Need advise on a polite way to say "I don't do Halloween" to my friends

Alexandra - posted on 02/16/2011

You could say something like, "I don't want to send my children mixed signals." This will undoubtedly open the discussion from even your non-Christian friend, and you can calmly explain that there are TWO reasons you don't celebrate Halloween, one spiritual and one not spiritual.

1.) You don't celebrate Halloween because it glorifies non-Christian traditions and beliefs (it's a Celtic/Pagan/Wiccan celebrated day) and you don't allow your children to participate in non-Christian holiday events.

2.) We teach our children to not take candy from strangers or go over to strangers houses...yet once a year we dress them up and say "Go knock on that strangers door and ask for candy!" Mixed message right there. Also...who's to say the person behind the door isn't some kind of child molester or sexual predator. Many are unregistered, and even if they are, they aren't required to post a sign on their door on Halloween to warn parents or kids away. Even if I wasn't Christian, for that reason alone, I will never allow my daughter to go trick or treating.

As an alternative, you could invite some of your child's youth group friends to the house, or school friends and host a Harvest/Fall party/sleepover on Halloween weekend...so the kids don't feel left out of the fun, and they will be under your supervision. Other parents might welcome the night off and you can start a new tradition.

Alisha - posted on 11/24/2010

Just say the truth about your feelings! Tell them you don't like how scary it is and that it does not please the Lord in your eyes. Tell them you made that decision for your family and do not condemn others for participating. You can always get 'preachy' for Christ, and say that you would rather celebrate Him and the fact that He died for everyone's sins so whoever believes in Him can have eternal life. You don't have to make it a huge convo and just be a light for Christ. They don't have to agree with you or understand why you made that decision but just stand for what you believe in; Christ!

Robin - posted on 11/01/2010

We just leave it simple...."we don't celebrate halloween". So far no one has/did press us on the issue. I think they've gotten use to us "jumping off the deep end" :P

Victoria - posted on 10/31/2010

I always tell people exactly that. We don't celebrate halloween, it's not a celebration that glorifies God and therefore we don't celebrate it. My kids do hand out seed treats (chips w/scriptures attached) most years, but with it being a Sunday this year we haven't even done that as we we're in our evening service until after 8pm. However since even that isn't something you do, just tell people that. "We don't celebrate, we don't participate, we don't have any involvement with it, due to our religious convictions."

Nadya - posted on 10/31/2010

I didn't post this question but I was looking for this answer myself. Thank You ladies for all the answers.

Jacqui - posted on 10/31/2010

@ Laura - like many others have said, a simple answer is best; because the bottom line, even after all attempts to be "polite", is that you don't really owe an explanation.

The folks that ARE celebrating don't have to explain to you why they see nothing wrong with it, right? So why do we feel a need to justify/defend our stance?

This year, on my job, my team decided to dress up and decorate with the Wizard of Oz theme. I told everyone, I don't do Halloween. And of course, for HR purposes, they didn't call it a Halloween activity, but it was clear that it's centers around this day.

I had a couple of folks that said things like, "you're not going to take one for the team?" I smiled and said, No. I don't do Halloween ... for anyone.

I don't see how or why that would be offensive. I think it helps too, to be comfortable in your own skin.

My daughter too, let's kids know she doesn't go trick or treating ... because she understands why, it's not a problem.

@Heather: I commend you for coming to a place of being able to make this decision for yourself and your family, despite how you were raised. I too went trick or treating, but came into a knowledge of the spiritual realities of the event and decided that that was not the direction I wanted to go with my own family.

Teresa - posted on 10/31/2010

I'd just say it's not something you are comfortable w/ doing and leave it at that. We DO ToT and I don't have a problem w/ it, but we don't do Santa, Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy even though all my friends (Christian as well) do. All I've ever said is that it's not something I'm comfortable doing and no one minds. Good luck w/ it! :)

Carla - posted on 10/31/2010

I agree with Heather. If they press you further, you can go into what your background searches have found. I don't think whether you participate or not is a topic for any great debate, and probably they won't, either.

Our family has always participated in Halloween. We have been mom and dad and now grama and grampa to our small town and now that we moved 'to the big city', to our neighborhood. We believe it's kind of a ministry.

My ideas are not your ideas. We should be able to differ and still love each other :)

God bless, honey

Heather - posted on 10/30/2010

My kids have been responding to the question rather well. When someone asks them they just say, oh we aren't going trick-or-treating. Plain and simple. Of course no one pesters kids with questions like why. :)



I think simple answers are best, just saying that we aren't doing it is what I try to go with. If someone asks why, just respond with something simple like, it's just not something I'm comfortable with. If they push further, I would go into the origins of what it is, and repeat that I just don't feel comfortable celebrating a holiday that isn't centered on Christ. Depending on who I'm talking to, I would add that I would never hold it against them for celebrating it. (God convicts different people of different things at different times. His timing is better than mine :) Or say something about knowing that not every Christian has a problem with it, but I just don't think it's something that my family needs to do.



I don't know if that helps you, but that's what we do with it. (I did grow up in a Christian home that celebrated halloween each year. So I have to discuss this with my mom and sister on a regular basis...)