My kids don't want to live with me!

Shannon - posted on 08/07/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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What do you do when your kids tell you they want to live somewhere else and that they don't want you to be their mom?

I don't think they understand this is a serious matter, but I am going crazy over this. They are only 5 and 7 and think it is a joke. Maybe I should treat it that way but I can't. This has hurt me betond reason I don't know if I should ignore it and try to give them a hard lesson and don't know who to go about with a hard lesson here.



Please help, I need some advice.

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Candi - posted on 08/11/2010

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My 5 year old has said some mean things before too. She normally says such mean things when I don't allow her to have or do something. She says I'm a mean mommy or she doesn't like me anymore, something along that line. When she does, I explain to her that it's not nice to say things like that and that it really hurts my feelings. I ask her how she would feel if I told her that she was a mean or a bad child or if I told her I didn't like her or love her anymore. It's not to make her feel guilty, but to let her see that it would hurt her too. She knows that I will always love her and I make sure to tell her that everyday. When she tells me that she doesn't love me, then I always say, "I still love you". I think it's just a phase that kids go through. It happens at different ages for every child. Know that you are not alone in this. There are many mothers that have heard the same thing from their children too.

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Jill - posted on 08/12/2010

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my daughter told me the other day she wished i was a better mother because she was not getting her way she is 8... i freaked out but i know it was not the right thing to do... in hind site i should of told her how much it hurts to hear that and how much i love her and would miss her... thats how i would think Jesus would of handled it ...with love,...kids say stupid things for a reaction ... and reacting badly is what not to do... my son also says he wants to live somewhere else when he doesn;t get his way....

Jessica - posted on 08/11/2010

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They are probably saying this to get a reaction out of you. They probably see that it hurts you. Society would say to ignore it or laugh it off as an independence thing. I would say correct it, it is being the start of sinful behaviour. Their hearts are being either mean on purpose or they are jealous of another. Either way this is defiant and disrespectful. I would give a good spank on the bottom and go on with my day. Children need to learn their place and they certainly shouldn't talk to their mom this way.

Good luck and God Bless!

Carla - posted on 08/11/2010

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Kids have a way of breaking your heart. They don't think, they just spout out whatever they want. Victoria's answer of packing their bags and giving them the phone is great! Explaining to them what this will entail brings reality crashing down.

God bless, honey

Stephanie Jo - posted on 08/07/2010

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I agree with both Heather and Victoria.I have had my oldest daughter do this to me.I also told her fine,go ahead,and when I started telling her that she wouldnt be with me and how things would be different she stopped once she understood.It did take a couple of times.It does hurt,very much.

Victoria - posted on 08/07/2010

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I think it's an age thing. My 8 & 6 year old's have come out with such things before, always when they were upset or mad about something, usually something they weren't allowed to do or have. I've treated it different ways, sat down & talked to them about, talked them about the problems that may occur in doing that. One time my oldest was very rude & hurtful about, so I just walked away and asked God what to do, I was lead by the Holy Spirit to pack a bag for her and tell her to phone the person or people she wanted to go live with. This really upset her, especially since I did it so calmly. I left her with the phone and walked out of the room. About five minutes later she called my cell phone & said, mummy I'm sorry, I want to stay with you and daddy, please let me stay, I love you. She hasn't said it for a really long time now.

Heather - posted on 08/07/2010

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I would certainly not treat it as a joke. When my 7 year old says anything along those lines I let him know just how much those things hurt my feelings. I'm not trying to guilt him by any means. But I want him to know the seriousness to what he is saying, so I explain exactly what it would entail for him to live with someone else. That not only would he not see me anymore, but he would also not see his sisters anymore. Or his friends next door. The people he went to live with might not take him to church, or read him the Bible. I just let him know about things that he probably wasn't thinking about when he said it. He always changes his mind. I don't know what your situation is, but in our situation, they would love to go live with their grandpa who lives in another state... so explaining exactly what that means is very helpful, especially since their grandparents would only take the boys, not the girls...

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