Need some advice please!!!

Dawn - posted on 02/04/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hello Mommies. I need help. I have 4 children . My oldest 2 are 11 and 12, with very different personalities. I thought that after those two I had figured out how to discipline any child. Well, along came my 3rd dear son. He is incredibly smart and can be the sweetest person in the world. But he also has a very bad temper and can be terribly mean. He constantly talks back and will resort to hitting or kicking when he doesn't get his way (not me or his father. mainly his siblings). I love him soooo much but he drives me insane somedays.(today is one of those days)
I've tried everything I know to try. I try to be positive and acknowledge when he shows good behavior, tried time-out, spanking, taking things away. Nothing seems to work. Can someone please help, or at least let me know I am not alone?

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Alison - posted on 02/07/2009

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I would strongly recommend the book "The Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian, she has a series of different books and they  have all helped me.  Also, google - middle child syndrome - it's pretty interesting

Denise - posted on 02/05/2009

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You definately are not alone. I have a 4 year old who talks back and does not listen. He gets sassier and sassier everyday. I am on maternity leave and kept him home with me one day instead of taking him to the babysitter and let me tell you I was so exhaused by the end of the day I decided to take him to the babysitter from now on. I feel terrible for not wanting to have him with me but when he does not listen it wears you out. I have tried everything as well and just hoping that he will grow out of this stage. Everyone keeps telling me that he will grow out of it so I just take it one day at a time and pray that God will give me strength. Let's just hope it gets easier.

Shelly - posted on 02/04/2009

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Dawn,



  No your not alone.  I had one just like that.  What we did was shame him he could deal with the time outs and the spankings but he hated it when we shamed him he just couldn't stand it.  We would use things like how do you think your brothers feel when you do that or that hurts me when you act like that!! boy he just could not stand the disappointment.  I hope this helps you.  I will keep you in my prayers...

ERIN - posted on 02/04/2009

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TRY A CHART-ADD FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR-TAKE AWAY FOR BAD-DO THIS FOR ALL THE KIDS-AT THE END OF THE WEEK REWARD THEM IF THEY REACH A GOAL-GIVE ONE WORRINIG ONLY!BE CREATIVE WITH THIS ,NO ONE KNOWS THEM LIKE YOU DO!I HOPE THIS HELPS GOOD LUCK,GOD BLESS

Christina - posted on 02/04/2009

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You are not alone. I have a strong willed son also. Many things we have tried haven't worked. But we have recently taken a bible class on parenting. Its called Parenting 101: Parenting with a Purpose. it has helped SO much.



You and your husband have to come up with consquences for bad behavior and stick to them. That's the hardest part for me. We give a time limit for thier rooms and with 10 minutes left go in I go and say so. Not anymore. It kills me not give them a warning but, you know what, after that first time, They keep themselves accountable. No more yelling and frustration.



Make a plan and stick with it. Explain the plan to the kids, go over what will happen if the plan is not followed, and stick to it. You will be amazed what will happen. It works. My kids are starting to take me seriously.



Good luck.

Jen - posted on 02/04/2009

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You are not alone. I have some of those same issues with my kids. What helped me was talking with my pastor. She made me realize that my reaction to the bad behaviour in my kids was not necessarily related to their bad behaviour, but rather (now this is my situation, and may not necessarily apply to you) that I was feeling that I was a bad mom every time my kids acted out. So I have started using what we call the truth card. -- What the truth card is: Once you figure out the lie that is being fed to you (in my case I am a bad mom because my kids aren't listening) you write that down on one side of the card and then you write below it -- I do not agree with this. On the other side of the card you write a passage of scripture that speaks to you -- the truth. I don't know if this will help you, but it certainly helped me look at, and deal with the bad behaviour in a totally different way.

Eva - posted on 02/04/2009

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Maybe try praying with him let him know his behaviour is worrying you.. Hope this helps.

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