him going back to his old ways and habits. Its only through new positive memories that we can create a new history.

Thank you again for taking the time to write.

Linda - posted on 12/09/2010

I learned these things from my church. Going to church on the sabbath as a family will do wonders.-married 41 years

Linda - posted on 12/09/2010

I have a few tips that are good. #!-do what you did to get him to date you to keep him. You would always try and look your best never let him see you all sloppy and unkept. (ladies I can hear you all now but really we are the glue that holds it all together.) It will mean you will have to re-adjust ur schedule a little. #2- Plan a date night. at least once a month without the kids. you 2 need to re-connect in a way with being rushed or children around. If money is a problem plan a moonlight picnic walk holding hands, talk without being interrupted. Have him pick the activity.You see one day ur childrwen will grow up and off thry will go and your husband and you will look at each other and wonder "who the hell is this person" if you do not start now. I have more but if you can do these honey you will turn his head all over again.
linda sickles

Joyce - posted on 12/09/2010

In life we all will encounter difficult times but God gets us through all of them. Even in hard times He has showed me that He is present and they have made me a stronger person. He may be trying to prepare me because He may be sending someone in my path that may be going through something that I just got through with and made it. God Bless! I can honestly say He is my strength and joy and my comforter in any situation.

Gloria - posted on 12/09/2010

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain!

Lauraculver - posted on 12/09/2010

When I read some of your replys.. it seems like maybe some bad things have happened that make the past hard. If Im correct I can tell you that the hardest thing to figure out sometimes is forgiveness. I dont mean forgiving eachother only, you have to forgive yourself also. That was the hardest part for me. I was a bad person to my husband for a long time and then finally the Holy Spirit got ahold of me and helped me to get clean up all the wrong. I confessed alot of things to my husband and he to me and together we started the healing proccess. We have a really great growing marriage and could NOT have got that without God being first in it. We have our moments from time to time but its always important to say your sorry no matter if your wrong or not. God created us to be opposites because after all if we are both exactly the same then one of us isnt needed. Every person on this planet was given wonderfully different qualities and perspectives on things so its important to except that we need to be different and have different oppinions, and sometimes its ok to agree to disagree and nobody has to be right. Hope this helps..

Jenifer - posted on 12/08/2010

Candy (with her first post) had the best idea. "Fireproof" is an amazing movie, and personally I think all couples, married or otherwise should see it. Just remember that you love him, and he loves you, or you wouldn' t be together. A marriage is a partnership, and it is both give and take. I thank God everyday for my husband and our family. Both the good and the bad. We are human and forgiveness is devine. Good Luck and God Bless!

Ashlee - posted on 12/08/2010

Wow, this is fantastic... am loving all the advice... I need it too! Thanks for posting this :)

Joyce - posted on 12/08/2010

Jenny, I have been married for 41 yrs. and all of those years were not great, but with God's help I have a great marriage. Live one day at a time. I have learned that no marriage is perfect because we are not perfect people. We all make mistakes and God knew that we would, but He is the only one that can carry our load when they become to heavy for us. Always remember that He is our joy and our strength in times of trouble. Start each day as if it were your last and Thank God for allowing you to have another day. We aren't promised tomorrow but He gives us another day because He has a purpose and something else that He wants us here for. Trials are like storms after the storm there is a rainbow. May God Bless you and I will be praying for you. God made you so remember that we are really special to Him.

Rebecca Ramirez - posted on 12/08/2010

The best thing to do about those things that ruin your day is write it down ponder over it and how you would like to solve the problem then come back when you have a cool mind and clear thoughts and talk about it instead of yelling about it. Don’t let money be one of your problems because weather you were together or separate you would still have the same main bills. Instead of talking about your problems which can lead to fighting talk about other stuff like you did when you first fell in love. Have a date night and reconnect with each other and fall in love all over again.

Carey - posted on 12/08/2010

regular dates are a great thing. We have found over the last 18 years of marriage that when we don't have a specific day a week that we go out, we don't do it. Even if you can't do once a week, get it on the calendar. It doesn't have to be expensive. We've gone out for drinks or dessert and then head over to Barnes and Noble for a while. Or a walk. Something without the kids. Some great books are A Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas and another is Love and Respect, but only read your portion, not what he's supposed to do or it can be frustrating. Make sure you are giving your 100%. I tend to focus on what he's not doing right and trying to fix him. Another great book is Power of a Praying Wife....so great!

