My daughter and school.

Carla - posted on 09/22/2011

@Angela--I grew up during the feminist age, but I am not a feminist. I am a Mrs, and proud of it.

If a child wants to show respect and call me Mrs, I accept it in the manner it conveys. All my kids' friends called me Mrs Allaire, until they got comfortable, then I was 'Mom'.

Isn't it beautiful that we all are so diverse, and yet can come together in this common arena?

God bless, all!

Angela - posted on 09/22/2011

Totally agree with what Barbara said there Kelsey - don't be afraid to ask questions! Or make suggestions! This is YOUR child they're educating!

Anne - posted on 09/22/2011

I agree with Barbara. When our daughters were in school I make it a habit to Pray for them by name before they went off to school. I was Blessed to have Child Care in our home so I was home when the girls went to school. I would even Pray for the Day Care Children that were leaving my home for school. I was VERY Upfront about being a Christian and NONE of my Parents had a problem with my Praying for their children. I did miss a few days of Praying with our daughters each school year. On those days I made sure I Prayed several short Prayers through out the day.

Barbara - posted on 09/21/2011

Kelsey, coming from a public school educator, there is much to be concerned about; however, my children are in the public school system and I know that God is using them in ways that glorify Him! Know that many teachers are Christian and are doing their best to exemplify life from a Christian perspective. Also, be sure that you are an active part of your child's education. Don't be afraid to question anything (Even in pre-school!) Pray daily and be active in your child's education and you will see how God works, even in the midst of chaos and spiritual confusion!

Angela - posted on 09/21/2011

Well if the teacher is cool with the kids either using her first name or calling her "Ms" then that's good - that's diversity and a lesson's there for all the kids! I originally took your post to mean that ALL the kids were calling her by her first name.

Diversity & multi-culture is important for children to learn and appreciate. I'm sure the foundation you've provided for your children is steadfast and they'll be happy to integrate with others who are different but no less worthy than themselves.

Having gone to a traditional school myself, college at 16 was a culture shock when everyone was on first name terms! Later college in my 30's, and 40's was more natural - the tutors were (mostly) younger than me!!

I hope your daughter enjoys her school experience and is educated to a high standard that satisfies your expectations.

Carla, you're a star and so brave! I cringe every time anyone calls me Mrs Beveridge. I have a real aversion to the title "Mrs" - I do like "Ms" better! But best of all is my first name OR first name + last name. To be honest I hate titles altogether!

Kelsey - posted on 09/21/2011

Maybe I should specify. The teacher said the children may use her first name and said some kids automatically call her Ms.
Anyway, I just hope that I have built a solid foundation for my kids of Biblical morals and that I continue to do so and they know to depend of God for everything. I want them to grow to become Godly women, but I supose I should take one day at a tme.

Carla - posted on 09/21/2011

I think the child should use the title her mother has taught her, whether the teacher has given her permission or not. I have a lot of children call me Mrs Allaire, and that is fine. I had one boy tell me he felt is was respectful, even though I had given him permission to call me Carla. Who am I to tell him he can't respect me the way he wants to?

We each have our own parenting rules, and the teacher should respect that. If the child feels uncomfortable with this, but is told it's all right, will that tell her that if someone tells her to do something wrong, and she feels uncomfortable that it's all right? Stick to your principles, Kelsey.

God bless, all!

Angela - posted on 09/21/2011

I believe the most respectful way to address people is the way they personally prefer - Whether this be "Sandra", "Mrs Jones" or "Teacher" - they should respect the preference of the person to whom they're speaking. Going against what every other child calls the teacher isn't especially respectful, it's being defiant!

However, the tradition within this school isn't necessarily the preference of every teacher that works there, it may just be school policy, and school policy apparently MUST be adhered to!

Having said that, putting "Ms" in front of their FIRST name is less formal than putting it in front of their surname so isn't too bad.

I do agree that children don't have the right to regard themselves as peers to adults, they're NOT "equal" - yet - but I don't feel that children addressing me by my first name indicates this! All adults in a child's life need to be positively influential and I personally prefer that parents and grandparents should get addressed as "Mammy", "Grandma" etc ... But special titles don’t apply to ALL other adults.

I live in England where we called our teachers "Miss" and "Sir". But EVERY kid did this - including the kid who was the teacher's son. It's the same in my workplace where lots of the staff have sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, parents, spouses, partners etc ... also working in the organisation. Your mother may work alongside you and you have to call her by her first name. Otherwise an obvious "relationship" outside of the professional one becomes obvious and undermines the job we do.

For a child to address the school teacher in an entirely different way to other kids in my estimation doesn’t set the “Christian example & testimony” it just marks a child as different and may possibly give rise to bullying. In a worst case scenario (extreme example) this could give rise to social and emotional problems which may be addressed by therapists and counsellors – a lot of public taxpayers’ money on a situation which could have been avoidable.

But it’s not my child, it’s not my community – and – dare I say it? It’s not the good old UK!

Kelsey - posted on 09/21/2011

Tell her stop because she might stand out? That would not be sending her a very good message don't you think? I thought Christians were not supposed to blend in.
Also, I have told Kylie to call her Ms. and then her first name. So Ms. Beth. It is what we do at church. To allow Kyile to go around calling adults by their first name allow would signify that they are peers, which they certainly are not. Children have not had enough years of living to be able to call themselves equal to a fifty some year old teacher. Now that I am an adult in the church where I grew up, I call adults that I grew up with by their first name, but some are still so much older than I, that I have a hard time dropping the MR. or MS. Kylie is not at school to become friends with the teachers, but to learn from them. Giving adults titles is showing respect.

Linda - posted on 09/21/2011

Many parents (including me) teach their children to address adults as Mr. or Mrs. --- as a sign of respect.

Angela - posted on 09/21/2011

I'm unsure what is so bad about addressing a person by their first name? I would rather be known by my first name than by my title followed by my surname - regardless of the age of the person speaking to me. I would be very wary of suggesting your daughter starts calling the teacher "Ms". If none of the other kids do this she'll stand out more and may be targeted by the other children for being different.

Also as a member of staff within an organisation where everyone is on first name terms (colleagues, clients, everyone) I would be very disturbed if someone addressed me by my title & surname. This type of formality would suggest to me that they didn't like me or I'd done something to fall out of favour with them.

Linda - posted on 09/19/2011

Well, I homeschooled my children largely because I didn't want these influences in their lives at such a young age. However, I understand everyone cannot do that, so my advice would be to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. Also, be very involved and informed about her education. Meet with the teachers and ask LOTS of questions. You are correct. God is watching over her at school.