my daughter is 4 and she seems like she is going to have very bad behavior problems i dont know the best way to go about it antmore and i dont want her to run over me what should i do

Shelly - posted on 04/03/2009

Quoting Laurie:

Consistancy is the key pick your battles and when you say no mean no, don't confuse the child by telling her no and then giving in to her.  Parenting is very hard I know I raise three boys....my youngest would of been an only child had God given him to me first.  I figure God has a sense of humour.  Dr. Dobson once said disipline your child your ruining their lives.  You have to find her currency.....what makes her tick, be careful not to get into a rut remember to reward the good behaviour and disipline the bad.  Remember each day is a new one.

Laurie,

  Too funny b/c I say the same thing about my youngest who's now 15...He has given my husband and I every thing the first two did not...I guess we all have to have one!!!

Laurie - posted on 04/03/2009

Consistancy is the key pick your battles and when you say no mean no, don't confuse the child by telling her no and then giving in to her.  Parenting is very hard I know I raise three boys....my youngest would of been an only child had God given him to me first.  I figure God has a sense of humour.  Dr. Dobson once said disipline your child your ruining their lives.  You have to find her currency.....what makes her tick, be careful not to get into a rut remember to reward the good behaviour and disipline the bad.  Remember each day is a new one.

Shelly - posted on 04/03/2009

Keyamonicha,

  First of all quit talking this negativity over your child..You need to pray that the Lord will bring healing to your daughters spirit...Get on your knees and pray and ask the Lord what it is he wants for your child.  And then sit still and listen for the true answer from the Lord

Christy - posted on 04/03/2009

You may have success with the "Love and Logic" meathod. There is an awesome book out by Danny Silk called "Loving our Kids on Purpose". It's revelutionary!!!!!

Diane - posted on 03/30/2009

It sounds like you have a very strong willed child. Praise God! With God's help, you will be raising a power house for the Lord. Dr. Dobson's book, "The Strong Willed Child" was a great book for me when my 32 year daughter was that age. He has some great suggestions for this. Remember that you must be reasonable and consistent in the discipline. 'Bring up a child in the way he should go and he will never depart from it." Diane

Priscilla - posted on 03/28/2009

Just want to add to what I wrote recently that don't forget to praise the child when they are good. Children thrive in praise! Praise them more often and you'll fine that all the problem behavior will slowly change.

Priscilla - posted on 03/28/2009

I'm not a mother of 4 year olds but I take care of 2 four years old girls and they are wonderful. What I have done is that we have bounderies. We set together some rules and agreed upon some consequences. So when they do something that they know is wrong they know what consequences they will get. I just have to be consistent and do it with a lots of love. I don't need to get frustrated or don't know what to do as I sat down and did the rules and consequences with them. I always assure them of my love after I discipline them. Assuring them of your love after disicipline is very important so let them know that it's the behavior that you don't like and that you will always love them no matter what.

Laura - posted on 03/08/2009

Quoting Lisa:

I have a 4 year old little boy and I've felt the same way, wondering if he was going to be a problem child in the future because he can be so hard to handle some days. Then I looked at what's going on in my home, some marital issues, I've not been as consistent as I should be lately, and I've also not been spending the quiet time with the Lord like I should...I notice when I am consistent, mean what I say, and give it over to the Lord in prayer, things seem to work out. Not perfectly, but I find the Lord equips me with the tools I need. I hope that helps and know you're not alone. I'll be praying for you.

 I am in the same boat with my almost 4 year old boy. After reading all the replies, Lisa's really hit my heart.  I'm going to try the consistent approach with him and with spending quiet time with the Lord.  I hope things go better for you, too.  I'll be praying specifically for you.

-Laura

Nicki - posted on 03/08/2009

HI! Have you taken her to the doctor? My son was always in trouble with behavioral problems. I had no idea what to do. I was near my breaking point, and he was well on his way to getting kicked out of daycare. I took him to the doctor and had him tested for ADHD. After the diagnosis was confirmed, he was put on Class 2 narcotics to help. As a mom, I was uncomfortable with those meds. I wasn't certain on long term effects. After research, I found a wellness company that had many great products...two specifically that help with ADHD. The best part is.....the products are safe and healthy and they were approved by the doctor. If you would like more information, let me know. 712 - 255- 0378. Have a great day.

Lisa - posted on 03/07/2009

I have a 4 year old little boy and I've felt the same way, wondering if he was going to be a problem child in the future because he can be so hard to handle some days. Then I looked at what's going on in my home, some marital issues, I've not been as consistent as I should be lately, and I've also not been spending the quiet time with the Lord like I should...I notice when I am consistent, mean what I say, and give it over to the Lord in prayer, things seem to work out. Not perfectly, but I find the Lord equips me with the tools I need. I hope that helps and know you're not alone. I'll be praying for you.

Michele - posted on 03/07/2009

Just remember you are the parent and she is the child. The key is consistency and to mean what you say. We believe in spanking our children as God intended. A little swat on the behind never hurt anyone when done in a loving way. I believe that spanking is the best way to get their attention. Of course, there are other means to discipline as they get older. But at this young age, I would just start giving them a swat everytime they disobey you. Do not threaten-follow through.....I promise you, you will have a changed child. What we do is we sit down and ask our children why they are getting a spankin-and the can tell us-we spank and then we let them know afterwards we love them and hug them....

Stephanie - posted on 03/07/2009

The most important thing is to mean what you say.  If you say "if you throw your toys I'm going to take them off you!" you need to do it.  If you don't the child will learn that your words don't really mean anything.  For me that meant I had to stop and think before I said anything, or I found myself doing things that I didn't really want to have to do!

Dr Kevin Leman has a great book calld Have a New Kid by Friday.  It might help.  It talks about B doesn't happen until A is completed.  It's very simple stuff, but effective.  And it works for all ages.  Good luck!

Winnie - posted on 03/07/2009

I love Dr. James Dobson's book, the Strong-willed child. It works perfectly for me.

Shannon - posted on 03/07/2009

In the case that she doesn't have any known problems, you may just need to be more specific and consistent about how you discipline her.  She will need boundaries....it will actually help her feel more safe as well!  My daughter is 4.  She has her moments, but she knows that if she starts whining, then she will spend her whiny moment upstairs away from the rest of the family.  If she does something wrong, the first time I warn her what will happen if she does it again, the second time, whatever I told her would happen will happen....every time.  So she gets the pattern "hey...if I do this, mommy will do this."

Praying for you!!  :)

Laura - posted on 03/06/2009

My daughter was almost uncontrollable at that age. by the time she was 13 we started her seeing a psychologist who gave her drugs. she has a moderate mental disability and needed the help to behave more normally. I wished I had gone to the psych sooner. it would have avoided much fighting and bad behavior.