My 6 year old daughter asked me how an unmarried teenager had a baby!!

Jennifer - posted on 03/05/2011

We teach our children that all babies are made by God. Our son just turned four, and we taught him that Mommy and Daddy asked God for a baby, and God have us him. Then we wanted very much for another baby, so God gave us his sister. We have not said anything about the order in which things happen... as in, getting married, then having babies. I am hoping that when he encounters someone that is having a baby out of wedlock, we can tell him it is part of God's plan for that person to have a baby, because even though we don't agree that it's good to have a baby out of wedlock, we want our son to recognize all children as children of God.

Teresa - posted on 03/02/2011

You're lucky then Julie. My twin 9 year old 4th grade girls have been chasing and trying to kiss boys since the first grade. I REALLY have to be proactive w/ these two.....

Betty - posted on 03/02/2011

I feel blessed to be a part of this community, every information well said, thanks everyone. As a mum I need as much information as possible.

Julie - posted on 03/02/2011

I haven't stopped explaining sex - just stopped trying to explain complex things. I stick to a simple "only married people should have sex", but the complexities of what happens if you have sex outside of marriage, I'll leave til a little older.

Thankfully my daughter thinks boys are those things that you beat up and kissing is "yucky". When things change, we'll have a bit more in depth "talk".

Judy - posted on 03/01/2011

The key to answering kids questions about sex is to keep it short and simple, if they ask more questions they may be ready for more information For example you can say...Teenagers have babies the same way mommy had a baby, but it isn't a very good choice. (I often use this phrase with children: "You CAN jump off the roof, but is it a good choice?" They can understand that concept, which makes it easier to apply to more complex situations. If that short answer sparks another question continue to be brief and honest till she stops asking questions.

Teresa - posted on 03/01/2011

Don't give up Julie. Lack of information is one way we get pregnant teens in the first place. Just tell her what God's plan is, but that not everyone follows God's plan (and that even people TRYING to follow God's plan make mistakes sometimes). The two of you could also pray for her father together.

Julie - posted on 03/01/2011

I really wish I knew. I struggle as to how to explain to my 9 year old why her daddy is wrong to have several other potential children out there despite several of them being conceived while we were still married.

I'm also stuck on trying to explain the difference between abandoning your spouse to marry your mistress, and the abandoned spouse remarrying many years later - I have several family members in that situation - remarrying many years after a cheating spouse has demanded a divorce to marry their mistress. I've given up trying to explain anything to do with sex and marriage to my daughter.

Sarah - posted on 10/17/2009

Thank you everybody for your help. I got good advice from everybody and will put it into action. Again, thank you!!

Cassandra - posted on 10/17/2009

Sex talks should happen at an early age. You don't have to go into great detail let your child ask questions and answer as honestly as you can for their age. And just because you answer honestly doesn't mean that you have to act as though it's ok to have sex before marriage. Go to the scriptures and read to your child what God's plan for marriage and sex are. Then tell her that people do sin. In just the same way she may be disobediant with you others can be with God. I started telling my children what God's plan for sex and marriage was when they were young. I told them what I believed and told them what God expected. And they now are adults and what ever their choices are is between God and them. I can stand in front of the Lord and know that it is out of my hands. I did my part in training them up.

Go to your concordence in your Bible and research it - that's what I did. I was surprised how much God talks about it in the scriptures.

Rabecca - posted on 10/16/2009

I can relate I was 25 unmarried and pregnant and my 6 year old niece asked me very loudly at thankgiving dinner in front of my 90 year old grandma "wait your not married how did you get that baby in your tummy" I just froze and giggled nervously .

But of course now if it were my child I would be as honest as possible just say that you dont have to physically be married to have a baby people can live together like a married couple which is not what Following God word at 6 that would probably be enough to answer question they have my son who is almost 9 now has asked me similar questions over the last few years I just tell him the truth but not in detail and if ther is more to it I just say you know thats about all I am going to talk you about this there is more to it but I think we need to pick this converation up again in a year or two or however long it is till I think he needs to know the rest and honeslty hes just like okay but it gets him used to the idea of bringing up things he really need to know and confortable that he can come to me with questions .

To me by nine they need to know at least the mechanics of ther bodies and also what you expect of them as far as waiting until marriage and how things work also that even when we mess up God is always there always ready to help us find our way and all children are from him a true blessing no matter how they came about but you can live not in accordance with his word but when you do that you arent revieving all the blessings in your life that he wants to give you and that makes your life harder than it already can be and yes that some people dont know what God asks of us and instead of looking at them as sinners we need to look at them as people that need help and our prayers that they will come to know him

Lizzie - posted on 10/16/2009

As Heather said, it might be good to be honest, maybe not go into all the details of the 'sex talk', but just say that these people are outside of his perfect plan, because God loves to put babies in families, because that's the best place for them. Stress that Gods intentions towards us are good, and loving, and because he cares about us, but some people prefer to live their own way, and they need more love and lots of prayer.

Heather - posted on 10/16/2009

My 5 and 7 year olds know that it is God's plan for us to get married and then have children, but they also know that not everyone knows God's plan. Some people do it in the wrong order because they don't know Jesus, or just because they make a mistake. God still loves them, but he doesn't like it when we disobey him.