my son who is 23 says he does not believe that there is God

Coonie - posted on 07/07/2012 ( 40 moms have responded )

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He is a smart boy but no matter what I say I cannot convince him. I was shocked and saddened when he said that all his accomplishments are because of his hard work and not because God helped him. I have been praying everyday and has also asked my husband to help me but he said everyone has his own time and it is not yet his time. He goes to church with us but I don't think that his heart is in there.

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Carla - posted on 07/08/2012

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Coonie, there's an old saying--you can lead a horse to water, you can salt his tongue until he's dying of thirst, but you can't make him drink. Teens/young adults think they know everything, that wisdom starts and stops with them. NOTHING you SAY will change that, but EVERYTHING you DO may. Living your life, with your Light shining is the best witness you can have to your child. I know it's heart-breaking, as well as embarrassing, when you raised your children in the absolute best Christian atmosphere you can, and they still walk away. But 90% of Christian teens (me included) walk away. And it's nothing personal, they just want to see if the grass is greener on the other side. I can guarantee, they will find nothing that compares with Jesus out there.

So, as the other ladies have said, pray for your son, then take your hands off him. Don't be baited into a theological debate with him. This is a fight between him and God, not you. God can defend Himself ;) This attitude does not shock God, it doesn't confound or confuse Him. In fact, if we go out into the world, then come back, we know ABSOLUTELY that there is nothing out there that compares to Him, we will be, body and soul, His.

God bless, honey. Raising children doesn't end when they turn 18, does it?

Armetta - posted on 07/14/2012

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Wrong. Human beings have the gift of critical thought and to forego it is an insult to all the we hold dear.

Sherry - posted on 07/14/2012

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Do you not believe your sons accomplishments are due to his hard work ? Saying they are due to god would suggest that him sitting and doing nothing would gain him just as much as doing hard work and I don't believe that's the message you wish to put across ? You don't need to be sad your son doesn't believe it shows he is a critical thinker and when told to believe without proof he says no , this is a good thing , it affects not who your son is as a person one bit . If you have factual evidence to the existence of god , not examples of scripture I promise you it will work to convert him back to faith . Do not look to other women of faith for the answers on how to get your son to believe , look toward women (or men) who question and they will tell you better how to deal with such issues . Telling you to pray will not change his opinions , there are some things in this world that require real effort and not just intense wishful thinking study , study , study , find things that are explicit proof of your beliefs , find things that science cannot answer (the creation of atoms , the creation of the universe) explain that even the current pope believes in evolution . Most of all study his side of the opinion tell him belief in the bible isn't necessary to believe in god . If we took every word of the bible to heart than a woman like me as a child could be raped and taken as someones wife with no consent of my own . Its natural to shift away from believe in such a text as the times change , There is nothing wrong with your son , I suggest you read up on his side and read up on the proof of your side , don't look for proof from religious people such as priests and so on , he will listen to that . Look for proof from people with PHDs in fields of science , those people he will listen to .

Cyndel - posted on 07/07/2012

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Praying is the only thing you can do, besides stop preaching at him, if talking was going to convince him he would be wholly convinced by now.
Live your life serving God in front of him. Answer questions only when asked. Pray, and love him. It is all you can do. God changes the heart, God calls and brings us to him. He uses the people around us to help sometimes but not always. Just love him, accept him, don't condone his sin but don't condemn him either. Show him continually the Grace God continually shows us.

Mish - posted on 08/11/2012

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Well do you have any evidence that his accomplishments where the result of your god and not in fact because he work hard to succeed?

You know what might help you understand his point of view, is for you to keep a personal prayer journal and note in it everything that you pray for. Then in a couple months, have a review and see how many of these prayers actually got answered according to the promise in John 14:14.

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Ruth - posted on 08/16/2012

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There are many that Doubt his holy name but when there in the midst of trials and tribulations they always call on him independently. know that everyone may not believe in him but its not up to you to change his mind its up to you to pray about it and let God light shine through you to be a testimony on how great God has been to you. God will deal with him in his own way and in his own time. patience and understanding and know that God hears and sees all.

