Need advice!!

Wendy - posted on 06/01/2009

I understand and had the same fears. You know kids are smart and they know how to compartmentalize. When you show up, he knows you're mom and he will learn quickly what to expect out of each of you. I feared that I would miss out on all of the important things too. One thing I did was switch 4 days a week instead of 5. Also, God knows the desires of your heart. He's not going to make momma miss out on all the important things. I know with my childen, God allowed them all the firsts with us instead of the babysitter. Just present your request to God, He will take care of the rest! God grants us the desires of our hearts!

Tam - posted on 05/30/2009

That's wonderful news! Thanks so much for sharing. And you still might tell your co-workers to not tell you, just in case you're not right there when he does it! And thank you, but the credit goes to my wise mother who did it for me. She told me several years after, and I felt such a gratitude to her for it. I know it must have been difficult, wanting to share the good news yet keeping it quiet. God gave me such an awesome mom and I only hope my kids think of me the same way.

Teresa - posted on 05/30/2009

Quoting Christine:

Thank you Tam. I never thought about it like that! If I don't know he did it before it would be the first time for me! That's great advice!!


Also, I've been praying an awful lot about this and God has truly worked in this situation! He has given me the opportunity to bring my baby to work with me(I work at a daycare and a position opened up)! He has also given my husband and I a schedule where there will not be anyone else taking care of him. My husband got put on second shift so when he is off work I will be going to work.

Thank you all for the wonderful advice! I know I must never put my trust in anything but God and am so grateful for everything he's done in my life.

I'm so glad to hear that!  :)

Christine - posted on 05/30/2009

Thank you Tam. I never thought about it like that! If I don't know he did it before it would be the first time for me! That's great advice!!





Also, I've been praying an awful lot about this and God has truly worked in this situation! He has given me the opportunity to bring my baby to work with me(I work at a daycare and a position opened up)! He has also given my husband and I a schedule where there will not be anyone else taking care of him. My husband got put on second shift so when he is off work I will be going to work.



Thank you all for the wonderful advice! I know I must never put my trust in anything but God and am so grateful for everything he's done in my life.

Tam - posted on 05/29/2009

Oh honey, that is the worry with all moms who work outside the home. I went through it with each of my babies and my mom was their caregiver at that age!

One thing you can do so you won't miss the firsts is to ask your friend to NOT tell you if your baby does something. That way if your baby rolls over first there or while with you it won't matter, because to you it will be the first. The baby won't care when he does it first, it's more important to mommas. So, this is for your benefit. :)

As for the fear, that baby is one God gave into your care. While children may seem to prefer someone else for a day or whatever, you are his momma and God made you to love that baby best. Your baby will know this, will know momma's voice and love. Don't fret about the time you are away if you are comfortable with your choice in sitter. Instead plan to make those moments you do spend with your baby more cherished. :)

Pray for your baby and for you and your friend. Ask God to work in this situation to ease all your fears (about his loving her more, etc.) Ask him to give you a heart of peace and then praise Him on the good things (such as that wonderful baby and the great friend who is there to help you out, that you know what your child is being taught when he is away from you, etc.).

Easier said than done, but if you keep your eyes and heart on Him as much as possible, you might find this experience to be a big blessing for all three of you!

Anne - posted on 05/28/2009

Hi Christine, First I want to let you know how much I respect you for having the courage to go back to work. I tried but in the long run I became the Child Care Provider. It worked for our family until we mover to another city. Our daughters are 21 and 25 years old now but I still remember how I felt and how some of my moms felt. Are you nursing? Do you work close enough to go to your friends house to deed him on your lunch hour? If you can it will take some feeding juggling but it has and can be done. one thing I always tried to do was to let my parents know what kinds toys their children played with or how their day went. You can ask your friend to keep tract of feedings and diapering so you know if he is extra tired or hungry or if his diapering needs have changed during the day that might effect your evening with him. Enjoy the time you have with him and do NOT LET any body make you feel guilty for leaving him. You know what is best for your family. You may want to get a digital camera to leave with our friend. Some even have camcorders in them for small amounts of filming. Don't be afraid to call and see how he is doing throughout the day if this will make you more comfortable. This may be the hardest advice anyone gives you But if at any time you are uncomfortable leaving you son with your friend talk to her. See if she is open to change what may be bothering you and if not conceder taking him some where else. I am not trying to scare you or encourage you to worry. The Bible is very clear on not wasting time on worrying. I know from experience that excessive worry can and does hurt our walk with God. One last thing Pray for him and with him every day either on your way or before you leave your home. Even thought your little boy is young Prayer will get both of your day off to a great start.

Melony - posted on 05/28/2009

Christine, I had exactlly the same worries as you do when I had to go back to work and leave my little baby in someone elses care. But let me tell you something,your baby as small as he is, knows that your he's mommy and no one can have your smell and special touch. Dont worry hun, he's gonna love you just as much and when he gets a little bigger he will miss you and when you pick him up from "daycare' there will be nothing better than walking in that door and when he sees you, that unbelievable happiness when he sees you, to this day it's my 2nd best thing in my day!!! The first is when my little girl wakes up and when she sees me she just grabs me and wants to cuddle for a minute or two till she's nice and awake!! Your gonna be just fine hun!! I promise :-))

Audrey - posted on 05/27/2009

A childs love for his Momma can never be taken away. That doesn't mean that he won't love your friend. But, that won't take away from what he feels for you. Nobody else is Momma. You will miss some things. That can't be helped. But, you can have her keep a video camera handy and a digital camera. So at least you have ability to experience it too. Mommy of 4 Girls

Charlotte - posted on 05/27/2009

I know many moms who work outside the home cosleep with thier babies so they can have that closeness and bonding time when they are together.

Shelly - posted on 05/27/2009

Christine,

if you don't already have one I would go out and get a camcorder or a web cam if you have access to the internet at work!!! You need to remember that you have to do what you have to do to support your family. You need to put your heart to rest and let things go or you will allow it to eat you up!!! All you can do is charish the time that you do have with him!!!