My son wont stop cutting up in school I have tired everything.??
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Heather - posted on 09/10/2009
Please forgive me if this is totally out of line. This is something that I have never dealt with, but I thought I would offer a few suggestions. Please feel free to completely disregard this if they are inappropriate or you have already tried them.
First I agree with Vicki, he could possibly be bored either because he is smarter then what they are teaching or it is above him. Also have you talked to the school so that they know to watch for this? Is there anyway you can meet with your pastor or a Christian counselor? Maybe they can help you to get through to him. Does your son know Christ? Maybe you can share scriptures with him that show him that Jesus doesn't want this for him.
Here is a site that you can check out. If he is a Christian then I would really recommend it for him: http://www.self-injury.org/scriptureands...
Here are some scriptures that you can pray over him (and share with him)
Also Hebrews chapters 9 and 10
Start claiming Psalm 72:14!
He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight.
Ruth - posted on 09/13/2009
I share your frustration, as I have been there! With my son, it started rather suddenly. I was confused by his behavior. True, he had been diagnosed as ADHD a few months earlier. He was in the 4th grade at the time his irractic behavior started. Not getting much information out of anyone, my son and school included, I finally went up to the school, stood in the hall and observed inside the classroom. What i observed spoke volumes! Can't say the problem disappeared, but I at least had something to work on!
My prayers are with you. As you are on this path, remember you are not alone. In addition to prayer support from people you may only be familiar with through this Circle of Moms, Jesus is also with you every step of the way. Please keep us posted, as I would love to keep you encouraged through all this, as I'm sure others will, too.
Marty - posted on 09/13/2009
I think she means behavior, not physical 'cutting up'... she says that the school doesn't think he needs to see a doctor (I assumed for an ADHD eval). Surely if he was physically cutting himself they would be encouraging pychological counseling!
Lashun: It's good that his dad is still involved in his life and that you have a relationship with a church. Does he act up in Sunday school? If not, perhaps this is because he has gone to Sunday school with these kids for a few years and knows them and doesn't have to prove anything to them. How well does he know the kids in his school class? He's only 5--so he probably doesn't know them well and is using comedy to make friends. It sounds like he just needs to know that he has to have some "serious time" when the teacher is talking and he is to be paying attention to her. I would suggest that you start a reward system for him. Tell him that for every day he comes home from school that he didn't get in trouble for acting out, he will earn one point. Then come up with rewards he can "spend" his point on. He's only 5, so his rewards should come every Saturday. Maybe for 3 points he can 'earn' staying up an extra hour on Friday night to watch a video with you (or Dad). 4 points he could earn a trip to a zoo or park; and for 5 points -- a whole week of good behavior-- he could earn the right to stay up late and invite a friend over to play video games--or whatever he's into that way. Praise him for his good behavior instead of focusing on "bad" behavior. But, don't squash his sense of humor! It will serve him well in life!
Michelle - posted on 09/12/2009
Here are some suggestions. I would practice "in school behavior" by having him model it at home. He needs to get into a routine of listening and following directions the first time he is asked. If my son doesn't follow directions. The rest of the day is miserable for him. He doesn't get to do anything he wants to do! Everytime he does something right, even the smallest thing, praise him like crazy! Remember to pray for him.
Heather - posted on 09/12/2009
What is he using to cut himself with at school? At 5 they shouldn't be giving him anything sharp! I would talk to the school again and let them know that they need to address this seriously. If they don't you need to contact the school board and make them aware of the problem. I would also let the school know that if they can't fix the problem at their level then you will seek professional help. From a Christian stand point we are to be peace makers, that does not mean that you allow a school to not help your child. At 5 if they don't stop this now then it is aiding him in a lifetime of hurt. The way that you handle this could help other students that attend the school. If they can't help your young child, how could they ever help older children. Please forgive me if this is worded to harshly, but I am honestly appalled by the fact that the school isn't taking it more seriously!
Wanda - posted on 09/12/2009
Lashun, I know exactly how you feel. My son was voted class clown his senior year in high school. Just keep telling him that it's ok to be funny, but when it comes time for school work that is learning time. My son's problems started when he hit 7th grade and didn't end till he graduated. He absolutely hated school, so I just kept on trying to encourage him to do what was ecpected of him at school. He did graduate and went to college and recieved a degree in welding and is planning on going back to college this fall, so there is hope, just don't give up. Wishing you well. :)
Lashun - posted on 09/12/2009
My son is 5 years old its on my profile and he been cutting for over a year now in school....I know he still adapting to the fact his father and I is not together anymore. We have gone to cunseling sections and Always have reached out to the school. The school is against him attend the docotor for evalution---They stay he just wanna do what he want to do...Don't get me wrng his father is invovled in his life.
Betty - posted on 09/11/2009
Lashun, sounds like you have gotten some sound advise so far. The age of your child would be helpful and the time of the acting out would help. I worked in a school for 17 years. There are many reason why a child would be cutting up in school. Some have already been suggested to you. I could be out of line, but I'm trying to understand why your child could be acting out? Family situations play a big roll in a child's behavior. How are things at home? A child's diet also contributes to his/her behavior. What does he/she eat? Sugar/Caffeine? These foods can make a child unable to sit still and concentrate, ie hyperactive. These things could be contributing to why your child is acting out in school. There are many reasons why a child cuts up in class. More information would be helpful. You can disregard my post for more information if you like. I would like to help, but without know what you child is doing and for how long age I can't offer anymore than has already been suggested.
Cindy - posted on 09/10/2009
You do not say the age of your child and how long this has been going on. Saying that you might consider talking to his teacher(s), principal, counselor(s) at the school and see what solutions they might have. You could first meet with thme without him and then have him come in and join in the decision making so that he knows what the plan is and the consequences of his actions if he decides to continue his actions and what he receives as a reward if he changes his ways and behaves as you ALL expect him too. Let him have a chance to express himself to you and the others without condemning him and let him finish before jumping in on what he is saying. Make sure you all listen to him and then work out a plan together so that he is part of the solution. Let him lnow that, however, that you are the parent and he is the child and eve nthough you love him YOU CANNOT AND WILL NOT EXCEPT HIS BEHAVIOR and then you have to follow through with the discipline that you decide on.
MAy God Bless you both in this trying time.
Vicki - posted on 09/10/2009
Lashun, I pray that the Lord will reveal to you the reason behind your son cutting up in class, so that both you and he can figure out how to deal with this situation. Is your son extremely bright? He may be a gifted learner who is simply bored in the classroom, so he finds (inappropriate) ways to amuse himself (and others). I imagine Chris Rock was a lot like him in class as a young child. His gift of humor will be a blessing some day, but for now, He needs to figure out alternate way of amusing himself without disrupting the class. Maybe he can doodle funny cartoons, or write a funny story instead of acting it. Do you think he would enjoy taking a drama course, or being in a theatrical production? Perhaps if he has a chance to do this stuff outside of class, he'll be better equipped to resist it inside of class. Blessings to you and your family.
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