miscarriage and next child

Cheryl - posted on 12/02/2009

Thanks for all your advice and thoughts. My husband and I did pray when this happened in their lives that if we could be used to show God's hand and love, that He would use us. I guess I need to be patient and realize there's a long road ahead called life. :-)

Celicia - posted on 12/01/2009

Everyone grieves differently, or chooses not to grieve. She may have tried getting pregnant again because she couldn't deal with the loss. You have a belief in a God, a stronghold that can hold you up, but she doesn't. I think that, that has got to be the loneliest place to be. I lost my first daughter at 25 weeks pregnant when I went into preterm labor and the chord wrap around her neck, and then a year later I miscarried at 10 weeks. Each time I couldn't bring myself to grieve and just went back to work literally a week after the preterm and was working while miscarrying the second time. It was hard, and eventually it did catch up with me, like it will her. Just try to be there for her, because after that new baby comes into her life, it will probably hit her like a ton of bricks that she never even got to see her lost baby. She will probably regret never holding him/her or having any type of ceremony and that could cause her to go into a depression. I know that you probably really want to say something, but it won't change her current pregnant state and eventually it will catch back up with her. At that point you can lovingly tell her that she should have given herself time to grieve. Pray for her, she's in for a rough ride, as you know, but she only has humanly affection to cling onto while you have the peace that God has a purpose, plan, and place for Hannah. I hope this helps and I really hope that this will be a chance for your sister-in-law to see God's hand at work.

Victoria - posted on 12/01/2009

I've had several miscarriages. At one point we thought we'd never have kids. The last one I had we got pregnant again 2 months after, and she is my oldest daughter who will soon be 8. Nothing can replace the 6 babies I lost, but they are with God & I have to carry on. I now have three beautiful daughters 8, 4 & almost 6. My sister also had a miscarriage when I was expecting my middle daughter. Baby died at 12 weeks & they didn't find out until 16. However she didn't wait either & now she had a beautiful son who is 5. I also have a friend who was 10 weeks when they had to remove the fetus as it was outside the uterus & wrapped around her overies (etopic pregnancy) She waited a couple of years before getting pregnant again, more so out of fear than anything she has since told me.

I think what is right is different for everyone & we can't really judge that what was right for us is what is right for them.

Just keep them in prayer, for the pregnancy & the emotions of it.

Kris - posted on 11/30/2009

I miscarried at 11 1/2 weeks only to learn that my baby died at around 8 1/2 weeks and my body was doing what it was suppose to be doing starting with some very light spotting to which I went in for an ultrasound which showed no heartbeat and a very tiny baby. I miscarried at home and did not have a D&C though an ultrasound picture of "Baby." It took a while for me to feel "normal" again after the hormones and recovering from the miscarriage which lasted about 4 days and bleeding for another 4 weeks. After 8 months, I learned that I was pregnant again and this pregnancy is going much better than the first. My due date is March 29th. So far so good. My husband and I are very excited and I know our first baby will be waiting to meet us when the Lord takes us.

Rebekah - posted on 11/30/2009

I had a miscarriage, but mine was much earlier I miscarried at 10 weeks along - so I couldn't feel movement or hear a heartbeat or anything. But it was a very hard thing to go through. My husband and I didn't really talk about it, I deal with things more privately and like to be alone... but during my alone time and crying out to God, God gave me a vision of a beautiful baby boy in His arms, and that brought my heart to peace and that was 2 weeks after I miscarried. We didn't end up pregnant again for almost 2 years, but we also weren't trying for it. My husband and I agreed in prayer that we will love God no matter what He gives or what He takes away. In the next year, I really felt a growing of faith inside of me and started seeking out Scriptures on child bearing and my husband and I started praying the Scriptures and speaking it out that within this year I would end up pregnant, sure enough I ended up pregnant in December and found out the day after Christmas.



I believe pregnancy is a God thing! It's His plan when conception happens - and I don't believe there is anything that we as people can do about it. For my husband and I tried for 4 years, I did ovulation tracking, used doctor's advice, even other medical things and we never ended up pregnant... the child that I miscarried was during a time when my husband and I gave up on getting pregnant. When God knows you're ready, it will happen.