Carla - posted on 08/15/2012

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Tracie, I have sent you an administrative warning for your derogatory language. This is a Christian community, and we do not use such terms as 'imaginary sky daddy'. Please respect the guidelines listed on the topics page of our home page.

Thank You
Carla Allaire
Co-Moderator

Carla - posted on 08/14/2012

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Yeah, Angela, I've had to go through and delete probably a dozen this morning. I don't know why all of the sudden we are being hacked and attacked, but obviously 'someone' doesn't want the Gospel to be preached. Pray for these people, that the love of Jesus will touch their hearts.

Have a great day!

Carla - posted on 08/14/2012

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Thanks, Sandy, I will pray for your boys, and you pray for my daughter.

I find it laughable that 'atheists' can believe in a 'big bang' that they can't document. When the DNA pool was touched with whatever to produce all Life, where did this DNA come from? And, if each and every person and animal, plant, etc, has separate DNA, how did the first DNA morph into individual DNA? Wouldn't it stand to reason that all peoples and all animals would have the same DNA? And if there was enough DNA in this pool, it must have been large, to hold ALL DNA. So where was this pool? On a planet? Who made the planet? I find it takes more faith to believe in this than to believe a loving Being created us.

In Proverbs it says 'Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart.' This verse has given me more comfort regarding my wayward daughter than anything else. I raised Roni to the best of my ability, and although I was NOT living the best life back then, I DID try to teach them what I knew, and I believe God honors that. It took me til age 50 to fall on my face before our Father and actually give up control to Him. My daughter isn't 50 yet (darned close ;)), and she isn't dead, so my hope remains firm.

Keep praying for your children, honey. Live your life of Godliness before them and allow your Light to shine. Preaching turns them off, Godly love will bring them to Him.

God bless

Angela - posted on 08/14/2012

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Dear me Carla! Why are people posting stuff about casting spells on here? Looks like I missed this!

Anyway, to get back on topic, when dealing with non-believers or people who have lost faith, Anne has hit on a very good point - we can't be the Holy Spirit for someone else! That job's already filled!

I find that a helpful response to someone who says they don't believe in God is to comment "Your choice .... but God believes in YOU!"

The chances of someone hardening their hearts forever is greatly increased by them having to listen to preaching from someone else. A lady I know isn't a believer but her husband is, he's the Scout Leader in their Church community. Two other men with specific roles within the Church also had wives who didn't believe, but over time they both came to the Lord. Many people within that fellowship prayed for those 2 women. Now everyone at that Church is saying that the Scout Leader's wife will see the Light and give her heart to Jesus in the fullness of time. They're all praying hard. She is quite firm in her convictions that she won't! She'll even bring the matter up when in conversations at secular gatherings and tell people of what has been said to her by the Christians at her husband's Church! She starts laughing and insists she won't be converted.

Her heart and her mind opening to the gift of Faith and the joy of Salvation would have been far easier if people had just kept their mouths shut!

Carla - posted on 08/14/2012

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Louise, I have deleted yet another of your posts. Please remember this is a Christian community and post appropriately. If, after this warning, you post another regarding witchcraft and casting of spells, I will have to report this conduct.

Thank you

Carla Allaire
Co-Moderator

Sandy - posted on 08/14/2012

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Carla your job is a difficult one I am sure. Thank you for taking the time to post.

I find it to be an interesting phenomenon that a significant number of individuals and interrelated groups who regularly display intolerance for Christians and the belief in God are also those who frequently address the merits of tolerance, freedom of expression and open mindedness with regard to the thoughts and beliefs of others.This seems to have become a prevailing pattern of behavior among certain groups in our society over the course of the last ten years or so.. It would be interesting to have the opportunity to read any scientific published research done on this by a reputable social scientist from Harvard, especially a comparative study with focus on how differing social groups interact with one another during various evolutionary stages or brain development. .It might also make an excellent dissertation for a post doctorate social science major if one hasn't been done already although a non Christian would be best for this type of research so that bias wouldn't interfere with accuracy. If anyone is familiar with such a publication I would appreciate suggestions as to where I might find it.