Nina - posted on 12/07/2010

We haven't gone through major trials but i would say as woman we need to build our husbands up and everything you would your husband to do for you you need to do for him. I have started small by praising him at least once a day for something. Or telling him he is my gorgeous hunk. It tell you it works!!
One other thing, do a daily chapter of the Prayerful wife from Stormy Omartin, very good book!
It's also a journey of self discovery and the more work you put into your marriage you will find it's not necessarily what your husband can do for you that makes you happy but it's all about self love, self growth this in the end will make you happiest and will therefore improve your marriage so much as your husband will see a light shining through you. but it's an ongoing process, as with anything really! hope that helps
x
Nina

Prudence - posted on 12/07/2010

Ive seen alot and heard alot of how not to do it, which has helped me and my husband know what we can and should do in our marriage to keep it growing. I think thats a key point you dont just want your marriage to keep going, but growing.
My parents have been married for just over 30 years, and only a few years ago did my mother tell me that she had never been in love with my dad. That almost broke my heart, for her and for my dad. I told myself i wouldnt do that when i got married. My brother and his wife have always been very negative toward each other and are now getting a divorce...so i decided that divorce would not be an option in my marriage and i would try (to the best of my ability) to be positive toward my husband and my marriage. My husband and i have only been married 4 years, but we love each other more now than we did when it was all "mushy love". Which i think is so important. We talk everything out, even if its hard. We never go to bed without telling each other that we love each other. Im sure you may know all these things, but its nice to be reminded. God bless you Jenny.

Tiffany - posted on 12/07/2010

Plan time for the little things as well as the big. Even sexual relations, that is also something God gave us and we need it as a couple. If your life as a family is busy, take a break from things at times, even church. Just one Sunday every 6 months or so. Take that day and do nothing but relax, make simple things for food instead of things that take forever. If you have family near by, ask if they would like to have the litte one/s visit for a few days to a week. My parents have been 3 hours away from us for the 4 years of our marriage and has had our daughter (3 now) a number of times for a week. One time, my husband and I woke up on a Wednesday that week she was gone, moved to the couch and stayed there all day. We watched movies, listened to worship music and worshipped God together as a couple, and we talked. It isn't always the big things that matter, but also the little things. When tough times come, remember your psrtner's love language. This could be simply cuddling, hugging, kissing, maybe cuddling and tickling. I could go on. But another major thing is communication. Not just with each other but with God too. Be sure to sit back and listen as well as talk to Him. He can talk to you in different ways, through your own thoughts, visions, even someone else telling you something they wouldn't know because you never told them something but they came up and gave advise on a certain subject.

Shannon - posted on 12/07/2010

Here are a few things that we have done.

My husband and I have been married almost 4 years now and even though it is not a long time to many it is a great milesstone for us. We started out with The Love Dare and Fireproof. That worked for a bit but was not what was needed in our marriage. We needed something more. I started listening to Duane Sheriff (he has a website and a facebook page). He has an entire teaching series on Marriage. I listen to these all day. The other thing that has helped us is we have learnd how to actually communicate with each other. It is so much harder than everyone thinks. We sat down and asked each other what they wanted. His big hang up was my job. I was working way too much and was not home enough for him and the kids. He is very much from the old school way of thinking,, the wife stays home and takes care of the children and the house and the husband works. I was willing to sacrifice my income to stay home wih my family if it meant keeping my marriage in tack and not having to be unhappy. Not a lot of women in this day that we live in are willing to do this. I have made sacrifices and so has he to make our marriage strong.

Jessica - posted on 12/06/2010

We have been through so much! There are a few things that will make your marriage glorious. First love the Lord more than anyone/anything, next comes your husband THEN your children, then all others. Don't allow being a mom cloud your love and passion for your husband. Ensure you are serving him as if he were The Lord. Why? Because the Bible commands you to do so. Do your part to respect and honour your husband, regardless of how he is to you. This will allow your husband to feel complete unconditional love.
You will be the jewel in his crown and he will love you..which is what he is commanded to do. Do not concentrate on his responsibilities and don't play the Holy Spirit.
Don't allow angry thoughts to go on like a broken record in your head. Force them out with prayer, Christian music and positive activities.
Do not disparage your husband..to anyone. Lift him up to your friends!
Have sex like you did in the beginning..yes, before kids! Enjoy each others bodies!! That's what God made them for! It also helps to safe guard your marriage from affairs..trust me, I learned the hard way..
Love him for him, not who he could be with work..again, not your problem. Don't point out sin and judge him, again, not your problem.
Focus on being the best wife ever, not on having the best husband ever.
Do not have crushes on other men. Do not wish your husband did something another man did..surely there is something the other man does that you would really hate.
Do not think about other men. If the thought comes into your mind cast it out. Never entertain fantasies about other men. Never see yourself without your husband. Always fantasize about growing old together.

