Savannah - posted on 01/28/2010 ( 32 moms have responded )
I am so lost right now and have no idea what to do. My husband has become a vacuum. He sucks all the air and light and happiness and positive out of the room. Nothing is ever good enough for him. He is never happy. Any positive thing there is he quickly turns into a negative. There is nothing that he cannot make into a bad thing.
It isn't like family stuff, per se, because he loves us. It is everything else. He is never satisfied with anything and is always looking for something new. It is impossible to please him. If he finds something he does not like he won't stop talking about it. Like if I make something that he doesn't like. He won't let it go with just, "I don't really like it that well," he's got to tell me everything that he doesn't like about and so on.
He isn't happy with his job or anything. It would take me all day to write everything I mean. He is even negative about our children at times. My son has autism so automatically that means he's retarded. One of them is having a grouchy day so they are little a-holes. I mean, EVERYTHING!
He says, "Hey, I should be getting a raise and bonus from work soon."
I say, "Oh yeah? Cool!"
He says, "don't get too excited it probably wont even be anything much."
This is how it is all the time. I had a rotten upbringing but I have always been a very positive person. I don't let things get me down for very long. But now I can feel myself starting to become like him! and I don't like it. It's awful.
I can't talk to him about it because then he just starts whining and justifying and I seriously just can't BREATHE around him. I can't live like this. I can't describe how awful it is. I would rather he hit me, seriously.
I don't know what to do! We go to church, we pray, we do what we are supposed to do from that angle. I try to think of fun things for us to do and am automatically shot down by his negativity. I don't know what do to.
I want him to go and talk to someone but he won't do that either.
I can't keep listening to this every day. I feel like screaming but I can't do that. My heart literally hurts and I don't know what to do.
It makes me sad that he feels this way all the time and it upsets me to feel this way and I don't want our children to grow up around this kind of atmosphere.
I am not a quitter and I don't know how to help him. How can I help him?
Any suggestions, ladies? I can't exist in this darkness. I just can't.