My 3 year old and 4 year old will not stop fighting!

Danie - posted on 11/05/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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They fight over toys, hit one another for no reason, become jealous very easily, and can never get along! My 3 year old is bigger than my 4 year old, and my 4 year old takes advantage of him...I have tried explaining to them they couldn't fight, and I have explained that they could hurt one another. I have even tried time out. What can I do? I am afraid they will really hurt one another one day!

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Heather - posted on 11/06/2009

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I tell my kids if they can't play nice then they can't play together. I separate them like Anne mentioned. One has to go to their room and the other outside or in the living room. They rotate every time. They usually get bored by themselves fast. I would also agree that teaching them what Jesus wants from their behavior is a great idea. Maybe start a Bible study with them before or after supper. Talk about what love is, or being gentle. Or you could even just start with the ten commandments.

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Shelley - posted on 11/06/2009

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Tell them if they cannot quit fighting they will have to hug each other for a certain period of time like 5 minutes. Then make them do it, standing, hugging. I did this with my daughters and one time when their time had accumulated a little over 30 minutes. They were tired and complaining while they were standing and hugging and so I allowed them to sit and hug. Before you know it they are laughing and getting along great. Forgot all about fighting. Good luck. If they are being very violant and out of control separation works good too.

Jan - posted on 11/06/2009

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May the Lord be with you and give you peace! I've repeated the Scripture, "as much as you can be, be at peace with everyone." I try to honor my children's need for both quiet time and structured activities when they begin to fight. I'll give them something to do seperately or tell them it is time to go somewhere they like. No privileges until they stop.

Anne - posted on 11/05/2009

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Hi Danie, I wonder if you tried even before they started fighting to make them play in their own room for a day. If they share a room mabe one could play in the bedroom and one in the living room, and then change after a given amount of time. Explain to them that because they are not getting along they can not play together today. Also explain to them that it makes you sad and that Jesus dose not like it when we are mean. Remind them that God wants us to Love every one.

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