Becky - posted on 12/27/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )
Hi! This is honestly the first time i've posted on here. I'm a first time mommy to an 8 month old little boy. My husband and I married May 30, 2009 and one and half months later learned we were expecting a honeymoon baby. We moved quickly out of our cramped apartment and bought a cute (but old..and needing lots of fixing) house. Life has been ever so hectic ever since I learned I was pregnant. Our little boy is SUCH an amazing boy..he is already WALKING and is such a sweetheart... we love him so much.
We are having a hard time with our relationship as man and wife though ever since, honestly, we brought our baby home from the hospital. We have only been able to go on 4 dates since he was born due to my husband and i both being overly loaded with work (he works two jobs (monring and night) and I am a full time mommy nanny to 17 month old triplets and bring my son with me.
My job is so stressful ( i took the job and didn't really wait to find out if that was what God wanted me to take because i just wanted to be able to bring my son with me somewhere and not have to put him in daycare)... so i'm learning my lesson..but now my doctor has prescribed me anxiety/anti-depressant meds because i'm SO stressed and SO anxious all the time... to the point that i get anxiety attacks at work several times a day and almost pass out!
My job's contract ends in May so i plan to try to stick it out until then..
i just don't know what to do!
My husband and i seem to ALWAYS be fighting.. it is all going good and then (because we're so tired), we say something that hurts or frustrates each other and then the good mood is gone... we are both christians but my husband is a bit passive and has a hard time initiating reading the Word together or prayign with me.. so if i want that i have to ask him to do it with me..
it's just so hard..he admitted to me last night that when we married, he had envisioned that I would keep the house imaculately clean and prepare meals, daily..but i work 47 hours a week! It's just too hard to work that many horus taking care of four children 1 and under and then come home with a tired, grumpy 8 month old and try to pick up the house and clean and fix dinner , bath, and get the baby to bed before gets home from work . i constantly remidn him and constantly gets mad that it's messy and always tells me that i'm the one who is stressing him and my not keeping the house clean.
what should i do? I' have been searching for a marriage counselor for us... our pre-marriage counselor had told us before we married that we needed to put aside all expectations...but he is having a hard time doing that..
i feel so sad and burndened.. i work SO hard all the time.. i clean as much as i can... as a nanny i do the kids' dishes, laundry, dog, etc. too.and then come home adn do the same here... it's just too much.....
please.. i need prayer... guidance and words of wisdom!
sorry this is so long!