I hope this helps!

Melissa - posted on 12/06/2010

My husband and I got married when I was 3 months pregnant. We of course fell into sin, but I know my God forgave us! Anyway, shortly after we got married we would argue and fight about any little thing. Pregnancy changes you!! Now Allie is 1 mth 2 wks old and we were arguing since she was born..well i was watching joyce meyer as i do mostly everyday and she really spoke to me in her message, later that night we got into it again, so i was going through the motions in my head like "im right, hes wrong all the time " blah blah, well i asked God, what do u want me to do God? He said treat him the way you would treat me!" uh oh! well needless to say we get along great now and talk about everything, and i always remember no matter what i dont have to have the LAST word lol!

Cassie - posted on 12/04/2010

I have been married going on three years and my spouse and I have yet to have an argument. This is not saying that we don't disagree or get mad at one another, nor does it mean that we will never get into an argument, but we talk about everything! We are very honest with each other.



One thing that I am continually learning and what I think is important to remember is that marriage is not solely bringing together two people but bring together two people and their different flaws, opinions, upbringing, etc. Being able to acknowledge, accept and learn how to work together with those differences definitely strengthens a marriage.



Most of all God comes first in our marriage. We pray together and we read the bible together. I think if you have that foundation you can't go wrong.

Fleur - posted on 12/03/2010

I am learning each day different things about my husband and our union. Never taking things for granted, going on mini dates, Leaving notes at his desk, bringing him a surprise for dessert from the store, etc. We are each other's best friend. Each day we can't wait to hang out and see each other after the work day. We try to share each other's interest and support each other's creativity. I like to scrapbook, read, and sew. He will surprise me with a gift from one of those areas or surprise me with breakfast. I try to be a better listener for him because he is a great listener for me. My shortcomings and his balance each other out. I thank God everyday/night for my family knowing that one day we will all be separated as life tends to do that. Everyday is not promised, it is a blessing. Some days are hard, but remember you have each other to get through those days.

Chidinma - posted on 12/03/2010

I'm married to a man who is completely different from me, yet we each other to bits. The key for me is communication. Letting sleeping dogs lie is like covering a festering wound, it never heals. We always try to talk about any issue that comes up and settle it at that point. We also try to make out time for us alone. And then, best of all, Christ is our anchor, a family that prays together, stays together.

Anita - posted on 12/02/2010

Of course, the best tip to keeping your relationship is being honest about your feelings. Even when sharing may hurt, honesty keeps the relationship valid and produces growth!

Nancy - posted on 12/02/2010

A good marriage is built on the foundation of spiritual values shared with each other. Equally important is a close relationship with the Lord. The spiritual growth of each partner is essential. Marriage is not just the bonding of a man and a woman. It is the Lord, the husband, and the wife bound together by sumission, respect, and love. A good marriage is built on commitment and hard work. Commitment holds the marriage together when difficulties arise. When I disagree with what he is doing, love motivates me to work on our relationship anyway. Love is caring more about his needs than my own. Love succeeds because each one is meeting the needs of the other. Building a good relationship through communication is not easy. Communication requires taking turns listening to each other's ideas. God gave us two ears and one mouth. Therefore, it seems logical to me to listen twice as much as I speak! Listening is focusing on what the other person is saying. Thnking about what you want to say next is not listening. Good communication takes time. Time=Relationship! No time. No relationship!

Terri-lee - posted on 12/02/2010

ps i just heard a great msg on marriage by Ps Creflo Dollar. one line out of it I remember was "We need to be CHRISTIANS before we are married" He didnt mean it literally, he meant, we spend so much time trying to sort out our marriages, but the answer is simple. BE A REAL CHRISTIAN. in the privacy of the place you call a home, where nobody else is watching or hearing (aside from God), be a Christian. If we do this to our families, there wouldnt be any problems. Its so true! Love walk, once again :-)

Nikkole - posted on 12/01/2010

Talk about things,show affection all the time,remember to say i love you,try to make time for just you and your husband,listen to others advice but decide on things your-selfs, and never go to bed angry !