Sandy - posted on 08/13/2012

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I forgot to mention to you that C.S. Lewis has a wonderful series of books that are referred to as Christian apologetics. One of these books that might be an excellent choice for your son is called, "Mere Christianity".

Sandy - posted on 08/13/2012

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My heart goes out to you. I also have two sons who's religious views differ from my own though I raised them to know and understand my faith to the best of my ability. It has been very painful for me as well to realize that my son's are twenty eight and thirty two and do not believe as I would like them to do, as I have prayed for years that they will. I also have another son who is nineteen who though he believed in God when he was younger appears to be loosing his belief at this time in his life. My oldest son is extremely intelligent, a "scientific" thinker and very logical in his thinking in general. If I were to define his beliefs based on what I understand about his thinking I would say he is an agnostic. This is someone who "isn't sure" if God exists. This son has suggested to me that he is wired in such a way intellectually that he finds it impossible to believe in something that can not be proven by scientific means to exist. He tells me that when scientists "prove" based on the scientific method that God exists, he will believe in Him. Of course as a believer in God who has seen God at work in my own life, hearing this from my son is very unsettling to say the least. Because my son is so intelligent I expect better of him with regard to this because one of the great hallmarks of a "scientific mind" is the ability to be open minded about the possibilities in the universe and it seems to me that disbelieving in something because science hasn't yet the ability to prove it is narrowminded and closing oneself off to possibilities. My son has also been influenced by the writing or Richard Dawkins who is an atheist that knows, (in his own mind anyway) that God does not exist and who has devoted much of his time and energy telling the world God does not exist so that others may share in his disbelief. My son however is a great admirer of Albert Einstein and owns a book of quotations by Einstein and among them are quotations alluding to the idea that God may exist. I think this allows my son to not completely write the existance of his creator off in his own mind. My other son who is twenty eight is a self admitted atheist although it was many years of deciding that God does not exist before he told me he is an atheist. I tend to feel that during their late teens and early to mid twenties a lot of kids begin to question the existence of God, especially when they go to college and are surrounded by the intellictual scientific elite. Because many,(though not all) of them believe that only science can answer the question of whether or not God exists and science has not yet answered that question they have arrived at the conclusion that indeed God does not exist. Many are certain that God does not exist based on this, (I can not see God, hear God or smell God and science does not yet have the capability to prove God, therefore He does not exist). As laughable as this is this is what our kids are exposed to nowadays. Walk into just about any bookstore and I can almost promise you that one of Richard Dawkins books will be displayed in a prominent place. Recently I have seen actual billboards near a college campus that say things like, "Don't believe in God? You are not alone", followed with information about atheist websites. Forgive me for going on and on about this but my point is that our society is now saturated with anti God messages. Secular humanism is the 'word of the day" and it is spreading like wildfire everywhere including the brains of our kids. As difficult as it is to do this try not to give up on the idea that in time your son may find his way to belief in God. I have continued to pray for many years and will continue to pray that eventually all of my children will believe. I have embraced the idea that your husband has that "everyone has his own time'. For some it might not be until the moment of death but my personal belief is that in the eyes of God it matters not the time they believe but only that they believe in time. I think the best any mother can do is teach her children about the reality of God and try to the best of her ability to teach them to love their creator. The rest is up to them and God. I hope you will feel peace knowing you have done all that you can to point your child to God. God bless you and your son.

Anne - posted on 08/07/2012

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You for the most part have been given very sound advice. One thing I would warn you about is to NOT BE HIS holy spirit. You might ask what I mean by this---

Our oldest daughter went through something similar about two year ago. Being the "fixer" in the family I jumped in with both feet and every chance I got I reminded her that this was not the way she was raised and she knew better than to have the ungodly thoughts she had. ANd ON AND ON AND ON I went until my Sweet Wonderful Sister-in-law whom I have a wonderful relationship with reminded me that I was NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT and could NEVER DO HIS JOB. It took MUCH PRAYER on my part and the part of a core group of women to Pray for me and our daughter. Our daughter is now living for our Lord and reminds me that we need to Pray for the outcome for things that we can do nothing to change ourself.

I hope this has helped. I will keep you in my Prayers.

Diana - posted on 08/04/2012

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There is a book called 'The Case for Christ', by Lee Strobel. He is an award-winning journalist and lawyer who was very distraught when his wife came to Christ. He used all his law and journalism training to research and try to disprove God, the Bible, and Christ. He came to some startling conclusions! :)

Some of these people on here are partially right, find skeptics and resources written by skeptics (another book: Letters From a Skeptic-very good, also!) who found the Truth. They could better help you understand where your son is coming from. Quit nagging him. Invite him to church if you must, but don't make a big deal out of it if he comes or stays home.

The people who say GOD didn't have anything to do with what your son has gained are wrong. Your son's accomplishments are God's work through him. God gave him the gifts he has, the abilities we all have; through those gifts, your son has earned his earthly prizes. That's all well and good, but our treasure needs to be in heaven where moths and rust cannot destroy nor thieves break in and steal.

Google atheist journalist turned Christian, and you'll actually find several links to different ones. Lee Strobel has written many books, is now a speaker and pastor. He said the only thing his wife did was live CHRIST before him and he got curious. He went to her church and decided to investigate. Your son at least has some early training to back him up. When and if he goes on to investigate for himself, your gift of Christ and the Bible in his early life will go with him and he'll start to remember what he knows and maybe put the pieces together a little faster.

Also, is it possible that he 'doesn't believe' because he mistakenly thinks that not believing will get him off the hook for whatever guilty pleasures he wants to take part in? I know many times in my life I have thought that life on earth would be easier if I didn't believe in God and know that there are eternal consequences for sin. Or even wished that SIN wasn't sin-no guilt. You know? Childish, yes, but it kinda sounds like that could be where he's going with it...

I'll be praying for you both!

Grace - posted on 08/04/2012

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My suggestion would be to get him the book called, "I don't have enough Faith to be an Atheist." We did a study series on it at church and it is very helpful in explaining the scientific evidence for christianity, as well as the logical and philosophical truths behind our belief system. It really helped me validate my belief in God and Christ for that matter, and I believe if he is willing to give it a chance, it could change his opinion and help answer some of the tough questions that we all have when we are young.

Angie - posted on 07/27/2012

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My almost 21yo has been recently going through this same thing. I think some of his distancing away from God is coming from several young adult friends of his that are facebook posting how they have found God and are praying for a job or praying for this or that. They make bad behavior choices and then pray for God to fix it.

He believes as another poster said that he has a job and kept it because of his hard work and efforts. He has a car because he saved to buy it. God isn't going to miraculously hand these things over because he prays for it. How I approached it with him is he is absolutely right...we don't pray to God to ask for things; otherwise, we would all be multi-time lottery winners...lol.....we do have to help ourselves; however, what about that night you had your car accident? or when our house caught on fire? That is what keeps him having faith in a higher power.

One poster reminded about God has his reasons for everything we experience. I would try to remember that and also try to respect he is an adult with his own decision making skills. I personally don't think 23 years of belief and faith goes away; I think he may just be trying to understand things as he gets older. I've seen people lose faith when they don't understand how God could allow something horribly devastating to happen...a mass shooting, innocent children getting terminally ill, etc. and understandably so, but again He has his reasons and we've learned to trust in that.

For your own peace of mind, turn your troubles over to God and pray that He will watch over him and guide him on his path.

Angela - posted on 07/25/2012

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Nearly all Universities have a Christian society. But it's fair to say that there are a lot of other societies as well - a great many of these are sports-related. A young student is quite likely to head anywhere where there's free food. And if there's free food at the next meeting - they'll be back! Young people (say aged 18 - 25) have often never lived away from their parents' home before. They've never had to budget or feed themselves before.

I never joined any societies whilst at University (including the Christian society) but I was a mature student. I started University at 39 and had kids to go home to.

Had I been a teenage undergraduate, I would've joined every society with free food. I would've attended every meeting as a regular member in order to be eligible for the end-of-semester party.

I would probably avoid any sports clubs though because that's all too energetic!