Jenny - posted on 11/30/2010

Great advice Candi :) And yes, it takes a lot more maturity to communicate face to face vs via text message :) !

Candi - posted on 11/30/2010

COMMUNICATION!!!! Talk about things.
First of all, build your foundation on Christ. Fall in love, not lust. Find what makes your spouse sparkle, and keep doing it. When things go wrong, don't hold it in, talk to your spouse, not your parents, about it. If you have an issue with your spouse, tell them!
So many young relationships will not be able to get off the ground b/c young people can't communicate. They can text until the cows come home, but to open their mouths to say something seems so out of the ordinary. Good Luck

Carla - posted on 11/30/2010

@Diana B, welcome to the group, sweetheart! I hope you have many wonderful posts in your future :)

Jenny, asking questions shows wisdom. It also shows humbleness, that you know you don't have all the answers, but are not above asking for them! We all need help from time to time, and we have a GREAT bunch of ladies here that are willing to share their experiences with you, some good, some not-so-good, but the bad ones also teach us ;)

God bless, darling, praying for a marriage full of everything you want!

Jenny - posted on 11/29/2010

Thanks for sharing Carla :) Well done on your 38 years together.
I often get that too, where my husband has to explain that he did not mean things in the way that i took them!

Diana - posted on 11/29/2010

im new hear and i wase woundering the same thing

Carla - posted on 11/29/2010

Great, Terri-lee. You have received some good advice for growing two different people into one. God sees us as one person, not two. Everything that is done, should be viewed as doing it to yourself as well as your husband. Do you want to be nagged? No? Then don't nag your husband! Do you want to be encouraged? Encourage your husband! Do you want to be loved? Love him.

Jesus called us to be servants. That does not just mean the wife, that means both of us. We are to serve each other in love. Not to be a slave, but serve in love.

One thing I have learned is that if my husband does or says something that offends me, I take 24 hours before I answer back. I pray, get the anger out, and examine the offending action/word. THEN I can ask 'did you mean that?' You would be amazed at how many times he said 'I didn't mean it that way, honey!' Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Will having a fight over this be worth a sleepless night? Usually not.

Marriage is rough and ugly sometimes. Making a truly one person out of two causes friction. Look at things objectively before you give your answer, pray and love him. We just celebrated 38 years; we didn't get it together until #30. Marriage truly takes a lifetime!

God bless, honey

Jenny - posted on 11/28/2010

I love that one Heather :) that's great advice.

Heather - posted on 11/28/2010

My best tip is to be very mindful of what you say. Think about what you are going to say before you say it and how he will take it. Don't say things that are meant only to hurt him (not as easy as it sounds, but if I can't say anything nice I try not to say anything at all).

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~ Ephesians 4:29

Barb - posted on 11/28/2010

Jenny there are no BIG secrets to having a great marriage save one. If your relationship is founded in Christ, if your foundation was built with the characteristics of Christ will for your lives, then you have already blazed past so many others. If not, go back and rebuild. Yes, it is possible. It's been done in my life and many others. If your goals are the same, then setting out to accomplish them is very individual, but yet as one. Go back to your dating days and don't give them up. You are NEVER done dating each other. Take turns creating the dates. Remember,no relationship will ever be better than your relationship with the Lord. When that is sound, so will your marriage. You are right to believe it is not easy. Look at all the relationships God shares with us through His Word. They were not easy too. Decide to love, decide to honor, and decide to respect. It will be reciprocated. God bless you in seeking counsel.

Jenny - posted on 11/28/2010

Thank you for your input :)

I have watched fireproof a few times already, it is a great movie. Teaching us to be selfless so that the other can see our love :)

What im trying to do now is enjoy every blessed moment and just be in it without bringing up the past as that ruins the moment. Gotta learn to keep my mouth & mind shut and just enjoy any beautiful moment for what it is :)

Shannon - posted on 11/28/2010

marriage is forever and if you look at it like that there is no other way. it is alot of work My SO and I have been together for over 11yrs now and have been through addiction together and we made it and hve 3 boys also and for them we will keep on working throug our differances it just make your relationship that much stronger.

Candy - posted on 11/28/2010

Grow together and always talk it out.