I honestly never met any University lecturer, doctor or professor who talked about religious beliefs of any kind or a lack of religious beliefs. I do remember one Human Resources tutor telling us that whilst employers must respect a person's cultural and religious beliefs, in the interests of health and safety, a Sikh working in a hard hat area MUST wear a hard hat - and if this means removing the turban and cutting the hair, then so be it - because it's the Law!

Carla - posted on 07/25/2012

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So sorry, Heartbroken. There are a lot of liberal professors in colleges (and at university for our British friends), and our children are at the mercy of their thoughts. I have seen so many kids come out of college so confused it takes years to get them straight again! All you can do is pray for him and remember the verse 'teach your child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart'. I am still waiting for my beloved daughter--she is 45, haven't seen her since 2000. But God promised me she would come home. That is the beauty of the Scriptures--when all looks hopeless, the Word gives us hope.

God bless, sweetheart. A mother's heart HAS to be made of rubber, otherwise it would break in two.

Heartbroken - posted on 07/25/2012

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I am in the same position as Coonie L - my son is 20 and was baptised when he was 18. He went to University and within a year told us he could not longer believe in God. Not only that but he seems to really hate God and can get quite bitter when talking about the Lord now. I can't even begin to describe the pain. Thank you for starting this thread Coonie. I pray that we will both have the joy of seeing our sons return to Christ.

Carla - posted on 07/20/2012

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Angela, Brenda seems to be one of those as well. I do not have the knowledge to figure out IP addresses, all I do know is that each has set up a membership in Christian Moms and Christian Mommies, therefore I have blocked each and every one, including now, Brenda.

I have no objection to a person voicing their opposing view, but using foul language and being disrespectful are not allowed. We went through this a little while ago with the witches, if you recall. So, pray for him/her/them, that they will find the Jesus we know and love, and He will replace the hate with His love.

God bless

Angela - posted on 07/20/2012

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If you think people on here are ignorant, why are you bothering to respond on the threads?

Have you ever heard of the saying "Birds of a feather, flock together?"

If we're so ignorant then you must be too, after all you can't seem to keep away and you're happy to comment on people's threads!

Angela - posted on 07/20/2012

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Carla, I've now seen a few of these posts - on here and on Christian Moms.

What makes you think there were four people? Have you got 4 different IP addresses? Or just 4 names? I'm personally inclined to think it's just one person, but I could be wrong. It's easy to get several IP addresses anyway - just use computers in public libraries, in colleges, in neighbourhood drop-in centres etc .. Maybe even in Churches!

There is no excuse for rudeness and vulgar language, but we can't object to people disagreeing with us. I often disagree with people on here and on other Circle of Moms Forums (and, in fact on other Internet Forums!) but I hope I put my point across politely.

Some people area also overly aggressive in their posts. Must be a nightmare being a moderator!

Carla - posted on 07/20/2012

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I have just had to give 4 administrative warnings to people who have nothing better to do than to harass women on a Christian site. If I somehow miss any, please send me a bump on fb and let me know.

I am very sad that these people feel the need to bash us for our beliefs, however, this seems to be happening more and more lately. So, ladies, I ask you to pray protection over our community, that God would send the angels to protect our forum. For some, it's the only contact with like-minded Christians they have.

God bless

Sandy - posted on 07/16/2012

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Check out livingwaters.com. This is the website for Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron. You can watch videos of them evangelizing and maybe this approach will help with your son. In a nutshell, they use the 10 commandments to show how we are not "good enough" to go to heaven and that Christ died to cover our sins.

As hard as it is for a mom to wait and watch, God will draw your son to Himself when the time is right. There may be things he needs to experience first so that he can see what God has done for him and write his faith story.

April - posted on 07/15/2012

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Hi,
I have two small children and I plead with the Lord every day on their behalf to save them and awaken their hearts to truth so I can't even imagine what you're going through. The reality is that it is God who saves, not us. It is Him that once awakened our hearts to understand who He is. If we believe what the BIble says, then we don't believe that his accomplishments were made due to his hard work, but rather that God had enabeled all of us to do whatever we do. Because ultimately He is glorified through us and therefore everything we do is because of grace so that God might be glorified and it is not in our own strength that we do anything.
Point being no matter what we study and know (which we should do...Paul tells us to study) and no matter what we say, we cannot change and transform his heart. The lord will use us in certain situations, but we cannot change his heard and cause him to be saved. Good news.... It's not up to us. You don't need to feel any pressure for your son. He was created by God and is loved by God. All you have to do is what you have been called to do. Live your life in a way that glorifies God, pray for him, love him and stand up for truth. God has got this. :)

Marge - posted on 07/14/2012

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It's very important that you respect your son's freedom of choice. Pray if it makes you feel better but also accept your child as he chooses to be.

Carla - posted on 07/14/2012

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Thank you, Linda. This IS Christian Mommies, so it is a given that we advise prayer for any and ALL circumstances. We would be terribly remiss if we DIDN'T advise to pray! Those of us who have raised our children to adulthood understand that there is nothing we can do to change our children's minds and hearts other than to pray and show them a Godly example. Trying to argue science vs God with older children is like trying to hold back Niagara Falls.

Under our comment box we have 'powered by RESPECT, not THUMPS'. Please remember this when posting.

Thank you
Carla Allaire
Co-Moderator

Linda - posted on 07/14/2012

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Sherry, perhaps you didn't notice when you posted here, but this is the CHRISTIAN mommies site. You will find, if you look in the important flagged posts at the top, the statement of faith which governs this group. We DO believe ALL the words of the Bible.

To say that we ONLY said to pray indicates a HUGE misunderstanding of how someone comes to salvation. Prayer is the ONLY thing that will work. The Holy Spirit must first convict someone of their sin and their need for a Savior before they can be saved. The Holy Spirit only responds to prayer.

Sherry - posted on 07/14/2012

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Thank you SO much for making this point , all these women seem to say that there's nothing they can do and that you can only pray . They have a very obvious lack of insight and should not be giving advice .

Laura - posted on 07/13/2012

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Perhaps it would be helpful to learn more about his position. Being ignorant of how he came to his conclusions will not help you convince him at all.



Making an effort to research his position and asking him informed questions should be your first options, not the last.



This video series might help you get a better understanding, then you will be able to come to him with an informed opinion and you'll have an idea what he might say:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KayBys8gaJY&list=PL85F1EE32A438AEB8

Armetta - posted on 07/13/2012

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There's nothing to convince him of. He is free to make his own choices. If he suffers some kind of loss or gets addicted to heroin he might need god/religion as a way to cope with it. Otherwise he'll be fine.

Marilyn - posted on 07/12/2012

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You can never reason someone to God. It takes faith, and sometimes personal experience. That being said, if you want to present him with sound reasoning on the matter, try giving him C.S. Lewis's "Mere Christianity". He was an atheist who came to Christ, and, as he put it, "the more I tried to disprove Christianity, the more it proved itself."

Most importantly, take a BIG step back. As someone who conflicted with my mother on many, MANY issues, the more you push, the more they'll resist. Instead of trying to convince, just show love. The truth will eventually speak for itself. And pray! Always pray! But don't tell him you're praying for him to find the way. That will make him dig in his heels even more.

Angela - posted on 07/09/2012

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Hey Nancy - I often give the example of Monica and Augustine myself in situations like this! Augustine would make some of today's wayward youths look pretty tame by comparison! His mother never lost faith or hope!

Nancy - posted on 07/08/2012

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This is a very hard situation to be in as being a mother who is a believer as I can imagine this probably rocked you hard. Keep in mind that God does everything for a reason. For example, St. Monica prayed for her son St. Augustine for 20 yrs. to come to know God and in the meantime St. Augustine was living a very secular and distorted lifestyle. It took her 20 years of praying and crying for her son to know God and God did hear her prayers and he became a great saint in the church. Keep praying for him, be loving, and supportive. Try not to be "preachy" or shoving religion down his throat and eventually God will touch his heart. God bless you and your son.

Ellen - posted on 07/08/2012

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Oh, boy, is that the truth, Carla. They say "parenting is a life sentence", and it is sooo true.
I raised all 3 of my children in the church, a good gospel preaching, spirit filled church, and none of them are following the Lord. The world that they have been growing up in, has confused them so totally, that even though they heard the bible growing up, they are now following the worlds path. BUT.....the seeds were planted when they were young, and I believe, with all my heart, that the Lord is going to bring them back in. My oldest is a heroin addict, and is as far from God as can be, but my God is a God of the impossible. We just have to turn them over to God. I know that is not easy, but we, as Christians have the hope that so many out there in the world today, don't have. I feel so sorry for people who don't know Jesus. I don't know how they cope with the world and all it's problems. I would have gone over the edge, many years ago, had it not been for my Lord. He gets me through each day, and I have to remind myself, all the time, that God doesn't leave us or forsake us. He is there, an ever present help in times of darkness.
PRAY, PRAY and PRAY more. My children keep me on my knees in prayer all the time.
Pray that the Holy Spirit will rip that veil from his eyes, and that he will see the need for God in his life. And keep praying that. I pray this for my children and my husband EVERY day.
As someone said, at least he is still attending church with you. That is good. And live your life as an example to him, that he will see Jesus through your daily living.
God bless.

Tanya - posted on 07/07/2012

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your son has to believe for himself.....continue to pray for him but ultimately..the choice is his...best wishes

Linda - posted on 07/07/2012

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Unfortunately, there are no grandchildren in heaven. Each person has to make that decision for himself. PRAY for him, every day. Pray the Holy Spirit would convict him of his sin and his need for a Savior. He is blind until his spiritual eyes are open.

Coonie - posted on 07/07/2012

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Thanks for your advice. I'll just keep on praying that the holy spirit will enlighten him and hope that someday he will become a believer.

Angela - posted on 07/07/2012

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Is your son really a non-believer? Or is he an apathetic believer? Is he an agnostic rather than an atheist? Sometimes it's far easier to simply say you don't believe than enter into discussions, arguments and headaches with people who are trying to "convince" you.

I think your husband is right about this. Your son will have his own time to consider God and eventually develop a relationship with Him. God also has His own timing and the Holy Spirit will move your son when the time is right.

Generally when people work hard to achieve something, others (both Christians and non-Christians) commend them for their hard work. Whereas it's entirely appropriate to be thankful to the Lord for one's successes and triumphs in life, I don't feel most people would appreciate outsiders who diminish their own input and only give credit to God! What about those people who've been MORE successful? Did God love them and bless them MORE? And what about those people whom we don't feel were worthy of happiness and success? Why did God favour THEM over those we see as more deserving? Just as we know that God is impartial (He sends his sun and rain on the just and the unjust alike - Matthew 5:45), we also need to remember that God expects our personal effort in all we undertake.

I thank God for my successes, my achievements and my current happiness and peace of mind. I know He exists, He answers prayer and is looking out for me. I also know that if I'd not put in a bit of effort and planning myself, I wouldn't be enjoying my current life. Solomon had the right idea, he prayed for wisdom. We should all pray for wisdom - for ourselves and for our loved ones.

Your son is attending Church which is quite a lot more than most non-believers would do. Finding faith, real, lasting, Holy Spirit-inspired faith worthy of the New Testament and worthy of all that Jesus stands for, doesn't happen overnight.

Is he attending Church for the sake of a peaceful life with YOU?
Is he going there to maintain friendships and useful links with other people at Church?
Or is he going there looking for some answers and waiting to see what happens next?

You can't be sure really can you? Don't even ask him though - he might stop going which means he'll be in a worse place than he is currently. Respect his decisions, don't browbeat him with questions (don't try to "convince" him). God gave everyone a free will.

Pray for wisdom and I'll do the same.

Louise - posted on 07/07/2012

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You have to let your son have his own beliefs. He is a man now and understands all that you have tried to teach him. Now he has to find his own way in the world and if that is as a non beleiver then so be it. He may come back to his faith later in life when he has lived a bit. Just back off and dont pressure him, he will find his way back eventually.

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